The Varys-tocrats!

Bros Before Snows

Owner: marcelcdn

3-4, 43.5 roto pts (#3)
Z-Score: 0.355 (percentile: 63.88%)
Weeks at #1: 0
Categories won:
Best Week: Episode 1: Dragonstone (+4.5 roto points)
Team MVP: Jon Snow (picked #2, 165 points, 50.77% of team total)
Longest winstreak: W-1

Roster Stats

Character Drafted Total Kills Politics Insults Wine Sex Thrones Deaths Special Feels
Recently declared King in the North, he is the bastard son of Ned Stark, and formerly served as Lord Commander of the Night's Watch before he was betrayed by his fellow men.
#2 165 89 36 15 0 10 0 0 15 0
Formerly a lieutenant of Mance Rayder, the King beyond the Wall, Tormund is now the de facto leader of the Wildlings and a reasoned voice in rallying them behind the cause of Jon Snow.
#15 104 50 12 36 0 0 0 0 6 0
Theon's older sister, Yara was raised on the Iron Islands as a true Ironborn. She is a fearsome fighter and commands a longship of her own. After her uncle Euron Greyjoy seizes control of the Iron Islands, she flees with Theon and her loyal troops to ally with Daenerys Targaryen, whose dragons and armies sail west to retake Westeros.
#31 27 16 0 0 5 0 0 0 6 0
Samwell's younger, more physically formidable brother. He is the heir to House Tarly after Samwell was sent by his father to join the Night's Watch.
#63 13 2 0 3 0 0 0 5 3 0
The youngest of Oberyn Martell's bastard children, known as the Sand Snakes. She uses daggers and poisons as her weapons.
#50 9 6 0 0 0 0 0 0 3 0
One of Jon Snow's few friends in the Night's Watch, he now serves as the Lord Commander after Jon deserts the order following his betrayal.
#34 3 0 3 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Head of House Royce, bannermen to House Arryn of the Vale.
- 3 0 3 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
A skilled fighter and heir to House Tarth. After swearing an oath to Catelyn Stark, she continues her mission to ensure the safety of the Stark girls.
#18 1 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
The High Priestess of the Red Temple in Volantis.
#47 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Totals 325 164 54 54 5 10 0 5 33 0

Roster

charId Character Special
39
Recently declared King in the North, he is the bastard son of Ned Stark, and formerly served as Lord Commander of the Night's Watch before he was betrayed by his fellow men.
* +1 each time he unintentionally drops Longclaw
* +1 point each time he is called a bastard in his presence
* Ghost's actions contribute to his points.
67
Formerly a lieutenant of Mance Rayder, the King beyond the Wall, Tormund is now the de facto leader of the Wildlings and a reasoned voice in rallying them behind the cause of Jon Snow.
* every mention of "killing Crows"
* every on-screen second he stares into Brienne's soul (rounded up)
9
A skilled fighter and heir to House Tarth. After swearing an oath to Catelyn Stark, she continues her mission to ensure the safety of the Stark girls.
* Scores every time she mentions the "oath" or "vow" she swore to serve the Starks. * Scores every time someone references her size/masculinity/attractiveness.
63
Theon's older sister, Yara was raised on the Iron Islands as a true Ironborn. She is a fearsome fighter and commands a longship of her own. After her uncle Euron Greyjoy seizes control of the Iron Islands, she flees with Theon and her loyal troops to ally with Daenerys Targaryen, whose dragons and armies sail west to retake Westeros.
+1 when referencing that she is a lesbian, or making a pass at another woman
45
One of Jon Snow's few friends in the Night's Watch, he now serves as the Lord Commander after Jon deserts the order following his betrayal.
190
The youngest of Oberyn Martell's bastard children, known as the Sand Snakes. She uses daggers and poisons as her weapons.
+1 for invoking the name of Oberyn Martell
219
Samwell's younger, more physically formidable brother. He is the heir to House Tarly after Samwell was sent by his father to join the Night's Watch.
111
Head of House Royce, bannermen to House Arryn of the Vale.
Kills
Episode 2: Stormborn
43:40 (+1) Jon Snow:
Jon chokes a creeping Littlefinger against a wall in the Crypts of Winterfell. "Talk to my sister, and I'll kill you myself." (Minor Injury of Named Character)
Yara kills three Greyjoy soldiers in the initial melee aboard her ship, throwing down one, slicing down a second, and killing a third on the backswing of her sword. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Yara slices two Greyjoy soldiers by the neck. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Tyene enters the fray, impaling a Greyjoy soldier with her dagger, before Yara instructs her to protect Ellaria Sand below deck. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Yara cuts the throat of one of Euron's soldiers, before turning to witness the fiery carnage of her fleet.  As she regains her composure she stabs another soldier. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Below deck, Tyene takes out two Ironborn with her daggers. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Yara knocks an Ironborn soldier off the upper deck of her ship. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Episode 4: The Spoils of War
Brienne beats lucky man Podrick badly in a sparring session at Winterfell, before Arya Stark inerrupts.

Brienne: "Don't lunge."
Brienne: "Don't go where your enemy leads you."
Brienne: "And don't-"
Arya: "Don't fight someone like her in the first place."
(Minor Injury of Named Character)
Dickon stabs the dual-wielding Dothraki screamer through the back while he is engaged in battle with Jaime. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Episode 6: Beyond the Wall
33:06 (+10) Jon Snow:
After dodging a blow, Jon slices through the White Walker leading the scouting party with Longclaw, shattering it to pieces. (Kill of Named Character)
33:07 (+14) Jon Snow:
7 of the wights in the scouting party disintegrate after Jon kills the White Walker leading them.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
47:17 (+34) Jon Snow:
Jon cuts down 17 wights in the ensuing battle as the Night King's Army of the Dead descends upon the group, up until Daenerys and her dragons arrive. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Tormund kills 25 wights in the ensuing battle as the Night King's Army of the Dead descends upon the group. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
52:39 (+20) Jon Snow:
Jon realizes he is currently only 4th place on the Kills leaderboard, and climbs back down off of Drogon to score 10 more wight kills in garbage time, as all the others wisely get onboard. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
54:34 (+8) Jon Snow:
Jon Snow cuts down four wights after witnessing Viseron's death, before realizing that trying to cut his way to the Night King for a 1v1 was a terrible idea and that he should really get back to the dragon evac. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Episode 7: The Dragon and the Wolf
23:04 (+2) Jon Snow:
At the audience in King's Landing, Jon demonstrates the two ways of defeating the Army of the Dead, burning the wight's severed hand, and then finishing off the dismembered wight with a dragonglass dagger. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Political Wins
Episode 1: Dragonstone
Edd learns that Bran Stark is still alive, after he and Meera Reed show up to the gates of Castle Black. (Secret Discovery)
submitted by hindsight44 (approved!)
12:31 (+3) Jon Snow:
Jon refuses to strip the Umbers and Karstarks of their castles for Smalljon and Harald's treasonous siding with Ramsay Bolton, despite the objections from Sansa and the other Northern lords.

"...I will not punish a son for his father's sins, and I will not take a family home away from a family it has belonged to for centuries.
That is my decision, and my decision is final."
(Executive Decision)
13:14 (+6) Jon Snow:
Jon receives pledges of loyalty from Ned Umber and Alys Karstark, the new heads of their respective houses after Smalljon Umber and Harald Karstark died in the Battle of Winterfell. (New Follower/Prisoner)
Episode 2: Stormborn
39:03 (+3) Jon Snow:
Jon Snow decides that he must go to Dragonstone to meet with Daenerys, despite objections from Sansa and nearly all the Northern lords. "Daenerys is a Queen. Only a King could convince her to help us. It has to be me." (Executive Decision)
Episode 3: The Queen's Justice
40:48 (+3) Jon Snow:
Daenerys grants the cache of Dragonglass to Jon: "I will allow you to mine the Dragonglass and forge weapons from it. Any resources or men you need, I will provide for you." (New Weapon)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Episode 4: The Spoils of War
23:05 (+3) Jon Snow:
Jon reveals the ancient petroglyphs carved into the obsidian cave at Dragonstone, showing the Children of the Forest and the First Men fighting together against the White Walkers.

"There is something else I want to show you, Your Grace. The children of the forest made these. ... A very long time ago. They were right here, standing where we're standing. Before there were Targaryens or Starks or Lannisters. ... They were here together, the children and the First Men.
... They fought together against their common enemy. Despite their differences, despite their suspicions. Together. We need to do the same if we're going to survive. Because the enemy is real. It's always been real."
(Secret Discovery)
Episode 5: Eastwatch
0:00 (+3) Jon Snow:
Gendry enthusiastically pledges to follow Jon Snow beyond the Wall to take on the White Walkers. (New Follower/Prisoner)
26:59 (+3) Jon Snow:
Over Davos' and Daenerys' protests, Jon decides that he'll personally lead the expedition north of the Wall to capture a wight.

Davos Seaworth: "You can't lead a raid beyond the Wall. You're not in the Night's Watch anymore, you're King in the North."
Jon: "I'm the only one here who's fought them. I'm the only one here who knows them."
Daenerys: "I haven't given you permission to leave."
Jon: "With respect, Your Grace, I don't need your permission. I am a King."
(Executive Decision)
Jon arrives to Eastwatch, where Tormund has command of the castle, meeting with Jon and taking him to the prisoners his scouts found. (Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
Tormund takes Jon to the three prisoners he has locked up underneath Eastwatch - Beric Dondarrion, Thoros, and Sandor Clegane.

"My scouts found them a mile south of the Wall. Said they were on their way here."
(New Follower/Prisoner)
57:14 (+3) Jon Snow:
Jon silences the squabbling in the Eastwatch cells and recruits the prisoners into his expedition.

Jon: "He's right. We're all on the same side."
Gendry: "How can we be?"
Jon: "We're all breathing."
(Convincing Argument)
Episode 6: Beyond the Wall
33:58 (+3) Jon Snow:
Jon Snow and his crew successfully ambush the White Walker scouting party, killing the leader and capturing the live wight they were looking for. (Victorious Battle)
Episode 7: The Dragon and the Wolf
26:54 (+3) Jon Snow:
In what is universally regarded as a terrible idea by all sides, Jon single-handedly dissolves the Lannister-Targaryen truce in the name of honor and hopefully getting into Daenerys' pants later.

Cersei: "In return, the King in the North will extend this truce. He will remain in the North where he belongs. He will not take up arms against the Lannisters. He will not choose sides. ... I know Ned Stark's son will be true to his word."
Jon Snow: "I am true to my word. Or I try to be. That is why I cannot give you what you ask. I cannot serve two queens. And I have already pledged myself to Queen Daenerys of House Targaryen."
(Executive Decision)
45:47 (+3) Jon Snow:
Jon convinces Daenerys to sail with him to the North, rather than flying on her own.

"It's your decision, Your Grace. But if we're going to be allies in this war, it's important for the Northerners to see us as allies. If we sail to White Harbor together, I think it sends a better message."
(Convincing Argument)
Royce rejects the command of Littlefinger, dooming him to Sansa's sentence in his 'trial' at the court of Winterfell.

Petyr Baelish: "I am Lord Protector of the Vale and I command you to escort me safely back to the Eyrie."
Yohn Royce: "I think not."
(Act of Betrayal)
submitted by brandonthebigB (approved!)
Insults Delivered / Funny Lines
Episode 1: Dragonstone
"Looks like we're the Night's Watch now." (Funny Line)
submitted by alicehanners (approved!)
14:58 (+3) Jon Snow:
Sansa Stark: "They respect you, they really do, but you have to- Why are you laughing?"
Jon Snow: "What did father used to say? Everything before the word 'but' is horse shit."
(Witty Insult)
submitted by andrei.sias (approved!)
"You're a lucky man." - to Podrick after he gets knocked down by Brienne during sparring practice. (Funny Line)
Episode 3: The Queen's Justice
6:05 (+3) Jon Snow:
Tyrion: "She's much smarter than she lets on."
Jon: "She's starting to let on."
(Funny Line)
12:54 (+3) Jon Snow:
Daenerys Targaryen: "Did you see three dragons flying overhead when you arrived? ... and did you see the Dothraki, all of whom have sworn to kill for me?"
Jon: "They're hard to miss."
(Funny Line)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Episode 4: The Spoils of War
Dickon: "Ser Jaime."
Jaime: "Rickon."
Dickon: "...Dickon."
Bronn: ???
(Funny Line)
submitted by kevinpetsky (approved!)
Episode 5: Eastwatch
16:04 (+3) Jon Snow:
Jon and Daenerys discuss her dragons.

Daenerys: "They're beautiful, aren't they?"
Jon: "It wasn't the word I was thinking of, but... but, yes, they are. Gorgeous beasts."
(Funny Line)
Tormund: "Isn't it your job to talk him out of stupid fucking ideas like this?"
Davos: "I've been failing at that job of late.
(Funny Line)
Tormund: "How many queens are there now?"
Jon Snow: "Two."
Tormund: "And you need to convince the one with the dragons or the one who fucks her brother?"
(Funny Line)
Tormund: "How many men did you bring?"
Jon: "Not enough."
Tormund: "The big woman?"
(Funny Line)
Davos: "I'll be staying behind. I'm a liability out there, as you well know."
Tormund: "You are."
(Funny Line)
Episode 6: Beyond the Wall
4:16 (+3) Jon Snow:
Tormund Giantsbane: "I can breathe again. Down south the air smells like pigshit."
Jon Snow: "You've never been down south."
Tormund: "I've been to Winterfell."
Jon: "That's the North."
(Funny Line)
Gendry: "How do you live up here? How d'you keep your balls from freezing off?"
Tormund: "You've got to keep moving, that's the secret. Walking's good, fighting's better, fucking's best."
Jon Snow: "There's not a living woman within 100 miles of here."
Tormund, eyeing Gendry: "We have to make do with what we've got."
(Funny Line)
Jon Snow: "She will only fight beside us if I bend the knee."
Tormund: "You spent too much time with the Free Folk. Now you don't like kneeling."
(Witty Insult)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Tormund: "Were your born mean, or you just hate Wildlings?"
Sandor Clegane: "I could not give two shits about Wildlings. Gingers, I hate."
Tormund: "Gingers are beautiful. Kissed by fire."
(Funny Line)
Sandor Clegane: "You want to suck my dick, is that it?"
Tormund: "Dick?"
Sandor: "Cock."
Tormund: "Ah, dick. I like it."
(Funny Line)
Sandor Clegane: "You're with Brienne of fucking Tarth?"
Tormund: "Well, not with her yet. But I see the way she looks at me."
Sandor: "How does she look at you? Like she wants to carve you up and eat your liver?"
Tormund: "You do know her."
(Funny Line)
Tormund: "I want to make babies with her - think of them. Great big monsters. They'd conquer the world." (Funny Line)
submitted by Laxis (approved!)
Glasses of Wine Consumed
Episode 2: Stormborn
Yara drinks with Theon and Ellaria Sand below deck as they sail for Sunspear. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Acts of Intercourse
Episode 7: The Dragon and the Wolf
61:12 (+10) Jon Snow:
Jon Snow's ignites his latent Targaryen instincts to incest with his aunt Daenerys aboard her ship as they sail for White Harbor. (Act of Intercourse)
Deaths
Episode 5: Eastwatch
After refusing to bend the knee, Dickon is burned to ashes by Drogon's dragonfire alongside his father Randyll.

Daenerys: "Lord Randyll Tarly, Dickon Tarly, I, Daenerys of House Targaryen, First of My Name, Breaker of Chains, and Mother of Dragons, sentence you to die. Dracarys."
(Death)
Special
Episode 1: Dragonstone
Tormund eyes Brienne on the grounds of Winterfell as she spars with Podrick. (Special)
After Tormund speaks to Podrick, he returns his gaze to Brienne and approaches her. (Special)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Episode 2: Stormborn
Yara makes a pass at Ellaria below deck as Theon watches. (Special)
submitted by shannonferretti (approved!)
10:48 (+3) Jon Snow:
Sansa reading Tyrion's letter to Jon Snow: "All dwarves are bastards in their father's eyes." (Special)
"Father got careless, that's what mama says." (Special)
Ellaria Sand: "You ever been to Dorne?"
Yara: "A few times. Never stayed long."
Ellaria: "A boy in every port."
Yara: "A boy. A girl. Depends on the port."
(Special)
Episode 3: The Queen's Justice
3:56 (+3) Jon Snow:
Tyrion Lannister greets Jon on his arrival at Dragonstone: "The Bastard of Winterfell." (Special)
16:54 (+3) Jon Snow:
Davos Seaworth: "He was named King in the North. Not because of his birthright. He has no birthright. He's a damn bastard." (Special)
Episode 4: The Spoils of War
32:38 (+3) Jon Snow:
Missandei: "Forgive me, but may I ask a question? ... Your name is Jon Snow, but your father's name is Ned Stark?"
Jon Snow: "I'm a bastard. My mother and father weren't married."
(Special)
Dickon: "Ser Jaime."
Jaime: "Rickon."
Dickon: "...Dickon."
Bronn: ???
(Special)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Episode 6: Beyond the Wall
54:59 (+3) Jon Snow:
Jon Snow drops Longclaw on the frozen ice sheet after he is tackled under water by the wights during the dragon evacuation. (Special)
The Feels
Episode 4: The Spoils of War
While watching on as the living Stark children together in the courtyard of Winterfell:

Podrick: "Catelyn Stark would be proud. You've kept your vow."
Brienne: "I did next to nothing."
Podrick: "You're too hard on yourself, My Lady."
Brienne: "I'm not- ...thank you, Podrick."
(Warm Fuzzy Moment)
Episode 5: Eastwatch
15:08 (+0) Jon Snow:
Jon Snow, secret Targaryen, shares a moment and boops le snoot of the fierce and beautiful - gorgeous!, actually - Drogon. (Warm Fuzzy Moment)