Jaime Lannister

GoT

drafted by Theon's Favorite Toy

* +1 point for awkward waves with his metal hand
* +1 point when he uses his metal hand in a combat situation
* +1 point when someone (excl. Cersei) references incest with Cersei or her childrens' bastardy directly to him
* 2x multiplier for sex acts involving incest (first cousin or closer)

Raw Stats

Total Kills Politics Insults Wine Sex Thrones Deaths Special Feels
150 31 0 18 30 10 6 7 12 36

Event Log

Kills
Episode 3: The Long Night
Jaime bodies a wight onto the ground. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Jaime slashes a wight across its back and drags it off of Brienne. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Jaime cuts down two wights as the snowstorm approaches from overhead. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Jaime kills a charging wight (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Jaime cuts down the second wight climbing over the wall. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Jaime cuts down three wights as they begin to overrun the wall. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
After being rescued by Brienne, Jaime covers her back and cuts down a wight. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Jaime strikes a wight advancing on his and Brienne's position, though it is only partially injured and is finished off by Brienne. (Major Injury of Unnamed Character)
Jaime stabs into a wight. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Episode 5: The Bells
Jaime stabs Euron Greyjoy through the stomach as they battle in the sea caves below King's Landing. (Kill of Named Character)
Insults Delivered / Funny Lines
Episode 2: A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms
Tyrion: "So, we're going to die. At Winterfell. Not the death I would've chosen. I always pictured myself dying in my own bed, at the age of 80, with a belly fully of wine and a [in unison with Jaime] girl's mouth around my cock." (Funny Line)
Brienne: "What are you doing? ... We have never had a conversation last this long without you insulting me, not once."
Jaime: "You want me to insult you?"
(Funny Line)
to Tyrion: "It wasn't so simple. I was sleeping with my sister, and you had one friend in the world - who was sleeping with his sister." (Funny Line)
Episode 4: The Last of the Starks
Jaime and Brienne play a drinking game of guesses.

Jaime: "You... are an only child."
Brienne: "I told you I was."
Jaime: "You didn't."
Brienne: "I did."
Jaime: "I surmised it."
(Funny Line)
Brienne: "It's the first thing I learnt when I came to the North. Keep your fire going. Every time you leave the room, put more wood on."
Jaime: "... You know the first thing I learned in the North? I hate the fucking North."
(Funny Line)
Episode 5: The Bells
Tyrion: "Did you consider taking it (the golden hand) off?"
Jaime: "Cersei once called me the stupidest Lannister."
(Funny Line)
Glasses of Wine Consumed
Episode 2: A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms
Tyrion raises a toast - "to the perils of self-betterment" and Jaime just gets his lips on the cup as Brienne and Podrick barge in. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Jaime refills his cup as the fireplace crew talks about the sexism of knighthood in Westeros. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Episode 4: The Last of the Starks
Jaime drinks as Gendry scoots past him and Brienne in the aisle. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Brienne and Jaime share a drink at the Feast of Winterfell.

Jaime: "We've fought dead things and lived to talk about it.If this isn't the time to drink, when is?"
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
Jaime pours himself a cup and drinks in Brienne's bedchambers as he jealously questions her about Tormund Giantsbane. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Jaime and Tyrion drink after toasting to Jaime's new relationship with Brienne. "To climbing mountains." (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Acts of Intercourse
Episode 4: The Last of the Starks
Jaime fumbles awkwardly in his first attempts at flirting with someone who is not a sibling, but ultimately succeeds in wooing Brienne with the 'ol "my it's quite hot in here". (Act of Intercourse)
Jaime sits brooding in front of the fireplace after a 2nd night with Brienne, reflecting on how one just can't go back to non-incest after hitting that high-grade sibling kush. (Act of Intercourse)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
A Game of Thrones
Episode 2: A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms
Jaime sits in front of the fireplace in Winterfell with Tyrion. (Basic Seat)
Jaime sits back down on his chair after inviting their new guests around the fireplace. (Basic Seat)
Jaime and the fireplace crew continue sitting. (Basic Seat)
Tyrion sits as Davos declares "we're out of wine" to the fireplace crew. (Basic Seat)
Episode 4: The Last of the Starks
Tyrion sits with Jaime in front of a fireplace in Winterfell, as Tyrion ribs Jaime on his newfound romance with Brienne. (Basic Seat)
Jaime sits on a chair in front of the fireplace after a 2nd night with Brienne, reflecting on how non-incest just doesn't really do it for him. (Basic Seat)
Deaths
Episode 5: The Bells
Jaime reassures Cersei in their final moments in the cellars of the Red Keep, as the castle collapses down around them.

"Nothing else matters. Nothing else matters. Only us."
(Death)
Episode 6: The Iron Throne
Tyrion finds Cersei's and Jaime's bodies in the rubble beneath the collapsed Red Keep (Dead Body Appearance)
Special
Episode 5: The Bells
Jaime holds up his golden hand when Tyrion asks "how did they (Daenerys' forces) find you?" (Special)
Jaime waves his golden hand at the Lannister guards in futility, as the King's Landing gates close and lock Jaime outside. (Special)
Jaime uses the ancient martial art of throat-poking with his golden hand while fighting Euron Greyjoy. (Special)
Jaime bitch-slaps Euron across the face with his golden hand to escape from a chokehold. (Special)
The Feels
Episode 1: Winterfell
After riding anonymously for a fortnight to reach Winterfell, Jaime discovers Bran has been sitting in the courtyard waiting for his "old friend" the whole time. (I've made a huge mistake.)
submitted by hindsight44 (approved!)
Episode 2: A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms
Jaime knights Brienne of Tarth

"In the name of the Warrior, I charge you to be brave.
In the name of the Father, I charge you to be just.
In the name of the Mother, I charge you to defend the innocent.
Arise, Brienne of Tarth - a knight of the Seven Kingdoms."
(Warm Fuzzy Moment)
Episode 4: The Last of the Starks
After two days of playing house with Brienne, Jaime receives news of the events in King's Landing and reflects on where his true passions lie.

"You think I'm a good man? I pushed a boy out a tower window, crippled him for life for Cersei. I strangled my cousin with my own hands just to get back to Cersei. I would have murdered every man, woman and child in Riverrun for Cersei. She's hateful. And so am I."
(Sad Feels)
After two nights in bed with Brienne, Jaime lies awake and reflects on how non-incest just really doesn't do it for him. (I've made a huge mistake.)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Episode 5: The Bells
Tyrion frees Jaime and the Lannister brothers say their goodbyes on the eve of the attack on King's Landing.

Tyrion: "You were the only one who didn't treat me like a monster. You were all I had."
(Sad Feels)
Jaime reassures Cersei in their final moments in the cellars of the Red Keep, as the castle collapses down around them.

"Nothing else matters. Nothing else matters. Only us."
(Sad Feels)