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Matchup: Thank you Jesus vs House Dirty Rob of Poopshire for Ep 3 | Fantasora

Matchup: Thank you Jesus vs House Dirty Rob of Poopshire for Ep 3

Battle of the Bastards

Thank you Jesus (suhas.sarma)

Character Drafted Total Kills Politics Insults Wine Sex Thrones Deaths Special Feels
Euron Greyjoy
The new King of the Iron Islands, after killing his brother Balon Greyjoy. He is described as cunning, ruthless, and with a touch of madness.
#10 30 0 9 12 0 0 0 0 9 0
Aeron Greyjoy
An uncle of Theon Greyjoy, who serves as a priest to the Drowned God.
#51 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Bronn
A former sellsword, who has risen through the ranks of nobility thanks to his fighting skills and work for the Lannisters. He has accompanied Jaime Lannister on his missions to Dorne and Riverrun.
#11 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Gendry
A bastard son of Robert Baratheon, although this fact is not widely known (even to Gendry himself). After being captured by Melisandre, he is freed by Ser Davos and escaped Dragonstone by rowboat. His whereabouts are currently unknown, but he will likely emerge at some point with the swolest arms Westeros has ever seen.
#30 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Septa Unella
A Septa who took exceptional pleasure in torturing Cersei Lannister while she was a prisoner of the Sparrows, ringing the shame! shame! shame! bell as she made her walk of atonement. She is now held as a prisoner of Cersei.
#50 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Ellaria Sand
The former paramour of Prince Oberyn. She is also the mother of several of his bastard children, known as the Sand Snakes, and plots revenge against the Lannisters for Oberyn's death. After assassinating Prince Doran and overtaking Dorne, she joins forces with Daenerys Targaryen as she sails west to retake the Iron Throne.
#31 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
High Priestess Kinvara
The High Priestess of the Red Temple in Volantis.
#71 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
High Priestess of the Dosh Khaleen
A priestess who leads the Dosh Khaleen, the widows of slain khals who preside over the holy city of Vaes Dothrak.
#70 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Totals 30 0 9 12 0 0 0 0 9 0

House Dirty Rob of Poopshire (kenneth.philipson)

Character Drafted Total Kills Politics Insults Wine Sex Thrones Deaths Special Feels
Jaime Lannister
The second of the Lannister children, he is Cersei's lover and twin brother, and also the father of her three (now deceased) bastard children, the supposed sons and daughters of the late King Robert Baratheon. He also serves as Lord Commander of the Kingsguard.
#6 52 0 21 0 5 20 0 0 6 0
Grey Worm
The leader of the Unsullied - a highly-trained army of freed slaves who serve Daenerys Targaryen.
#15 30 24 6 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Missandei
A freed slave from Astapor, who serves Daenerys as an advisor and translator.
#26 3 0 3 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Dickon Tarly
Samwell's younger, more physically formidable brother. He is the heir to House Tarly after Samwell was sent by his father to join the Night's Watch.
#55 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Salladhor Saan
A Pirate Lord from the Lys, a free city of Essos. He is an old friend of Ser Davos Seaworth and fought for Stannis in the Battle of the Blackwater.
#75 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Edmure Tully
Catelyn Stark's brother, and the heir to House Tully and Riverrun. He is held as a prisoner of Lord Walder Frey after the betrayal at the Red Wedding.
#46 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Yezzan zo Qaggaz (slave trader)
A slave trader from Yunkai. He briefly owns Jorah Mormont, who he brings to the fighting pits of Meereen, and is present during the slavers' attack on Meereen. He is the only slave master spared by Daenerys, who sends him to Astapor with a message for those who would oppose the Mother of Dragons.
#66 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Podrick Payne
A squire in the service of Brienne of Tarth. He previously served as Tyrion Lannister's squire.
#35 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Totals 85 24 30 0 5 20 0 0 6 0

Kills
53:50 (+2) Grey Worm :
Grey Worm slits the throat of a Lannister guard, after sneaking past the walls of Casterly Rock via the sewer tunnels. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
54:22 (+8) Grey Worm :
Leading the Unsullied, Grey Worm stabs two Lannister soldiers while charging the stairs, and smashes two more with his shield. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
54:29 (+14) Grey Worm :
At the top of the stairs, Grey Worm kills 7 Lannister soldiers, throwing his spear to impale the last one against a door. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Political Wins
0:00 (+3) Jaime Lannister:
After seizing Highgarden, the defeated Olenna Tyrell sits in her prisoner as a prisoner of Jaime Lannister. (New Follower/Prisoner)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
0:00 (+3) Euron Greyjoy:
With his succesful destruction of Yara Greyjoy's fleet and the "gift" of the captured Ellaria and Tyene Sand, Euron wins over Cersei and convinces her to ally with his Ironborn and accept his marriage proposal. (Convincing Argument)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
23:28 (+3) Euron Greyjoy:
Cersei accepts Euron Greyjoy's proposal of an alliance, appointing him as the head of the navy of the Seven Kindgoms. (New Title)
51:27 (+3) Missandei:
Missandei convinces Daenerys against flying out herself to hunt down Euron Greyjoy's Iron Fleet.

Tyrion: "You'd be flying around the open seas alone for who knows how long."
Daenerys: "I wouldn't be alone. I would have Drogon, Viserion, and Rhaegal. What can anyone do to them?"
Missandei: "They can still do something to you. It only takes one arrow." (Convincing Argument)
54:48 (+3) Grey Worm :
Grey Worm and his Unsullied step over the bodies of dead Lannister soldiers atop the walls at Casterly Rock, surveying their victory in taking the castle. (Victorious Battle)
54:48 (+3) Grey Worm :
Grey Worm and his Unsullied step over the bodies of dead Lannister soldiers atop the walls at Casterly Rock, surveying their victory in taking the castle. (Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
55:21 (+3) Euron Greyjoy:
As the Unsullied are busy attacking Casterly Rock, Euron's Iron Fleet ambushes their ships, destroying the Unsullied navy and cutting off any sea-based escape route in the process.

Jaime Lannister to Olenna Tyrell: "They won't be able to hold it (Casterly Rock). Euron Greyjoy's navy burned their ships, we emptied the larders before we left. Eventually, they'll be forced to abandon their position and march all the way across Westeros." (Victorious Battle)
55:56 (+3) Jaime Lannister:
Jaime's offer to Randyll Tarly to rebel against the Tyrells appears to have been accepted, as the Tarly's ride with the Lannister army on the assault on Highgarden. (Convincing Argument)
55:56 (+3) Jaime Lannister:
Randyll Tarly allies with the Lannisters, taking Jaime Lannister's offer to become Warden of the South and marching with the Lannister army against the Tyrells. (New Follower/Prisoner)
56:32 (+3) Jaime Lannister:
Jaime walks through the courtyards of Highgarden, where the Lannister army has been victorious in seizing the castle. (Victorious Battle)
56:32 (+3) Jaime Lannister:
Jaime walks through the courtyards of Highgarden, where the Lannister army has been victorious in seizing the castle. (Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
58:31 (+3) Jaime Lannister:
Jaime is in possession of the Valyrian steel sword, Widow's Wail. "How will you do it? With that sword? That was Joffrey's sword, wasn't it? Not that he ever used it. What did he call it?" Jaime: "Widow's Wail." (New Weapon)
61:26 (+3) Jaime Lannister:
In her dying moments, Olenna Tyrell reveals to Jaime that she was Joffrey's killer.

"I'd hate to die like your son. Clawing at my neck, foam and bile spilling from my mouth, eyes bloodred, skin purple. Must have been horrible for you, as a Kingsguard, as a father. It was horrible enough for me ... You see, I had never seen the poison work before. Tell Cersei. I want her to know it was me." (Secret Discovery)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Insults Delivered / Funny Lines
0:00 (+3) Euron Greyjoy:
to Yara, mocking Theon's reaction during their battle on her ship: "*Ohhh noooo!* What a twat." (Witty Insult)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
0:00 (+3) Euron Greyjoy:
to Jaime: "There's nothing like it is there, the love of the people ... but I suppose you wouldn't know". (Witty Insult)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
23:55 (+3) Euron Greyjoy:
Jaime Lannister: "...if you turn on us, they'll cheer to have your severed head mounted on a spike."
Euron: "Or yours. They just like severed heads, really." (Threat)
24:08 (+3) Euron Greyjoy:
to Jaime: "Does she like it gentle, or rough? A finger in the bum? Shh, shh, shh, shh, not now. We'll talk later." (Funny Line)
submitted by jbornstein89 (approved!)
Glasses of Wine Consumed
29:27 (+5) Jaime Lannister:
Jaime takes a drink in Cersei's chambers as we all try to collectively erase the imagery of Euron sticking Cersei with the pointy end. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Acts of Intercourse
30:10 (+20) Jaime Lannister:
Jaime gets his trousers dropped as Cersei is feeling extra thirsty after another exhilarating session of dungeon torturing her enemies. (Act of Intercourse)
Special
20:58 (+3) Euron Greyjoy:
to Yara: "Look at them, cheering for a Greyjoy. I have to be honest, this is making me hard." (Special)
22:57 (+3) Euron Greyjoy:
Cersei: "You've proven yourself the greatest captain of the Fourteen Seas." (Special)
24:08 (+3) Euron Greyjoy:
to Jaime: "Does she like it gentle, or rough? A finger in the bum? Shh, shh, shh, shh, not now. We'll talk later." (Special)
24:13 (+3) Jaime Lannister:
Euron asks Jaime for advice on pleasing Cersei: "Does she like it gentle, or rough? A finger in the bum? Shh, shh, shh, shh, not now. We'll talk later." (Special)
61:26 (+3) Jaime Lannister:
Olenna Tyrell: "I'd hate to die like your son. Clawing at my neck, foam and bile spilling from my mouth, eyes blood red, skin purple. Must have been horrible for you, as a Kingsguard, as a father." (Special)