Matchup: Band of Bad Pussies vs Casterly Rock Hard Bronners for Ep 5
/r/asoiaf
Kills
Jaime confirms the death of Olenna Tyrell from the poisoned wine she takes after the Tyrell defeat at Highgarden. "It was Olenna. She confessed before she died."
(Kill of Named Character (finished off from previously fatal injury))
Political Wins
25:34
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
After the latest rejected plea by Jon Snow to get Daenerys to assist in the war with the White Walkers, Tyrion convinces the team on a different course to try to unite all three monarchs together:
Jon Snow: "We'll fight with the men we have. Unless you'll join us."
Daenerys: "And give the country to Cersei? As soon as I march away, she marches in."
Tyrion: "Perhaps not. Cersei thinks the Army of the Dead is nothing but a story made up by wet nurses to frighten children. What if we prove her wrong?
Jon: "I don't think she'll come see the dead at my invitation."
Tyrion: "So bring the dead to her." (Convincing Argument)
Jon Snow: "We'll fight with the men we have. Unless you'll join us."
Daenerys: "And give the country to Cersei? As soon as I march away, she marches in."
Tyrion: "Perhaps not. Cersei thinks the Army of the Dead is nothing but a story made up by wet nurses to frighten children. What if we prove her wrong?
Jon: "I don't think she'll come see the dead at my invitation."
Tyrion: "So bring the dead to her." (Convincing Argument)
34:49
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Davos tracks down Gendry in King's Landing. "I wasn't sure I'd find you. Thought you might still be rowing. I looked in shops, taverns, brothels. Should have known to come straight to the Street of Steel."
(Secret Discovery)
35:49
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Davos has an easier time than expected convincing Gendry to leave King's Landing.
Gendry: "You came to get me. You want me to come with you."
Davos Seaworth: "Well, the thing you need to understand is-"
Gendry: "I'm ready. Let's go." (New Follower/Prisoner)
Gendry: "You came to get me. You want me to come with you."
Davos Seaworth: "Well, the thing you need to understand is-"
Gendry: "I'm ready. Let's go." (New Follower/Prisoner)
Gendry unveils the massive warhammer he's fashioned for himself. "I don't know much about swinging swords. But this... this I know."
(New Weapon)
41:13
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
After Tyrion and Jaime's secret meeting, Cersei agrees to the truce with Daenerys while they await for Jon to return with proof of the White Walker situation.
Cersei: "I've come to believe that an accommodation with the Dragon Queen could be in our immediate interest. She has the numbers. If we want to beat her, we have to be clever. We have to fight her like Father would have." (Deals Brokered)
Cersei: "I've come to believe that an accommodation with the Dragon Queen could be in our immediate interest. She has the numbers. If we want to beat her, we have to be clever. We have to fight her like Father would have." (Deals Brokered)
53:29
(+3)
Arya Stark:
Arya breaks into Littlefinger's chambers and discovers the hidden raven letter, a note from Sansa Stark while she was held captive in King's Landing, asking Robb Stark to come south and bend the knee.
(Secret Discovery)
Insults Delivered / Funny Lines
24:16
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion: "Who's that (raven letter) for?"
Varys: "Jon Snow."
Tyrion: "Did you read it?"
Varys: "It's a sealed scroll for the King in the North."
...
Tyrion: "What's it say?" (Funny Line)
Varys: "Jon Snow."
Tyrion: "Did you read it?"
Varys: "It's a sealed scroll for the King in the North."
...
Tyrion: "What's it say?" (Funny Line)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
31:25
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
after smuggling Tyrion through Blackwater Bay: "There's a path to the left that hugs the cliff. The guards hardly ever patrol it. Too many steps."
(Funny Line)
31:41
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Tyrion: "What if someone takes the boat?"
Davos: "Then we're fooked. Best hurry." (Funny Line)
Davos: "Then we're fooked. Best hurry." (Funny Line)
32:52
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Jaime: "I once told Bronn that if I ever saw you again, I'd cut you in half."
Tyrion: "...it'll take you a while with a sparring sword." (Funny Line)
Tyrion: "...it'll take you a while with a sparring sword." (Funny Line)
34:48
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
to Gendry: "I wasn't sure I'd find you. Thought you might still be rowing."
(Funny Line)
35:11
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Gendry: "Aren't you worried about the Gold Cloaks?"
Davos: "Haven't been here in years. Why should they recognize me? Sometimes I hardly do.
Nothing fucks you harder than time." (Funny Line)
Davos: "Haven't been here in years. Why should they recognize me? Sometimes I hardly do.
Nothing fucks you harder than time." (Funny Line)
37:33
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Gold Cloaks, after already accepting Davos' bribe: "What's in the boat?
Davos: "Not more gold." (Comeback)
Davos: "Not more gold." (Comeback)
37:58
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Davos explains the goods he's smuggling in his boat.
"Fermented crab. One bucket of this triples a brothel's earnings for the week. A man thinks he's done. He's ready to go back to his loving family. But before he gets his breeches up, his lady of the hour pops a tiny spoon of that into his mouth. Five minutes later, he's back in the race." (Funny Line)
"Fermented crab. One bucket of this triples a brothel's earnings for the week. A man thinks he's done. He's ready to go back to his loving family. But before he gets his breeches up, his lady of the hour pops a tiny spoon of that into his mouth. Five minutes later, he's back in the race." (Funny Line)
38:32
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
to the Gold Cloaks after giving them a free sample of the fermented crab: "I'd hurry to your favorite establishment, or you'll put a hole in that chainmail."
(Funny Line)
39:06
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
"I really wouldn't try any more until you see how the first bite hits you." (as the Gold Cloaks return to the boat of fermented crab to get a better look at Tyrion)
(Funny Line)
39:11
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
First Gold Cloak: "That dwarf..."
Second Gold Cloak: "Where'd you get that scar?"
Tyrion: "Fish hook. Some men you just can't teach." (Funny Line)
Second Gold Cloak: "Where'd you get that scar?"
Tyrion: "Fish hook. Some men you just can't teach." (Funny Line)
39:40
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Davos introduces Tyrion to Gendry, who has just smashed in the heads of two investigating Gold Cloaks.
Davos: "This is Gendry."
Tyrion: "He'll do." (Funny Line)
Davos: "This is Gendry."
Tyrion: "He'll do." (Funny Line)
Gendry bulldozes into his introduction with Jon Snow, after Davos warns him to do the exact opposite.
Davos: "The king's got a lot on his mind."
Gendry: "I understand."
Davos: "He doesn't need to be thinking about harboring the bastard of a dead king."
Gendry: "You don't have to worry."
Davos: "You're just Clovis, a smith who's come to pay his respects before he heads off to work at the Winterfell forges."
Gendry: "Understood."
...
Davos: "Your Grace, this is Clo-"
Gendry: "Name's Gendry, Your Grace. I'm Robert Baratheon's son. Bastard son." (Funny Line)
Davos: "The king's got a lot on his mind."
Gendry: "I understand."
Davos: "He doesn't need to be thinking about harboring the bastard of a dead king."
Gendry: "You don't have to worry."
Davos: "You're just Clovis, a smith who's come to pay his respects before he heads off to work at the Winterfell forges."
Gendry: "Understood."
...
Davos: "Your Grace, this is Clo-"
Gendry: "Name's Gendry, Your Grace. I'm Robert Baratheon's son. Bastard son." (Funny Line)
Jon Snow: "I saw your father once at Winterfell."
Gendry: "I met yours in my shop."
Jon: "You're a lot leaner."
Gendry: "And you're a lot shorter." (Funny Line)
Gendry: "I met yours in my shop."
Jon: "You're a lot leaner."
Gendry: "And you're a lot shorter." (Funny Line)
44:38
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Gendry: "I owe you my life. Twice over. But if what you said is true about what's up there, I can't wait out this war."
Davos: "Yep, nobody mind me. All I've ever done is live to a ripe old age." (Funny Line)
Davos: "Yep, nobody mind me. All I've ever done is live to a ripe old age." (Funny Line)
44:55
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
to Jorah Mormont: "You may not believe it, but I've missed you, Mormont. Nobody glowers quite like you. Not even Grey Worm."
(Witty Insult)
54:17
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Tormund: "Isn't it your job to talk him out of stupid fucking ideas like this?"
Davos: "I've been failing at that job of late. (Funny Line)
Davos: "I've been failing at that job of late. (Funny Line)
Glasses of Wine Consumed
23:03
(+5)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion drinks while discussing the burning of the Tarlys with Varys.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
24:11
(+5)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion drinks from the refill after Varys finishes off the cup of wine he was originally drinking.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
Deaths
Jaime confirms the death of Olenna Tyrell from the poisoned wine she takes after the Tyrell defeat at Highgarden. "It was Olenna. She confessed before she died."
(Death)
Special
45:27
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion hands the sentimental slaver's coin to Jorah, reminiscing briefly on their slave days in Meereen before Mormont leaves for Eastwatch.
(Special)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
The Feels
45:28
(+0)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion and Jorah share a brief reunion before Jorah sails off to the Wall on Jon's expedition to kidnap a wight..
Tyrion: "This is the coin the slaver gave me when I suggested he free us and pay us, remember?"
Jorah: "It was supposed to last us the rest of our lives."
Tyrion: "Take it with you. But bring it back. Our Queen needs you." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
Tyrion: "This is the coin the slaver gave me when I suggested he free us and pay us, remember?"
Jorah: "It was supposed to last us the rest of our lives."
Tyrion: "Take it with you. But bring it back. Our Queen needs you." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)