Dakingindanorf

Kettleblack Alchemy (Public #696)

Owner: totallynotartificial

4-3, 50 roto pts (#1)
Z-Score: 1.033 (percentile: 84.94%)
Weeks at #1: 0
Categories won: Political Wins (75)
Best Week: Episode 1: Dragonstone (+5.5 roto points)
Team MVP: Cersei Lannister (picked #1, 140 points, 38.46% of team total)
Longest winstreak: W-2

Roster Stats

Character Drafted Total Kills Politics Insults Wine Sex Thrones Deaths Special Feels
Queen of the Seven Kingdoms, after the death of her last remaining child Tommen Baratheon. She suffers from a rare water allergy.
#1 140 5 45 18 20 40 0 0 12 0
Lord of Blackhaven, bannermen to House Baratheon. He leads the Brotherhood Without Banners, an outlaw fighting group in the Riverlands.
#32 85 70 6 0 0 0 0 0 9 0
The exiled head of House Mormont. Jorah was previously one of Daenerys Targaryen's most trusted advisors before his banishment and subsequent infection with the fatal greyscale disease. As Daenerys leaves for Westeros, he wanders Essos in search of a cure.
#16 78 64 3 0 5 0 0 0 6 0
A steward of the Night's Watch, Samwell has been sent south to Oldtown to begin his training as a Maester. He is a close friend to Jon Snow, and one of the few people known to have killed a White Walker.
#17 55 5 18 9 5 0 0 0 18 0
The eldest child of Howland Reed, bannerman to the Starks. She assists Bran in his journeys north of the Wall and is the only other surviving member of his party.
#33 3 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 3 0
Head of House Royce, bannermen to House Arryn of the Vale.
#49 3 0 3 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
#64 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
The Head of House Glover, and bannerman to the Starks.
#48 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
An orphan from King's Landing. He works at the Inn at the Crossroads as a baker.
- 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Totals 364 144 75 27 30 40 0 0 48 0

Roster

charId Character Special
18
Queen of the Seven Kingdoms, after the death of her last remaining child Tommen Baratheon. She suffers from a rare water allergy.
* +1 special point every time she pours wine or requests a glass be poured
* +1 point when someone (excl. Jaime) references incest with Jaime or her childrens' bastardy directly to her
* 2x multiplier for sex acts involving incest (first cousin or closer)
32
The exiled head of House Mormont. Jorah was previously one of Daenerys Targaryen's most trusted advisors before his banishment and subsequent infection with the fatal greyscale disease. As Daenerys leaves for Westeros, he wanders Essos in search of a cure.
* +1 point when he explains to someone he has Greyscale
* +1 point in each scene that Jorah serves as an encyclopedia for Essos culture.
* +1 point each time Daenerys convinces him to go on a mission / do something that doesn't involve being anywhere around her (friendzone)
40
A steward of the Night's Watch, Samwell has been sent south to Oldtown to begin his training as a Maester. He is a close friend to Jon Snow, and one of the few people known to have killed a White Walker.
+1 point for reading books, mentioning he "read that in a book", or writing raven letters.
101
Lord of Blackhaven, bannermen to House Baratheon. He leads the Brotherhood Without Banners, an outlaw fighting group in the Riverlands.
Can receive points multiple times in the Death category
+1 when shown igniting the flaming sword
13
The eldest child of Howland Reed, bannerman to the Starks. She assists Bran in his journeys north of the Wall and is the only other surviving member of his party.
+1 every time she transports Bran
256
The Head of House Glover, and bannerman to the Starks.
111
Head of House Royce, bannermen to House Arryn of the Vale.
104
An orphan from King's Landing. He works at the Inn at the Crossroads as a baker.
+1 point for every baked good or other food he prepares
Kills
Episode 2: Stormborn
Samwell plies off the infected Greyscale tissue from Jorah's chest, with all the gentleness of a spoon digging through hot pie. (Major Injury of Named Character)
Episode 3: The Queen's Justice
Cersei plants a kiss on Tyene Sand, poisoning her with the Long Farewell - the same poison used by Ellaria Sand to kill Myrcella Baratheon. (Major Injury of Named Character)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Episode 6: Beyond the Wall
Beric smacks his flaming sword onto the wight bear, setting it on fire. (Major Injury of Named Character)
As the wight bear mauls a helpless Thoros, Jorah runs in to stab it with his dragonglass dagger, killing the bear and saving Thoros. (Kill of Named Character)
Beric applies his flaming sword to cauterize the chest wounds suffered by Thoros at the paws of the wight bear. (Minor Injury of Named Character)
Beric slices through a wight during the ambush on the White Walker scouting party. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Jorah slices across a wight during the attack on the White Walker scouting party. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Jorah cuts down 26 wights in the ensuing battle as the Night King's Army of the Dead descends upon the group. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Beric cuts down 31 wights in the ensuing battle as the Night King's Army of the Dead descends upon the group. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Political Wins
Episode 1: Dragonstone
Over Jaime's protests, Cersei meets with Euron Greyjoy to hear his alliance proposal, although it ultimately ends in Euron leaving empty-handed with a promise to return with a gift. (Executive Decision)
submitted by hindsight44 (approved!)
Samwell has officially made it to grad-school life, having been admitted as a student of the Citadel. His first task is latrine duty. (New Title)
While looking into Thoros' flames, Sandor Clegane discovers the location of the planned White Walker invasion - Eastwatch-by-the-Sea -  a secret which Beric seems to already be aware of.
---
Sandor Clegane: "Ice.  A wall of ice.  The Wall. ... It's where the Wall meets the sea.  There's a castle there.  There's a mountain.  Looks like an arrowhead.  The dead are marching past.  Thousands of them."
Beric: "Do you believe me now, Clegane?"
(Secret Discovery)
As Samwell flips the pages of the restricted Maester books, he discovers that Dragonstone sits on a literal mountain of dragonglass, a weapon crucial to defeating the White Walkers. (Secret Discovery)
Episode 2: Stormborn
0:00 (+3) Hot Pie:
Hot Pie learns that Arya Stark is back in Westeros after recognizing her at the inn. (Secret Discovery)
submitted by EvanWolfe (approved!)
Qyburn presents a high-powered dragon-killing ballista to Cersei. "Apparently, one of Daenerys' dragons was wounded by spears in the fighting pits of Meereen. If they can be wounded, they can be killed." (New Weapon)
Samwell sneaks into Jorah's room to try an experimental Greyscale treatment on him, despite Archmaester Ebrose's forbidding him to do so. (Executive Decision)
Samwell's letter is the final straw that convinces Jon Snow to ally with Daenerys Targaryen.

"This message was sent to me by Samwell Tarly. He was my brother at the Night's Watch. A man I trust as much as anyone in this world. He's discovered proof that Dragonstone sits on a mountain of dragonglass."
(Convincing Argument)
Episode 3: The Queen's Justice
Euron Greyjoy presents his gift to Cersei - the captured Ellaria and Tyene Sand. (New Follower/Prisoner)
Cersei accepts Euron Greyjoy's proposal of an alliance, appointing him at the head of her navy. (New Follower/Prisoner)
Cersei casually reveals her night of incest with Jaime in her chambers as she opens the door for one of her handmaidens.

Jaime: "What are you doing? No one can see us like this."
Cersei: "I am Queen of the Seven Kingdoms, I'll do as I please."
(Executive Decision)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Cersei convinces the Iron Bank against investing in Daenerys Targaryen, and to give her an extension on her loan instead: "From what I gather, she considers herself more of a revolutionary than a monarch. In your experience, how do bankers usually fare with revolutionaries? The Lannisters owe the Iron Bank quite a lot of money, but Lannisters always pay their debts. Do former slaves or Dothraki or dragons?"

Tycho Nestoris: "Your father's daughter, indeed."
(Convincing Argument)
Episode 5: Eastwatch
With the delivery of the Tyrell gold and a repayment of debts to the Iron Bank, Cersei secures a new loan: "We have the Tyrell gold, we have the Iron Bank behind us. We can buy mercenaries." (Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
Jaime explains to Cersei that it was Olenna Tyrell who had assassinated Joffrey, not Tyrion.

Jaime: "It was Olenna. She confessed before she died."
Cersei: "And this was before or after she drank the poison you so kindly provided her?"
Jaime: "After."
Cersei: "And you believed her?"
Jaime: "If you were Olenna, would you rather have seen your granddaughter married to Joffrey or Tommen? Which one would Margaery have been better able to control? Which one would have made Olenna the true ruler of the Seven Kingdoms? She was telling the truth."
(Secret Discovery)
Cersei rejects Jaime's plea to find a peaceful solution out of the conflict with Daenerys.

Jaime: "And if we don't find a way out of this war, we'll follow them."
Cersei: "So we fight and die or we submit and die. I know my choice. A soldier should know his."
(Executive Decision)
submitted by hindsight44 (approved!)
Cersei reveals that she is already aware of Jaime and Tyrion's secret meeting.

Cersei: "Are you going to punish him?"
Jaime: "Tyrion?"
Cersei: "Bronn. He betrayed you. He set up a meeting without your knowledge or consent. Do you think anything of importance happens in this city without me knowing?"
(Secret Discovery)
Samwell steals several books and records from the restricted area of the library and abandons the Citadel with Gilly and little Sam.

Gilly: "Are you sure you want to do this? You always wanted to be a Maester."
Samwell: "I'm tired of reading about the achievements of better men."
(Act of Betrayal)
Episode 6: Beyond the Wall
Beric says a brief prayer for Thoros after they discover him perished in the night. "Lord of Light, show us the way. Come to us in our darkness and lead your servant into the light ... Lord of Light, come to us in our darkness. For the night is dark and full of terrors." (House Words)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Jorah figures out that the White Walkers have some kind of hive-like control over the wight.

"When you killed the White Walker, almost all the dead that followed it fell. We can go for the Walkers. Maybe we'll stand a chance."
(Secret Discovery)
Episode 7: The Dragon and the Wolf
Royce rejects the command of Littlefinger, dooming him to Sansa's sentence in his 'trial' at the court of Winterfell.

Petyr Baelish: "I am Lord Protector of the Vale and I command you to escort me safely back to the Eyrie."
Yohn Royce: "I think not."
(Act of Betrayal)
submitted by brandonthebigB (approved!)
Cersei declares that the Lannister armies will not be sent north to help fight the White Walkers, over Jaime's protests.

"The monsters are real. The White Walkers, the dragons, the Dothraki screamers all the frightening stories we heard when we were young, they're all real. So be it. Let the monsters kill each other. And while they battle in the North, we take back the lands that belong to us."
(Executive Decision)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Cersei figures that Daenerys has lost one of her dragons and has only two left.

Cersei: "How many dragons did you see at the pit?"
Jaime: "Two."
Cersei: "What happened to the third?
Jaime: "For all we know, it's guarding her fleet!"
Cersei: "She came here with her dragons and her Dothraki and her Unsullied. She came here to show us all her power. No, something happened. The dragons are vulnerable."
(Secret Discovery)
Cersei has bought the services of the mercenary Golden Company. "Highgarden bought us the most powerful army in Essos the Golden Company. 20,000 men, horses, elephants, I believe." (Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
Cersei reneges on her promise to send her armies to fight the Army of the Dead in the north, threatening Jaime with treason for disobeying.

Jaime: "I pledged to ride north. I intend to honor that pledge."
Cersei: "And that will be treason."
Jaime: "Treason?"
Cersei: "Disobeying your queen's command, fighting with her enemies. What would you call it?"
Jaime: "Doesn't matter what I'd call it."
(Act of Betrayal)
submitted by hindsight44 (approved!)
Sam puts the pieces of Bran's visions about Jon Snow's parentage together, remembering what Gilly told him at the Citadel about Rhaegar Targaryen's secret wedding.

"At the Citadel, I transcribed a High Septon's diary. He annulled Rhaegar's marriage to Elia. He wed Rhaegar and Lyanna in a secret ceremony."
(Secret Discovery)
Insults Delivered / Funny Lines
Episode 3: The Queen's Justice
to Ellaria Sand: "Your daughter will die here in this cell, and you will be here watching when she does. You'll be here the rest of your days. If you refuse to eat, we'll force food down your throat. You will live to watch your daughter rot. To watch that beautiful face collapse - to bone and dust. All the while contemplating the choices you've made.

Make sure the guards change the torches every few hours. I don't want her to miss a thing."
(Threat)
Episode 5: Eastwatch
Jaime Lannister: "[Olenna's] dead, like her son, her grandchildren, her whole house. And if we don't find a way out of this war, we'll follow them."
Cersei: "So we fight and die or we submit and die. I know my choice. A soldier should know his."
(Witty Insult)
Gilly: "Guess how many windows are in the Great Sept of Baelor.
Sam: "None anymore."
(Funny Line)
Sam goes on a rant to Gilly about the order of Maesters: "We can all become slavering, murderous imbeciles in thrall to evil incarnate as long as we can have access to the full records of High Septon Maynard's 15,782 shits!" (Witty Insult)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
Episode 7: The Dragon and the Wolf
briefing Gregor Clegane in Jaime's presence: "If anything goes wrong, kill the silver-haired bitch first, then our brother, then the bastard who calls himself King. The rest of them you can kill in any order you see fit." (Threat)
submitted by hindsight44 (approved!)
Jon Snow: "Lord Tyrion tells me a million people live in this city. They're about to become a million more soldiers in the Army of the Dead."
Cersei: "I imagine for most of them it would be an improvement."
(Comeback)
after Jon Snow rejects her offer of truce: "Then there is nothing left to discuss. The dead will come north first. Enjoy dealing with them. We will deal with whatever is left of you." (Threat)
Cersei: "What are you doing?"
Jaime: "Preparing the expedition north."
Cersei: "Expedition north? I always knew you were the stupidest Lannister."
(Witty Insult)
Sam: "What happened to you beyond the Wall?"
Bran Stark: "I became the Three-Eyed Raven."
Sam: "Ohhh! ...I don't know what that means."
(Funny Line)
Glasses of Wine Consumed
Episode 1: Dragonstone
Cersei takes a sip from the glass while discussing the failed alliance with the Freys after Walder's assassination. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Episode 2: Stormborn
Samwell takes a hearty swig of the rum he gives to Jorah, before attempting the Greyscale surgery. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Jorah drinks the rum given to him by Samwell, as he braces himself to undergo the experimental Greyscale procedure. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Episode 3: The Queen's Justice
Cersei downs a shot of Long Farewell antidote after poisoning Tyene Sand with a kiss. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Cersei drinks while discussing the Iron Throne's debt payments with Tycho Nestoris, a representative of the Iron Bank. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Episode 4: The Spoils of War
Cersei drinks while discussing the delivery of Tyrell gold to Tycho Nestoris of the Iron Bank. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Acts of Intercourse
Episode 3: The Queen's Justice
Cersei throws off the bed sheets to reveal herself in the morning after a night with Jaime. (Act of Intercourse)
Special
Episode 1: Dragonstone
Meera gives a slight push to Bran's sledge for appearances sake, as two members of the Night's Watch tow Bran through the gates at Castle Black. (Special)
Cersei runs for the pitcher and pours a glass as Jaime confronts her about Tommen's death. (Special)
Euron Greyjoy: "Ever since I was a little boy, I wanted to grow up and marry the most beautiful woman in the world, so here I am with a thousand ships and two good hands." (looks at Jaime) (Special)
submitted by adamjfallon (approved!)
Sam does some late night studying with his pirated JSTOR copies of the restricted Maester books. (Special)
Sam begins writing a raven letter to Jon to inform him of the cache of dragonglass buried beneath Dragonstone. (Special)
Episode 2: Stormborn
Samwell mentions that he has potentially found a treatment option for Jorah Mormont's greyscale in a book. "I found the procedure in a study of rare diseases by Archmaester Pylos". (Special)
Samwell opens up Archmaester Pylos' tome on Rare Diseases, which contains the instructions for the Greyscale treatment he is to perform on Jorah. (Special)
35:09 (+12) Hot Pie:
Arya meets Hot Pie at the Crossroads Inn, where he has baked up 4 on-screen pies: the Jorah special being eaten by two unnamed characters, Arya's pie, and two more left on the serving tray. (Special)
Episode 3: The Queen's Justice
Cersei pours out a glass of wine for her Braavosi visitor, Tycho Nestoris of the Iron Bank. (Special)
Archmaester Ebrose: "It's a meticulous, difficult procedure. Many Maesters whose chains are heavy with healing links have attempted it and failed. Yet you succeeded. How?"
Sam: "I read the books and followed the instructions."
(Special)
Episode 4: The Spoils of War
Cersei pours herself a glass while discussing the delivery of Tyrell gold to Tycho Nestoris of the Iron Bank. (Special)
Episode 5: Eastwatch
Qhono?: "This man says he is your friend, Khaleesi."
Daenerys: "He is my friend."
(Special)
Upon his return to Dragonstone, Jorah is introduced to the new Daario: "Jon Snow, this is Ser Jorah Mormont, an old friend." (Special)
Sam reads from a book as he transcribes it onto a fresh set of paper, before handing it over to Baby Sam. (Special)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
Episode 6: Beyond the Wall
Beric lights his sword on fire as the wight bear descends on the party. (Special)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Beric lights up his flaming sword to cremate the remains of Thoros of Myr. (Special)
Beric lights up his firesaber as the wight army approaches over the re-frozen ice. (Special)
The Feels
Episode 5: Eastwatch
Tyrion and Jorah share a brief reunion before Jorah sails off to the Wall on Jon's expedition to kidnap a wight..

Tyrion: "This is the coin the slaver gave me when I suggested he free us and pay us, remember?"
Jorah: "It was supposed to last us the rest of our lives."
Tyrion: "Take it with you. But bring it back. Our Queen needs you."
(Warm Fuzzy Moment)
Daenerys says her goodbyes to Jorah once again, as she takes his hands into hers.

Daenerys: "We should be better at saying farewell by now."
Jorah: "Your Grace, I-" (stunned speechless by actual physical contact)
(Warm Fuzzy Moment)