Stannis's Spicy Salsa

Dragons Love Tacos

Owner: Tiny Tyrion

3-4, 452 pts
Points Z-Score: -0.222 (percentile: 41.23%)
Weeks at #1: 5
Categories won:
Best Week: Episode 1: Dragonstone (+129 points)
Team MVP: Arya Stark (picked #2, 165 points, 36.5% of team total)
Longest winstreak: W-3

Roster Stats

Character Drafted Total Kills Insults Sex Wine Politics Deaths Special Feels
The youngest of the Stark girls. Recently having completed her training as an assassin in the House of Black and White, she has set sail to return to Westeros to pursue her revenge.
#2 165 104 24 0 10 24 0 3 0
A fearsome Lannister knight, formerly known as the Hound. After being left for dead after losing a fight with Brienne of Tarth, he recovered and briefly reformed as a laborer in a nonviolent commune, but has joined with Beric Dondarrion and the Brotherhood without Banners after bandits attack and destroy the village.
- 79 47 21 0 5 6 0 0 0
The new King of the Iron Islands, after killing his brother Balon Greyjoy. He is described as cunning, ruthless, and with a touch of madness.
#7 107 35 27 0 0 30 0 15 0
A freed slave from Astapor, who serves Daenerys as an advisor and translator.
#15 28 0 0 25 0 0 0 3 0
The leader of the Unsullied - a highly-trained army of freed slaves who serve Daenerys Targaryen.
#10 45 24 0 15 0 6 0 0 0
A steward of the Night's Watch, Samwell has been sent south to Oldtown to begin his training as a Maester. He is a close friend to Jon Snow, and one of the few people known to have killed a White Walker.
- 21 0 9 0 0 6 0 6 0
A bastard son of Robert Baratheon, although this fact is not widely known (even to Gendry himself). After being captured by Melisandre, he is freed by Ser Davos and escaped Dragonstone by rowboat. His whereabouts are currently unknown, but he will likely emerge at some point with the swolest arms Westeros has ever seen.
- 7 2 0 0 5 0 0 0 0
Totals 452 212 81 40 20 72 0 27 0

Roster

charId Character Special
6
The youngest of the Stark girls. Recently having completed her training as an assassin in the House of Black and White, she has set sail to return to Westeros to pursue her revenge.
* Nymeria's actions contribute to her points.
* +1 point for reciting her hitlist
* adopting a new Faceless Man disguise
40
A steward of the Night's Watch, Samwell has been sent south to Oldtown to begin his training as a Maester. He is a close friend to Jon Snow, and one of the few people known to have killed a White Walker.
+1 point for reading books, mentioning he "read that in a book", or writing raven letters.
81
A fearsome Lannister knight, formerly known as the Hound. After being left for dead after losing a fight with Brienne of Tarth, he recovered and briefly reformed as a laborer in a nonviolent commune, but has joined with Beric Dondarrion and the Brotherhood without Banners after bandits attack and destroy the village.
* +1 point for scenes where he eats
* 2x multiplier for actions performed while confronted by fire
80
A bastard son of Robert Baratheon, although this fact is not widely known (even to Gendry himself). After being captured by Melisandre, he is freed by Ser Davos and escaped Dragonstone by rowboat. His whereabouts are currently unknown, but he will likely emerge at some point with the swolest arms Westeros has ever seen.
+1 point for each act of blacksmithing.
Kills
Episode 1: Dragonstone
2:41 (+94) Arya Stark:
Masquerading as Walder Frey, Arya serves poisoned wine to a host of 47 Freys in the same dining hall where Robb and Catelyn were murdered at the Red Wedding.

"But you didn't slaughter every one of the Starks. No, no, that was your mistake. You should have ripped them all out, root and stem. Leave one wolf alive and the sheep are never safe. When people ask you what happened here tell them the North remembers. Tell them winter came for House Frey."
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
Episode 2: Stormborn
33:54 (+5) Samwell Tarly:
Samwell plies off the infected Greyscale tissue from Jorah's chest, with all the gentleness of a spoon digging through hot pie. (Major Injury of Named Character)
Episode 5: Eastwatch
39:28 (+4) Gendry:
After Davos's charade begins to break down, Gendry brings out his warhammer to smash in the faces of the two investigating Gold Cloaks. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Episode 6: Beyond the Wall
32:55 (+2) Gendry:
Gendry smashes in the head of a wight with his warhammer during the ambush on the White Walker scouting party. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
46:06 (+1) Sandor Clegane (The Hound):
The Hound shatters the jaw of a wight with one hell of an accurate rock throw. "Dumb cunt." (Major Injury of Unnamed Character)
47:15 (+44) Sandor Clegane (The Hound):
The Hound smashes 22 wights in the ensuing battle as the Night King's Army of the Dead descends upon the group. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
53:14 (+1) Sandor Clegane (The Hound):
The Hound secures the cargo by impaling the wight onto one of Drogon's spines for the flight out. (Major Injury of Unnamed Character)
Episode 7: The Dragon and the Wolf
22:15 (+1) Sandor Clegane (The Hound):
After revealing the wight to the audience in King's Landing, Sandor Clegane reels back its chain and bisects the wight as it charges him. (Major Injury of Unnamed Character)
59:58 (+10) Arya Stark:
Arya slits a groveling Littlefinger across his throat, after his betrayals and treason are exposed by Sansa in the court of Winterfell to the Northern and Vale lords.

Sansa: "Thank you for all your many lessons, Lord Baelish. I will never forget them."
(Kill of Named Character)
Insults Delivered / Funny Lines
Episode 1: Dragonstone
2:32 (+3) Arya Stark:
"But you didn't slaughter every one of the Starks. No, no, that was your mistake. You should have ripped them all out, root and stem. Leave one wolf alive and the sheep are never safe. When people ask you what happened here tell them the North remembers. Tell them winter came for House Frey." (Threat)
40:08 (+3) Sandor Clegane (The Hound):
Thoros: "Bad night to be outdoors."
Sandor: "You've got real powerful magic to figure that out. Did the Lord of Light whisper that in your ear? 'It's snowwing, Thoros.
It's winnndy. It's gonna be a coold night.'"
(Funny Line)
40:17 (+3) Sandor Clegane (The Hound):
Thoros: "Why are you always in such a foul mood?"
Sandor: "... Experience."
(Funny Line)
41:04 (+3) Sandor Clegane (The Hound):
to Thoros: "I'll tell you what doesn't scare me: bald cocksuckers like you. You think you're fooling anyone with that top knot?" (Witty Insult)
submitted by tylermanhart (approved!)
44:22 (+6) Sandor Clegane (The Hound):
"It's my fucking luck I end up with a band of fire-worshippers" -as Thoros beckons him over to check out the magic prophecy fire he just started (Funny Line)
Episode 2: Stormborn
0:00 (+3) Arya Stark:
Hot Pie: "You've been making pies?"
Arya: "One or two." (in reference to her Frey pies)
(Funny Line)
submitted by ssantise (approved!)
Episode 4: The Spoils of War
29:56 (+3) Arya Stark:
Brienne: "You can't use that, My Lady, it's too small." (referring to Arya's sword, Needle)
Arya: "I won't cut you, don't worry."
(Threat)
Episode 5: Eastwatch
43:06 (+3) Gendry:
Gendry bulldozes into his introduction with Jon Snow, after Davos warns him to do the exact opposite.

Davos: "The king's got a lot on his mind."
Gendry: "I understand."
Davos: "He doesn't need to be thinking about harboring the bastard of a dead king."
Gendry: "You don't have to worry."
Davos: "You're just Clovis, a smith who's come to pay his respects before he heads off to work at the Winterfell forges."
Gendry: "Understood."
...
Davos: "Your Grace, this is Clo-"
Gendry: "Name's Gendry, Your Grace. I'm Robert Baratheon's son. Bastard son."
(Funny Line)
43:22 (+3) Gendry:
Jon Snow: "I saw your father once at Winterfell."
Gendry: "I met yours in my shop."
Jon: "You're a lot leaner."
Gendry: "And you're a lot shorter."
(Funny Line)
47:05 (+3) Samwell Tarly:
Gilly: "Guess how many windows are in the Great Sept of Baelor.
Sam: "None anymore."
(Funny Line)
47:58 (+3) Samwell Tarly:
Sam goes on a rant to Gilly about the order of Maesters: "We can all become slavering, murderous imbeciles in thrall to evil incarnate as long as we can have access to the full records of High Septon Maynard's 15,782 shits!" (Witty Insult)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
56:46 (+3) Sandor Clegane (The Hound):
The Hound interrupts Beric's grand monologue.

Beric: "It doesn't matter what we think our reasons are. There's a greater purpose at work. And we serve it together, whether we know it or not. We may take the steps, but the Lord of Light-"
Hound: "For fuck's sake, will you shut your hole? Are we coming with you or not?"
(Funny Line)
Episode 6: Beyond the Wall
6:02 (+3) Sandor Clegane (The Hound):
Gendry recaps his ordeal after being sold to the Red Priestess Melisandre.

Gendry: "You know what she did to me? She strapped me down on the bed, she stripped me naked-"
Sandor: "Sounds alright so far."
(Funny Line)
6:22 (+3) Sandor Clegane (The Hound):
Gendry: "She wanted to kill me. And would have killed me if it weren't for-"
Sandor: "But they didn't, did they? So what you whinging about?"
Gendry: "I'm not whinging."
Sandor: "Your lips are moving and you complain about something. That's whinging. This one's been killed six times and you don't hear him bitching about it."
(Witty Insult)
14:05 (+3) Arya Stark:
to Sansa: "What would little Lyanna Mormont say? She's younger than you were when you wrote this. Are you going to say 'But I was just a child'?" (Threat)
14:20 (+3) Arya Stark:
Sansa Stark: "You're angry. Sometimes anger makes people do unfortunate things."
Arya: "Sometimes fear makes them do unfortunate things. I'll go with anger."
(Comeback)
15:42 (+3) Sandor Clegane (The Hound):
Sandor: "You want to suck my dick, is that it?"
Tormund Giantsbane: "Dick?"
Sandor: "Cock."
Tormund: "Ah, dick. I like it."
Sandor: "Bet you do.
(Funny Line)
16:30 (+3) Sandor Clegane (The Hound):
Tormund: "I want to make babies with her - think of them. Great big monsters. They'd conquer the world."
Sandor: "How did a mad fucker like you live this long?"
(Funny Line)
59:15 (+3) Sandor Clegane (The Hound):
Beric Dondarrion, as they part ways at Eastwatch: "We'll meet again, Clegane."
Sandor: "Fucking hope not."
(Funny Line)
62:16 (+3) Arya Stark:
Sansa Stark: " I have hundreds of men here at Winterfell, all loyal to me."
Arya: "They're not here now."
(Threat)
64:41 (+3) Arya Stark:
to Sansa: "Neither of us got to be the other person, did we? The world doesn't just let girls decide what they are going to be. But I can now. With the faces I can choose. I can become someone else. Speak in their voice, live in their skin. I can even become you. I wonder what it would feel like to wear those pretty dresses. To be the Lady of Winterfell. All I'd need to find out is your face." (Threat)
Episode 7: The Dragon and the Wolf
13:40 (+3) Sandor Clegane (The Hound):
Sandor Clegane: "Am I going to die in this shit city?"
Tyrion Lanniser: "You might."
Sandor: "And this is all your idea. Seems every bad idea has some Lannister cunt behind it."
(Witty Insult)
14:57 (+3) Sandor Clegane (The Hound):
to Gregor Clegane: "Remember me? Yeah, you do. You're even fucking uglier than I am now. What did they do to you? Doesn't matter. That's not how it ends for you, brother. You know who's coming for you. You've always known." (Threat)
56:26 (+3) Arya Stark:
Sansa Stark: "You stand accused of murder. You stand accused of treason. How do you answer these charges... Lord Baelish?"
Petyr Baelish: "...?"
Arya: "My sister asked you a question."
(Threat)
67:52 (+3) Samwell Tarly:
Sam: "What happened to you beyond the Wall?"
Bran Stark: "I became the Three-Eyed Raven."
Sam: "Ohhh! ...I don't know what that means."
(Funny Line)
Glasses of Wine Consumed
Episode 1: Dragonstone
39:05 (+5) Arya Stark:
Arya shares in some blackberry wine offered by the camp of Lannister soldiers. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Episode 2: Stormborn
31:39 (+5) Samwell Tarly:
Samwell takes a hearty swig of the rum he gives to Jorah, before attempting the Greyscale surgery. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
35:49 (+5) Arya Stark:
Arya goes for the ale after Hot Pie probes further into what she's been up to. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Episode 6: Beyond the Wall
6:37 (+5) Gendry:
Gendry takes the wineskin offered by Thoros after the Hound shuts down his "whinging". (Glass of Wine Consumed)
39:46 (+5) Sandor Clegane (The Hound):
The Hound gets one short swig in before Jon ruins the party and takes back the flask. "We have to burn the body." (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Political Wins
Episode 1: Dragonstone
0:58 (+3) Arya Stark:
"... so I can tell you my plans for this great house, now that Winter has come". (House Words)
3:30 (+3) Arya Stark:
"Tell them Winter came for House Frey." (House Words)
27:02 (+3) Samwell Tarly:
Samwell has officially made it to grad-school life, having been admitted as a student of the Citadel. His first task is latrine duty. (New Title)
45:38 (+6) Sandor Clegane (The Hound):
While looking into Thoros' flames, Sandor Clegane discovers the location of the planned White Walker invasion: Eastwatch-by-the-Sea.
---
"Ice.  A wall of ice.  The Wall. ... It's where the Wall meets the sea.  There's a castle there.  There's a mountain.  Looks like an arrowhead.  The dead are marching past.  Thousands of them."
(Secret Discovery)
submitted by jake.kmiech (approved!)
50:13 (+3) Samwell Tarly:
As Samwell flips the pages of the restricted Maester books, he discovers that Dragonstone sits on a literal mountain of dragonglass, a weapon crucial to defeating the White Walkers. (Secret Discovery)
Episode 2: Stormborn
0:00 (+3) Arya Stark:
Arya encounters Nymeria in the forest, where she leads her own pack of wolves. (Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
submitted by ssantise (approved!)
30:55 (+3) Samwell Tarly:
Samwell sneaks into Jorah's room to try an experimental Greyscale treatment on him, despite Archmaester Ebrose's forbidding him to do so. (Executive Decision)
38:07 (+3) Samwell Tarly:
Samwell's letter is the final straw that convinces Jon Snow to ally with Daenerys Targaryen.

"This message was sent to me by Samwell Tarly. He was my brother at the Night's Watch. A man I trust as much as anyone in this world. He's discovered proof that Dragonstone sits on a mountain of dragonglass."
(Convincing Argument)
Episode 4: The Spoils of War
13:00 (+3) Arya Stark:
Arya convinces the Winterfell guards to allow her into the castle: "I'm getting into this castle one way or another. If I'm not who I say I am, I won't last long. But if I am, and Sansa finds you've turned me away..." (Convincing Argument)
19:51 (+3) Arya Stark:
At the Stark sibling reunion party, Bran regifts Littlefinger's Valyrian steel dagger to Arya.

Arya: "Are you sure? It's Valyrian steel."
Bran: "It's wasted on a cripple."
(New Weapon)
29:38 (+3) Arya Stark:
Arya asserts that Brienne's vow means that she serves her as well, compelling her to engage in a sparring match. "You swore to serve both my mother's daughters, didn't you?" (New Follower/Prisoner)
Episode 5: Eastwatch
36:24 (+3) Gendry:
Gendry unveils the massive warhammer he's fashioned for himself. "I don't know much about swinging swords. But this... this I know." (New Weapon)
48:41 (+3) Samwell Tarly:
Samwell steals several books and records from the restricted area of the library and abandons the Citadel with Gilly and little Sam.

Gilly: "Are you sure you want to do this? You always wanted to be a Maester."
Samwell: "I'm tired of reading about the achievements of better men."
(Act of Betrayal)
53:29 (+3) Arya Stark:
Arya breaks into Littlefinger's chambers and discovers the hidden raven letter, a note from Sansa Stark while she was held captive in King's Landing, asking Robb Stark to come south and bend the knee. (Secret Discovery)
Episode 6: Beyond the Wall
45:50 (+3) Sandor Clegane (The Hound):
The Hound wields Gendry's warhammer, after Tormund forced him to leave it behind for the group so Gendry could make the marathon run back to Eastwatch faster. (New Weapon)
59:05 (+3) Sandor Clegane (The Hound):
Sandor loads the prized captured wight into a boat headed for King's Landing. (New Follower/Prisoner)
62:12 (+3) Arya Stark:
Arya catches Sansa in the act of searching through her room for the copy of the compromising raven letter. "Not what you're looking for?" (Secret Discovery)
Episode 7: The Dragon and the Wolf
69:17 (+3) Samwell Tarly:
Sam puts the pieces of Bran's visions about Jon Snow's parentage together, remembering what Gilly told him at the Citadel about Rhaegar Targaryen's secret wedding.

"At the Citadel, I transcribed a High Septon's diary. He annulled Rhaegar's marriage to Elia. He wed Rhaegar and Lyanna in a secret ceremony."
(Secret Discovery)
Special
Episode 1: Dragonstone
3:15 (+3) Arya Stark:
Arya peels off the mask of Walder Frey to reveal herself after assassinating the host of Freys in the dining hall at the Twins. (Special)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
42:43 (+3) Sandor Clegane (The Hound):
Sandor takes a bite out of some pocket jerky.   (Special)
49:18 (+3) Samwell Tarly:
Sam does some late night studying with his pirated JSTOR copies of the restricted Maester books. (Special)
50:32 (+3) Samwell Tarly:
Sam begins writing a raven letter to Jon to inform him of the cache of dragonglass buried beneath Dragonstone. (Special)
Episode 2: Stormborn
29:52 (+3) Samwell Tarly:
Samwell mentions that he has potentially found a treatment option for Jorah Mormont's greyscale in a book. "I found the procedure in a study of rare diseases by Archmaester Pylos". (Special)
31:52 (+3) Samwell Tarly:
Samwell opens up Archmaester Pylos' tome on Rare Diseases, which contains the instructions for the Greyscale treatment he is to perform on Jorah. (Special)
Episode 3: The Queen's Justice
50:08 (+3) Samwell Tarly:
Archmaester Ebrose: "It's a meticulous, difficult procedure. Many Maesters whose chains are heavy with healing links have attempted it and failed. Yet you succeeded. How?"
Sam: "I read the books and followed the instructions."
(Special)
Episode 5: Eastwatch
34:24 (+3) Gendry:
Gendry heats a new sword in the coals in the blacksmith shop. (Special)
46:49 (+3) Samwell Tarly:
Sam reads from a book as he transcribes it onto a fresh set of paper, before handing it over to Baby Sam. (Special)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)