Tyrion Lannister
Passcode Test
drafted by right pw
* +1 point each time he is denied a drink
* +1 point whenever he physically gives someone a coin (or other legal tender)
Raw Stats
| Total | Kills | Politics | Insults | Wine | Sex | Thrones | Deaths | Special | Feels |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 144 | 2 | 30 | 66 | 35 | 5 | 0 | 0 | 6 | 0 |
Event Log
Kills
50:00
(+2)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion hacks off a soldier's foot and kills him with his axe.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
Political Wins
28:19
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion strips Janos Slynt of his titles and exiles him to the Night's Watch. "There's a ship leaving for Eastwatch-by-the-Sea tonight. From there I'm afraid it's rather a long walk to Castle Black."
(Politics - uncategorized)
41:21
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion orders Grand Maester Pycelle to be thrown into the dungeons of King's Landing.
(Politics - uncategorized)
11:07
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion interrupts the court and stops Joffrey's public beating of Sansa Stark.
(Politics - uncategorized)
43:15
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion exposes Lancel Lannister's incest with Cersei.
Lancel: "Your own father, Lord Tywin, when I was named the King's squire, he told me to obey her in everything."
Tyrion: "Did he tell you to fuck her, too?" (Politics - uncategorized)
Lancel: "Your own father, Lord Tywin, when I was named the King's squire, he told me to obey her in everything."
Tyrion: "Did he tell you to fuck her, too?" (Politics - uncategorized)
44:08
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion gains Lancel as a follower after blackmailing him with his knowledge of his affair with Cersei.
(Politics - uncategorized)
11:20
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion discover's Cersei's wildfire plans through Lancel.
(Politics - uncategorized)
32:37
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion recruits Halyne the Pyromancer: "You won't be making wildfire for my sister any longer. You'll be making it for me."
(Politics - uncategorized)
28:00
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion wins the first phase of the Battle of the Blackwater, blowing out a huge portion of Stannis' fleet with a massive wildfire explosion.
(Politics - uncategorized)
44:33
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion's speech rouses the troops after Joffrey abandoned them.
"They say I'm half a man. But what does that make the lot of you? The only way out is through the gates. And they're at the gates.
There's another way out. I'm going to show you. We'll come out behind them and fuck them in their asses.
Don't fight for your king and don't fight for his kingdoms. Don't fight for honor. Don't fight for glory. Don't fight for riches, because you won't get any. This is your city Stannis means to sack. That's your gate he's ramming. If he gets in, it will be your houses he burns, your gold he steals, your women he will rape.
Those are brave me knocking at our door. Let's go kill them!" (Politics - uncategorized)
"They say I'm half a man. But what does that make the lot of you? The only way out is through the gates. And they're at the gates.
There's another way out. I'm going to show you. We'll come out behind them and fuck them in their asses.
Don't fight for your king and don't fight for his kingdoms. Don't fight for honor. Don't fight for glory. Don't fight for riches, because you won't get any. This is your city Stannis means to sack. That's your gate he's ramming. If he gets in, it will be your houses he burns, your gold he steals, your women he will rape.
Those are brave me knocking at our door. Let's go kill them!" (Politics - uncategorized)
50:28
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion wins the third phase of the battle, successfully leading a counterattack by sneaking through the tunnels and flanking Stannis' forces, destroying his siege weapons.
(Politics - uncategorized)
Insults Delivered / Funny Lines
12:01
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
to Cersei: "You love your children. It's your one redeeming quality. That and your cheekbones."
(Funny Line)
10:00
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
after Cersei tears up Robb Stark's peace terms: "You've perfected the art of tearing up papers."
(Witty Insult)
27:35
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
to Janos Slynt: "I'm not questioning your honor, Lord Janos. I'm denying its existence."
(Witty Insult)
46:19
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Cersei: "You've never taken it seriously! You haven't, Jaime hasn't! ... it's all fallen on me."
Tyrion: "As has Jaime, repeatedly, according to Stannis Baratheon." (Witty Insult)
Tyrion: "As has Jaime, repeatedly, according to Stannis Baratheon." (Witty Insult)
40:28
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
to Grand Maester Pycelle: "Cut off his manhood and feed it to the goats."
(Threat)
11:40
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Ser Meryn Trant: "No one threatens His Grace in the presence of the Kingsguard."
Tyrion: "I'm not threatening the King, Ser. I am educating my nephew. Bronn, the next time Ser Meryn speaks, kill him. That was a threat. See the difference?" (Threat)
Tyrion: "I'm not threatening the King, Ser. I am educating my nephew. Bronn, the next time Ser Meryn speaks, kill him. That was a threat. See the difference?" (Threat)
10:26
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
to Cersei: "Myrcella is a sweet, innocent girl and I don't blame her at all for you."
(Witty Insult)
10:31
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Cersei: "Aren't you always so clever with your schemes and your plots?"
Tyrion: "Schemes and plots are the same thing." (Funny Line)
Tyrion: "Schemes and plots are the same thing." (Funny Line)
11:41
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
to Lancel: "Tell me, if the vile allegations against my brother and sister are true, do you think it will make Jaime more likely to kill you or less likely? When I tell him you're fucking her, I mean."
(Threat)
12:23
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Lancel: "I swear to you."
Tyrion: "Swear to me on what?"
Lancel: "On my life."
Tyrion: "But I don't care about your life." (Funny Line)
Tyrion: "Swear to me on what?"
Lancel: "On my life."
Tyrion: "But I don't care about your life." (Funny Line)
16:10
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Bronn: "What about your father?"
Tyrion: "He hasn't sent a raven in weeks. He's very busy. Being repeatedly humiliated by Robb Stark is time-consuming." (Witty Insult)
Tyrion: "He hasn't sent a raven in weeks. He's very busy. Being repeatedly humiliated by Robb Stark is time-consuming." (Witty Insult)
29:21
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
"We've had vicious kings and we've had idiot kings, but I don't know if we've ever been cursed with a vicious idiot for a king!"
(Witty Insult)
29:37
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Joffrey: "YOU'RE TALKING TO A KING!!!"
Tyrion: [SLAPS Joffrey] "...and now I've struck a King. Did my hand fall from my wrist?" (Witty Insult)
Tyrion: [SLAPS Joffrey] "...and now I've struck a King. Did my hand fall from my wrist?" (Witty Insult)
30:01
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Cersei: "Do you know why Varys is so dangerous? ... Because he doesn't have a cock."
Tyrion: "Neither do you." (Witty Insult)
Tyrion: "Neither do you." (Witty Insult)
30:45
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Cersei: "...because I have your little whore."
Tyrion: "I thought you preferred blondes." (Funny Line)
Tyrion: "I thought you preferred blondes." (Funny Line)
33:39
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
to Cersei: "I will hurt you for this. A day will come when you think you're safe and happy and your joy will turn to ashes in your mouth. And you will know the debt is paid."
(Threat)
47:21
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Joffrey: "They say Stannis never smiles. I'll give him a red smile from ear to ear."
Tyrion to Varys behind Joffrey's back: "Imagine Stannis' terror." (Witty Insult)
Tyrion to Varys behind Joffrey's back: "Imagine Stannis' terror." (Witty Insult)
49:03
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
"The Lord of Light wants his enemies burned, the Drowned God wants them drowned. Why are all the Gods such vicious cunts? Where is the God of tits and wine?"
(Funny Line)
13:43
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Varys: "I've always hated the bells. They ring for horror... a dead king, a city under siege."
Tyrion: "...a wedding." (Funny Line)
Tyrion: "...a wedding." (Funny Line)
21:17
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Joffrey: "If I tell the Hound to cut you in half, he'll do it without a second thought."
Tyrion: "That would make me the Quarterman. It just doesn't have the same ring to it." (Funny Line)
Tyrion: "That would make me the Quarterman. It just doesn't have the same ring to it." (Funny Line)
41:15
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
to the Hound after he retreats from the battle and takes a wine break: "Can I get you some iced milk and a nice bowl of raspberries, too?"
(Witty Insult)
Glasses of Wine Consumed
7:57
(+5)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion drinks after making his entrance at Joffrey's nameday celebration.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
10:28
(+5)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion pours himself a glass of wine upon arrival at the Small Council meeting.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
26:06
(+5)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion drinks during the meeting with Janos Slynt.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
29:17
(+5)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion drinks while convincing Petyr Baelish to broker an agreement to marry off Myrcella Baratheon to Robin Arryn, the heir to the Vale.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
30:24
(+5)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion sips from his glass while talking with Cersei after dinner.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
Acts of Intercourse
8:04
(+5)
Tyrion Lannister:
Sex with Shae on the eve of the battle.
Tyrion: "I'm a Lannister. I don't have a choice in all this. But it's not your war."
Shae: "It is now." (Act of Intercourse)
Tyrion: "I'm a Lannister. I don't have a choice in all this. But it's not your war."
Shae: "It is now." (Act of Intercourse)
Special
41:30
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion pays the frightened Daisy after he interrupts her session with Maester Pycelle to arrest him.
(Special)
41:42
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion adds a second coin to Daisy's payment after watching Maester Pycelle dragged off.
(Special)