the Smiling Knight

Kettleblack Alchemy (Public #696)

Owner: ben.j.duly

4-3, 47 roto pts (#2)
Z-Score: 0.707 (percentile: 76.03%)
Weeks at #1: 0.5
Categories won: Kills (908), Insults Delivered / Funny Lines (102), Deaths (14)
Best Week: Episode 4: The Spoils of War (+7 roto points)
Team MVP: Daenerys Targaryen (picked #2, 923 points, 83.3% of team total)
Longest winstreak: W-3

Roster Stats

Character Drafted Total Kills Politics Insults Wine Sex Thrones Deaths Special Feels
Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen, Mother of Dragons and Breaker of Chains. With her three dragons and army of Unsullied soldiers she carved out an empire of liberated slave cities in the east, and she now sets her sights westward as she sails for the Seven Kingdoms to reclaim the Iron Throne.
#2 923 858 33 12 0 10 0 7 3 0
Formerly a lieutenant of Mance Rayder, the King beyond the Wall, Tormund is now the de facto leader of the Wildlings and a reasoned voice in rallying them behind the cause of Jon Snow.
#15 104 50 12 36 0 0 0 0 6 0
Formerly Hand of the King to Stannis Baratheon, Davos now advises Jon Snow. He is often at odds with the Red Priestess Melisandre.
#18 63 0 9 51 0 0 0 0 3 0
The eldest of Prince Oberyn Martell's bastard children, known as the Sand Snakes. She wields a spear.
#34 18 0 0 3 5 0 0 7 3 0
A young Dothraki widow from Dosh Khaleen. She follows Daenerys Targaryen after she defeats the other Khals by burning them alive inside the Temple of Dosh Khaleen.
#63 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
A Septa who took exceptional pleasure in torturing Cersei Lannister while she was a prisoner of the Sparrows, ringing the shame! shame! shame! bell as she made her walk of atonement. She is now held as a prisoner of Cersei.
#50 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
A member of the Night's Watch and commander of the Shadow Tower, located the west end of the Wall. He was a candidate to be elected for Lord Commander of the Night's Watch, though Jon Snow ultimately won the election.
#47 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
A squire in the service of Brienne of Tarth. He previously served as Tyrion Lannister's squire.
#31 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Totals 1108 908 54 102 5 10 0 14 15 0

Roster

charId Character Special
31
Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen, Mother of Dragons and Breaker of Chains. With her three dragons and army of Unsullied soldiers she carved out an empire of liberated slave cities in the east, and she now sets her sights westward as she sails for the Seven Kingdoms to reclaim the Iron Throne.
* Announcing her titles: "Mother of Dragons", "Breaker of Chains", etc. (min. of 2 titles)
67
Formerly a lieutenant of Mance Rayder, the King beyond the Wall, Tormund is now the de facto leader of the Wildlings and a reasoned voice in rallying them behind the cause of Jon Snow.
* every mention of "killing Crows"
* every on-screen second he stares into Brienne's soul (rounded up)
50
Formerly Hand of the King to Stannis Baratheon, Davos now advises Jon Snow. He is often at odds with the Red Priestess Melisandre.
* +1 point every time his fingers or onions are referenced
* +1 point when invoking Shireen's name
27
A squire in the service of Brienne of Tarth. He previously served as Tyrion Lannister's squire.
+1 point for failed attempts at basic tasks.
+1 point for surprising people with how good he is at a task
191
The eldest of Prince Oberyn Martell's bastard children, known as the Sand Snakes. She wields a spear.
+1 for invoking the name of Oberyn Martell
193
A member of the Night's Watch and commander of the Shadow Tower, located the west end of the Wall. He was a candidate to be elected for Lord Commander of the Night's Watch, though Jon Snow ultimately won the election.
195
A Septa who took exceptional pleasure in torturing Cersei Lannister while she was a prisoner of the Sparrows, ringing the shame! shame! shame! bell as she made her walk of atonement. She is now held as a prisoner of Cersei.
+1 point for each bell ringing (S6 onwards)
255
A young Dothraki widow from Dosh Khaleen. She follows Daenerys Targaryen after she defeats the other Khals by burning them alive inside the Temple of Dosh Khaleen.
Kills
Episode 4: The Spoils of War
Daenerys, riding on Drogon's back, breaks the line of Lannister soldiers with a breath of fire. "Dracarys." (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Daenerys and Drogon make a strafing run on the Lannister caravan, torching 34 soldiers and a dozen loot wagons in the process. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Daenerys and Drogon begin a second strafing run after a volley of arrows from Jaime Lannister's archers fail to have any effect. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
As Bronn runs through the chaos of the battlefield, he shoves aside a burning Lannister soldier and encounters two other burning men. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Jaime surveys the losing battle, witnessing a field of Lannister soldiers being burned alive. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Daenerys and Drogon go on a third strafing run, flying over the river and targeting Jaime Lannister's position. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Drogon gets to roasts two consolation horses after Bronn tackles Jaime Lannnister out of the way from his ill-fated charge at Daenerys. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Episode 5: Eastwatch
After they refuse to bend the knee, Daenerys has Randyll and Dickon Tarly executed by dragonfire.

"Lord Randyll Tarly, Dickon Tarly, I, Daenerys of House Targaryen, First of My Name, Breaker of Chains, and Mother of Dragons, sentence you to die. Dracarys."
(Kill of Named Character)
Episode 6: Beyond the Wall
Tormund kills 25 wights in the ensuing battle as the Night King's Army of the Dead descends upon the group. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Daenerys and her three dragons ride in to save the day for Jon Snow, Jorah, Tormund, the Hound, and Beric, laying waste to a massive number of wights with their dragonfire. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Political Wins
Episode 1: Dragonstone
Daenerys reclaims her ancestral home, the abandoned castle of Dragonstone, once commanded by Stannis Baratheon. (Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
Episode 2: Stormborn
Davos suggests that Daenerys's dragons will be a powerful asset against the fight against the wights, and suggests allying with her, despite Sansa's protests. Ultimately, Jon decides to personally travel to Dragonstone to meet with Daenerys, citing Davos' arguments in his appeal to the Northern Lords.

"What breathes fire?" ...  "But if the army of the dead makes it past the wall, do we have enough men to fight them?"

(Convincing Argument)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
Daenerys overrules the direct assault advocated by the Greyjoys, Tyrells, and Dornish, opting for a less violent siege on King's Landing and attack on Casterly Rock. (Executive Decision)
Episode 4: The Spoils of War
Ignoring the stern advice of Tyrion and all her other advisors, Daenerys finally puts herself and her dragons into action, riding Drogon into the field of battle to attack the Lannister caravan. (Executive Decision)
Although Drogon is injured, Daenerys and her Dothraki horde are successful in attacking the wagon train of Tyrell loot and breaking the Lannister army. (Victorious Battle)
Episode 5: Eastwatch
Daenerys rounds up the Lannister prisoners in the aftermath of the battle, which include Randyll and Dickon Tarly. (New Follower/Prisoner)
Daenerys rejects Tyrion's pleas for mercy or alternative punishments for the Lannister army, choosing to burn those who will not bend.

"I meant what I said. I'm not here to put them in chains. If that becomes an option many will take it. I gave them a choice. They made it."
(Executive Decision)
After getting that infection checked out at the Maester Clinic, Daenerys happily accepts Jorah Mormont back into service as her First Sword of the Friendzone.

Jorah: "I return to your service, my Queen, if you'll have me."
(New Follower/Prisoner)
Davos tracks down Gendry in King's Landing. "I wasn't sure I'd find you. Thought you might still be rowing. I looked in shops, taverns, brothels. Should have known to come straight to the Street of Steel." (Secret Discovery)
Davos has an easier time than expected convincing Gendry to leave King's Landing.

Gendry: "You came to get me. You want me to come with you."
Davos Seaworth: "Well, the thing you need to understand is-"
Gendry: "I'm ready. Let's go."
(New Follower/Prisoner)
Jon arrives to Eastwatch, where Tormund has command of the castle, meeting with Jon and taking him to the prisoners his scouts found. (Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
Tormund takes Jon to the three prisoners he has locked up underneath Eastwatch - Beric Dondarrion, Thoros, and Sandor Clegane.

"My scouts found them a mile south of the Wall. Said they were on their way here."
(New Follower/Prisoner)
Episode 6: Beyond the Wall
Daenerys rejects Tyrion's proposal that she name an heir.

Tyrion Lannister: "But there are other ways of choosing a successor. The Night's Watch has one method. The Ironborn, for all their many flaws, have another-"
Daenerys: "We will discuss the succession after I wear the crown."
(Executive Decision)
Daenerys ignores Tyrion's pleas, flying off with her three dragons to rescue Jon Snow and his expedition to capture a wight. "I'm not doing nothing again." (Executive Decision)
After she rescues Jon Snow's expedition from the Army of the Dead and pledges to fight the war, Jon swallows his pride and agrees to bend the knee.

"Alright, not Dany. How about 'My Queen'? I'd bend the knee, but..."
(New Follower/Prisoner)
Insults Delivered / Funny Lines
Episode 1: Dragonstone
"Looks like we're the Night's Watch now." (Funny Line)
submitted by alicehanners (approved!)
"You're a lucky man." - to Podrick after he gets knocked down by Brienne during sparring practice. (Funny Line)
Episode 2: Stormborn
on Melisandre's arrival to Dragonstone, after Varys protests that she had served Stannis Baratheon: "You chose an auspicious day to arrive at Dragonstone. We've just decided to pardon those who once served the wrong King." (Witty Insult)
submitted by kimberly.ramia (approved!)
Davos' comments on the letter from Tyrion: "Sounds like a charmer. Casual mention of a Dothraki horde, a legion of Unsullied, and 3 dragons - a bit less charming." (Funny Line)
submitted by pacelli929 (approved!)
Tyene Sand: "Maybe I'll kill you both before we take King's Landing. And then I won't have to share."
Obara and Nymeria: "(baby voice) Mammmaaa!"
(Funny Line)
Episode 3: The Queen's Justice
Missandei: "You stand in the presence of Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen, rightful heir to the Iron Throne, rightful Queen of the Andals and the First Men, Protector of the Seven Kingdoms, the Mother of Dragons, the Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, the Unburnt, the Breaker of Chains."
Davos: "This is Jon Snow."
(Funny Line)
Daenerys catches Tyrion in one of his signature made-up proverbs and calls him out:

Tyrion: "I'd very much like to believe that Jon Snow is wrong. But a wise man once said that you should never believe a thing simply because you want to believe it."
Daenerys: "Which wise man said this?"
Tyrion: "I don't remember."
Daenerys: "Are you trying to present your own statements as ancient wisdom?"
(Funny Line)
submitted by jedjackoway (approved!)
Episode 4: The Spoils of War
Missandei: "Your Grace, there's still no word from the Unsullied."
Daenerys: "Soon, he (Grey Worm) will come back to you."
Missandei: "He better."
Daenerys: "What happened?"
Missandei: "Many things."
Daenerys: "... many things?" ?
(Funny Line)
Davos: "What do you think of her?"
Jon: "Who?"
Davos: "I believe you know of whom I speak." ?
Jon: "I think she has a good heart."
Davos: "A good heart? I've noticed you staring at her good heart."
(Funny Line)
Davos corrects Jon's grammar with a classic callback from his former King, Stannis Baratheon:

Jon Snow: "How many men do we have in the North to fight him? 10,000? Less?"
Davos: "Fewer."
Jon: "What?"
(Funny Line)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
Missandei: "Ser Davos, Lord Snow."
Davos: "King Snow, isn't it? No, that doesn't sound right. King Jon?"
(Funny Line)
Missandei: "We don't have marriage in Narth, so the concept of a bastard doesn't exist."
Davos: "That sounds... liberating."
(Funny Line)
Missandei: "All of us who came with her from Essos, we believe in her. She's not our Queen because she's the daughter of some king we never knew. She's the Queen we chose."
Davos, to Jon Snow: "Will you forgive me if I switch sides?"
(Funny Line)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
Episode 5: Eastwatch
after smuggling Tyrion through Blackwater Bay: "There's a path to the left that hugs the cliff. The guards hardly ever patrol it. Too many steps." (Funny Line)
Tyrion: "What if someone takes the boat?"
Davos: "Then we're fooked. Best hurry."
(Funny Line)
to Gendry: "I wasn't sure I'd find you. Thought you might still be rowing." (Funny Line)
Gendry: "Aren't you worried about the Gold Cloaks?"
Davos: "Haven't been here in years. Why should they recognize me? Sometimes I hardly do.
Nothing fucks you harder than time."
(Funny Line)
Gold Cloaks, after already accepting Davos' bribe: "What's in the boat?
Davos: "Not more gold."
(Comeback)
Davos explains the goods he's smuggling in his boat.

"Fermented crab. One bucket of this triples a brothel's earnings for the week. A man thinks he's done. He's ready to go back to his loving family. But before he gets his breeches up, his lady of the hour pops a tiny spoon of that into his mouth. Five minutes later, he's back in the race."
(Funny Line)
to the Gold Cloaks after giving them a free sample of the fermented crab: "I'd hurry to your favorite establishment, or you'll put a hole in that chainmail." (Funny Line)
"I really wouldn't try any more until you see how the first bite hits you." (as the Gold Cloaks return to the boat of fermented crab to get a better look at Tyrion) (Funny Line)
Gendry: "I owe you my life. Twice over. But if what you said is true about what's up there, I can't wait out this war."
Davos: "Yep, nobody mind me. All I've ever done is live to a ripe old age."
(Funny Line)
Tormund: "Isn't it your job to talk him out of stupid fucking ideas like this?"
Davos: "I've been failing at that job of late.
(Funny Line)
Tormund: "Isn't it your job to talk him out of stupid fucking ideas like this?"
Davos: "I've been failing at that job of late.
(Funny Line)
Tormund: "How many queens are there now?"
Jon Snow: "Two."
Tormund: "And you need to convince the one with the dragons or the one who fucks her brother?"
(Funny Line)
Tormund: "How many men did you bring?"
Jon: "Not enough."
Tormund: "The big woman?"
(Funny Line)
Davos: "I'll be staying behind. I'm a liability out there, as you well know."
Tormund: "You are."
(Funny Line)
Episode 6: Beyond the Wall
Gendry: "How do you live up here? How d'you keep your balls from freezing off?"
Tormund: "You've got to keep moving, that's the secret. Walking's good, fighting's better, fucking's best."
Jon Snow: "There's not a living woman within 100 miles of here."
Tormund, eyeing Gendry: "We have to make do with what we've got."
(Funny Line)
Jon Snow: "She will only fight beside us if I bend the knee."
Tormund: "You spent too much time with the Free Folk. Now you don't like kneeling."
(Witty Insult)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Tormund: "Were your born mean, or you just hate Wildlings?"
Sandor Clegane: "I could not give two shits about Wildlings. Gingers, I hate."
Tormund: "Gingers are beautiful. Kissed by fire."
(Funny Line)
Sandor Clegane: "You want to suck my dick, is that it?"
Tormund: "Dick?"
Sandor: "Cock."
Tormund: "Ah, dick. I like it."
(Funny Line)
Sandor Clegane: "You're with Brienne of fucking Tarth?"
Tormund: "Well, not with her yet. But I see the way she looks at me."
Sandor: "How does she look at you? Like she wants to carve you up and eat your liver?"
Tormund: "You do know her."
(Funny Line)
Tormund: "I want to make babies with her - think of them. Great big monsters. They'd conquer the world." (Funny Line)
submitted by Laxis (approved!)
Tyrion Lannister: "I'm trying to serve you by planning for the long term."
Daenerys: "Perhaps if you'd planned for the short term, we wouldn't have lost Dorne and Highgarden."
(Witty Insult)
Glasses of Wine Consumed
Episode 2: Stormborn
Obara drinks in her hammock below deck, as the Sand Sisters argue over who they will kill in King's Landing. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Acts of Intercourse
Episode 7: The Dragon and the Wolf
Daenerys invites Jon Snow into her room so that he can properly bend the knee. (Act of Intercourse)
Deaths
Episode 2: Stormborn
Obara is impaled with the shards of her own spear by Euron Greyjoy. (Death)
In the aftermath of Euron's ambush on Yara's fleet, Obara's body is shown impaled with her own spears onto the bowsprit of the burning ship. (Dead Body Appearance)
Episode 6: Beyond the Wall
Viserion slumps into the icy depths of the lake after having been fatally struck by an ice javelin from the Night King. (Death)
Viseron's body is dragged back out from under the ice lake by a chain gang of wights. (Dead Body Appearance)
Special
Episode 1: Dragonstone
Tormund eyes Brienne on the grounds of Winterfell as she spars with Podrick. (Special)
After Tormund speaks to Podrick, he returns his gaze to Brienne and approaches her. (Special)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Episode 2: Stormborn
to Nymeria: "The Mountain killed father. He'll crush you with one hand." (Special)
Episode 3: The Queen's Justice
Tyrion Lannister greets Ser Davos on his arrival to Dragonstone: "Ah, the Onion Knight" (Special)
Episode 5: Eastwatch
"Lord Randyll Tarly, Dickon Tarly, I, Daenerys of House Targaryen, First of My Name, Breaker of Chains, and Mother of Dragons, sentence you to die. Dracarys." (Special)
The Feels
Episode 4: The Spoils of War
While watching on as the living Stark children together in the courtyard of Winterfell:

Podrick: "Catelyn Stark would be proud. You've kept your vow."
Brienne: "I did next to nothing."
Podrick: "You're too hard on yourself, My Lady."
Brienne: "I'm not- ...thank you, Podrick."
(Warm Fuzzy Moment)
Episode 5: Eastwatch
Jon Snow, secret Targaryen, shares a moment and boops le snoot of the fierce and beautiful - gorgeous!, actually - Drogon. (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
Daenerys says her goodbyes to Jorah once again, as she takes his hands into hers.

Daenerys: "We should be better at saying farewell by now."
Jorah: "Your Grace, I-" (stunned speechless by actual physical contact)
(Warm Fuzzy Moment)