Theon's Favorite Toy

GoT

Owner: bsjohnson

2-4, 37 roto pts (#1)
Z-Score: 1.537 (percentile: 93.8%)
Weeks at #1: 0
Categories won: Glasses of Wine Consumed (85), Acts of Intercourse (60), Deaths (40)
Best Week: Episode 2: A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms (+4.5 roto points)
Team MVP: Sandor Clegane (The Hound) (picked #7, 155 points, 27.34% of team total)
Longest winstreak: W-1

Roster Stats

Character Drafted Total Kills Politics Insults Wine Sex Thrones Deaths Special Feels
#7 155 72 6 15 25 0 0 10 9 18
#6 150 31 0 18 30 10 6 7 12 36
#19 108 52 6 0 0 35 0 7 3 5
#18 60 1 9 27 10 5 5 0 0 3
#31 59 12 3 0 20 10 3 0 6 5
#30 33 2 3 6 0 0 0 14 0 8
The long-deceased head of House Stark.
#43 2 0 0 0 0 0 0 2 0 0
- 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
#42 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Totals 567 170 27 66 85 60 14 40 30 75

Roster

charId Character Special
19
* +1 point for awkward waves with his metal hand
* +1 point when he uses his metal hand in a combat situation
* +1 point when someone (excl. Cersei) references incest with Cersei or her childrens' bastardy directly to him
* 2x multiplier for sex acts involving incest (first cousin or closer)
81
* +1 point for scenes where he eats
* 2x multiplier for actions performed while confronted by fire
23
+1 point when he gives expert critique/advice on fighting strategy
32
* +1 point when he explains to someone he has Greyscale
* +1 point in each scene that Jorah serves as an encyclopedia for Essos culture.
* +1 point each time Daenerys convinces him to go on a mission / do something that doesn't involve being anywhere around her (friendzone)
27
+1 point for failed attempts at basic tasks.
+1 point for surprising people with how good he is at a task
13
+1 every time she transports Bran
1
The long-deceased head of House Stark.
2x points for mentions that "Winter is coming"
+1 point each time he brandishes his greatsword, Ice
104
+1 point for every baked good or other food he prepares
Kills
Episode 3: The Long Night
Podrick gets a quick stab on a wight that charges him. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Jaime bodies a wight onto the ground. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Jaime slashes a wight across its back and drags it off of Brienne. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Jaime cuts down two wights as the snowstorm approaches from overhead. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Podrick home run swings a wight into pieces with his dragonglass blade. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Jorah slashes two wights while on horseback, before his horse is taken down by a gang tackle of wights. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Jorah kills a wight from the ground after being tackled off of his horse. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Jaime kills a charging wight (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Podrick runs through a wight with his sword, and slashes another on its side. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
The Hound hacks away at 3 wights with his dragonglass axe. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Realizing he is in pursuit after Arya whizzes a flaming arrow right over his head, Sandor turns around and smashes a wight with his dragonglass axe. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Jorah kills two wights as he covers the retreat of the Northern armies back into Winterfell. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
The Hound cuts down a spinning wight as he covers the group's retreat to Winterfell. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Clegane slashes down a wight as the phalanx of Unsullied escort Melisandre outside the Winterfell gate. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Jorah stabs through a wight as the phalanx of Unsullied escort Melisandre outside the Winterfell gate. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Sandor cuts down another wight as time frantically ticks down for the Red Woman's firestarters to work. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Jorah stabs a wight through the stomach. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Jaime cuts down the second wight climbing over the wall. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Sandor brings his axe down on a wight as it attempts to scale the wall, sending it tumbling back down to the bottom. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Jorah slashes two wights while defending the wall, splashing their blood across the ramparts. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Jaime cuts down three wights as they begin to overrun the wall. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
After being rescued by Brienne, Jaime covers her back and cuts down a wight. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Jaime strikes a wight advancing on his and Brienne's position, though it is only partially injured and is finished off by Brienne. (Major Injury of Unnamed Character)
Jorah a wight as it tries to climb over the castle wall. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Jorah stabs one of the wights after pulling them off of Samwell Tarly. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Clegane bashes in two wights as he, Arya, and Beric make their escape. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Clegane fights off two wights, knocking out one's head and kicking another. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Jorah stabs through a wight as his friendzone-sense tells him that the dragons and his Queen are in danger. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Jaime stabs into a wight. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Jorah swoops in to Daenerys' rescue after she falls from Drogon, lopping off the head of a wight. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Jorah fights off 6 wights while defending Daenerys outside the walls of Winterfell. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
As Brienne and Jaimie are tied up against the wall, Podrick's hands are free and he continues to hack away at the wight horde, scoring two kills. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Jorah fights off four wights as he defends Daenerys. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Jorah fights off 3 more wights as he is cut down to the ground. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Jorah kills one more wight as he lays kneeling on the ground. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Episode 4: The Last of the Starks
40:01 (+1) Bronn:
Bronn punches Tyrion square in the nose, rendering it bloody. "I've never hit a dwarf before, but say another word and I will belt you." (Minor Injury of Named Character)
Episode 5: The Bells
Jaime stabs Euron Greyjoy through the stomach as they battle in the sea caves below King's Landing. (Kill of Named Character)
Sandor deftly handles 4 of Cersei's Queensguard as he confronts her and his brother Gregor escaping the Red Keep. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Sandor tackles Gregor Clegane and carries him through the crumbling ruins of the Red Keep and into the burning city below. (Kill of Named Character)
Sandor sacrifices himself to tackle Gregor Clegane, carrying the both of them tumbling through the crumbling ruins of the Red Keep and into the burning city below. (Kill of Named Character)
Political Wins
Episode 1: Winterfell
24:47 (+3) Bronn:
Qyburn gifts Bronn the crossbow used by Tyrion to murder Tywin Lannister, as Bronn is sent on a mission to assassinate the Lannister brothers. (New Weapon)
Sandor receives a massive dragonglass battleaxe forged by Gendry, and thanks him with insults.
"You know who makes weapons for the Wildlings? Cripples and cocksuckers - which one are you?"
(New Weapon)
Episode 2: A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms
Jorah convinces Daenerys to forgive Tyrion's failures and keep him on as Hand of the Queen. (Convincing Argument)
Samwell gifts the Tarly family sword to Jorah.

Samwell: "And I'd love to defend them with it. But I can't really hold it upright. Your father, he taught me how to be a man. How to do what's right. This is right."
(New Weapon)
Episode 5: The Bells
Sandor reflects on the bitter end that revenge has brought him to, as he wards Arya away from following his same path.

Sandor: "She's dead. And you'll be dead too if you don't get out of here."
Arya: "I'm going to kill her."
Sandor: "You think you wanted revenge a long time? I've been after it all my life. It's all I care about. And look at me. Look at me! You wanna be like me? You come with me, you die here."
(Convincing Argument)
Episode 6: The Iron Throne
Brienne refers to the newly-knighted Ser Podrick Payne as he arrives to wheel Bran out of the Small Council meeting. (New Title)
69:56 (+6) Bronn:
Bronn is revealed as Lord of Highgarden and Master of Coin at the Small Council meeting.

Tyrion: "Ser Bronn of the Blackwater, Lord of Highgarden, Lord Paramount of the Reach and Master of Coin, would you say the crown's debt to you has been paid?"
Bronn: "In full, my Lord Hand."
(New Title)
Insults Delivered / Funny Lines
Episode 1: Winterfell
24:47 (+3) Bronn:
as Qyburn gifts him the crossbow used by Tyrion to kill Tywin Lannister
Qyburn: "She (Cersei) has a keen sense of poetic justice."
Bronn: "That fucking family..."
(Funny Line)
Sandor thanks Gendry for his new battleaxe, forged from dragonglass.
"You know who makes weapons for the Wildlings? Cripples and cocksuckers - which one are you?"
(Witty Insult)
"You're a cold little bitch aren't you? I guess that's why you're still alive." (Witty Insult)
submitted by sweetsarah025 (approved!)
Episode 2: A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms
Tyrion: "So, we're going to die. At Winterfell. Not the death I would've chosen. I always pictured myself dying in my own bed, at the age of 80, with a belly fully of wine and a [in unison with Jaime] girl's mouth around my cock." (Funny Line)
Brienne: "What are you doing? ... We have never had a conversation last this long without you insulting me, not once."
Jaime: "You want me to insult you?"
(Funny Line)
to Tyrion: "It wasn't so simple. I was sleeping with my sister, and you had one friend in the world - who was sleeping with his sister." (Funny Line)
to Arya: "You never used to shut up, now you're just sitting there like a mute." (Funny Line)
As Beric walks by to interrupt the moment between Arya Stark and Sandor:

"Oh for fuck's sake - may as well be at a bloody wedding."
(Funny Line)
Beric Dondarrion: "The Lord of Light has brought us together all the same. This is his moment. When light-"
Sandor: "Thoros isn't here anymore, so I hope you're not about to give a sermon. Because if you are, the Lord of Light's gonna wonder why he brought you back 19 times just to watch you die when I chuck you over this fucking wall."
(Threat)
Episode 4: The Last of the Starks
Jaime and Brienne play a drinking game of guesses.

Jaime: "You... are an only child."
Brienne: "I told you I was."
Jaime: "You didn't."
Brienne: "I did."
Jaime: "I surmised it."
(Funny Line)
Brienne: "It's the first thing I learnt when I came to the North. Keep your fire going. Every time you leave the room, put more wood on."
Jaime: "... You know the first thing I learned in the North? I hate the fucking North."
(Funny Line)
39:22 (+3) Bronn:
Bronn comments after hearing of Jaime's relationship with Brienne.

"I knew you were fucking her. A pair of tall, blond toffs. Must be like looking in the mirror."
(Witty Insult)
39:52 (+3) Bronn:
Tyrion: "You're a knight, thanks to me."
Bronn: "Thanks to me. And that title's worth as much as a blond hair from your brother's ballsack."
(Witty Insult)
40:05 (+3) Bronn:
Tyrion: "You broke my nose!"
Bronn: "I did not break your nose."
Tyrion: "How do you know?"
Bronn: "Because I've been breaking noses since I was your size, and I know what it sounds like."
(Funny Line)
40:50 (+3) Bronn:
Tyrion: "May I speak?
Bronn: "Why not? Only death will shut you up."
(Witty Insult)
41:48 (+3) Bronn:
Jaime: "Highgarden will never belong to a cutthroat."
Bronn: "Who were your ancestors, the ones who made your family rich? Fancy lads in silk? They were fucking cutthroats.
That's how all the great houses started, isn't it? With a hard bastard who was good at killing people. Kill a few hundred people, they make you a lord. Kill a few thousand, they make you king. And then all your cocksucking grandsons can ruin the family with their cocksucking ways."
(Funny Line)
Episode 5: The Bells
Tyrion: "Did you consider taking it (the golden hand) off?"
Jaime: "Cersei once called me the stupidest Lannister."
(Funny Line)
Episode 6: The Iron Throne
70:30 (+3) Bronn:
Bronn: "The Master of Coin looks forward to helping the Master of Ships, but first he has to ensure we're not wasting coin, or soon there won't be no more coin."
Davos: "Any more."
Bronn: "You Master of Grammar now too?"
(Witty Insult)
70:48 (+3) Bronn:
Bronn: "Oh, speaking of builders, all the best brothels burned down. The Master of Coin is willing to fund reconstruction." (Funny Line)
71:00 (+3) Bronn:
Samwell: "...the Archmaester is less than enthusiastic about the salutary effects of brothels."
Bronn: "Well I imagine he isn't using them properly."
(Witty Insult)
Glasses of Wine Consumed
Episode 1: Winterfell
23:51 (+5) Bronn:
Bronn drinks a glass after being interrupted by Qyburn. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Episode 2: A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms
Tyrion raises a toast - "to the perils of self-betterment" and Jaime just gets his lips on the cup as Brienne and Podrick barge in. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Podrick gulps down the overflowing full cup of wine poured by Tyrion. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Sandor drinks from his wineskin atop the ramparts of Winterfell. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Jaime refills his cup as the fireplace crew talks about the sexism of knighthood in Westeros. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Podrick drinks the last of his cup after Davos declares, "we're out of wine." (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Episode 3: The Long Night
The Hound takes a drink after admonishing Gendry for his thirst.

Gendry: "Look, it's not about that."
Sandor: "Of course it's about that, you twat. Why shouldn't it be? The dead are dead. You're not."
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
Episode 4: The Last of the Starks
Podrick drinks from his cup as Gendry makes his way through the aisle. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Jaime drinks as Gendry scoots past him and Brienne in the aisle. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Brienne and Jaime share a drink at the Feast of Winterfell.

Jaime: "We've fought dead things and lived to talk about it.If this isn't the time to drink, when is?"
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
Sandor takes a sip in the blurry background as Davos and Tyrion talk about Melisandre. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Podrick does a nervous drink as Tyrion guesses that Brienne is a virgin at the Feast of Winterfell. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Clegane takes another bitter drink as growls at a Northern girl who attempts to hit on him. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Sandor drinks from his refill as he talks bluntly with Sansa about her experiences. "You've changed, little bird." (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Jaime pours himself a cup and drinks in Brienne's bedchambers as he jealously questions her about Tormund Giantsbane. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Jaime and Tyrion drink after toasting to Jaime's new relationship with Brienne. "To climbing mountains." (Glass of Wine Consumed)
41:49 (+5) Bronn:
Bronn has a sip from Tyrion's tasty beverage as he holds both of the Lannister brothers at bay with a crossbow. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Acts of Intercourse
Episode 1: Winterfell
22:58 (+5) Bronn:
Bronn gets started with one of the trio of whores in his chambers, but is interrupted by Qyburn before he can complete the triple-bird score. (Act of Intercourse)
Jorah gently caresses the Khaleesi's elbow as he points out where Samwell is in the library. (Act of Intercourse)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Episode 3: The Long Night
Jorah picks Daenerys up off the ground after she falls from Drogon's back. (Act of Intercourse)
Jorah crumples down after getting stabbed in the gut. Daenerys gives him a reassuring pat on the back. (Act of Intercourse)
Daenerys helps a wounded Jorah up. (Act of Intercourse)
Daenerys fulfills a man's dying wish and reaches out to touch Ser Jorah's elbow. (Act of Intercourse)
Jorah dies in the arms of a tearful Daenerys, having successfully defended her from the onslaught of wights. (Act of Intercourse)
Episode 4: The Last of the Starks
Daenerys gives Jorah a parting kiss on his forehead as his body lies atop the funeral pyre. (Act of Intercourse)
Podrick has a girl in hand and chats up another Northern beauty before all three abscond into a dark corner of Winterfell. (Act of Intercourse)
Jaime fumbles awkwardly in his first attempts at flirting with someone who is not a sibling, but ultimately succeeds in wooing Brienne with the 'ol "my it's quite hot in here". (Act of Intercourse)
Jaime sits brooding in front of the fireplace after a 2nd night with Brienne, reflecting on how one just can't go back to non-incest after hitting that high-grade sibling kush. (Act of Intercourse)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
A Game of Thrones
Episode 1: Winterfell
24:08 (+1) Bronn:
Bronn sits down to get dressed and put his boots on after Qyburn interrupts his session with Marei and the other whores. (Basic Seat)
Episode 2: A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms
Jaime sits in front of the fireplace in Winterfell with Tyrion. (Basic Seat)
Jaime sits back down on his chair after inviting their new guests around the fireplace. (Basic Seat)
Podrick takes a seat among the fireplace crew. (Basic Seat)
Jaime and the fireplace crew continue sitting. (Basic Seat)
Podrick and the fireplace crew continue sitting. (Basic Seat)
Tyrion sits as Davos declares "we're out of wine" to the fireplace crew. (Basic Seat)
Podrick is sitting as Davos declares "we're out of wine" to the fireplace crew. (Basic Seat)
Episode 4: The Last of the Starks
Tyrion sits with Jaime in front of a fireplace in Winterfell, as Tyrion ribs Jaime on his newfound romance with Brienne. (Basic Seat)
39:37 (+1) Bronn:
Bronn takes a seat with his hostages as he negotiates with Tyrion and Jaime at crossbow-point. (Basic Seat)
Jaime sits on a chair in front of the fireplace after a 2nd night with Brienne, reflecting on how non-incest just doesn't really do it for him. (Basic Seat)
Episode 6: The Iron Throne
67:40 (+1) Bronn:
Bronn is seated at the Small Council meeting as Tyrion reviews Archmaester Ebrose's historical tome, "A Song of Ice and Fire" (Basic Seat)
68:39 (+1) Bronn:
Bronn reseats himself after Bran arrives at the Small Council meeting. (Basic Seat)
69:49 (+1) Bronn:
Bronn reseats himself at the Small Council meeting after King Bran's departure. (Basic Seat)
Deaths
Episode 1: Winterfell
Jon looks at a statue of his father while paying respects in the crypts of Winterfell. (Dead Body Appearance)
Episode 3: The Long Night
Jorah dies in the arms of a tearful Daenerys, having successfully defended her from the onslaught of wights. (Death)
Episode 4: The Last of the Starks
Jorah's body lies on top of a funeral pyre after the Battle of Winterfell. (Dead Body Appearance)
Episode 5: The Bells
Sandor sacrifices himself to tackle Gregor Clegane, carrying the both of them tumbling through the crumbling ruins of the Red Keep and into the burning city below. (Death)
Jaime reassures Cersei in their final moments in the cellars of the Red Keep, as the castle collapses down around them.

"Nothing else matters. Nothing else matters. Only us."
(Death)
Episode 6: The Iron Throne
Tyrion finds Cersei's and Jaime's bodies in the rubble beneath the collapsed Red Keep (Dead Body Appearance)
Special
Episode 1: Winterfell
Jorah reunites with Sam and they talk about his former Greyscale condition.
Dany: "The man who saved Ser Jorah when no one else could."
Jorah: "They could. They just wouldn't."
(Special)
submitted by nickg (approved!)
Episode 2: A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms
Podrick impresses in a sparring session on the training grounds at Winterfell.

Jaime: "He's come a long way."
Brienne: "He's alright. Still has a lot to learn."
(Special)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
After he gets passed over by the group as Tyrion Lannister entreats a song, Podrick surprises the group with his rich and moving rendition of the ballad, "Jenny of Oldstones". (Special)
submitted by coreymarkhembree (approved!)
Episode 4: The Last of the Starks
Sandor scoops at a shepherd's pie in his bowl during the Feast of Winterfell. (Special)
Sandor scoops at a shepherd's pie in his bowl during the Feast of Winterfell, in a strong foreshadowing to the Cleganebowl that was Promised. (Special)
submitted by conor_finlay (approved!)
Sandor chews on a piece of jerky as he rides solo out of Winterfell. (Special)
Episode 5: The Bells
Jaime holds up his golden hand when Tyrion asks "how did they (Daenerys' forces) find you?" (Special)
Jaime waves his golden hand at the Lannister guards in futility, as the King's Landing gates close and lock Jaime outside. (Special)
Jaime uses the ancient martial art of throat-poking with his golden hand while fighting Euron Greyjoy. (Special)
Jaime bitch-slaps Euron across the face with his golden hand to escape from a chokehold. (Special)
The Feels
Episode 1: Winterfell
After riding anonymously for a fortnight to reach Winterfell, Jaime discovers Bran has been sitting in the courtyard waiting for his "old friend" the whole time. (I've made a huge mistake.)
submitted by hindsight44 (approved!)
Episode 2: A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms
Arya and the Hound share a drink atop the ramparts of Winterfell.

Arya: "No, I mean, what are you doing up here? You joined the Brotherhood. You went beyond the Wall with Jon. You're here now. Why? When was the last time you fought for anyone but yourself?"
Sandor: "I fought for you, didn't I?"
(Warm Fuzzy Moment)
Jaime knights Brienne of Tarth

"In the name of the Warrior, I charge you to be brave.
In the name of the Father, I charge you to be just.
In the name of the Mother, I charge you to defend the innocent.
Arise, Brienne of Tarth - a knight of the Seven Kingdoms."
(Warm Fuzzy Moment)
Jorah receives Heartsbane, Tarly family sword from Samwell, as a remembrance to his father, the Lord Commander Jeor Mormont.

Samwell: "And I'd love to defend them with it. But I can't really hold it upright. Your father, he taught me how to be a man. How to do what's right. This is right."
(Warm Fuzzy Moment)
Podrick delivers a heartfelt rendition of the ballad, "Jenny of Oldstones":

"High in the halls of the Kings who are gone
Jenny would dance with her ghosts
The ones she had lost and the ones she had found
And the ones who had loved her the most
The ones who'd been gone for so very long
She couldn't remember their names
They spun her around on the damp old stones
Spun away all her sorrow and pain
And she never wanted to leave
Never wanted to leave...
Never wanted to leave...
Never wanted to leave...
Never wanted to leave...
Never wanted to leave..."
(Sad Feels)
Episode 4: The Last of the Starks
Sandor continues to sit and eat throughout all the various celebratory toasts for Gendry, Arya, and other heroes of the Battle of Winterfell. (Ridiculously Funny Moment)
Sandor Clegane and Sansa talk about their long journeys and roads not taken.

Sandor: " You've changed, Little Bird. None of it would have happened if you'd left King's Landing with me. No Littlefinger, no Ramsay none of it."
Sansa: "Without Littlefinger, and Ramsay, and the rest... I would have stayed a Little Bird all my life."
(Warm Fuzzy Moment)
After two days of playing house with Brienne, Jaime receives news of the events in King's Landing and reflects on where his true passions lie.

"You think I'm a good man? I pushed a boy out a tower window, crippled him for life for Cersei. I strangled my cousin with my own hands just to get back to Cersei. I would have murdered every man, woman and child in Riverrun for Cersei. She's hateful. And so am I."
(Sad Feels)
After two nights in bed with Brienne, Jaime lies awake and reflects on how non-incest just really doesn't do it for him. (I've made a huge mistake.)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Episode 5: The Bells
Tyrion frees Jaime and the Lannister brothers say their goodbyes on the eve of the attack on King's Landing.

Tyrion: "You were the only one who didn't treat me like a monster. You were all I had."
(Sad Feels)
Sandor reflects on the bitter end that revenge has brought him to, as he wards Arya away from following his same path.

Sandor: "She's dead. And you'll be dead too if you don't get out of here."
Arya: "I'm going to kill her."
Sandor: "You think you wanted revenge a long time? I've been after it all my life. It's all I care about. And look at me. Look at me! You wanna be like me? You come with me, you die here."
(Sad Feels)
Jaime reassures Cersei in their final moments in the cellars of the Red Keep, as the castle collapses down around them.

"Nothing else matters. Nothing else matters. Only us."
(Sad Feels)
Episode 6: The Iron Throne
67:15 (+3) Bronn:
Bronn drags one of Tyrion's carefully arranged Small Council chairs to the Hand's exasperation. (Ridiculously Funny Moment)