Matchup: GayRod vs Imping Ain't Easy for Ep 5
Deadpool
Kills
Jaime confirms the death of Olenna Tyrell from the poisoned wine she takes after the Tyrell defeat at Highgarden. "It was Olenna. She confessed before she died."
(Kill of Named Character (finished off from previously fatal injury))
Political Wins
32:25
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Jaime is taken by Bronn to the dungeons beneath the Red Keep, where he finds his fugitive brother Tyrion who has arranged a meeting with him there.
(Secret Discovery)
submitted by hindsight44 (approved!)
Bronn finds Tyrion in the dungeons below the Red Keep, later arranging a secret meeting between him and Jaime.
(Secret Discovery)
submitted by hindsight44 (approved!)
34:49
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Davos tracks down Gendry in King's Landing. "I wasn't sure I'd find you. Thought you might still be rowing. I looked in shops, taverns, brothels. Should have known to come straight to the Street of Steel."
(Secret Discovery)
35:49
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Davos has an easier time than expected convincing Gendry to leave King's Landing.
Gendry: "You came to get me. You want me to come with you."
Davos Seaworth: "Well, the thing you need to understand is-"
Gendry: "I'm ready. Let's go." (New Follower/Prisoner)
Gendry: "You came to get me. You want me to come with you."
Davos Seaworth: "Well, the thing you need to understand is-"
Gendry: "I'm ready. Let's go." (New Follower/Prisoner)
Gendry unveils the massive warhammer he's fashioned for himself. "I don't know much about swinging swords. But this... this I know."
(New Weapon)
41:13
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
After Jaime and Tyrion's secret meeting, Cersei agrees to the truce with Daenerys while they await for Jon to return with proof of the White Walker situation.
Cersei: "I've come to believe that an accommodation with the Dragon Queen could be in our immediate interest. She has the numbers. If we want to beat her, we have to be clever. We have to fight her like Father would have." (Deals Brokered)
Cersei: "I've come to believe that an accommodation with the Dragon Queen could be in our immediate interest. She has the numbers. If we want to beat her, we have to be clever. We have to fight her like Father would have." (Deals Brokered)
48:41
(+3)
Samwell Tarly:
Samwell steals several books and records from the restricted area of the library and abandons the Citadel with Gilly and little Sam.
Gilly: "Are you sure you want to do this? You always wanted to be a Maester."
Samwell: "I'm tired of reading about the achievements of better men." (Act of Betrayal)
Gilly: "Are you sure you want to do this? You always wanted to be a Maester."
Samwell: "I'm tired of reading about the achievements of better men." (Act of Betrayal)
53:29
(+3)
Arya Stark:
Arya breaks into Littlefinger's chambers and discovers the hidden raven letter, a note from Sansa Stark while she was held captive in King's Landing, asking Robb Stark to come south and bend the knee.
(Secret Discovery)
55:13
(+3)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Jon arrives to Eastwatch, where Tormund has command of the castle, meeting with Jon and taking him to the prisoners his scouts found.
(Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
55:24
(+9)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Tormund takes Jon to the three prisoners he has locked up underneath Eastwatch - Beric Dondarrion, Thoros, and Sandor Clegane.
"My scouts found them a mile south of the Wall. Said they were on their way here." (New Follower/Prisoner)
"My scouts found them a mile south of the Wall. Said they were on their way here." (New Follower/Prisoner)
Insults Delivered / Funny Lines
to Jaime: "Listen to me, cunt. Until I get what I'm owed, a dragon doesn't get to kill you. You don't get to kill you. Only I get to kill you."
(Funny Line)
Jaime: "That was only one of them. She has two more. If she decides to use them, to really use them-"
Bronn: "You're fucked."
Jaime: "Don't you mean we're fucked?"
Bronn: "No, I do not." (Funny Line)
Bronn: "You're fucked."
Jaime: "Don't you mean we're fucked?"
Bronn: "No, I do not." (Funny Line)
Bronn: "Dragons are where our partnership ends. I'm not gonna be around when those things start spitting fire on King's Landing."
Jaime: "I have to tell Cersei."
Bronn: "May as well jump back in that river." (Funny Line)
Jaime: "I have to tell Cersei."
Bronn: "May as well jump back in that river." (Funny Line)
Tyrion: "She gave Tarly a choice, a man who had taken up arms against her. What else could she do?"
Varys: "Not burn him alive alongside his son?" (Funny Line)
Varys: "Not burn him alive alongside his son?" (Funny Line)
Tyrion: "Who's that (raven letter) for?"
Varys: "Jon Snow."
Tyrion: "Did you read it?"
Varys: "It's a sealed scroll for the King in the North."
...
Tyrion: "What's it say?"
Varys: "Nothing good." (Funny Line)
Varys: "Jon Snow."
Tyrion: "Did you read it?"
Varys: "It's a sealed scroll for the King in the North."
...
Tyrion: "What's it say?"
Varys: "Nothing good." (Funny Line)
31:25
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
after smuggling Tyrion through Blackwater Bay: "There's a path to the left that hugs the cliff. The guards hardly ever patrol it. Too many steps."
(Funny Line)
31:41
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Tyrion: "What if someone takes the boat?"
Davos: "Then we're fooked. Best hurry." (Funny Line)
Davos: "Then we're fooked. Best hurry." (Funny Line)
Jaime: "We don't have time for this, we should be preparing the city for a siege. The Dothraki are coming."
Bronn: "All the more reason for you to train. Unless you plan on fighting Dothraki twelve-year-olds." (Witty Insult)
Bronn: "All the more reason for you to train. Unless you plan on fighting Dothraki twelve-year-olds." (Witty Insult)
Jaime: "Why (do swordfight training) down here?"
Bronn: "I don't think you want people to see how you look swinging that thing yet." (Witty Insult)
Bronn: "I don't think you want people to see how you look swinging that thing yet." (Witty Insult)
34:48
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
to Gendry: "I wasn't sure I'd find you. Thought you might still be rowing."
(Funny Line)
35:11
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Gendry: "Aren't you worried about the Gold Cloaks?"
Davos: "Haven't been here in years. Why should they recognize me? Sometimes I hardly do.
Nothing fucks you harder than time." (Funny Line)
Davos: "Haven't been here in years. Why should they recognize me? Sometimes I hardly do.
Nothing fucks you harder than time." (Funny Line)
37:33
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Gold Cloaks, after already accepting Davos' bribe: "What's in the boat?
Davos: "Not more gold." (Comeback)
Davos: "Not more gold." (Comeback)
37:58
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Davos explains the goods he's smuggling in his boat.
"Fermented crab. One bucket of this triples a brothel's earnings for the week. A man thinks he's done. He's ready to go back to his loving family. But before he gets his breeches up, his lady of the hour pops a tiny spoon of that into his mouth. Five minutes later, he's back in the race." (Funny Line)
"Fermented crab. One bucket of this triples a brothel's earnings for the week. A man thinks he's done. He's ready to go back to his loving family. But before he gets his breeches up, his lady of the hour pops a tiny spoon of that into his mouth. Five minutes later, he's back in the race." (Funny Line)
38:32
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
to the Gold Cloaks after giving them a free sample of the fermented crab: "I'd hurry to your favorite establishment, or you'll put a hole in that chainmail."
(Funny Line)
39:06
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
"I really wouldn't try any more until you see how the first bite hits you." (as the Gold Cloaks return to the boat of fermented crab to get a better look at Tyrion)
(Funny Line)
Gendry bulldozes into his introduction with Jon Snow, after Davos warns him to do the exact opposite.
Davos: "The king's got a lot on his mind."
Gendry: "I understand."
Davos: "He doesn't need to be thinking about harboring the bastard of a dead king."
Gendry: "You don't have to worry."
Davos: "You're just Clovis, a smith who's come to pay his respects before he heads off to work at the Winterfell forges."
Gendry: "Understood."
...
Davos: "Your Grace, this is Clo-"
Gendry: "Name's Gendry, Your Grace. I'm Robert Baratheon's son. Bastard son." (Funny Line)
Davos: "The king's got a lot on his mind."
Gendry: "I understand."
Davos: "He doesn't need to be thinking about harboring the bastard of a dead king."
Gendry: "You don't have to worry."
Davos: "You're just Clovis, a smith who's come to pay his respects before he heads off to work at the Winterfell forges."
Gendry: "Understood."
...
Davos: "Your Grace, this is Clo-"
Gendry: "Name's Gendry, Your Grace. I'm Robert Baratheon's son. Bastard son." (Funny Line)
Jon Snow: "I saw your father once at Winterfell."
Gendry: "I met yours in my shop."
Jon: "You're a lot leaner."
Gendry: "And you're a lot shorter." (Funny Line)
Gendry: "I met yours in my shop."
Jon: "You're a lot leaner."
Gendry: "And you're a lot shorter." (Funny Line)
44:38
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Gendry: "I owe you my life. Twice over. But if what you said is true about what's up there, I can't wait out this war."
Davos: "Yep, nobody mind me. All I've ever done is live to a ripe old age." (Funny Line)
Davos: "Yep, nobody mind me. All I've ever done is live to a ripe old age." (Funny Line)
47:05
(+3)
Samwell Tarly:
Gilly: "Guess how many windows are in the Great Sept of Baelor.
Sam: "None anymore." (Funny Line)
Sam: "None anymore." (Funny Line)
47:58
(+3)
Samwell Tarly:
Sam goes on a rant to Gilly about the order of Maesters: "We can all become slavering, murderous imbeciles in thrall to evil incarnate as long as we can have access to the full records of High Septon Maynard's 15,782 shits!"
(Witty Insult)
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54:17
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Tormund: "Isn't it your job to talk him out of stupid fucking ideas like this?"
Davos: "I've been failing at that job of late. (Funny Line)
Davos: "I've been failing at that job of late. (Funny Line)
54:17
(+3)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Tormund: "Isn't it your job to talk him out of stupid fucking ideas like this?"
Davos: "I've been failing at that job of late. (Funny Line)
Davos: "I've been failing at that job of late. (Funny Line)
54:25
(+3)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Tormund: "How many queens are there now?"
Jon Snow: "Two."
Tormund: "And you need to convince the one with the dragons or the one who fucks her brother?" (Funny Line)
Jon Snow: "Two."
Tormund: "And you need to convince the one with the dragons or the one who fucks her brother?" (Funny Line)
54:36
(+3)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Tormund: "How many men did you bring?"
Jon: "Not enough."
Tormund: "The big woman?" (Funny Line)
Jon: "Not enough."
Tormund: "The big woman?" (Funny Line)
54:53
(+3)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Davos: "I'll be staying behind. I'm a liability out there, as you well know."
Tormund: "You are." (Funny Line)
Tormund: "You are." (Funny Line)
Glasses of Wine Consumed
Varys takes Tyrion wine cup and downs it while recollecting his days as the Mad Kind Aerys' adviser.
"I found the traitors, but I wasn't the one burning them alive. I was only a purveyor of information. It's what I told myself when I watched them beg for mercy - I'm not the one doing it. When the pitch of their screams rose higher - I'm not the one doing it. When their hair caught fire and the smell of their burning flesh filled the throne room - I'm not the one doing it." (Glass of Wine Consumed)
"I found the traitors, but I wasn't the one burning them alive. I was only a purveyor of information. It's what I told myself when I watched them beg for mercy - I'm not the one doing it. When the pitch of their screams rose higher - I'm not the one doing it. When their hair caught fire and the smell of their burning flesh filled the throne room - I'm not the one doing it." (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Deaths
10:54
(+5)
Randyll Tarly:
After refusing to bend the knee, Randyll is burned to ashes by Drogon's dragonfire alongside his son Dickon.
Daenerys: "Lord Randyll Tarly, Dickon Tarly, I, Daenerys of House Targaryen, First of My Name, Breaker of Chains, and Mother of Dragons, sentence you to die. Dracarys." (Death)
Daenerys: "Lord Randyll Tarly, Dickon Tarly, I, Daenerys of House Targaryen, First of My Name, Breaker of Chains, and Mother of Dragons, sentence you to die. Dracarys." (Death)
Jaime confirms the death of Olenna Tyrell from the poisoned wine she takes after the Tyrell defeat at Highgarden. "It was Olenna. She confessed before she died."
(Death)
Special
46:49
(+3)
Samwell Tarly:
Sam reads from a book as he transcribes it onto a fresh set of paper, before handing it over to Baby Sam.
(Special)
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