Tyrion Lannister

LG Alums & Friends GoT S5

drafted by Jorah the Explorah!

+1 point each time he is denied a drink
+1 point whenever he physically gives someone a coin (or other legal tender)

Raw Stats

Total Kills Insults Intercourse Wine Politics Deaths Special Warm/Fuzzy
121 3 54 0 55 9 0 0 0

Event Log

Kills
Episode 7: The Gift
28:30 (+1) Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion beats a slave trader with the chain from his collar, to prove his worth to the slave trader Yezzan zo Qaggaz. (Major Injury of Unnamed Character)
Episode 9: The Dance of Dragons
45:39 (+2) Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion picks a dagger up from the ground and slits the throat of a Son of the Harpy who attempts to attack Missandei. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Insults Delivered / Funny Lines
Episode 1: The Wars to Come
14:19 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:
“Are you a lord if you kill your father? I don’t imagine they revoke your nobility for killing a whore, it must happen all the time.” (Funny Line)
35:00 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:
Varys: "There are faster ways to kill yourself."
Tyrion: "Not for a coward."
(Funny Line)
37:31 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:
Varys: "You have a choice, my friend. You can stay here at Illyrio’s palace and drink yourself to death or you can ride with me to Meereen, meet Daenerys Targaryen and decide if the world is worth fighting for."
Tyrion: "Can I drink myself to death on the road to Meereen?"
(Funny Line)
Episode 2: The House of Black and White
27:30 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:
Varys: "Cersei has offered a lordship to the man who brings her your head."
Tyrion: "She ought to offer her cunt. Best part of her for the best part of me."
(Witty Insult)
27:43 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:
Varys: "Are we really going to spend the entire road to Volantis talking about the futility of everything?"
Tyrion: "You're right, no point."
(Funny Line)
Episode 3: The High Sparrow
54:54 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:
Brothel bouncer: "It's good luck to rub a dwarf's head."
Tyrion: "It's even better luck to suck a dwarf's cock."
*flustered Varys*
(Funny Line)
submitted by wpearsal (approved!)
56:05 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:
to Varys: "I need to talk to someone with hair." (Witty Insult)
Episode 4: The Sons of the Harpy
39:08 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:
"MRPPHM MRPPPHM MPRMPRPHM MPRPHPM MPRPRHPHMMM MMHRRM MPHRRM... thank you." (Funny Line)
Episode 5: Kill the Boy
47:40 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:
to Jorah Mormont: "Long, sullen silences and the occasional punch in the face. The Mormont way." (Witty Insult)
Episode 6: Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken
21:27 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion: "You can't just hand a dried cock to a merchant and expect him to pay for it! He has to know it came from a dwarf. And how could he know unless he sees the dwarf?"
Slave trader: "It will be a dwarf-sized cock."
Tyrion: "Guess again."
(Funny Line)
Episode 8: Hardhome
2:24 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:
"I killed my mother... on the day I was born. I killed my father, Tywin Lannister, with a bolt to the heart. I am the greatest Lannister killer of all time." (Funny Line)
20:27 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:
"Someday, if you decide not to execute me, I'll tell you all about why I killed my father. And on that day, should it ever come, we'll need more wine than this." (Funny Line)
21:25 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:
"My own sister married someone she loathed as well, though not by choice and certainly not for the greater good, Gods forbid." (Witty Insult)
Episode 9: The Dance of Dragons
38:21 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:
Hizdahr zo Loraq: "You don't approve (of the fighting pits)?"
Tyrion: "There's always been more than enough death in the world for my taste. I can do without it in my leisure time."
(Funny Line)
38:56 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:
Hizdahr zo Loraq, as the dead pit fighter is dragged away: "That... is a vital part of the great city of Meereen, which existed long before you or I, and will remain standing long after we have returned to the dirt."
Tyrion: "My father would have liked you."
(Witty Insult)
39:36 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:
to Hizdahr zo Loraq: "Well said. You're an eloquent man. Doesn't mean you're wrong. In my experience, eloquent men are right every bit as often as imbeciles." (Witty Insult)
Episode 10: Mother's Mercy
32:06 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:
to Missandei: "Apologies. My Valyrian is a bit nostril." (Funny Line)
33:36 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:
Daario: "So mainly you talk."
Tyrion: "And drink. I've survived so far."
(Witty Insult)
Glasses of Wine Consumed
Episode 1: The Wars to Come
13:59 (+15) Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion downs 3 cups of wine after getting out of that fucking crate, before puking over all the rugs in Ilyrio's palace. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
15:04 (+5) Tyrion Lannister:
After vomiting his previous three drinks onto the floor of Ilyrio's palace, Tyrion refills and goes for another. Boot 'n rally! (Glass of Wine Consumed)
35:01 (+10) Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion drinks away his misery with two glasses of wine on the balcony of Ilyrio's palace. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Episode 2: The House of Black and White
27:20 (+5) Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion drinks a glass of wine inside that fucking box. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Episode 3: The High Sparrow
52:53 (+5) Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion drinks from a flask while walking through a market in Volantis. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
55:49 (+5) Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion drinks at the whorehouse in Volantis. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Episode 8: Hardhome
20:13 (+5) Tyrion Lannister:
drinks while speaking with Daenerys in her chambers. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
22:45 (+5) Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion drinks his refilled cup while speaking with Daenerys in her chambers. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Political Wins
Episode 4: The Sons of the Harpy
40:55 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion figures out that his captor is Jorah Mormont, and deduces the backstory behind their falling out. "A highborn knight from the North of Westeros, down on his luck in Essos. Dragon epaulets, bear sigil breastplate. You're Jorah Mormont." (Politics (to be categorized))
Episode 6: Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken
21:27 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion convinces the slave trader Malko to spare his life for the time being, instead of slitting his throat and chopping off his cock. "You can't just hand a dried cock to a merchant and expect him to pay for it! He has to know it came from a dwarf. And how could he know unless he sees the dwarf?" (Politics (to be categorized))
Episode 8: Hardhome
5:58 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion convinces Daenerys to spare Jorah Mormont, and banish him from the city of Meereeen instead. "A ruler who kills those devoted to her is not a ruler who inspires devotion. And you're going to need to inspire devotion, a lot of it, if you're ever going to rule across the Narrow Sea. But you cannot have him by your side when you do." (Politics (to be categorized))