Matchup: JonsNotDead vs Stannis2016 - Make Westeros Great Again for Ep 7

JonsNotDead (adam.moore402)

Character	Drafted	Total	Kills	Politics	Insults	Wine	Sex	Deaths	Special
Bronn A former sellsword, who has risen through the ranks of nobility thanks to his fighting skills and work for the Lannisters. He recently accompanied Jaime Lannister on a sensitive diplomatic mission to Dorne to rescue the Princeess Myrcella Baratheon.	#19	21	0	0	15	0	0	0	6
Jaime Lannister The second of the Lannister children, he is Cersei's lover and twin brother, and also the father of her three bastard children, the supposed sons and daughters of the late King Robert Baratheon. He also serves as Lord Commander of the Kingsguard, and recently returns from a mission to Dorne to rescue his daughter/niece, Myrcella Baratheon.	#6	20	5	6	6	0	0	0	3
Yara Greyjoy Theon's older sister, Yara was raised on the Iron Islands as a true Ironborn. She is a fearsome fighter and commands a longship of her own.	#31	13	0	0	3	5	5	0	0
Alliser Thorne A former master-of-arms and acting Commander of the Night's Watch, Thorne narrowly lost the Lord Commander choosing to Jon Snow in S5. He later led a mutiny of disgruntled Night's Watch members against Jon Snow, stabbing and leaving him for dead.	#30	1	0	0	0	0	0	1	0
Khal Moro The leader of a new Khalasar of Dothraki.	#43	1	0	0	0	0	0	1	0
Grey Worm The leader of the Unsullied - a highly-trained army of freed slaves who serve Daenerys Targaryen.	#7	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
Eddard Stark The long-deceased head of House Stark. There are rumors that he may make a reappearance in flashback form for S6.	#42	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
White Walker (Night King) The leader of the White Walkers.	#18	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
Totals		56	5	6	24	5	5	2	9

Stannis2016 - Make Westeros Great Again (stuartporter9482)

Character	Drafted	Total	Politics	Insults	Deaths
Olenna Redwyne (Grandma Tyrell) The matriarch of House Tyrell, Olenna is the grandmother of Margaery and Loras. She is known as the "Queen of Thorns" for her sarcasm and wit.	#41	12	0	12	0
Davos Seaworth Ser Davos is a knight serving Stannis Baratheon, and one of his most trusted advisors. He is often at odds with the Red Priestess Melisandre.	#5	6	3	3	0
Margaery Tyrell The wife of King Tommen Baratheon and Queen of the Seven Kingdoms. Her increasing influence over the young king have put at her odds against his mother, Cersei Lannister.	#32	6	6	0	0
High Sparrow The leader of the Sparrows, a religious movement within the Faith of the Seven. After being appointed as High Septon by Cersei Lannister, he has lead a sweeping inquiry to root out moral corruption in King's Landing, imprisoning Loras Tyrell, Margaery Tyrell, and Cersei Lannister.	#20	3	0	3	0
Bran Stark The fourth of the Stark children. A greenseer and a warg, Bran has mystical visions of the future and the ability to leap into the minds of others to control them - power he is only beginning to tap into. His journeys north of the Wall have recently led him to the cave of the Three-eyed Raven and the Children of the Forest.	#17	1	0	0	1
Randyll Tarly Samwell Tarly's disapproving father. He is the Lord of House Tarly, and was one of the greatest soldiers in Westeros.	#44	0	0	0	0
Lancel Lannister A cousin to the Lannister children. In a past life he was a stuttering servant to King Robert Baratheon and secret consort to his cousin Queen Cersei Lannister. Lancel now serves as a leading member of the Sparrows, a dangerously militant religious group whose power over King's Landing is growing.	#29	0	0	0	0
Gregor Clegane (The Mountain) A knight and the head of House Clegane, bannermen to the Lannisters. He defeated Prince Oberyn Martell in a trial by combat for Tyrion Lannister's role in King Joffrey's death, although he was gravely injured in the fight. He appears to have recovered (in some form) under Grand Maester Qyburn's care, and returns to serve as a member of the Kingsguard.	#8	0	0	0	0
Totals		28	9	18	1

Kills

21:39 (+2) Jaime Lannister:

Jaime clobbers Black Walder with his golden hand, leaving him with a severe bruise to the cheek.

Jaime: "Only a fool makes threats he's not prepared to carry out. Now let's say I threatened to hit you unless you shut your mouth, but you kept talking. What do you think I'd do?"
Black Walder: "I don't give a rat's-" *smack* (Minor Injury of Named Character)

submitted by bookworm13457 (approved!)

Personally I'm a bit in agreement with Alice from the original thread... the damage seems a little weak even for the "minor" subcategory. "Major" is reserved for permanent injuries (e.g. losing a hand), and most of the examples of minor injury have been more severe... Arya got the sticks knocked out of her by the Waif for example. Should we require some visible signs of injury for the minor category (visible bleeding or bruising)? -nyan

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2016 Jun 7
There are visible signs of injury. Posted evidence in the other thread, but here's the after again: http://imgur.com/O0Sf1DW -nsimmonds

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2016 Jun 7 as38, Laxis, golub.jake, nyan, 4 others like this
If anything there are more visible signs here than with Arya. -nsimmonds

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2016 Jun 7 Laxis and golub.jake like this
I was thinking the same thing, there have been even more "minor" hits on Arya that were counted for waif, I don't see why being struck by a metal object into the face (!) shouldn't count as minor injury, especially when taking a look at that screenshot -Laxis

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2016 Jun 7 dopeghoti, golub.jake, wpearsal, taylorreneegoodrich, 2 others like this
Waif gets points for a stick hit.. but jaimie wacks with solid gold hand no points? -golub.jake

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2016 Jun 7 nsimmonds likes this

21:45 (+3) Jaime Lannister:

Jaime acquires Edmure Tully as his prisoner after taking over the Siege of Riverrun. (New Follower/Prisoner)

submitted by nyan (approved!)

Political Wins

11:14 (+3) Margaery Tyrell:

Instead of bringing Olenna Tyrell in to repent for her sins, as she had promised the High Sparrow, Margaery secretly tips off her grandmother of her imminent danger in King's Landing, convincing her to leave the city. (Act of Betrayal)

submitted by lize1017 (approved!)

11:16 (+3) Margaery Tyrell:

Margaery convinces her grandmother Olenna to leave King's Landing for her own safety: "Go home. Find comfort in prayer and good works. The Mother watches over us all." (Convincing Argument)

21:55 (+6) Jaime Lannister:

Lothar Frey and Black Walder find themselves under Jaime Lannister's command as he arrives to take over the siege forces surrounding Riverrun. (New Follower/Prisoner)

26:31 (+3) Davos Seaworth:

After Jon Snow and Sansa Stark prove unconvincing, Davos convinces the young Lyanna Mormont to rally against the Bolton army. "Because Jeor Mormont and Jon Snow both understood that the real war isn't between a few squabbling houses. It's between the living and the dead. And make no mistake, my lady, the dead are coming ... As long as the Boltons hold Winterfell, the North is divided. And a divided North won't stand a chance against the Night King." (Convincing Argument)

Insults Delivered / Funny Lines

9:22 (+3) High Sparrow:

to Margaery: "The Queen of Thorns is a remarkable woman, a strong woman. And an unrepentant sinner. You must teach her the new one, as she taught you the old, or I fear for her safety, body and soul." (Threat)

9:44 (+3) Olenna Redwyne (Grandma Tyrell):

remaking on Septa Unella: "Does it move or talk?" (Witty Insult)

submitted by ace75318 (approved!)

9:55 (+3) Olenna Redwyne (Grandma Tyrell):

to Septa Unella: "You're now in your sanctuary now, my dear. All I have to do is whistle and my men will stroll you in here and bash you about until I tell them to stop... *if* I tell them to stop." (Threat)

16:14 (+3) Olenna Redwyne (Grandma Tyrell):

to Cersei: "I wonder if you're the worst person I've ever met. At a certain age it's hard to recall. But the truly vile do stand out through the years." (Witty Insult)

17:16 (+3) Olenna Redwyne (Grandma Tyrell):

Olenna: "You've lost, Cersei. It's the only joy I could find in all this misery." (Witty Insult)

18:15 (+3) Jaime Lannister:

Bronn: "Now that is a sorry attempt at a siege. Someone needs to teach those sad twats how to dig trenches."
Jaime: "Someone certainly does." (Funny Line)

18:25 (+3) Bronn:

Bronn: "Oh no, not me. I'm just an upjump sellsword."
Jaime: "You're an anointed knight, there's quite a difference."
Bronn: "Aye, knights don't get paid." (Funny Line)

18:33 (+3) Bronn:

Jaime: "You have better instincts than any officer in the Lannister army."
Bronn: "That's like saying I have a bigger cock than anyone in the Unsullied army." (Witty Insult)

18:57 (+3) Bronn:

Jaime: "And you'll get all three. A Lannister always pa-"
Bronn: "Don't say it. Don't fookin' say it..." (Funny Line)

submitted by nyan (approved!)

21:03 (+3) Bronn:

Lothar Frey: "Ser Jaime, we didn't know you were coming."
Jaime Lannister: "Because you didn't set a proper perimeter."
Bronn: "Good thing we're friends, or we'd be fucking you in the ass right now." (Witty Insult)

submitted by nyan (approved!)

21:29 (+3) Jaime Lannister:

to Black Walder: "Only a fool makes threats he's not prepared to carry out. Now let's say I threatened to hit you unless you shut your mouth, but you kept talking. What do you think I'd do?" (Threat)

submitted by nsimmonds (approved!)

22:22 (+3) Bronn:

Jaime: "Get word to the Blackfish. I want a parley."
Bronn: "A parley or a fight?"
Jaime: "He's an old man."
Bronn: "You've got one hand. My money's on the old boy." (Witty Insult)

27:51 (+3) Davos Seaworth:

on the 62 Mormont soldiers: "If they're half as ferocious as their Lady, the Boltons are doomed." (Funny Line)

submitted by Laxis (approved!)

How is this funny? He's complimenting her, not mocking her. -alicehanners

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2016 Jun 9
Why does it have to be mocking for it to be funny? It's a funny line, not an insult -Laxis

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2016 Jun 9 righteous likes this
Why does it have to be mocking for it to be funny? It's a funny line, not an insult -Laxis

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2016 Jun 9
I thought it a particularly funny jab and a wink to the viewer about Ramsay's "twenty good men." -dopeghoti

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2016 Jun 12 Laxis and righteous like this
It's funny because I burst out laughing even knowing it was coming -righteous

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2016 Jun 30

35:09 (+3) Yara Greyjoy:

to Theon: "Nothing on the Iron Islands has an ass like that. Doesn't interest you anymore?"
(Witty Insult)

submitted by cmwalken15 (approved!)

Glasses of Wine Consumed

35:36 (+5) Yara Greyjoy:

Yara drinks while giving a pep talk to Theon. (Glass of Wine Consumed)

Acts of Intercourse

37:28 (+5) Yara Greyjoy:

Yara wanders off with a whore in Volantis. "Now, since it's my last night ashore for a long while, I'm gonna go fuck the tits off this one." (Act of Intercourse)

Deaths

+1 for Bran Stark, +1 for Alliser Thorne, +1 for Khal Moro

Special

18:15 (+3) Bronn:

"Now that is a sorry attempt at a siege. Someone needs to teach those sad twats how to dig trenches." (Special)

21:39 (+3) Jaime Lannister:

Jaime smacks Black Walder with his golden hand as he gives a lesson on threats.

Jaime: "Only a fool makes threats he's not prepared to carry out. Now let's say I threatened to hit you unless you shut your mouth, but you kept talking. What do you think I'd do?"
Black Walder: "I don't give a rat's-" *smack* (Special)

11 more comments - see full thread

That is irrefutable evidence that Black Walder was injured physically by Jaime's attack. Basically Oberyn 2.0 /s -10100100101

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2016 Jun 7
To clarify, the Oberyn line was a joke but I do agree with nsimmonds about the minor injury to a named character. -10100100101

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2016 Jun 7 wpearsal likes this
top notch investigative work, @nsimmonds! -nyan

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2016 Jun 7

22:03 (+3) Bronn:

Bronn starts instructing the Frey forces on the proper siege preparations: "Have your lads start digging perimeter trenches. Set pickets every hundred yards. And work double-time on those siege towers and trebuchets." (Special)

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