Boobies and Bastards

Shaw Of Thrones

Owner: marcelcdn

7-3, 36 roto pts (#2)
Z-Score: 0.694 (percentile: 75.6%)
Weeks at #1: 5
Categories won: Acts of Intercourse (25)
Best Week: Episode 3: Oathbreaker (+4 roto points)
Team MVP: Jon Snow (picked #6, 185 points, 42.63% of team total)
Longest winstreak: W-4

Roster Stats

Character Drafted Total Kills Politics Insults Wine Sex Thrones Deaths Special Feels
The bastard son of Ned Stark, and the current Lord Commander of the Night's Watch. After guiding the Wildlings to safety in the aftermath of the Battle of Castle Black and the attack on Hardhome, he was betrayed by a mutiny of the Night's Watch, and left for dead in the snow.
#6 185 85 42 12 5 5 0 0 36 0
The second eldest of the Stark children. Sansa has spent many of her past years as prisoner to the Lannisters and more recently, House Bolton, the new Warden of the North. Currently she is married to Ramsay, the heir of House Bolton, who keeps her imprisoned in Winterfell and tortures her sadistically. During the Bolton battle against Stannis Baratheon's forces, Sansa escapes over the Winterfell walls with the help of Theon Greyjoy, and the two make their way as far from the Boltons as possible. She is a huge fan of lemon cakes.
#7 54 10 18 18 5 0 0 0 3 0
A disciple in the House of Black & White. Her real identity is unknown, as she is one of the many identities used by the Faceless Men in their work.
#31 38 27 0 0 0 0 0 11 0 0
First Ranger of the Night's Watch - in S1 he disappeared on a ranging north of the Wall and his whereabouts since then are unknown.
#38 30 16 0 0 0 0 0 14 0 0
A Red Priestess from Asshai, Melisandre served as a close advisor to Stannis Baratheon until she abandoned his cause at the Battle of Winterfell against the Boltons.
#18 29 0 6 3 0 20 0 0 0 0
Lord of House Bolton, and Warden of the North after his betrayal of Robb Stark at the Red Wedding. He is the father of Ramsay Bolton, who is his legitimized bastard son.
#42 28 0 6 9 0 0 0 10 3 0
The long-deceased head of House Stark. There are rumors that he may make a reappearance in flashback form for S6.
- 23 20 3 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
A member of the Night's Watch, and one of Jon Snow's few friends on the Wall.
- 17 0 6 6 5 0 0 0 0 0
Heir to the Iron Islands, and formerly a ward of House Stark. Theon has been broken through torture by the hands of Ramsay Bolton, but has escaped Winterfell along with Sansa Stark during the chaos of the Battle of Winterfell.
#19 16 2 0 0 5 0 0 0 9 0
The eldest child of Howland Reed, bannerman to the Starks. She and Bran have arrived at the cave of the Three-eyed Raven.
#30 14 14 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Howland Reed, head of House Reed and a Stark bannerman in the times of King Aerys II and Rhaegar Targaryen.
- 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
A cousin to the Lannister children. In a past life he was a stuttering servant to King Robert Baratheon and secret consort to his cousin Queen Cersei Lannister. Lancel now serves as a leading member of the Sparrows, a dangerously militant religious group whose power over King's Landing is growing.
#43 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Totals 434 174 81 48 20 25 0 35 51 0

Roster

charId Character Special
39
The bastard son of Ned Stark, and the current Lord Commander of the Night's Watch. After guiding the Wildlings to safety in the aftermath of the Battle of Castle Black and the attack on Hardhome, he was betrayed by a mutiny of the Night's Watch, and left for dead in the snow.
* +1 each time he unintentionally drops Longclaw
* +1 point each time he is called a bastard in his presence
* Ghost's actions contribute to his points.
5
The second eldest of the Stark children. Sansa has spent many of her past years as prisoner to the Lannisters and more recently, House Bolton, the new Warden of the North. Currently she is married to Ramsay, the heir of House Bolton, who keeps her imprisoned in Winterfell and tortures her sadistically. During the Bolton battle against Stannis Baratheon's forces, Sansa escapes over the Winterfell walls with the help of Theon Greyjoy, and the two make their way as far from the Boltons as possible. She is a huge fan of lemon cakes.
* Lady's actions contribute to her points.
* +1 point in every scene she cries
52
A Red Priestess from Asshai, Melisandre served as a close advisor to Stannis Baratheon until she abandoned his cause at the Battle of Winterfell against the Boltons.
* +1 point for mentioning that "the night is dark and full of terrors" * +1 each time she mentions a vision she sees in the flames
61
Heir to the Iron Islands, and formerly a ward of House Stark. Theon has been broken through torture by the hands of Ramsay Bolton, but has escaped Winterfell along with Sansa Stark during the chaos of the Battle of Winterfell.
+1 point for scenes where Theon refers to himself as "Reek"
+1 point when his missing manhood is referenced
13
The eldest child of Howland Reed, bannerman to the Starks. She and Bran have arrived at the cave of the Three-eyed Raven.
+1 every time she transports Bran
1
The long-deceased head of House Stark. There are rumors that he may make a reappearance in flashback form for S6.
2x points for mentions that "Winter is coming"
+1 point each time he brandishes his greatsword, Ice
3
First Ranger of the Night's Watch - in S1 he disappeared on a ranging north of the Wall and his whereabouts since then are unknown.
251
Howland Reed, head of House Reed and a Stark bannerman in the times of King Aerys II and Rhaegar Targaryen.
Kills
Episode 1: The Red Woman
Theon stabs a Bolton soldier through the back while he is battling Podrick Payne. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Episode 3: Oathbreaker
Ned stabs the Targaryen Kingsguard, Gerold Hightower, through the throat. (Kill of Named Character)
An injured Howland comes to Ned's aid, stabbing Ser Arthur Dayne through the back of his neck. (Major Injury of Named Character)
Ned finishes off the mortally-wounded Targaryen Kingsguard Arthur Dayne. (Kill of Named Character)
49:19 (+40) Jon Snow:
Jon cuts the rope holding the gallows platform at Castle Black, executing Ser Alliser Thorne, Bowen Marsh, Othell Yarwyck, and Olly for their roles in the plot to assassinate him. (Kill of Named Character)
Episode 5: The Door
Meera cuts down the first wight to fall into the cave through the weirwood root system. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Meera cuts down a wight as it charges through the cavern tunnels shortly after Bran wargs into Hodor. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
50:53 (+10) Meera Reed:
Meera throws a dragonglass spear at the bearded White Walker, piercing it in the neck and shattering it. (Kill of Named Character)
Episode 6: Blood of My Blood
Benjen's horse stomps through a wight's chest as he rides in to Meera and Bran's rescue. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Benjen uses his flaming flail to knock out two wights. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Benjen sideswipes a wight into a tree, and kills two more with his pickaxe, and sets the last wight on fire with his flaming flail. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Benjen decapitates the head of a rabbit he has just hunted. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Episode 9: Battle of the Bastards
39:07 (+2) Jon Snow:
After stumbling between the charging cavalry forces in a daze, Jon scores his first kill, knocking a Bolton soldier off his horse and then finishing him off on the ground. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
39:10 (+12) Jon Snow:
Jon cuts down six more soldiers on the battlefield as he dodges charging cavalry and arrow barrages streaming from the sky. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
40:17 (+6) Jon Snow:
Jon cuts down 3 more Bolton soldiers in between arrow barrages from Ramsay's archers. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
40:38 (+8) Jon Snow:
Jon cuts down 4 more Bolton soldiers as the mounds of bodies begin to pile up on the battlefield. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
41:43 (+2) Jon Snow:
Jon slits the throat of a Bolton soldier shortly after Davos and Smalljon Umber charge into the fray. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
43:34 (+2) Jon Snow:
Jon stabs through a Bolton soldier as his forces attempt to break through the encircling Bolton army. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
43:54 (+4) Jon Snow:
Jon Snow cuts down two more Bolton soldiers. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
44:19 (+2) Jon Snow:
Jon cuts down another Bolton soldier. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
45:18 (+2) Jon Snow:
Jon uses a spin move to dodge and cut down a Bolton soldier from behind. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
52:21 (+5) Jon Snow:
After the Stark forces breach the Winterfell walls, Ramsay challenges Jon to single combat: "You suggested one-on-one combat, didn't you? I've reconsidered. I think that sounds like a wonderful idea."

Jon blocks all three of Ramsay's longbow shots with a Mormont shield, and finally moves in close enough to Ramsay to pummel him into the ground.
(Major Injury of Named Character)
Sansa feeds the imprisoned Ramsay to his own hounds.

Ramsay: "My hounds will never harm me."
Sansa: "You haven't fed them in seven days. You said it yourself."
Ramsay: "They're loyal beasts."
Sansa: "They were. Now they're starving."
(Kill of Named Character)
Political Wins
Episode 1: The Red Woman
Given a redo, Lady Sansa finally accepts Brienne of Tarth into her service as a knight.
Brienne: "Lady Sansa, I offer my services once again. I will shield your back and keep your counsel and give my life for yours if need be. I swear it, by the Old Gods and the New."
Sansa: "And I vow... that you shall always have a place by my... hearth. and..."
Podrick assist" Meat and mead at my table."
Sansa: "...meat and mead at my table. And I pledge to ask no service of you that might bring you dishonor. I swear it by the Old Gods and the New. Arise."
(New Follower/Prisoner)
Episode 2: Home
Melisandre invokes her pleas to the Lord of Light in an attempt to resurrect Jon Snow. After several minutes and of killing the hopes of everyone in the room, Jon is left alone and suddenly awakes, gasping for breath. God damn lag. (New Follower/Prisoner)
submitted by jfarmz (approved!)
Episode 3: Oathbreaker
46:38 (+3) Jon Snow:
Jon Snow reclaims Longclaw from his desk, after its ownership briefly transferred to Davos Seaworth during his death. (New Weapon)
Episode 4: Book of the Stranger
7:29 (+3) Jon Snow:
Melisandre becomes the latest devotee to the Jon Snow Fan Club.
Davos Seaworth: "Will you stay here at Castle Black?"
Melisandre: "I will do as Jon Snow commands."
Davo: "You serve Jon Snow now?"
Melisandre: "He is the Prince that was Promised."
(New Follower/Prisoner)
Sansa convinces Jon to rally the Wildling armies and march on Winterfell.

"You are the son of the last true Warden of the North. Northern families are loyal. They'll fight for you if you ask. A monster has taken our home and our brother. We have to go back to Winterfell and save them both."
(Convincing Argument)
Episode 5: The Door
Sansa learns of the re-emergence of the Blackfish and the Tully army. "Your great-uncle, Brynden the Blackfish, has gathered what remains of the Tully forces and retaken Riverrun. (Secret Discovery)
Episode 7: The Broken Man
14:15 (+3) Jon Snow:
Wun Weg Wun Dar Wun: "Snow." (New Follower/Prisoner)
Lyanna Mormont pledges her house to Jon Snow's fighting forces: "House Mormont has kept faith with House Stark for a thousand years... We will not break faith today." (New Follower/Prisoner)
submitted by cmwalken15 (approved!)
27:11 (+3) Jon Snow:
Lyanna Mormont pledges her house to Jon Snow's fighting forces: "House Mormont has kept faith with House Stark for a thousand years... We will not break faith today." (New Follower/Prisoner)
Episode 9: Battle of the Bastards
Sansa retakes Winterfell for House Stark after defeating Ramsay Bolton and the rest of the Bolton army. (Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
submitted by xdwxrd (approved!)
53:00 (+3) Jon Snow:
After Wun Wun single-handedly breaks down the Winterfell gates, Jon Snow and his forces storm in, killing the remaining garrison of Bolton soldiers and defeating Ramsay Bolton. (Victorious Battle)
53:00 (+3) Jon Snow:
Jon retakes Winterfell for House Stark after defeating Ramsay Bolton and the rest of the Bolton army. (Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
54:23 (+3) Jon Snow:
After being defeated in one-on-one combat, Ramsay is imprisoned in the kennels of Winterfell. (New Follower/Prisoner)
Episode 10: The Winds of Winter
Littlefinger pledges his support of House Stark to Sansa Stark. "News of this battle will spread quickly through the Seven Kingdoms. I've declared for House Stark for all to hear." (New Follower/Prisoner)
submitted by xdwxrd (approved!)
Melisandre admits to sacrificing Shireen after being exposed by Davos Seaworth, but manages to convince Jon Snow to spare her in the face of the looming White Walker threat.

Melisandre: "I've been ready to die for many years. If the Lord was done with me, so be it, but he's not. You've seen the Night King, Jon Snow. You know the great war is still to come. You know the army of the dead will be upon us soon. And you know I can help you win that war."
Jon Snow: "Ride south today. If you return to the North, I'll have you hanged as a murderer."
(Convincing Argument)
submitted by mg.flanigan11 (approved!)
35:33 (+3) Jon Snow:
After Davos reveals that Melisandre had burned Princess Shireen at the stake and asks permission to execute her, Jon Snow elects the middle route and excommunicates her from the North. "Ride south today. If you return to the North, I'll have you hanged as a murderer." (Executive Decision)
A dying Lyanna Stark entrusts her newborn baby Jon Snow to her brother Ned. "You have to protect him. Promise me, Ned." (New Follower/Prisoner)
59:43 (+9) Jon Snow:
The Northern Lords Madnerly, Glover, Cerwyn declare their allegiance for Jon Snow as the King in the North.

Lord Wyman Manderly: "Lady Mormont speaks harshly, and truly ... I didn't think we'd find another king in my lifetime. I didn't commit my men to your cause, 'cause I didn't want more Manderly's dying for nothing. But I was wrong. Jon Snow avenged the Red Wedding. He is the White Wolf. The King in the North."

Lord Robett Glover: "I did not fight beside you on the field and I will regret that until my dying day. A man can only admit when he was wrong and ask forgiveness ... There will be more fights to come. House Glover will stand behind House Stark as we have for a thousand years. And I will stand behind Jon Snow. The King in the North!"
(New Follower/Prisoner)
61:13 (+3) Jon Snow:
Jon gains the allegiance of Lord Yohn Royce of the Vale, as he and the Northern lords declare Jon as King in the North. (New Follower/Prisoner)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
61:17 (+3) Jon Snow:
Davos Seaworth rises with the other Northern lords in declaring their allegiance to Jon Snow as the King in the North. (New Follower/Prisoner)
61:25 (+3) Jon Snow:
After Lyanna Mormont's rousing speech, the Northern lords declare for Jon Snow as the new King in the North.

Lyanna Mormont: "But House Mormont remembers. The North remembers. We know no king but the King in the North whose name is Stark. I don't care if he's a bastard. Ned Stark's blood runs through his veins. He's my king from this day until his last day."
(New Title)
Insults Delivered / Funny Lines
Episode 3: Oathbreaker
7:25 (+3) Jon Snow:
Edd: "Your eyes are still brown. Is that still you in there?"
Jon: "I think so. Hold off on burning my body for now."
(Funny Line)
submitted by moonbaseu92 (approved!)
Episode 4: Book of the Stranger
2:16 (+3) Jon Snow:
Edd: "Where you gonna go?"
Jon Snow: "South."
Edd: "What you gonna do?"
Jon: "Get warm?"
(Funny Line)
5:45 (+3) Jon Snow:
after Sansa tastes the finest from Castle Black Brewery: "You'd think after thousands of years, the Night's Watch would have learned how to make a good ale." (Funny Line)
submitted by kremershell (approved!)
Episode 5: The Door
to Littlefinger: "Did you know about Ramsay? If you didn't know you're an idiot. If you did know, you're my enemy." (Witty Insult)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
to Littlefinger: "You said you would protect me... I don't believe you anymore... You can't protect me. You won't even be able to protect yourself if I tell Brienne to cut you down." (Threat)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Episode 7: The Broken Man
to Jon: "So [Davos Seaworth] is your most trusted advisor now? Because he secured 62 men from a 10-year-old?" (Witty Insult)
Jon: "Ser Davos is the reason I'm standing here talking to you and he served Stannis for years."
Sansa: "Stannis... who lost the Blackwater, who murdered his own brother, who doesn't have a head?"
(Witty Insult)
Episode 9: Battle of the Bastards
Jon Snow: "Any advice?"
Melisandre: "Don't lose."
(Funny Line)
submitted by mg.flanigan11 (approved!)
to Ramsay: "Your words will disappear. Your house will disappear. Your name will disappear. All memory of you will disappear." (Threat)
Episode 10: The Winds of Winter
38:05 (+3) Jon Snow:
Sansa: "A raven came from the Citadel. A white raven. Winter is here."
Jon: "Well, father always promised."
(Funny Line)
submitted by cfitzgerald (approved!)
Petyr Baelish: "Every time I'm faced with a decision, I close my eyes and see the same picture. Whenever I consider an action, I ask myself will this action help to make this picture a reality? ... A picture of me on the Iron Throne... and you by my side."
Sansa: "It's a pretty picture."
(Witty Insult)
Glasses of Wine Consumed
Episode 4: Book of the Stranger
Sansa steals away Jon's mug of ale before he can even take an on-screen sip. Jon gets the last laugh as she coughs it back up. "You'd think after thousands of years, the Night's Watch would have learned how to make a good ale." (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Episode 7: The Broken Man
Yara forces Theon to drink while the fleet is docked.
Theon: "I don't want any."
Yara: "I don't care what you want. Drink."
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
Episode 9: Battle of the Bastards
17:55 (+5) Jon Snow:
Jon takes a sip of wine when discussing battle strategy with Sansa after everyone else has left the roundtable (Glass of Wine Consumed)
submitted by as38 (approved!)
Acts of Intercourse
Episode 1: The Red Woman
46:53 (+20) Melisandre:
Melisandre removes her ruby necklace as she strips down to her true form in front of the mirror. (Non-sexual Nude Scene)
Episode 3: Oathbreaker
2:24 (+5) Jon Snow:
Glorious Kit Harrington butt shot as the resurrected Jon Snow sits up from the table. (Non-sexual Nude Scene)
Deaths
Episode 6: Blood of My Blood
Benjen tells the story of his death and resurrection to Bran Stark: "I led a ranging party deep into the North to find White Walkers. They found us. A white walker stabbed me in the gut with a sword of ice. Left me there to die. To turn. The Children found me. Stopped the walker's magic from taking hold." (Death)
submitted by cmwalken15 (approved!)
Episode 7: The Broken Man
+1 for Benjen Stark
Episode 8: No One
+1 for Benjen Stark
Episode 9: Battle of the Bastards
+1 for Benjen Stark
Episode 10: The Winds of Winter
+1 for Benjen Stark
Special
Episode 2: Home
29:18 (+3) Jon Snow:
Roose Bolton: "Jon Snow is a bastard, not a Stark." (Special)
submitted by kremershell (approved!)
Episode 3: Oathbreaker
43:46 (+3) Jon Snow:
Ramsay Bolton: "Why have you come to Winterfell, Lord Umber?"
Smalljon Umber: "The bastard Jon Snow led an army of Wildlings past the Wall."
(Special)
44:23 (+3) Jon Snow:
Ramsay Bolton: "Pledge your banners to House Bolton. Swear loyalty to me as Warden of the North and we will fight together to destroy the bastard and all his Wildling friends." (Special)
Episode 4: Book of the Stranger
Theon acts against his own self-interest, throwing away his own claim in support of his sister Yara ruling the Iron Islands. (Special)
submitted by skywalkerdude (approved!)
48:13 (+3) Jon Snow:
Jon opens up Ramsay Bolton's letter, addressed: "To the traitor and bastard, Jon Snow." (Special)
48:23 (+3) Jon Snow:
Ramsay Bolton's letter to Jon: "Winterfell is mine, bastard. Come and see." (Special)
48:43 (+3) Jon Snow:
Ramsay Bolton's letter to Jon: "I want my bride back. Send her to me, bastard, and I will not trouble you or your Wildling lovers." (Special)
One teardrop rolled down to her bottom cheek as she reads about Rickon's capture in Ramsay's letter to Jon Snow. (Special)
submitted by golub.jake (approved!)
Episode 5: The Door
Theon elects to stump for his sister Yara, after other some of the other Ironborn nominate him to inherit the Salt Throne. "I am Theon Greyjoy, last living son of Balon Greyjoy ... and she is your rightful ruler." (Special)
Episode 7: The Broken Man
Yara forces Theon to drink while the fleet is docked.
Theon: "I don't want any."
Yara: "I don't care what you want. Drink."
(Special)
submitted by rls14 (approved!)
Episode 9: Battle of the Bastards
12:35 (+3) Jon Snow:
Ramsay Bolton: "Come, bastard. You don't have the men, you don't have the horses, and you don't have Winterfell." (Special)
13:32 (+3) Jon Snow:
Ramsay Bolton: "I keep hearing stories about you, bastard." (Special)
15:35 (+3) Jon Snow:
Ramsay Bolton: "We'll find out soon enough. In the morning, then, bastard." (Special)
18:49 (+3) Jon Snow:
Sansa Stark: "Rickon is Ned Stark's trueborn son, which makes him a greater threat to Ramsay than you, a bastard, or me, a girl." (Special)
Episode 10: The Winds of Winter
52:02 (+3) Jon Snow:
Petyr Baelish: "Who should the North rally behind? A trueborn daughter of Ned and Catelyn Stark born here at Winterfell? Or a motherless bastard born in the south?" (Special)
59:17 (+3) Jon Snow:
Lyanna Mormont: "I don't care if he's a bastard. Ned Stark's blood runs through his veins." (Special)