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Event Log for GoT: Season 7 - Fantasora

Event Log for GoT: Season 7

Kills
Episode 1: Dragonstone
2:41 (+94) Arya Stark:
Masquerading as Walder Frey, Arya serves poisoned wine to a host of 47 Freys in the same dining hall where Robb and Catelyn were murdered at the Red Wedding.

"But you didn't slaughter every one of the Starks. No, no, that was your mistake. You should have ripped them all out, root and stem. Leave one wolf alive and the sheep are never safe. When people ask you what happened here tell them the North remembers. Tell them winter came for House Frey."
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
Episode 2: Stormborn
33:54 (+5) Samwell Tarly:
Samwell plies off the infected Greyscale tissue from Jorah's chest, with all the gentleness of a spoon digging through hot pie. (Major Injury of Named Character)
43:40 (+1) Jon Snow:
Jon chokes a creeping Littlefinger against a wall in the Crypts of Winterfell. "Talk to my sister, and I'll kill you myself." (Minor Injury of Named Character)
50:51 (+4) Euron Greyjoy:
Euron crushes a Greyjoy soldier with the landing bridge, as he makes his entrance aboard Yara's ship, and then immediately cuts down another. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
51:13 (+4) Theon Greyjoy:
Theon cuts down two of Euron's soldiers as they board Yara's ship. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
51:16 (+6) Yara Greyjoy:
Yara kills three Greyjoy soldiers in the initial melee aboard her ship, throwing down one, slicing down a second, and killing a third on the backswing of her sword. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
51:30 (+2) Euron Greyjoy:
Euron parries a blow, and then slices up a Greyjoy soldier. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
51:31 (+4) Yara Greyjoy:
Yara slices two Greyjoy soldiers by the neck. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
51:35 (+2) Tyene Sand:
Tyene enters the fray, impaling a Greyjoy soldier with her dagger, before Yara instructs her to protect Ellaria Sand below deck. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
52:01 (+4) Theon Greyjoy:
Theon kills two more soldiers. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
52:01 (+4) Yara Greyjoy:
Yara cuts the throat of one of Euron's soldiers, before turning to witness the fiery carnage of her fleet.  As she regains her composure she stabs another soldier. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
52:26 (+4) Euron Greyjoy:
Euron cleaves down an Ironborn soldier, then sticks his axe into the head of another before getting caught by Nymeria Sand's whip. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
52:52 (+4) Tyene Sand:
Below deck, Tyene takes out two Ironborn with her daggers. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
53:03 (+10) Euron Greyjoy:
Euron stabs Obara through the stomach with the shards of her own broken spear. (Kill of Named Character)
53:09 (+2) Nymeria Sand:
Nymeria stabs an Ironborn, only to turn around to see her sister Obara being killed. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
53:18 (+1) Nymeria Sand:
In a fury after witnessing her sister Obara's death, Nymeria whip-grabbles Euron Greyjoy, spinning closer to slice him across the leg with her dagger. (Minor Injury of Named Character)
53:30 (+10) Euron Greyjoy:
Euron bests Nymeria Sand, blocking her dagger and then strangling her with her own whip. (Kill of Named Character)
53:58 (+2) Yara Greyjoy:
Yara knocks an Ironborn soldier off the upper deck of her ship. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
54:15 (+2) Euron Greyjoy:
Euron kills an intervening soldier after he and Yara begin their head-to-head fight. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
54:21 (+2) Euron Greyjoy:
Euron's axe finds an unsuspecting soldier that Yara uses as a human shield. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
54:43 (+2) Theon Greyjoy:
Theon cuts down one last Ironborn, before his uncle Euron calls to him. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
55:41 (+1) Euron Greyjoy:
Euron bests Yara in single combat, taking his bloodied niece captive. (Minor Injury of Named Character)
Episode 3: The Queen's Justice
0:00 (+5) Cersei Lannister:
Cersei plants a kiss on Tyene Sand, poisoning her with the Long Farewell - the same poison used by Ellaria Sand to kill Myrcella Baratheon. (Major Injury of Named Character)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
0:00 (+5) Olenna Redwyne (Grandma Tyrell):
After the Tyrell forces are defeated and Highgarden is taken by the Lannisters, Olenna accepts the mercy offering of poisoned wine offered by Jaime.

Olenna: "Will there be pain?"
Jaime: "No, I made sure of that."
Olenna: "That's good."
(Major Injury of Named Character)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
53:50 (+2) Grey Worm :
Grey Worm slits the throat of a Lannister guard, after sneaking past the walls of Casterly Rock via the sewer tunnels. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
54:22 (+8) Grey Worm :
Leading the Unsullied, Grey Worm stabs two Lannister soldiers while charging the stairs, and smashes two more with his shield. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
54:29 (+14) Grey Worm :
At the top of the stairs, Grey Worm kills 7 Lannister soldiers, throwing his spear to impale the last one against a door. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Episode 4: The Spoils of War
28:28 (+1) Brienne of Tarth:
Brienne beats lucky man Podrick badly in a sparring session at Winterfell, before Arya Stark inerrupts.

Brienne: "Don't lunge."
Brienne: "Don't go where your enemy leads you."
Brienne: "And don't-"
Arya: "Don't fight someone like her in the first place."
(Minor Injury of Named Character)
40:10 (+66) Daenerys Targaryen:
Daenerys, riding on Drogon's back, breaks the line of Lannister soldiers with a breath of fire. "Dracarys." (Kill of Unnamed Character)
41:43 (+68) Daenerys Targaryen:
Daenerys and Drogon make a strafing run on the Lannister caravan, torching 34 soldiers and a dozen loot wagons in the process. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
42:39 (+36) Daenerys Targaryen:
Daenerys and Drogon begin a second strafing run after a volley of arrows from Jaime Lannister's archers fail to have any effect. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
43:03 (+8) Jaime Lannister:
Jaime fends off four Dothraki screamers as they break through the Lannister lines and descend upon his position. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
43:20 (+2) Dickon Tarly:
Dickon stabs the dual-wielding Dothraki screamer through the back while he is engaged in battle with Jaime. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
44:07 (+6) Daenerys Targaryen:
As Bronn runs through the chaos of the battlefield, he shoves aside a burning Lannister soldier and encounters two other burning men. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
44:16 (+2) Bronn:
Bronn unsheathes a sword out of the torso of an impaled, flailing Lannister soldier, inflicting the fatal damage on the way out. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
44:18 (+4) Bronn:
Bronn runs through the chaos of the battlefield to make his way over to the Scorpion, cutting down two Dothraki screamers with the sword he takes from the torso of an impaled Lannister soldier. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
44:56 (+10) Bronn:
Bronn blows away the Dothraki screamer with a bolt from the Scorpion. (Kill of Named Character)
46:03 (+22) Daenerys Targaryen:
Jaime surveys the losing battle, witnessing a field of Lannister soldiers being burned alive. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
46:31 (+32) Daenerys Targaryen:
Daenerys and Drogon go on a third strafing run, flying over the river and targeting Jaime Lannister's position. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
47:34 (+5) Bronn:
After a miss on his first shot, Bronn strikes a bolt from the Scorpio into Drogon's right shoulder, sending him spiraling out of control and forcing Daenerys to the ground. (Major Injury of Named Character)
49:08 (+4) Daenerys Targaryen:
Drogon gets to roasts two consolation horses after Bronn tackles Jaime Lannnister out of the way from his ill-fated charge at Daenerys. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Episode 5: Eastwatch
10:41 (+20) Daenerys Targaryen:
After they refuse to bend the knee, Daenerys has Randyll and Dickon Tarly executed by dragonfire.

"Lord Randyll Tarly, Dickon Tarly, I, Daenerys of House Targaryen, First of My Name, Breaker of Chains, and Mother of Dragons, sentence you to die. Dracarys."
(Kill of Named Character)
12:57 (+5) Olenna Redwyne (Grandma Tyrell):
Jaime confirms the death of Olenna Tyrell from the poisoned wine she takes after the Tyrell defeat at Highgarden. "It was Olenna. She confessed before she died." (Kill of Named Character (finished off from previously fatal injury))
39:28 (+4) Gendry:
After Davos's charade begins to break down, Gendry brings out his warhammer to smash in the faces of the two investigating Gold Cloaks. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Episode 6: Beyond the Wall
26:02 (+5) Beric Dondarrion:
Beric smacks his flaming sword onto the wight bear, setting it on fire. (Major Injury of Named Character)
26:47 (+10) Jorah Mormont:
As the wight bear mauls a helpless Thoros, Jorah runs in to stab it with his dragonglass dagger, killing the bear and saving Thoros. (Kill of Named Character)
27:36 (+1) Beric Dondarrion:
Beric applies his flaming sword to cauterize the chest wounds suffered by Thoros at the paws of the wight bear. (Minor Injury of Named Character)
32:55 (+2) Gendry:
Gendry smashes in the head of a wight with his warhammer during the ambush on the White Walker scouting party. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
32:56 (+2) Beric Dondarrion:
Beric slices through a wight during the ambush on the White Walker scouting party. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
32:57 (+2) Jorah Mormont:
Jorah slices across a wight during the attack on the White Walker scouting party. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
33:06 (+10) Jon Snow:
After dodging a blow, Jon slices through the White Walker leading the scouting party with Longclaw, shattering it to pieces. (Kill of Named Character)
33:07 (+14) Jon Snow:
7 of the wights in the scouting party disintegrate after Jon kills the White Walker leading them.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
46:06 (+1) Sandor Clegane (The Hound):
The Hound shatters the jaw of a wight with one hell of an accurate rock throw. "Dumb cunt." (Major Injury of Unnamed Character)
47:15 (+44) Sandor Clegane (The Hound):
The Hound smashes 22 wights in the ensuing battle as the Night King's Army of the Dead descends upon the group. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
47:17 (+34) Jon Snow:
Jon cuts down 17 wights in the ensuing battle as the Night King's Army of the Dead descends upon the group, up until Daenerys and her dragons arrive. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
47:20 (+52) Jorah Mormont:
Jorah cuts down 26 wights in the ensuing battle as the Night King's Army of the Dead descends upon the group. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
47:29 (+62) Beric Dondarrion:
Beric cuts down 31 wights in the ensuing battle as the Night King's Army of the Dead descends upon the group. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
48:28 (+50) Tormund Giantsbane:
Tormund kills 25 wights in the ensuing battle as the Night King's Army of the Dead descends upon the group. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
51:38 (+604) Daenerys Targaryen:
Daenerys and her three dragons ride in to save the day for Jon Snow, Jorah, Tormund, the Hound, and Beric, laying waste to a massive number of wights with their dragonfire. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
52:39 (+20) Jon Snow:
Jon realizes he is currently only 4th place on the Kills leaderboard, and climbs back down off of Drogon to score 10 more wight kills in garbage time, as all the others wisely get onboard. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
53:14 (+1) Sandor Clegane (The Hound):
The Hound secures the cargo by impaling the wight onto one of Drogon's spines for the flight out. (Major Injury of Unnamed Character)
53:35 (+10) White Walker (Night King):
The Night King launches a perfect javelin toss, striking Viserion right in the neck and bringing him crashing straight down into the icy lake. (Kill of Named Character)
54:34 (+8) Jon Snow:
Jon Snow cuts down four wights after witnessing Viseron's death, before realizing that trying to cut his way to the Night King for a 1v1 was a terrible idea and that he should really get back to the dragon evac. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
57:29 (+14) Benjen Stark:
Benjen knocks out 5 wights with his flaming flail and his horse runs over 2 more while he rides in to the ice lake battlefield to rescue Jon Snow. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
57:36 (+6) Benjen Stark:
After emerging from the cloud of smoke, 3 wights are knocked down at the end of Benjen's run as he approaches Jon Snow across the icy shore. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
58:22 (+4) Benjen Stark:
A horseless Benjen manages to knock out two more wights with his flaming flail before succumbing to the wight horde. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Episode 7: The Dragon and the Wolf
22:15 (+1) Sandor Clegane (The Hound):
After revealing the wight to the audience in King's Landing, Sandor Clegane reels back its chain and bisects the wight as it charges him. (Major Injury of Unnamed Character)
23:04 (+2) Jon Snow:
At the audience in King's Landing, Jon demonstrates the two ways of defeating the Army of the Dead, burning the wight's severed hand, and then finishing off the dismembered wight with a dragonglass dagger. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
51:43 (+1) Harrag (actor: Brendan Cowell):
After Theon challenges his crew to sail on a mission to rescue Yara, Harrag decks Theon, beating him bloody on the beaches of Dragonstone. (Minor Injury of Named Character)
53:24 (+1) Theon Greyjoy:
Theon makes a comeback in round two with Harrag, wearing out the older Ironborn's kneecap on his impervious groin area, and then pounding him into submission. (Minor Injury of Named Character)
59:58 (+10) Arya Stark:
Arya slits a groveling Littlefinger across his throat, after his betrayals and treason are exposed by Sansa in the court of Winterfell to the Northern and Vale lords.

Sansa: "Thank you for all your many lessons, Lord Baelish. I will never forget them."
(Kill of Named Character)
78:00 (+16) White Walker (Night King):
The Night King rides in on the newly risen wight-dragon Viserion, attacking the Wall at Eastwatch-by-the-Sea with blue flame, and sending 8 of its defenders to their death amidst the collapsing ice wall. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Insults Delivered / Funny Lines
Episode 1: Dragonstone
2:32 (+3) Arya Stark:
"But you didn't slaughter every one of the Starks. No, no, that was your mistake. You should have ripped them all out, root and stem. Leave one wolf alive and the sheep are never safe. When people ask you what happened here tell them the North remembers. Tell them winter came for House Frey." (Threat)
10:45 (+3) Tormund Giantsbane:
"Looks like we're the Night's Watch now." (Funny Line)
submitted by alicehanners (approved!)
11:31 (+3) Jaime Lannister:
Jaime: "How are they better allies? How are they different from the Freys? They both broke their promises and murdered their former friends as soon as it suited them."
Cersei: "So does everyone, when it suits them. Unlike the Freys, they have ships, and they're good at killing."
Jaime: "They're not good at anything."
(Witty Insult)
submitted by alicehanners (approved!)
14:58 (+3) Jon Snow:
Sansa Stark: "They respect you, they really do, but you have to- Why are you laughing?"
Jon Snow: "What did father used to say? Everything before the word 'but' is horse shit."
(Witty Insult)
submitted by andrei.sias (approved!)
19:41 (+3) Jaime Lannister:
Cersei: "I'm the Queen of the 7 Kingdoms"
Jaime: "Three Kingdoms, at best."
(Witty Insult)
submitted by kevinpetsky (approved!)
24:00 (+3) Euron Greyjoy:
Jaime: "The people I was cutting down were your own kin."
Euron: "The place was getting crowded."
(Funny Line)
submitted by hsackman2146 (approved!)
25:39 (+3) Euron Greyjoy:
When he said to Jamie and Cersei, ".... with two good hands." Making a joke of Jamie having lost one his hands. (Witty Insult)
submitted by Th3 JaBBeRWoCK (approved!)
26:04 (+3) Euron Greyjoy:
Cersei: "You murdered your own brother."
Euron: "You should try it. Feels wonderful."
(Funny Line)
29:57 (+3) Archmaester Ebrose:
Samwell Tarly: "I was wondering if you had considered my proposition."
Archmaester Ebrose: "I don't remember your proposition."
Samwell: "I asked you if, in light of what I've seen in the North, if I could have access to the restricted area of the library."
Ebrose: "That area is reserved for Maesters. Are you a maester?"
Samwell: "No."
Ebrose: "Not a very strong proposition, is it?"
(Funny Line)
33:59 (+3) Tormund Giantsbane:
"You're a lucky man." - to Podrick after he gets knocked down by Brienne during sparring practice. (Funny Line)
34:47 (+3) Sansa Stark:
Petyr Baelish: "Why aren't you happy? What do you want that you do not have?"
Sansa Stark: "At the moment, peace and quiet."
(Witty Insult)
34:54 (+3) Sansa Stark:
"No need to seize the last word, Lord Baelish. I'll assume it was something clever." (Witty Insult)
submitted by xdwxrd (approved!)
40:08 (+3) Sandor Clegane (The Hound):
Thoros: "Bad night to be outdoors."
Sandor: "You've got real powerful magic to figure that out. Did the Lord of Light whisper that in your ear? 'It's snowwing, Thoros.
It's winnndy. It's gonna be a coold night.'"
(Funny Line)
40:17 (+3) Sandor Clegane (The Hound):
Thoros: "Why are you always in such a foul mood?"
Sandor: "... Experience."
(Funny Line)
41:04 (+3) Sandor Clegane (The Hound):
to Thoros: "I'll tell you what doesn't scare me: bald cocksuckers like you. You think you're fooling anyone with that top knot?" (Witty Insult)
submitted by tylermanhart (approved!)
44:22 (+6) Sandor Clegane (The Hound):
"It's my fucking luck I end up with a band of fire-worshippers" -as Thoros beckons him over to check out the magic prophecy fire he just started (Funny Line)
Episode 2: Stormborn
0:00 (+3) Daenerys Targaryen:
on Melisandre's arrival to Dragonstone, after Varys protests that she had served Stannis Baratheon: "You chose an auspicious day to arrive at Dragonstone. We've just decided to pardon those who once served the wrong King." (Witty Insult)
submitted by kimberly.ramia (approved!)
0:00 (+3) Euron Greyjoy:
Euron taunts Theon into fleeing the battle as he holds Yara captive: "Ah come on, you cockless coward. I have her. Come and get her." (Witty Insult)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
0:00 (+3) Davos Seaworth:
Davos' comments on the letter from Tyrion: "Sounds like a charmer. Casual mention of a Dothraki horde, a legion of Unsullied, and 3 dragons - a bit less charming." (Funny Line)
submitted by pacelli929 (approved!)
0:00 (+3) Euron Greyjoy:
Euron sarcastically and disparagingly to Yara as he approaches her to cut her down: "Give your uncle a kiss" (Witty Insult)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
0:00 (+3) Arya Stark:
Hot Pie: "You've been making pies?"
Arya: "One or two." (in reference to her Frey pies)
(Funny Line)
submitted by ssantise (approved!)
0:00 (+3) Archmaester Ebrose:
Samwell Tarly: "I met Stannis Baratheon's daughter at Castle Black. She had the Greyscale as a baby and was cured."
Archmaester Ebrose: "No."
Samwell: "Isn't there some way..."
Ebrose: "Does this look like a baby to you?" (referencing their patient, Jorah Mormont)
Samwell: "No."
Ebrose: "Have you studied the varying rates of greyscale progression in infants and fully grown men?"
Samwell: "No."
(Funny Line)
submitted by pacelli929 (approved!)
0:00 (+3) Randyll Tarly:
"I'm a Tarly. That name means something. We're not oathbreakers. We're not schemers. We don't stab our rivals in the back or cut their throats at weddings." (Witty Insult)
submitted by peggypcwu (approved!)
10:18 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion while convincing Daenerys to follow Melisandre's proposal to ally with Jon Snow. "I can't speak to prophecies or visions in the flame... but I like Jon Snow, and I trusted him. And I am an excellent judge of character." (Funny Line)
13:42 (+3) Jaime Lannister:
Randyll Tarly: "Ser Jaime, I believe you know my son."
Jaime: "Rickon, isn't it?"
Dickon: "Dickon."
Jaime: "That's it." (walks past Dickon to speak with Randyll)
(Funny Line)
48:28 (+3) Obara Sand:
Tyene Sand: "Maybe I'll kill you both before we take King's Landing. And then I won't have to share."
Obara and Nymeria: "(baby voice) Mammmaaa!"
(Funny Line)
48:28 (+3) Nymeria Sand:
Tyene Sand: "Maybe I'll kill you both before we take King's Landing. And then I won't have to share."
Obara and Nymeria: "(baby voice) Mammmaaa!"
(Funny Line)
49:42 (+3) Ellaria Sand:
to Theon, as she gets between Yara's legs: "Why are you standing all the way over there then? The foreign invasion is underway." (Funny Line)
Episode 3: The Queen's Justice
0:00 (+3) Euron Greyjoy:
to Yara, mocking Theon's reaction during their battle on her ship: "*Ohhh noooo!* What a twat." (Witty Insult)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
0:00 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:
calling back to Bronn's quote about the Eyrie: "Give me ten good men, and I'll impregnate the bitch" (Funny Line)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
0:00 (+3) Melisandre:
to Varys: "I will return, dear Spider, one last time. I have to die in this strange country... just like you." (Threat)
submitted by hindsight44 (approved!)
0:00 (+3) Euron Greyjoy:
to Jaime: "There's nothing like it is there, the love of the people ... but I suppose you wouldn't know". (Witty Insult)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
0:00 (+3) Olenna Redwyne (Grandma Tyrell):
on Cersei: "She's a disease, I regret my role in spreading it. You will too." (Witty Insult)
submitted by megan.m.rabuse (approved!)
0:00 (+3) Olenna Redwyne (Grandma Tyrell):
on Joffrey Baratheon: "He really was a cunt, wasn't he?" (Funny Line)
submitted by megan.m.rabuse (approved!)
6:05 (+3) Jon Snow:
Tyrion: "She's much smarter than she lets on."
Jon: "She's starting to let on."
(Funny Line)
9:39 (+3) Davos Seaworth:
Missandei: "You stand in the presence of Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen, rightful heir to the Iron Throne, rightful Queen of the Andals and the First Men, Protector of the Seven Kingdoms, the Mother of Dragons, the Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, the Unburnt, the Breaker of Chains."
Davos: "This is Jon Snow."
(Funny Line)
12:54 (+3) Jon Snow:
Daenerys Targaryen: "Did you see three dragons flying overhead when you arrived? ... and did you see the Dothraki, all of whom have sworn to kill for me?"
Jon: "They're hard to miss."
(Funny Line)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
20:08 (+3) Harrag (actor: Brendan Cowell):
Theon Greyjoy: "I couldn't save her (Yara). I tried."
Harrag: "You wouldn't be here, if you tried."
(Witty Insult)
23:55 (+3) Euron Greyjoy:
Jaime Lannister: "...if you turn on us, they'll cheer to have your severed head mounted on a spike."
Euron: "Or yours. They just like severed heads, really."
(Threat)
24:08 (+3) Euron Greyjoy:
to Jaime: "Does she like it gentle, or rough? A finger in the bum? Shh, shh, shh, shh, not now. We'll talk later." (Funny Line)
submitted by jbornstein89 (approved!)
28:34 (+3) Cersei Lannister:
to Ellaria Sand: "Your daughter will die here in this cell, and you will be here watching when she does. You'll be here the rest of your days. If you refuse to eat, we'll force food down your throat. You will live to watch your daughter rot. To watch that beautiful face collapse - to bone and dust. All the while contemplating the choices you've made.

Make sure the guards change the torches every few hours. I don't want her to miss a thing."
(Threat)
34:07 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:
to Jon Snow: "I came down here to brood over my failure to predict the Greyjoy attack. You're making it difficult. You look a lot better brooding than I do. You make me feel like I'm failing at brooding over failing." (Funny Line)
35:40 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:
"People's minds aren't made for problems that large. White Walkers, the Night King, Army of the Dead. It's almost a relief to confront a comfortable, familiar monster like my sister." (Witty Insult)
37:50 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion: "Apparently, it can be turned into weapons that kill white walkers and their foot soldiers. Or stop them. Destroy them. Unsure about the nomenclature." (Funny Line)
38:14 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion: "I'd very much like to believe that Jon Snow is wrong. But a wise man once said that you should never believe a thing simply because you want to believe it."
Daenerys: "Which wise man said this?"
Tyrion: "I don't remember."
Daenerys: "Are you trying to present your own statements as ancient wisdom?"
Tyrion: "I would never do that."
To you.
The reason I believe Jon Snow is because he's here.
(Funny Line)
38:14 (+3) Daenerys Targaryen:
Daenerys catches Tyrion in one of his signature made-up proverbs and calls him out:

Tyrion: "I'd very much like to believe that Jon Snow is wrong. But a wise man once said that you should never believe a thing simply because you want to believe it."
Daenerys: "Which wise man said this?"
Tyrion: "I don't remember."
Daenerys: "Are you trying to present your own statements as ancient wisdom?"
(Funny Line)
submitted by jedjackoway (approved!)
43:00 (+3) Sansa Stark:
Petyr Baelish: "I know Cersei better than anyone here. If you turn your back on her-"
Sansa: "You don't know Cersei better than anyone here."
Petyr: "I only meant to say-"
Sansa: "That the woman who murdered my mother, father, and brother is dangerous? Thank you for your wise counsel."
(Witty Insult)
58:00 (+3) Olenna Redwyne (Grandma Tyrell):
Jaime Lannister: "There are always lessons in failures."
Olenna Tyrell: "Yes. You must be very wise by now."
(Witty Insult)
Episode 4: The Spoils of War
0:00 (+3) Bronn:
Jaime to Bronn: Besides think of the upkeep, the more you own the more it weighs you down.

Bronn To Jaime: Is that why you're so glum eh? All your new riches weighing you down?
(Witty Insult)
submitted by hindsight44 (approved!)
0:00 (+3) Bran Stark:
Bran interrupts Littlefinger's meddling mind games as soon as Littlefinger mentions chaos with a comeback that leaves Littlefinger speechless and his underpants soiled: "Chaos is a ladder" (Threat)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
3:55 (+3) Bronn:
to Jaime: "You've just won the biggest prize in the world, what do you possibly have to be upset about? C'mon you can tell me - the Queen of Thorns give you one last prick in the balls before saying goodbye?" (Witty Insult)
4:05 (+3) Jaime Lannister:
Bronn: "You've just won the biggest prize in the world, what do you possibly have to be upset about? C'mon you can tell me - the Queen of Thorns give you one last prick in the balls before saying goodbye?"
Jaime: "I'll save my confessions for the High Septon."
Bronn: "There is no more High Septon."
Jaime: "No, there isn't, is there?"
(Comeback)
4:57 (+3) Jaime Lannister:
to Bronn: "Ser Bronn of the Blackwater, formerly of... whatever nameless shit-heap you're from... with a saddleback full of gold, complaining about not getting paid." (Witty Insult)
12:26 (+3) Koner (actor: Joseph Quinn):
to Arya: "Look, its cold and we're busy. So you know... best fuck off." (Witty Insult)
submitted by hindsight44 (approved!)
21:02 (+3) Daenerys Targaryen:
Missandei: "Your Grace, there's still no word from the Unsullied."
Daenerys: "Soon, he (Grey Worm) will come back to you."
Missandei: "He better."
Daenerys: "What happened?"
Missandei: "Many things."
Daenerys: "... many things?" 😏
(Funny Line)
27:05 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:
Daenerys: "What kind of a Queen am I if I'm not willing to risk my life to fight them."
Tyrion: "A smart one."
(Comeback)
29:56 (+3) Arya Stark:
Brienne: "You can't use that, My Lady, it's too small." (referring to Arya's sword, Needle)
Arya: "I won't cut you, don't worry."
(Threat)
31:59 (+3) Davos Seaworth:
Davos: "What do you think of her?"
Jon: "Who?"
Davos: "I believe you know of whom I speak." πŸ™„
Jon: "I think she has a good heart."
Davos: "A good heart? I've noticed you staring at her good heart."
(Funny Line)
32:19 (+3) Davos Seaworth:
Davos corrects Jon's grammar with a classic callback from his former King, Stannis Baratheon:

Jon Snow: "How many men do we have in the North to fight him? 10,000? Less?"
Davos: "Fewer."
Jon: "What?"
(Funny Line)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
32:30 (+3) Davos Seaworth:
Missandei: "Ser Davos, Lord Snow."
Davos: "King Snow, isn't it? No, that doesn't sound right. King Jon?"
(Funny Line)
32:30 (+3) Davos Seaworth:
Missandei: "We don't have marriage in Narth, so the concept of a bastard doesn't exist."
Davos: "That sounds... liberating."
(Funny Line)
33:58 (+3) Davos Seaworth:
Missandei: "All of us who came with her from Essos, we believe in her. She's not our Queen because she's the daughter of some king we never knew. She's the Queen we chose."
Davos, to Jon Snow: "Will you forgive me if I switch sides?"
(Funny Line)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
36:44 (+3) Dickon Tarly:
Dickon: "Ser Jaime."
Jaime: "Rickon."
Dickon: "...Dickon."
Bronn: πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
(Funny Line)
submitted by kevinpetsky (approved!)
37:28 (+3) Bronn:
to Dickon Tarly: "Men shit themselves when they die, didn't they teach you that at fancy lad school?" (Witty Insult)
45:41 (+3) Qhono:
to Tyrion, as the battle becomes a rout for the Lannisters: "You're people can't fight." (Witty Insult)
submitted by garretgill (approved!)
Episode 5: Eastwatch
4:22 (+3) Bronn:
to Jaime: "Listen to me, cunt. Until I get what I'm owed, a dragon doesn't get to kill you. You don't get to kill you. Only I get to kill you." (Funny Line)
4:35 (+3) Bronn:
Jaime: "That was only one of them. She has two more. If she decides to use them, to really use them-"
Bronn: "You're fucked."
Jaime: "Don't you mean we're fucked?"
Bronn: "No, I do not."
(Funny Line)
4:45 (+3) Bronn:
Bronn: "Dragons are where our partnership ends. I'm not gonna be around when those things start spitting fire on King's Landing."
Jaime: "I have to tell Cersei."
Bronn: "May as well jump back in that river."
(Funny Line)
13:45 (+3) Cersei Lannister:
Jaime Lannister: "[Olenna's] dead, like her son, her grandchildren, her whole house. And if we don't find a way out of this war, we'll follow them."
Cersei: "So we fight and die or we submit and die. I know my choice. A soldier should know his."
(Witty Insult)
16:04 (+3) Jon Snow:
Jon and Daenerys discuss her dragons.

Daenerys: "They're beautiful, aren't they?"
Jon: "It wasn't the word I was thinking of, but... but, yes, they are. Gorgeous beasts."
(Funny Line)
20:05 (+3) Archmaester Sandhu:
on Maester Wolkan: 'The North has dulled many good maesters' wits. Hard to say whether it's the cold, the drink, or the company." (Witty Insult)
23:05 (+3) Varys:
Tyrion: "She gave Tarly a choice, a man who had taken up arms against her. What else could she do?"
Varys: "Not burn him alive alongside his son?"
(Funny Line)
24:16 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion: "Who's that (raven letter) for?"
Varys: "Jon Snow."
Tyrion: "Did you read it?"
Varys: "It's a sealed scroll for the King in the North."
...
Tyrion: "What's it say?"
(Funny Line)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
24:16 (+3) Varys:
Tyrion: "Who's that (raven letter) for?"
Varys: "Jon Snow."
Tyrion: "Did you read it?"
Varys: "It's a sealed scroll for the King in the North."
...
Tyrion: "What's it say?"
Varys: "Nothing good."
(Funny Line)
31:25 (+3) Davos Seaworth:
after smuggling Tyrion through Blackwater Bay: "There's a path to the left that hugs the cliff. The guards hardly ever patrol it. Too many steps." (Funny Line)
31:41 (+3) Davos Seaworth:
Tyrion: "What if someone takes the boat?"
Davos: "Then we're fooked. Best hurry."
(Funny Line)
31:51 (+3) Bronn:
Jaime: "We don't have time for this, we should be preparing the city for a siege. The Dothraki are coming."
Bronn: "All the more reason for you to train. Unless you plan on fighting Dothraki twelve-year-olds."
(Witty Insult)
32:04 (+3) Bronn:
Jaime: "Why (do swordfight training) down here?"
Bronn: "I don't think you want people to see how you look swinging that thing yet."
(Witty Insult)
32:52 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:
Jaime: "I once told Bronn that if I ever saw you again, I'd cut you in half."
Tyrion: "...it'll take you a while with a sparring sword."
(Funny Line)
34:48 (+3) Davos Seaworth:
to Gendry: "I wasn't sure I'd find you. Thought you might still be rowing." (Funny Line)
35:11 (+3) Davos Seaworth:
Gendry: "Aren't you worried about the Gold Cloaks?"
Davos: "Haven't been here in years. Why should they recognize me? Sometimes I hardly do.
Nothing fucks you harder than time."
(Funny Line)
37:33 (+3) Davos Seaworth:
Gold Cloaks, after already accepting Davos' bribe: "What's in the boat?
Davos: "Not more gold."
(Comeback)
37:58 (+3) Davos Seaworth:
Davos explains the goods he's smuggling in his boat.

"Fermented crab. One bucket of this triples a brothel's earnings for the week. A man thinks he's done. He's ready to go back to his loving family. But before he gets his breeches up, his lady of the hour pops a tiny spoon of that into his mouth. Five minutes later, he's back in the race."
(Funny Line)
38:32 (+3) Davos Seaworth:
to the Gold Cloaks after giving them a free sample of the fermented crab: "I'd hurry to your favorite establishment, or you'll put a hole in that chainmail." (Funny Line)
39:06 (+3) Davos Seaworth:
"I really wouldn't try any more until you see how the first bite hits you." (as the Gold Cloaks return to the boat of fermented crab to get a better look at Tyrion) (Funny Line)
39:11 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:
First Gold Cloak: "That dwarf..."
Second Gold Cloak: "Where'd you get that scar?"
Tyrion: "Fish hook. Some men you just can't teach."
(Funny Line)
39:40 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:
Davos introduces Tyrion to Gendry, who has just smashed in the heads of two investigating Gold Cloaks.

Davos: "This is Gendry."
Tyrion: "He'll do."
(Funny Line)
43:06 (+3) Gendry:
Gendry bulldozes into his introduction with Jon Snow, after Davos warns him to do the exact opposite.

Davos: "The king's got a lot on his mind."
Gendry: "I understand."
Davos: "He doesn't need to be thinking about harboring the bastard of a dead king."
Gendry: "You don't have to worry."
Davos: "You're just Clovis, a smith who's come to pay his respects before he heads off to work at the Winterfell forges."
Gendry: "Understood."
...
Davos: "Your Grace, this is Clo-"
Gendry: "Name's Gendry, Your Grace. I'm Robert Baratheon's son. Bastard son."
(Funny Line)
43:22 (+3) Gendry:
Jon Snow: "I saw your father once at Winterfell."
Gendry: "I met yours in my shop."
Jon: "You're a lot leaner."
Gendry: "And you're a lot shorter."
(Funny Line)
44:38 (+3) Davos Seaworth:
Gendry: "I owe you my life. Twice over. But if what you said is true about what's up there, I can't wait out this war."
Davos: "Yep, nobody mind me. All I've ever done is live to a ripe old age."
(Funny Line)
44:55 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:
to Jorah Mormont: "You may not believe it, but I've missed you, Mormont. Nobody glowers quite like you. Not even Grey Worm." (Witty Insult)
47:05 (+3) Samwell Tarly:
Gilly: "Guess how many windows are in the Great Sept of Baelor.
Sam: "None anymore."
(Funny Line)
47:58 (+3) Gilly:
Samwell Tarly, complaining about his menial scribing tasks: "We can all become slavering, murderous imbeciles in thrall to evil incarnate as long as we can have access to the full records of High Septon Maynard's 15,782 shits!"
Gilly: "Steps. That number was the steps."
(Funny Line)
47:58 (+3) Samwell Tarly:
Sam goes on a rant to Gilly about the order of Maesters: "We can all become slavering, murderous imbeciles in thrall to evil incarnate as long as we can have access to the full records of High Septon Maynard's 15,782 shits!" (Witty Insult)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
54:17 (+3) Tormund Giantsbane:
Tormund: "Isn't it your job to talk him out of stupid fucking ideas like this?"
Davos: "I've been failing at that job of late.
(Funny Line)
54:17 (+3) Davos Seaworth:
Tormund: "Isn't it your job to talk him out of stupid fucking ideas like this?"
Davos: "I've been failing at that job of late.
(Funny Line)
54:25 (+3) Tormund Giantsbane:
Tormund: "How many queens are there now?"
Jon Snow: "Two."
Tormund: "And you need to convince the one with the dragons or the one who fucks her brother?"
(Funny Line)
54:36 (+3) Tormund Giantsbane:
Tormund: "How many men did you bring?"
Jon: "Not enough."
Tormund: "The big woman?"
(Funny Line)
54:53 (+3) Tormund Giantsbane:
Davos: "I'll be staying behind. I'm a liability out there, as you well know."
Tormund: "You are."
(Funny Line)
56:46 (+3) Sandor Clegane (The Hound):
The Hound interrupts Beric's grand monologue.

Beric: "It doesn't matter what we think our reasons are. There's a greater purpose at work. And we serve it together, whether we know it or not. We may take the steps, but the Lord of Light-"
Hound: "For fuck's sake, will you shut your hole? Are we coming with you or not?"
(Funny Line)
Episode 6: Beyond the Wall
4:16 (+3) Jon Snow:
Tormund Giantsbane: "I can breathe again. Down south the air smells like pigshit."
Jon Snow: "You've never been down south."
Tormund: "I've been to Winterfell."
Jon: "That's the North."
(Funny Line)
4:25 (+3) Tormund Giantsbane:
Gendry: "How do you live up here? How d'you keep your balls from freezing off?"
Tormund: "You've got to keep moving, that's the secret. Walking's good, fighting's better, fucking's best."
Jon Snow: "There's not a living woman within 100 miles of here."
Tormund, eyeing Gendry: "We have to make do with what we've got."
(Funny Line)
5:06 (+3) Tormund Giantsbane:
Jon Snow: "She will only fight beside us if I bend the knee."
Tormund: "You spent too much time with the Free Folk. Now you don't like kneeling."
(Witty Insult)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
6:02 (+3) Sandor Clegane (The Hound):
Gendry recaps his ordeal after being sold to the Red Priestess Melisandre.

Gendry: "You know what she did to me? She strapped me down on the bed, she stripped me naked-"
Sandor: "Sounds alright so far."
(Funny Line)
6:22 (+3) Sandor Clegane (The Hound):
Gendry: "She wanted to kill me. And would have killed me if it weren't for-"
Sandor: "But they didn't, did they? So what you whinging about?"
Gendry: "I'm not whinging."
Sandor: "Your lips are moving and you complain about something. That's whinging. This one's been killed six times and you don't hear him bitching about it."
(Witty Insult)
14:05 (+3) Arya Stark:
to Sansa: "What would little Lyanna Mormont say? She's younger than you were when you wrote this. Are you going to say 'But I was just a child'?" (Threat)
14:20 (+3) Arya Stark:
Sansa Stark: "You're angry. Sometimes anger makes people do unfortunate things."
Arya: "Sometimes fear makes them do unfortunate things. I'll go with anger."
(Comeback)
15:18 (+3) Tormund Giantsbane:
Tormund: "Were your born mean, or you just hate Wildlings?"
Sandor Clegane: "I could not give two shits about Wildlings. Gingers, I hate."
Tormund: "Gingers are beautiful. Kissed by fire."
(Funny Line)
15:41 (+3) Tormund Giantsbane:
Sandor Clegane: "You want to suck my dick, is that it?"
Tormund: "Dick?"
Sandor: "Cock."
Tormund: "Ah, dick. I like it."
(Funny Line)
15:42 (+3) Sandor Clegane (The Hound):
Sandor: "You want to suck my dick, is that it?"
Tormund Giantsbane: "Dick?"
Sandor: "Cock."
Tormund: "Ah, dick. I like it."
Sandor: "Bet you do.
(Funny Line)
16:18 (+3) Tormund Giantsbane:
Sandor Clegane: "You're with Brienne of fucking Tarth?"
Tormund: "Well, not with her yet. But I see the way she looks at me."
Sandor: "How does she look at you? Like she wants to carve you up and eat your liver?"
Tormund: "You do know her."
(Funny Line)
16:29 (+3) Tormund Giantsbane:
Tormund: "I want to make babies with her - think of them. Great big monsters. They'd conquer the world." (Funny Line)
submitted by Laxis (approved!)
16:30 (+3) Sandor Clegane (The Hound):
Tormund: "I want to make babies with her - think of them. Great big monsters. They'd conquer the world."
Sandor: "How did a mad fucker like you live this long?"
(Funny Line)
19:43 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:
Daenerys: "Jon Snow is not in love with me."
Tyrion: "Oh, my mistake. I suppose he stares at you longingly because he's hopeful for a successful military alliance."
(Funny Line)
23:47 (+3) Daenerys Targaryen:
Tyrion Lannister: "I'm trying to serve you by planning for the long term."
Daenerys: "Perhaps if you'd planned for the short term, we wouldn't have lost Dorne and Highgarden."
(Witty Insult)
29:15 (+3) Sansa Stark:
on the Northern lords: "Yes, they turned their backs on Jon when it was time to retake Winterfell, and then they named him their King, and now they're ready to turn their backs on him again. How far would you trust men like that? They're all bloody wind vanes." (Witty Insult)
30:45 (+3) Thoros of Myr:
Jorah Mormont: "Something I've always wanted to know ... How drunk were you when you charged through the breach on Pyke?"
Thoros: "If I'm being honest, I don't remember charging through the breach. Some of the lads told me about it the next morning. Sounded like a good scrap."
(Funny Line)
31:11 (+3) Thoros of Myr:
Jorah Mormont: "The Ironborn thought you were some kind of god. The way you were waving that flaming sword. I thought you were the bravest man I ever saw."
Thoros: "Just the drunkest."
(Funny Line)
59:15 (+3) Sandor Clegane (The Hound):
Beric Dondarrion, as they part ways at Eastwatch: "We'll meet again, Clegane."
Sandor: "Fucking hope not."
(Funny Line)
62:16 (+3) Arya Stark:
Sansa Stark: " I have hundreds of men here at Winterfell, all loyal to me."
Arya: "They're not here now."
(Threat)
64:41 (+3) Arya Stark:
to Sansa: "Neither of us got to be the other person, did we? The world doesn't just let girls decide what they are going to be. But I can now. With the faces I can choose. I can become someone else. Speak in their voice, live in their skin. I can even become you. I wonder what it would feel like to wear those pretty dresses. To be the Lady of Winterfell. All I'd need to find out is your face." (Threat)
Episode 7: The Dragon and the Wolf
4:44 (+3) Bronn:
Bronn and Jaime discuss the Unsullied army standing outside the gates of King's Landing.

Bronn: "Men without cocks. You wouldn't find me fighting in an army if I had no cock. What's left to fight for?"
Jaime: "Gold?"
Bronn: "I spent my life around soldiers. What do you think they spend that gold on?"
Jaime: "Family."
Bronn: "Not without a cock, you don't."
(Funny Line)
5:04 (+3) Jaime Lannister:
Bronn and Jaime discuss the Unsullied army standing outside the gates of King's Landing.

Bronn: "Men without cocks. You wouldn't find me fighting in an army if I had no cock. What's left to fight for?"
Jaime: "Gold?"
Bronn: "I spent my life around soldiers. What do you think they spend that gold on?"
Jaime: "Family."
Bronn: "Not without a cock, you don't."
Jaime: "Maybe it really is all cocks in the end"
(Funny Line)
submitted by kevinpetsky (approved!)
7:44 (+3) Cersei Lannister:
briefing Gregor Clegane in Jaime's presence: "If anything goes wrong, kill the silver-haired bitch first, then our brother, then the bastard who calls himself King. The rest of them you can kill in any order you see fit." (Threat)
submitted by hindsight44 (approved!)
9:28 (+3) Bronn:
Bronn breaks up the Podrick and Tyrion reunion

Podrick: "I never thought I'd see you again, my lord."
Tyrion: "Supporting the enemy, no less."
Podrick: "Hard to blame you."
Tyrion: 'Cersei will anyway."
Podrick: "I'm glad you're alive."
Bronn: "Come on. You can suck his magic cock later."
(Witty Insult)
11:17 (+3) Bronn:
Tyrion Lannister: "Are you? Helping me to arrange this meeting wasn't exactly looking after yourself, was it? You put yourself at risk."
Bronn: "I put yourself at risk. Important difference. It's your head Queen Cersei's offered a bag of gold for, it's not mine. Now, thanks to me, she's got two traitors' heads coming right through her door. She can lop them both off as soon as she gets tired of the clever words that pour out their pieholes. All thanks to Ser Bronn of the fucking Blackwater. If that's not looking after myself, I don't know what is."
(Threat)
submitted by hindsight44 (approved!)
13:40 (+3) Sandor Clegane (The Hound):
Sandor Clegane: "Am I going to die in this shit city?"
Tyrion Lanniser: "You might."
Sandor: "And this is all your idea. Seems every bad idea has some Lannister cunt behind it."
(Witty Insult)
13:55 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:
Sandor Clegane: "Am I going to die in this shit city?"
Tyrion Lanniser: "You might."
Sandor: "And this is all your idea. Seems every bad idea has some Lannister cunt behind it."
Tyrion: "And some Clegane cunt to help them see it through."
(Witty Insult)
14:57 (+3) Sandor Clegane (The Hound):
to Gregor Clegane: "Remember me? Yeah, you do. You're even fucking uglier than I am now. What did they do to you? Doesn't matter. That's not how it ends for you, brother. You know who's coming for you. You've always known." (Threat)
18:06 (+3) Euron Greyjoy:
Tyrion: "I think we ought to begin with larger concerns."
Euron: "Then why are you talking? You're the smallest concern here."
(Witty Insult)
18:24 (+3) Euron Greyjoy:
to Tyrion: "We don't even let your kind live in the Iron Islands, you know? We kill you at birth. An act of mercy for the parents." (Witty Insult)
19:45 (+3) Cersei Lannister:
Jon Snow: "Lord Tyrion tells me a million people live in this city. They're about to become a million more soldiers in the Army of the Dead."
Cersei: "I imagine for most of them it would be an improvement."
(Comeback)
27:06 (+3) Cersei Lannister:
after Jon Snow rejects her offer of truce: "Then there is nothing left to discuss. The dead will come north first. Enjoy dealing with them. We will deal with whatever is left of you." (Threat)
28:21 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:
to Jon Snow: "I'm pleased you bent the knee to our Queen. I would have advised it, had you asked. But have you ever considered learning how to lie every now and then? Just a bit?!?" (Witty Insult)
28:49 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:
Jon: "Talk about my father if you want, tell me that's the attitude that got him killed. But when enough people make false promises, words stop meaning anything. Then there are no more answers, only better and better lies. And lies won't help us in this fight."
Tyrion: "That is indeed a problem. The more immediate problem is that we're fucked."
(Funny Line)
29:23 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:
Jon Snow: "I did this. I should go."
Tyrion: "She'll definitely murder you."
(Funny Line)
32:02 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:
Cersei: "I shouldn't be surprised, I suppose. She's your kind of woman: a foreign whore who doesn't know her place."
Tyrion: "A foreign whore you can't abduct, beat, or intimidate. That must be difficult for you."
(Witty Insult)
56:26 (+3) Arya Stark:
Sansa Stark: "You stand accused of murder. You stand accused of treason. How do you answer these charges... Lord Baelish?"
Petyr Baelish: "...😦"
Arya: "My sister asked you a question."
(Threat)
61:07 (+3) Cersei Lannister:
Cersei: "What are you doing?"
Jaime: "Preparing the expedition north."
Cersei: "Expedition north? I always knew you were the stupidest Lannister."
(Witty Insult)
67:52 (+3) Samwell Tarly:
Sam: "What happened to you beyond the Wall?"
Bran Stark: "I became the Three-Eyed Raven."
Sam: "Ohhh! ...I don't know what that means."
(Funny Line)
Acts of Intercourse
Episode 2: Stormborn
26:17 (+5) Grey Worm :
Grey Worm kisses Missandei after confessing that she is his one weakness. (Act of Intercourse)
26:45 (+25) Missandei:
Missandei gets with Grey Worm on the very last night before he sails off for Casterly Rock. (Act of Intercourse)
28:00 (+10) Grey Worm :
Grey Worm gets with Missandei on the very last night before he sails off for Casterly Rock. (Act of Intercourse)
Episode 3: The Queen's Justice
30:10 (+20) Jaime Lannister:
Jaime gets his trousers dropped as Cersei is feeling extra thirsty after another exhilarating session of dungeon torturing her enemies. (Act of Intercourse)
30:30 (+40) Cersei Lannister:
Cersei throws off the bed sheets to reveal herself in the morning after a night with Jaime. (Act of Intercourse)
Episode 7: The Dragon and the Wolf
61:12 (+10) Daenerys Targaryen:
Daenerys invites Jon Snow into her room so that he can properly bend the knee. (Act of Intercourse)
61:12 (+10) Jon Snow:
Jon Snow's ignites his latent Targaryen instincts to incest with his aunt Daenerys aboard her ship as they sail for White Harbor. (Act of Intercourse)
Glasses of Wine Consumed
Episode 1: Dragonstone
20:52 (+5) Cersei Lannister:
Cersei takes a sip from the glass while discussing the failed alliance with the Freys after Walder's assassination. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
39:05 (+5) Arya Stark:
Arya shares in some blackberry wine offered by the camp of Lannister soldiers. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Episode 2: Stormborn
31:39 (+5) Samwell Tarly:
Samwell takes a hearty swig of the rum he gives to Jorah, before attempting the Greyscale surgery. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
31:45 (+5) Jorah Mormont:
Jorah drinks the rum given to him by Samwell, as he braces himself to undergo the experimental Greyscale procedure. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
35:49 (+5) Arya Stark:
Arya goes for the ale after Hot Pie probes further into what she's been up to. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
48:08 (+5) Obara Sand:
Obara drinks in her hammock below deck, as the Sand Sisters argue over who they will kill in King's Landing. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
48:30 (+5) Ellaria Sand:
Ellaria tries out the beverages stocked by the Greyjoy fleet. "How can you drink this piss? When we reach Sunspear I'll treat you to a Dornish Red, the best in the world." (Glass of Wine Consumed)
48:33 (+5) Theon Greyjoy:
Theon drinks with Yara and Ellaria Sand below deck as they sail for Sunspear. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
48:33 (+5) Yara Greyjoy:
Yara drinks with Theon and Ellaria Sand below deck as they sail for Sunspear. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Episode 3: The Queen's Justice
28:15 (+5) Cersei Lannister:
Cersei downs a shot of Long Farewell antidote after poisoning Tyene Sand with a kiss. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
29:27 (+5) Jaime Lannister:
Jaime takes a drink in Cersei's chambers as we all try to collectively erase the imagery of Euron sticking Cersei with the pointy end. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
31:24 (+5) Cersei Lannister:
Cersei drinks while discussing the Iron Throne's debt payments with Tycho Nestoris, a representative of the Iron Bank. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
61:05 (+5) Olenna Redwyne (Grandma Tyrell):
Olenna drinks the glass of poisoned wine provided by Jaime, after the Tyrells are defeated at Highgarden.

Olenna: "Will there be pain?"
Jaime: "No, I made sure of that."
Olenna: "That's good."
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
Episode 4: The Spoils of War
6:40 (+5) Cersei Lannister:
Cersei drinks while discussing the delivery of Tyrell gold to Tycho Nestoris of the Iron Bank. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Episode 5: Eastwatch
23:03 (+5) Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion drinks while discussing the burning of the Tarlys with Varys. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
23:32 (+5) Varys:
Varys takes Tyrion wine cup and downs it while recollecting his days as the Mad Kind Aerys' adviser.

"I found the traitors, but I wasn't the one burning them alive. I was only a purveyor of information. It's what I told myself when I watched them beg for mercy - I'm not the one doing it. When the pitch of their screams rose higher - I'm not the one doing it. When their hair caught fire and the smell of their burning flesh filled the throne room - I'm not the one doing it."
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
24:11 (+5) Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion drinks from the refill after Varys finishes off the cup of wine he was originally drinking. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
58:03 (+5) Thoros of Myr:
Thoros gives a glance back to the Hound as he takes a swig from his flask. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Episode 6: Beyond the Wall
6:37 (+5) Gendry:
Gendry takes the wineskin offered by Thoros after the Hound shuts down his "whinging". (Glass of Wine Consumed)
20:15 (+5) Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion drinks while talking with Daenerys in Dragonstone. (Glass of Wine Consumed)