Theon's Sausage Company

Deep Draft Invitational

Owner: coconnor723

1-9, 26 roto pts (#5)
Z-Score: -0.742 (percentile: 22.89%)
Weeks at #1: 0
Categories won:
Best Week: Episode 4: The Sons of the Harpy (+7 roto points)
Team MVP: Barristan Selmy (picked #44, 48 points, 19.83% of team total)
Longest winstreak: W-1

Roster Stats

Character Drafted Total Kills Politics Insults Wine Sex Thrones Deaths Special Feels
The former Lord Commander of the Kingsguard of Robert and Joffrey Baratheon. After being dismissed by King Joffrey, he joins Daenerys to serve as her advisor and Queensguard.
#44 48 30 3 0 0 0 0 15 0 0
A former sellsword, who has risen through the ranks of nobility thanks to his fighting skills and work for the Lannisters. He is arranged to marry Lollys Stokeworth, and eventually inherit a lordship and castle of his own.
#20 43 12 0 21 10 0 0 0 0 0
The second of the Lannister children, he is Cersei's lover and twin brother, and also the father of her three children. He also serves as Lord Commander of the Kingsguard.
#8 33 2 3 6 10 0 0 0 12 0
Formerly the Master of Coin, Littlefinger has been sent to the Vale to serve as Warden of the East.
#5 31 0 9 12 0 10 0 0 0 0
Formerly the Master of Whisperers in King's Landing, Varys controls a vast network of spies. He flees King's Landing after aiding in Tyrion Lannister's escape.
#17 23 0 0 12 5 0 0 0 6 0
The new King of the Seven Kingdoms.
#32 22 0 9 3 5 5 0 0 0 0
The only daughter of King Robert Baratheon and Queen Cersei Lannister. She was sent to Dorne to secure an alliance by marriage with House Martell.
#53 16 0 3 3 0 0 0 10 0 0
A freed slave from Astapor. She works for Daenerys as an advisor. She is fluent in many languages and often serves as a translator.
#29 9 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 9 0
A slave trader from Yunkai.
#56 9 0 9 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
A disgraced former Maester, who was banished from the order for engaging in forbidden experiments. He is recruited by Cersei to assist in various medical facilities.
#68 8 2 3 3 0 0 0 0 0 0
An orphan from King's Landing. He works at the Inn at the Crossroads as a baker.
#92 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
A member of Lysa Arryn's court.
#104 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Leader of the Burned Men, one of the hill tribes living in the west of the Vale.
#113 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
A Red Priest from the city of Myr - he is a member of the Brotherhood Without Banners, led by Beric Dondarrion.
#89 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Lord of Blackhaven, bannermen to House Baratheon. He now leads the Brotherhood Without Banners, an outlaw fighting group in the Riverlands.
#77 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Catelyn Stark's brother, and the heir to House Tully and Riverrun. He is held as a prisoner of Lord Walder Frey after the betrayal at the Red Wedding.
#80 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Known as the Blackfish, Brynden is the uncle of Catelyn Stark and Edmure Tully. He escaped the events of the Red Wedding, but his whereabouts are unknown.
#101 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
A representative of the Iron Bank of Braavos, a powerful bank who holds a large sum of debt from the Iron Throne.
#65 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
A former smuggler, Ser Davos is now a knight serving Stannis Baratheon, and one of his most trusted advisors, though he is often at odds with the Red Priestess Melisandre.
#41 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Totals 242 46 39 60 30 15 0 25 27 0

Roster

charId Character Special
79
Formerly the Master of Coin, Littlefinger has been sent to the Vale to serve as Warden of the East.
+1 point in the intercourse category for sex events that occur in his brothels
2x multiplier for betrayal events
+1 for every kiss he gives to Sansa
19
The second of the Lannister children, he is Cersei's lover and twin brother, and also the father of her three children. He also serves as Lord Commander of the Kingsguard.
* +1 point for awkward waves with his metal hand
* +1 point when he uses his metal hand in a combat situation
* +1 point when someone (excl. Cersei) references incest with Cersei or her childrens' bastardy directly to him
* 2x multiplier for sex acts involving incest (first cousin or closer)
82
Formerly the Master of Whisperers in King's Landing, Varys controls a vast network of spies. He flees King's Landing after aiding in Tyrion Lannister's escape.
* +1 politics point when he meets another character in secret
* +1 point when someone references his being a eunuch to him
* +1 point when he passes along information from his "little birds"
23
A former sellsword, who has risen through the ranks of nobility thanks to his fighting skills and work for the Lannisters. He is arranged to marry Lollys Stokeworth, and eventually inherit a lordship and castle of his own.
+1 point when he gives expert critique/advice on fighting strategy
37
A freed slave from Astapor. She works for Daenerys as an advisor. She is fluent in many languages and often serves as a translator.
+1 point for each scene where she speaks Valyrian or translates.
77
The new King of the Seven Kingdoms.
Actions by Ser Pounce contribute to his points.
50
A former smuggler, Ser Davos is now a knight serving Stannis Baratheon, and one of his most trusted advisors, though he is often at odds with the Red Priestess Melisandre.
* +1 point every time his fingers or onions are referenced
* +1 point when invoking Shireen's name
35
The former Lord Commander of the Kingsguard of Robert and Joffrey Baratheon. After being dismissed by King Joffrey, he joins Daenerys to serve as her advisor and Queensguard.
+1 point when he makes a suggestion to Daenerys and she ignores it.
78
The only daughter of King Robert Baratheon and Queen Cersei Lannister. She was sent to Dorne to secure an alliance by marriage with House Martell.
188
A slave trader from Yunkai.
95
A representative of the Iron Bank of Braavos, a powerful bank who holds a large sum of debt from the Iron Throne.
72
A disgraced former Maester, who was banished from the order for engaging in forbidden experiments. He is recruited by Cersei to assist in various medical facilities.
* +1 point whenever he receives a new specimen for his experiments
* +1 politics point when reporting information from his "little birds"
101
Lord of Blackhaven, bannermen to House Baratheon. He now leads the Brotherhood Without Banners, an outlaw fighting group in the Riverlands.
Can receive points multiple times in the Death category
+1 when shown igniting the flaming sword
92
Catelyn Stark's brother, and the heir to House Tully and Riverrun. He is held as a prisoner of Lord Walder Frey after the betrayal at the Red Wedding.
102
A Red Priest from the city of Myr - he is a member of the Brotherhood Without Banners, led by Beric Dondarrion.
+1 point every time he revives someone.
+1 when shown igniting his flaming sword
104
An orphan from King's Landing. He works at the Inn at the Crossroads as a baker.
+1 point for every baked good or other food he prepares
94
Known as the Blackfish, Brynden is the uncle of Catelyn Stark and Edmure Tully. He escaped the events of the Red Wedding, but his whereabouts are unknown.
114
A member of Lysa Arryn's court.
156
Leader of the Burned Men, one of the hill tribes living in the west of the Vale.
Kills
Episode 3: The High Sparrow
46:58 (+2) Qyburn:
Qyburn kills a rat for his experiments, splashing its blood onto his magnifying glass. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Episode 4: The Sons of the Harpy
31:03 (+2) Bronn:
Bronn kills a snake slithering next to Jaime's head. "Breakfast." (Kill of Unnamed Character)
34:30 (+4) Bronn:
Bronn attacks the Dornish riders, throwing his dagger into the throat of one and stabbing another with his sword. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
34:44 (+2) Bronn:
Bronn cuts down the horse of one of the Dornish riders. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
34:58 (+2) Bronn:
Bronn cuts down the fourth Dornish rider in the background, as Jaime fights with the third. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Jaime catches the sabre of the Dornish rider in his metal hand, allowing him to retrieve his sword and stab him. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Barristan arrives to the scene of the Unsullied ambush. He cuts down 15 of the Sons of the Harpy in an attempt to save Grey Worm, but is eventually cut down by the mob.
1. Slashed across the back as Barristan arrives
2. Slashed across the stomach as the mob engages
3. Slashed across the side after his first strike is parried
4. Held in place by Barristan to receive a stab from a fellow Son of the Harpy
5. Slashed across the chest
6. Sliced through the stomach
7. Sliced across the back
8. Stabbed through the stomach
9. Beheaded from behind
10. Slashed through with an uppercut swing
11. Stabbed through the stomach
12. Slashes across the stomach
13. Slashes after stabbing Barristan's leg
14. Stabbed through while Barristan is kneeling on the ground
15. Stabbed simultaneously while another stabs Barristan through the stomach (mostly obscured behind the surviving fighter)
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
Episode 6: Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken
32:58 (+2) Bronn:
Bronn knocks out Trystane Martell after he reaches for his sword. (Minor Injury of Named Character)
Political Wins
Episode 2: The House of Black and White
Jaime coerces Bronn into his service, marrying off the noblewoman he is betrothed to, Lollys Stokeworth, to another knight, stripping Bronn of his opportunity for a noble title and lands. "Because you're going to come with me and help me with something important. And when we return... I'm going to give you a much better girl, and a much better castle." (Politics - uncategorized)
Barristan convinces Daenerys to give the Son of the Harpy a fair trial instead of executing him immediately. "Your Grace... I served in [Mad King Aerys'] Kingsguard. I was at his side from the first. Your enemies did not lie." (Politics - uncategorized)
31:11 (+3) Qyburn:
Cersei names Qyburn the new Master of Whispers, replacing Varys. (Politics - uncategorized)
Episode 3: The High Sparrow
Tommen is married to Margaery Tyrell (Politics - uncategorized)
Petyr convinces Sansa Stark to go through with his marriage proposal to Ramsay Bolton.
"You've been running all your life. Terrible things happened to your family and you weep. You sit alone in a dark room, mourning their fates. You've been a bystander to tragedy from the day they executed your father. Stop being a bystander, do you hear me? Stop running. There's no justice in the world. Not unless we make it. You loved your family. Avenge them."
(Politics - uncategorized)
Episode 6: Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken
Littlefinger crosses Roose Bolton, revealing Sansa Stark's present location in Winterfell and the Boltons' marriage plans to Cersei: "...I have found Sansa Stark. Alive and well and home again living at Winterfell... They tell me Roose Bolton plans to marry her to his son Ramsay, a bastard recently legitimized by King Tommen." (Politics - uncategorized)
Episode 7: The Gift
Yezzan wins the auction and purchases Jorah Mormont for twenty gold Honors from Malko. (Politics - uncategorized)
After Tyrion Lannister demonstrates his fighting prowess by beating a slave trader with his chains, Yezzan agrees to buy him as well. "You're right... he's funny." (Politics - uncategorized)
Episode 8: Hardhome
Jorah re-enslaves himself to Yezzan for the chance to fight in the Great Pit. "Let me fight for her, and I belong to you." (Politics - uncategorized)
Episode 9: The Dance of Dragons
King Tommen has apparently sent orders for his sister Myrcella to return to King's Landing, which Doran Martell reluctantly agrees to. "King Tommen insists on his sister's return to the capital? ... I cannot disobey my king's command." (Politics - uncategorized)
Episode 10: Mother's Mercy
Myrcella figures out the secret of her parentage before Jaime can tell her. "I know... about you and mother. I think a part of me always knew. And I'm glad. I'm glad that you're my father." (Politics - uncategorized)
submitted by coconnor723 (approved!)
Tommen gains a new member to his Kingsguard in the Mountain, who has been rehabilitated by Qyburn. (Politics - uncategorized)
Insults Delivered / Funny Lines
Episode 1: The Wars to Come
13:10 (+3) Varys:
Tyrion: "Do you know what it's like to stuff your shit through one of those airholes?"
Varys: "No. I only know what it's like to pick up your shit and throw it overboard."
(Funny Line)
36:08 (+3) Varys:
Varys: "You have your father's instincts for politics. And you have compassion."
Tyrion: "Compassion? Yes... I killed my lover with my bare hands. I shot my own father with a crossbow."
Varys: "I never said you were perfect."
(Funny Line)
Episode 2: The House of Black and White
to Brienne, remarking on her new armor: "We've met, with Renly Baratheon... What did he say about you? He said, 'Your loyalty came free of charge.' Someone appears to have paid quite a bit for it since then." (Witty Insult)
to Brienne: "This woman swore to protect Renly, she failed. She swore to protect your mother, she failed. Why would I want somebody with your history of failure guarding Lady Sansa?" (Witty Insult)
submitted by moonbaseu92 (approved!)
27:07 (+3) Varys:
Tyrion: "There's a bug."
Varys: "Yes, best be careful. You might accidentally consume some solid food."
(Witty Insult)
Episode 3: The High Sparrow
King Tommen after bedding Margaery: "This is all I want to do. All day. Every day. For the rest of my life." (Funny Line)
43:11 (+3) Qyburn:
to High Septon: "So you were ministering to the needs of these... devout prostitutes." (Funny Line)
submitted by wpearsal (approved!)
51:53 (+3) Varys:
Tyrion: "I can't remember the last face I saw that wasn't yours."
Varys: "It's a perfectly good face."
(Funny Line)
Episode 4: The Sons of the Harpy
3:52 (+3) Bronn:
"There's nothing like a good fight to get you in the mood for fucking. And there's nothing like a fuck-mad Dornish girl to clear your head for the next fight." (Funny Line)
33:40 (+3) Bronn:
Dornish Rider: "You're from King's Landing."
Bronn: "Accent gave me away? Flea Bottom, whelped and whipped."
(Funny Line)
34:46 (+3) Bronn:
to Jaime, after knocking one of the Dornish riders off his horse: "That one should be slow enough." (Funny Line)
after asking Bronn to bury the bodies of the Dornish riders: "I can't dig very well with one hand. Not at all, really." (Funny Line)
Episode 6: Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken
to Lancel Lannister: "We both peddle fantasies, Brother Lancel. Mine just happen to be entertaining." (Witty Insult)
Cersei: "I'm the insulted party, Lord Baelish. Ser Loras was promised to me, instead he chose the company of boys."
Petyr: "One's choice of companion is a most curious thing."
(Witty Insult)
30:58 (+3) Bronn:
Bronn: "And once we've got the princess, then what?"
Jaime: "I like to improvise."
Bronn: "That explains the golden hand."
(Witty Insult)
Episode 7: The Gift
40:02 (+3) Bronn:
Bronn gives a rendition of "The Dornishman's Wife" as he is locked in a cell opposite from the Sand Snakes'. (Funny Line)
submitted by mmccor4140 (approved!)
40:44 (+3) Bronn:
Bronn: "Dornish women are the most beautiful women in the world."
Tyene Sand: "Thank you."
Bronn: "I said Dornish women. I didn't say you."
(Witty Insult)
Episode 9: The Dance of Dragons
Jaime criticizes Myrcella's revealing attire in Doran Martell's court:
Jaime: "What a lovely dress."
Myrcella: "You don't like it?"
Jaime: "You must be cold."
(Witty Insult)
Myrcella fires back at Jaime about her acclimation to the weather and culture of Dorne.
Jaime: "What a lovely dress."
Myrcella: "You don't like it?"
Jaime: "You must be cold."
Myrcella: "Not at all. The Dornish climate agrees with me."
(Funny Line)
16:43 (+3) Bronn:
Jaime Lannister: "Prince Trystane here is a man of mercy. He's agreed to grant you your freedom."
Bronn: "I'm glad to hear it. Pie looks good."
(Funny Line)
Glasses of Wine Consumed
Episode 3: The High Sparrow
Tommen drinks in bed after sleeping with Margaery. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
56:00 (+5) Varys:
Varys drinks with Tyrion in the whorehouse of Volantis. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Episode 4: The Sons of the Harpy
Jaime takes a swig while below the deck of the merchant vessel that is smuggling him to Dorne. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
4:22 (+5) Bronn:
Bronn drinks while below deck of the merchant ship smuggling him and Jaime into Dorne. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Episode 7: The Gift
44:18 (+5) Bronn:
Bronn drinks the vial of antidote from Tyene. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Episode 9: The Dance of Dragons
Jaime drinks after Doran Martell proposes a toast. "Let us drink to Tommen, the First of His Name, King of the Andals and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms." (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Acts of Intercourse
Episode 3: The High Sparrow
Tommen's first time, consummating his marriage with Margaery after their wedding. "It all happened so fast." (Act of Intercourse)
Episode 4: The Sons of the Harpy
The Faith Militant invades Lord Petyr Baelish's establishment, interrupting a customer and prostitute. (Act of Intercourse)
The Faith Militant invades Lord Petyr Baelish's establishment, interrupting a threesome with a customer and two prostitutes. (Act of Intercourse)
Deaths
Episode 5: Kill the Boy
Barristan's body lies in Daenery's throneroom after he was cut down by the Sons of the Harpy. (Death)
Episode 6: Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken
+1 for Barristan Selmy
Episode 7: The Gift
+1 for Barristan Selmy
Episode 8: Hardhome
+1 for Barristan Selmy
Episode 9: The Dance of Dragons
+1 for Barristan Selmy
Episode 10: Mother's Mercy
Myrcella begins bleeding from the nose, and she dies in Jaime's arms aboard the ship bound for King's Landing. (Death)
+1 for Barristan Selmy
Special
Episode 1: The Wars to Come
Missandei addresses Grey Worm by his name in Valyrian: "Torgo Nudho." (Special)
34:51 (+3) Varys:
Tyrion: "Eunuch. The Spider. The Master of Whisperers." (Special)
Episode 2: The House of Black and White
Cersei talks to Jaime about Myrcella. "Then don't call her your daughter. You've never been a father to her." (Special)
Episode 4: The Sons of the Harpy
Jaime: "We're not kidnapping their princess. We're rescuing my niece, bringing her back to her family."
Bronn: "Your niece?"
(Special)
Episode 5: Kill the Boy
The injured Grey Worm wakes from his sleep, and Missandei is there to comfort him in Valyrian. "You failed no one. You fought bravely. You'll fight again." (Special)
Episode 9: The Dance of Dragons
Ellaria: "You love her very much, don't you?"
Jaime: "Of course, she's my niece."
Ellaria: "I wasn't talking about her."
(Special)
Episode 10: Mother's Mercy
Jaime is confronted with his incest by his own daughter, Myrcella: "I know. About you and mother. I think a part of me always knew. And I'm glad. I'm glad that you're my father." (Special)
Missandei's line in Valyrian: "It's true. And I would be dead if not for the... little man." (Special)
submitted by coconnor723 (approved!)
35:38 (+3) Varys:
Tyrion: "I suppose there's no point asking how you found me."
Varys: "The birds sing in the west, the birds sing in the east, if one knows how to listen. They tell me you've already found favor with the Mother of Dragons."
(Special)