Matchup: Cersei It Ain't So Whoa Oh vs Reigns of Castamere for Ep 2
You win or you die
Insults Delivered / Funny Lines
12:40
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion comments on the Lannister brothers reunion as they are spat upon by Northerners.
"Well, here we are... together again. And the masses rejoice." (Funny Line)
"Well, here we are... together again. And the masses rejoice." (Funny Line)
13:41
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Jaime: "Don't be too hard on yourself. She fooled me more than anybody."
Tyrion: "She never fooled you. You always knew exactly what she was. And you loved her anyway." (Witty Insult)
Tyrion: "She never fooled you. You always knew exactly what she was. And you loved her anyway." (Witty Insult)
14:06
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion: "So, we're going to die. At Winterfell. Not the death I would've chosen. I always pictured myself dying in my own bed, at the age of 80, with a belly fully of wine and a [in unison with Jaime] girl's mouth around my cock."
(Funny Line)
14:06
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Tyrion: "So, we're going to die. At Winterfell. Not the death I would've chosen. I always pictured myself dying in my own bed, at the age of 80, with a belly fully of wine and a [in unison with Jaime] girl's mouth around my cock."
(Funny Line)
16:11
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Brienne: "What are you doing? ... We have never had a conversation last this long without you insulting me, not once."
Jaime: "You want me to insult you?" (Funny Line)
Jaime: "You want me to insult you?" (Funny Line)
30:43
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion: "You've had a strange journey."
Bran: "Stranger than most."
Tyrion: "I'd like to hear about it.
Bran: "It's a long story."
Tyrion: "If only we were in a castle, in the middle of winter with nowhere to go." (Funny Line)
Bran: "Stranger than most."
Tyrion: "I'd like to hear about it.
Bran: "It's a long story."
Tyrion: "If only we were in a castle, in the middle of winter with nowhere to go." (Funny Line)
34:58
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
to Jaime: "I wish father were here. I would love to see the look on his face when he realizes his two sons are about to die defending Winterfell."
(Funny Line)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
35:33
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
to Tyrion: "It wasn't so simple. I was sleeping with my sister, and you had one friend in the world - who was sleeping with his sister."
(Funny Line)
36:17
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Brienne: "We didn't meant to interrupt, we were just looking for someplace warm to-"
Tyrion: "-to contemplate your imminent death. You've come to the right place." (Funny Line)
Tyrion: "-to contemplate your imminent death. You've come to the right place." (Funny Line)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
37:26
(+3)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Tyrion: "Would you like a drink?"
Tormund: "Brought my own." [holds up horn of weird milk] (Funny Line)
Tormund: "Brought my own." [holds up horn of weird milk] (Funny Line)
37:35
(+3)
Tormund Giantsbane:
The telephone game of Westerosi epithets makes its way to Tormund.
to Jaime: "They call you Kingkiller." (Funny Line)
to Jaime: "They call you Kingkiller." (Funny Line)
38:27
(+3)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Tormund tells the story of his name, Giantsbane.
"They call me Giantsbane. Want to know why?
I killed a giant when I was 10. Then I climbed right into bed with his wife.
When she woke up, you know what she did? Suckled me at her teat for three months.
Thought I was her baby. That's how I got so strong. Giant's milk." (Funny Line)
"They call me Giantsbane. Want to know why?
I killed a giant when I was 10. Then I climbed right into bed with his wife.
When she woke up, you know what she did? Suckled me at her teat for three months.
Thought I was her baby. That's how I got so strong. Giant's milk." (Funny Line)
46:04
(+3)
Tormund Giantsbane:
to Brienne: "I'm no King, but if I were, I'd knight you ten times over."
(Funny Line)
51:19
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Tyrion: "How about a song? One of you must know one. Ser Davos?"
Davos: "You'll pray for a quick death. (Funny Line)
Davos: "You'll pray for a quick death. (Funny Line)
Glasses of Wine Consumed
34:50
(+5)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion drinks in front of the fireplace at Winterfell as he chats with Jaime. "I wish father were here."
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
36:08
(+5)
Jaime Lannister:
Tyrion raises a toast - "to the perils of self-betterment" and Jaime just gets his lips on the cup as Brienne and Podrick barge in.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
36:41
(+5)
Podrick Payne:
Podrick gulps down the overflowing full cup of wine poured by Tyrion.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
38:27
(+5)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Tormund shotguns his entire horn of "giants' milk" as it pours down all over his beard to the dismay of Davos and others.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
submitted by alicehanners (approved!)
45:50
(+5)
Jaime Lannister:
Jaime refills his cup as the fireplace crew talks about the sexism of knighthood in Westeros.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
51:10
(+5)
Podrick Payne:
Podrick drinks the last of his cup after Davos declares, "we're out of wine."
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
A Game of Thrones
30:43
(+1)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion sits down to hear Bran's story.
Bran: "It's a long story."
Tyrion: "If only we were in a castle, in the middle of winter with nowhere to go." (Basic Seat)
Bran: "It's a long story."
Tyrion: "If only we were in a castle, in the middle of winter with nowhere to go." (Basic Seat)
34:50
(+1)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion sits in a chair by the fireplace at Winterfell, chatting with Jaime. "I wish father were here."
(Basic Seat)
34:50
(+1)
Jaime Lannister:
Jaime sits in front of the fireplace in Winterfell with Tyrion.
(Basic Seat)
36:55
(+1)
Jaime Lannister:
Jaime sits back down on his chair after inviting their new guests around the fireplace.
(Basic Seat)
37:55
(+1)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Tormund sits down to regale the fireplace crew with the story of how he was named Giantsbane.
(Basic Seat)
51:06
(+1)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion sits as Davos declares "we're out of wine" to the fireplace crew.
(Basic Seat)
51:06
(+1)
Jaime Lannister:
Tyrion sits as Davos declares "we're out of wine" to the fireplace crew.
(Basic Seat)
51:10
(+1)
Podrick Payne:
Podrick is sitting as Davos declares "we're out of wine" to the fireplace crew.
(Basic Seat)
51:10
(+1)
Davos Seaworth:
Davos sits as he declares "we're out of wine" to the fireplace crew.
(Basic Seat)
51:10
(+1)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Tormund is sitting as Davos declares "we're out of wine" to the fireplace crew.
(Basic Seat)
Special
15:42
(+3)
Podrick Payne:
Podrick impresses in a sparring session on the training grounds at Winterfell.
Jaime: "He's come a long way."
Brienne: "He's alright. Still has a lot to learn." (Special)
Jaime: "He's come a long way."
Brienne: "He's alright. Still has a lot to learn." (Special)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
25:55
(+3)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Tormund greets Jon with a bear tackle and calls him "My little Crow."
(Special)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
30:05
(+9)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Tormund gives the eye to Brienne during the battle planning meeting (3 seconds)
"We're all going to die... but at least we die together." (Special)
"We're all going to die... but at least we die together." (Special)
37:11
(+18)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Tormund stares at Brienne as he enters the fireplace room (6 cumulative seconds staring at Brienne). She stares back.
"It could be our last night in this world, you know?" (Special)
"It could be our last night in this world, you know?" (Special)
49:02
(+3)
Lyanna Mormont:
Lyanna tells off Jorah Mormont for trying to convince her to stay safe in the crypts.
Lyanna: "I have trained my men, women and children. I have fought before. I can fight again.
JORAH: "Please, listen to me. You're the future of our house."
LYANNA: "I don't need you to remind me of that."
Jorah: "You'll be safer in the crypt. These things we're fighting-
Lyanna: "I will not hide underground. I pledged to fight for the North - and I will fight."
Samwell, interrupting: "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"
Lyanna: "It's all right. We're done here." (Special)
Lyanna: "I have trained my men, women and children. I have fought before. I can fight again.
JORAH: "Please, listen to me. You're the future of our house."
LYANNA: "I don't need you to remind me of that."
Jorah: "You'll be safer in the crypt. These things we're fighting-
Lyanna: "I will not hide underground. I pledged to fight for the North - and I will fight."
Samwell, interrupting: "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"
Lyanna: "It's all right. We're done here." (Special)
51:37
(+3)
Podrick Payne:
After he gets passed over by the group as Tyrion Lannister entreats a song, Podrick surprises the group with his rich and moving rendition of the ballad, "Jenny of Oldstones".
(Special)
submitted by coreymarkhembree (approved!)
The Feels
24:38
(+5)
Davos Seaworth:
Davos encounters a Northern girl with a scarred face, much like Shireen Baratheon's.
Nothern girl: "Which way should I go?"
Davos: "Which way do you want to go?" (Sad Feels)
Nothern girl: "Which way should I go?"
Davos: "Which way do you want to go?" (Sad Feels)
25:52
(+3)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Tormund bear tackles Jon Snow in the courtyard as the Beyond-the-Wall gang reunites in Winterfell.
(Funny Line)
Grey Worm and Missandei make plans for summer vacation after the war is done.
Missandei: "My people are peaceful. We cannot protect ourselves."
Grey Worm: "My people are not peaceful. We will protect you." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
Missandei: "My people are peaceful. We cannot protect ourselves."
Grey Worm: "My people are not peaceful. We will protect you." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
38:27
(+3)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Tormund shotguns his entire horn of "giants' milk" as it pours down all over his beard to the dismay of Davos and others.
(Ridiculously Funny Moment)
47:37
(+5)
Jaime Lannister:
Jaime knights Brienne of Tarth
"In the name of the Warrior, I charge you to be brave.
In the name of the Father, I charge you to be just.
In the name of the Mother, I charge you to defend the innocent.
Arise, Brienne of Tarth - a knight of the Seven Kingdoms." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
"In the name of the Warrior, I charge you to be brave.
In the name of the Father, I charge you to be just.
In the name of the Mother, I charge you to defend the innocent.
Arise, Brienne of Tarth - a knight of the Seven Kingdoms." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
51:00
(+5)
Podrick Payne:
Podrick delivers a heartfelt rendition of the ballad, "Jenny of Oldstones":
"High in the halls of the Kings who are gone
Jenny would dance with her ghosts
The ones she had lost and the ones she had found
And the ones who had loved her the most
The ones who'd been gone for so very long
She couldn't remember their names
They spun her around on the damp old stones
Spun away all her sorrow and pain
And she never wanted to leave
Never wanted to leave...
Never wanted to leave...
Never wanted to leave...
Never wanted to leave...
Never wanted to leave..." (Sad Feels)
"High in the halls of the Kings who are gone
Jenny would dance with her ghosts
The ones she had lost and the ones she had found
And the ones who had loved her the most
The ones who'd been gone for so very long
She couldn't remember their names
They spun her around on the damp old stones
Spun away all her sorrow and pain
And she never wanted to leave
Never wanted to leave...
Never wanted to leave...
Never wanted to leave...
Never wanted to leave...
Never wanted to leave..." (Sad Feels)