Matchup: Im the slut that Geoffrey killed with the crossbow vs Boners are Coming for Ep 5

Clash of Cocks

Im the slut that Geoffrey killed with the crossbow (eboyer208)

Character	Drafted	Total	Politics	Insults	Wine	Special
Petyr Baelish (Littlefinger) Lord Protector of the Vale, Littlefinger effectively controls the Knights of the Vale through the easily manipulated Robbin Arryn. He is a master manipulator who will stop at nothing for power.	#6	12	12	0	0	0
Samwell Tarly A steward of the Night's Watch, Samwell has been sent south to Oldtown to begin his training as a Maester. He is a close friend to Jon Snow, and one of the few people known to have killed a White Walker.	#22	12	3	6	0	3
Varys Formerly the Master of Whisperers in King's Landing, Varys now pulls the political strings for Daenerys Targaryen, arranging alliances with the Westerosi Houses Tyrell and Martell. He controls a vast network of spies.	#11	11	0	6	5	0
Jaime Lannister The second of the Lannister children, he is Cersei's lover and twin brother, and also the father of her three (now deceased) bastard children, the supposed sons and daughters of the late King Robert Baratheon. He also serves as Lord Commander of the Kingsguard.	#3	6	6	0	0	0
Qyburn The new Master of Whispers in King's Landing, loyally serving Queen Cersei Lannister. A disgraced former Maester, he engages in many scientific experiments in his dungeon lab	#19	0	0	0	0	0
Podrick Payne A squire in the service of Brienne of Tarth. He previously served as Tyrion Lannister's squire.	#27	0	0	0	0	0
Gregor Clegane (The Mountain) A knight and the head of House Clegane, he serves as a member of the Kingsguard and Cersei's personal muscle. He is a massive and impossibly strong warrior, although he remains speechless and zombie-like ever since being wounded in a Trial by Combat against Oberyn Martell.	#14	0	0	0	0	0
Meera Reed The eldest child of Howland Reed, bannerman to the Starks. She assists Bran in his journeys north of the Wall and is the only other surviving member of his party.	#30	0	0	0	0	0
Totals		41	21	12	5	3

Boners are Coming (dundundun69)

Character	Drafted	Total	Kills	Politics	Insults	Wine	Special
Daenerys Targaryen Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen, Mother of Dragons and Breaker of Chains. With her three dragons and army of Unsullied soldiers she carved out an empire of liberated slave cities in the east, and she now sets her sights westward as she sails for the Seven Kingdoms to reclaim the Iron Throne.	#1	35	20	12	0	0	3
Tyrion Lannister Quick to wit and even quicker to the drink, Tyrion is the youngest of three Lannister children. After being exiled by his sister Cersei, he has joined with Daenerys Targaryen, serving as her Hand of the Queen and most trusted adviser.	#8	34	0	6	15	10	3
Tormund Giantsbane Formerly a lieutenant of Mance Rayder, the King beyond the Wall, Tormund is now the de facto leader of the Wildlings and a reasoned voice in rallying them behind the cause of Jon Snow.	#17	24	0	12	12	0	0
Gendry A bastard son of Robert Baratheon, although this fact is not widely known (even to Gendry himself). After being captured by Melisandre, he is freed by Ser Davos and escaped Dragonstone by rowboat. His whereabouts are currently unknown, but he will likely emerge at some point with the swolest arms Westeros has ever seen.	#24	16	4	3	6	0	3
Yara Greyjoy Theon's older sister, Yara was raised on the Iron Islands as a true Ironborn. She is a fearsome fighter and commands a longship of her own. After her uncle Euron Greyjoy seizes control of the Iron Islands, she flees with Theon and her loyal troops to ally with Daenerys Targaryen, whose dragons and armies sail west to retake Westeros.	#25	0	0	0	0	0	0
Beric Dondarrion Lord of Blackhaven, bannermen to House Baratheon. He leads the Brotherhood Without Banners, an outlaw fighting group in the Riverlands.	#32	0	0	0	0	0	0
Grey Worm The leader of the Unsullied - a highly-trained army of freed slaves who serve Daenerys Targaryen.	#16	0	0	0	0	0	0
Brienne of Tarth A skilled fighter and heir to House Tarth. After swearing an oath to Catelyn Stark, she continues her mission to ensure the safety of the Stark girls.	#9	0	0	0	0	0	0
Totals		109	24	33	33	10	9

Kills

10:41 (+20) Daenerys Targaryen:

After they refuse to bend the knee, Daenerys has Randyll and Dickon Tarly executed by dragonfire.

"Lord Randyll Tarly, Dickon Tarly, I, Daenerys of House Targaryen, First of My Name, Breaker of Chains, and Mother of Dragons, sentence you to die. Dracarys." (Kill of Named Character)

The most amazing part of this is that Daenerys doesn't chortle while saying "Dickon Tarly". The composure of a true and rightful Queen of the Seven Kingdoms. -nyan

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2017 Aug 15 alicehanners, vjdev2015, Lem Lemoncake, WampaLord like this
They chose to die rather than bend the knee, not sure I agree with giving her kill credit -nickcota

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2017 Aug 15
These are the points that come direct from Drogon burning them (which are given to Daenerys due to her special). In keeping with the direct kills only change, Daenerys would not be getting any points simply for ordering the kill. -nyan

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2017 Aug 15

39:28 (+4) Gendry:

After Davos's charade begins to break down, Gendry brings out his warhammer to smash in the faces of the two investigating Gold Cloaks. (Kill of Unnamed Character)

Political Wins

7:15 (+6) Daenerys Targaryen:

Daenerys rounds up the Lannister prisoners in the aftermath of the battle, which include Randyll and Dickon Tarly. (New Follower/Prisoner)

She does say that she isn't putting people in chains, does this count? -hkeseyan

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2017 Aug 15
They all bent the knee theyre followers not prisoners -hindsight44

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2017 Aug 15
They're prisoners of war for the few hours post-battle. She decides she doesn't want to keep them around as prisoners, but the fact that she can make that decision about their fates shows that they are her prisoners I think. -nyan

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2017 Aug 15 jake.kmiech likes this
How does that then work with Jon and Davos? They're being held against their will, but she also says clearly that they are not her prisoners ("not yet"). -hkeseyan

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2017 Aug 15
It seems pretty easy to just ask the question in a pragmatic way - do the characters have any freedom of movement or action, or are they compelled to stay in the custody of another character? The Tarlys are clearly in Daenerys' custody, Jon/Davos were definitely floating close to it in the initial meeting (since they had their weapons and boat taken away too). -nyan

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2017 Aug 15 jake.kmiech and amaltazyan like this

9:32 (+3) Daenerys Targaryen:

Daenerys rejects Tyrion's pleas for mercy or alternative punishments for the Lannister army, choosing to burn those who will not bend.

"I meant what I said. I'm not here to put them in chains. If that becomes an option many will take it. I gave them a choice. They made it." (Executive Decision)

18:06 (+3) Daenerys Targaryen:

After getting that infection checked out at the Maester Clinic, Daenerys happily accepts Jorah Mormont back into service as her First Sword of the Friendzone.

Jorah: "I return to your service, my Queen, if you'll have me." (New Follower/Prisoner)

25:34 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:

After the latest rejected plea by Jon Snow to get Daenerys to assist in the war with the White Walkers, Tyrion convinces the team on a different course to try to unite all three monarchs together:

Jon Snow: "We'll fight with the men we have. Unless you'll join us."
Daenerys: "And give the country to Cersei? As soon as I march away, she marches in."
Tyrion: "Perhaps not. Cersei thinks the Army of the Dead is nothing but a story made up by wet nurses to frighten children. What if we prove her wrong?
Jon: "I don't think she'll come see the dead at my invitation."
Tyrion: "So bring the dead to her." (Convincing Argument)

32:25 (+3) Jaime Lannister:

Jaime is taken by Bronn to the dungeons beneath the Red Keep, where he finds his fugitive brother Tyrion who has arranged a meeting with him there. (Secret Discovery)

submitted by hindsight44 (approved!)

Dang, I am kind of regretting losing the "willfully told" provision. It was working as a decent catch-all to exclude a lot of stuff like this that does technically fit but we sort of know it is not a powerful secret that goes anywhere. Anyhow for consistency's sake I'll add it in, I feel like I want to do more thinking about Secrets next season. -nyan

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2017 Aug 15 Lem Lemoncake likes this
damned if you do, damned if you don't -hkeseyan

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2017 Aug 15
I think you should add the caveat that being willfully told a secret only counts if the only people who know the secret are the person telling the secret in the person being told secret. That still allows for secret discovery when it's not willingly told, but that puts an end to potential secret chains. What happens if Cersei told someone that Olenna killed Joffrey? What happens if that person tells them? Where does it end? -alicehanners

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2017 Aug 15 nyan likes this
*and the person, not in the person -alicehanners

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2017 Aug 15

36:24 (+3) Gendry:

Gendry unveils the massive warhammer he's fashioned for himself. "I don't know much about swinging swords. But this... this I know." (New Weapon)

41:13 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:

After Tyrion and Jaime's secret meeting, Cersei agrees to the truce with Daenerys while they await for Jon to return with proof of the White Walker situation.

Cersei: "I've come to believe that an accommodation with the Dragon Queen could be in our immediate interest. She has the numbers. If we want to beat her, we have to be clever. We have to fight her like Father would have." (Deals Brokered)

41:13 (+3) Jaime Lannister:

After Jaime and Tyrion's secret meeting, Cersei agrees to the truce with Daenerys while they await for Jon to return with proof of the White Walker situation.

Cersei: "I've come to believe that an accommodation with the Dragon Queen could be in our immediate interest. She has the numbers. If we want to beat her, we have to be clever. We have to fight her like Father would have." (Deals Brokered)

48:41 (+3) Samwell Tarly:

Samwell steals several books and records from the restricted area of the library and abandons the Citadel with Gilly and little Sam.

Gilly: "Are you sure you want to do this? You always wanted to be a Maester."
Samwell: "I'm tired of reading about the achievements of better men." (Act of Betrayal)

51:24 (+3) Petyr Baelish (Littlefinger):

Littlefinger acquires the only copy of a raven letter written by Sansa while she was in King's Landing, when she was compelled by Cersei to ask Robb Stark to come south and bend the knee.

Maester Wolkan: "I found it, my Lord. It took some searching. Maester Luwin's archives are very thorough."
Petyr: "You're sure this is the only copy in Winterfell?
Wolkan: "Yes, my Lord."
Petyr: "Lady Stark thanks you for your service." (Secret Discovery)

Ehhh. :| Secret? -xdwxrd

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2017 Aug 16
He already knew about this, how else would he ask for that specific letter? -hkeseyan

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2017 Aug 16
It does fall a little bit between Secret and acquiring a valuable item, like a weapon. He knows of the existence of the letter, but now he wields that information on concrete form which he can use to blackmail Sansa, influence the Northern lords, or sow the seeds of doubt to Arya. -nyan

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2017 Aug 16
it's not a secret but it is a Secret Discovery... the letter was clearly not known to exist among others in Winterfell. -pacelli929

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2017 Aug 17 nyan likes this
Yeah, it's not a secret discovery for 'this' character though. He's not discovering anything, why is he getting points for it. -xdwxrd

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2017 Aug 17
I could change it to "loot" which was a new subcategory added in another discussion about Cersei/Tycho acquiring the Tyrell gold and securing a new Iron Bank loan. I think people could agree it is like a New Weapon, but an informational one rather than a physical one? In any case the scores are the same. -nyan

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2017 Aug 18 jedjackoway likes this

51:24 (+6) Petyr Baelish (Littlefinger):

Littlefinger has been using Maester Wolkan to dig through the Winterfell archives, portraying it as a command by Sansa Stark.

Maester Wolkan: "I found it, my Lord. It took some searching. Maester Luwin's archives are very thorough."
Petyr: "You're sure this is the only copy in Winterfell?
Wolkan: "Yes, my Lord."
Petyr: "Lady Stark thanks you for your service." (Act of Betrayal)

53:54 (+3) Petyr Baelish (Littlefinger):

Littlefinger snoops from the shadows, having observed Arya Stark tracking him and breaking into his room. (Secret Discovery)

55:13 (+3) Tormund Giantsbane:

Jon arrives to Eastwatch, where Tormund has command of the castle, meeting with Jon and taking him to the prisoners his scouts found. (Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)

55:24 (+9) Tormund Giantsbane:

Tormund takes Jon to the three prisoners he has locked up underneath Eastwatch - Beric Dondarrion, Thoros, and Sandor Clegane.

"My scouts found them a mile south of the Wall. Said they were on their way here." (New Follower/Prisoner)

Insults Delivered / Funny Lines

23:05 (+3) Varys:

Tyrion: "She gave Tarly a choice, a man who had taken up arms against her. What else could she do?"
Varys: "Not burn him alive alongside his son?" (Funny Line)

24:16 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:

Tyrion: "Who's that (raven letter) for?"
Varys: "Jon Snow."
Tyrion: "Did you read it?"
Varys: "It's a sealed scroll for the King in the North."
...
Tyrion: "What's it say?" (Funny Line)

submitted by nyan (approved!)

24:16 (+3) Varys:

Tyrion: "Who's that (raven letter) for?"
Varys: "Jon Snow."
Tyrion: "Did you read it?"
Varys: "It's a sealed scroll for the King in the North."
...
Tyrion: "What's it say?"
Varys: "Nothing good." (Funny Line)

7 more comments - see full thread

Tyrion only imo. Tyrion calls out Varys after Varys already tried to be deceptive, he does all the legwork here -hkeseyan

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2017 Aug 16
id say both, its entirely possible for a joke to need two people to make it work. -hindsight44

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2017 Aug 17
Added in a score for Tyrion's response here: http://fantasora.com/event/3608

I'll say Varys' follow-up is good enough to count, even if Tyrion's was the climax of the punchline. -nyan

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2017 Aug 18

32:52 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:

Jaime: "I once told Bronn that if I ever saw you again, I'd cut you in half."
Tyrion: "...it'll take you a while with a sparring sword." (Funny Line)

39:11 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:

First Gold Cloak: "That dwarf..."
Second Gold Cloak: "Where'd you get that scar?"
Tyrion: "Fish hook. Some men you just can't teach." (Funny Line)

39:40 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:

Davos introduces Tyrion to Gendry, who has just smashed in the heads of two investigating Gold Cloaks.

Davos: "This is Gendry."
Tyrion: "He'll do." (Funny Line)

43:06 (+3) Gendry:

Gendry bulldozes into his introduction with Jon Snow, after Davos warns him to do the exact opposite.

Davos: "The king's got a lot on his mind."
Gendry: "I understand."
Davos: "He doesn't need to be thinking about harboring the bastard of a dead king."
Gendry: "You don't have to worry."
Davos: "You're just Clovis, a smith who's come to pay his respects before he heads off to work at the Winterfell forges."
Gendry: "Understood."
...
Davos: "Your Grace, this is Clo-"
Gendry: "Name's Gendry, Your Grace. I'm Robert Baratheon's son. Bastard son." (Funny Line)

43:22 (+3) Gendry:

Jon Snow: "I saw your father once at Winterfell."
Gendry: "I met yours in my shop."
Jon: "You're a lot leaner."
Gendry: "And you're a lot shorter." (Funny Line)

44:55 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:

to Jorah Mormont: "You may not believe it, but I've missed you, Mormont. Nobody glowers quite like you. Not even Grey Worm." (Witty Insult)

47:05 (+3) Samwell Tarly:

Gilly: "Guess how many windows are in the Great Sept of Baelor.
Sam: "None anymore." (Funny Line)

47:58 (+3) Samwell Tarly:

Sam goes on a rant to Gilly about the order of Maesters: "We can all become slavering, murderous imbeciles in thrall to evil incarnate as long as we can have access to the full records of High Septon Maynard's 15,782 shits!" (Witty Insult)

submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)

54:17 (+3) Tormund Giantsbane:

Tormund: "Isn't it your job to talk him out of stupid fucking ideas like this?"
Davos: "I've been failing at that job of late. (Funny Line)

54:25 (+3) Tormund Giantsbane:

Tormund: "How many queens are there now?"
Jon Snow: "Two."
Tormund: "And you need to convince the one with the dragons or the one who fucks her brother?" (Funny Line)

54:36 (+3) Tormund Giantsbane:

Tormund: "How many men did you bring?"
Jon: "Not enough."
Tormund: "The big woman?" (Funny Line)

54:53 (+3) Tormund Giantsbane:

Davos: "I'll be staying behind. I'm a liability out there, as you well know."
Tormund: "You are." (Funny Line)

Glasses of Wine Consumed

23:03 (+5) Tyrion Lannister:

Tyrion drinks while discussing the burning of the Tarlys with Varys. (Glass of Wine Consumed)

23:32 (+5) Varys:

Varys takes Tyrion wine cup and downs it while recollecting his days as the Mad Kind Aerys' adviser.

"I found the traitors, but I wasn't the one burning them alive. I was only a purveyor of information. It's what I told myself when I watched them beg for mercy - I'm not the one doing it. When the pitch of their screams rose higher - I'm not the one doing it. When their hair caught fire and the smell of their burning flesh filled the throne room - I'm not the one doing it." (Glass of Wine Consumed)

24:11 (+5) Tyrion Lannister:

Tyrion drinks from the refill after Varys finishes off the cup of wine he was originally drinking. (Glass of Wine Consumed)

Special

10:24 (+3) Daenerys Targaryen:

"Lord Randyll Tarly, Dickon Tarly, I, Daenerys of House Targaryen, First of My Name, Breaker of Chains, and Mother of Dragons, sentence you to die. Dracarys." (Special)

34:24 (+3) Gendry:

Gendry heats a new sword in the coals in the blacksmith shop. (Special)

45:27 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:

Tyrion hands the sentimental slaver's coin to Jorah, reminiscing briefly on their slave days in Meereen before Mormont leaves for Eastwatch. (Special)

submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)

46:49 (+3) Samwell Tarly:

Sam reads from a book as he transcribes it onto a fresh set of paper, before handing it over to Baby Sam. (Special)

submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)

The Feels

15:08 (+0) Daenerys Targaryen:

Jon Snow, secret Targaryen, shares a moment and boops le snoot of the fierce and beautiful - gorgeous!, actually - Drogon. (Warm Fuzzy Moment)

45:28 (+0) Tyrion Lannister:

Tyrion and Jorah share a brief reunion before Jorah sails off to the Wall on Jon's expedition to kidnap a wight..

Tyrion: "This is the coin the slaver gave me when I suggested he free us and pay us, remember?"
Jorah: "It was supposed to last us the rest of our lives."
Tyrion: "Take it with you. But bring it back. Our Queen needs you." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)

45:47 (+0) Daenerys Targaryen:

Daenerys says her goodbyes to Jorah once again, as she takes his hands into hers.

Daenerys: "We should be better at saying farewell by now."
Jorah: "Your Grace, I-" (stunned speechless by actual physical contact) (Warm Fuzzy Moment)

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