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Joffrey's Only Friend | Fantasora

Joffrey's Only Friend

House Hamilton Season 5

Owner: margaret.doolin14

5-5, 42.5 roto pts (#4)
Z-Score: 0.273 (percentile: 60.74%)
Weeks at #1: 0
Categories won: Deaths (45)
Best Week: Episode 9: The Dance of Dragons (+5 roto points)
Team MVP: Stannis Baratheon (picked #8, 54 points, 21.51% of team total)
Longest winstreak: W-3

Roster Stats

Character Drafted Total Kills Politics Insults Wine Sex Thrones Deaths Special Feels
The eldest brother of King Robert, he is the rightful heir to the Irone Throne.
#8 54 14 15 9 0 0 0 10 6 0
The former Lord Commander of the Kingsguard of Robert and Joffrey Baratheon. After being dismissed by King Joffrey, he joins Daenerys to serve as her advisor and Queensguard.
#24 48 30 3 0 0 0 0 15 0 0
A leader of the Wildlings, he is a trusted lieutenant and second-in-command to Mance Rayder, the King Beyond the Wall.
#57 44 26 15 3 0 0 0 0 0 0
The second of the Lannister children, he is Cersei's lover and twin brother, and also the father of her three children. He also serves as Lord Commander of the Kingsguard.
#9 33 2 3 6 10 0 0 0 12 0
A member of the Kingsguard, sworn to protect the King.
#56 27 4 0 3 5 5 0 10 0 0
Lord Stannis Baratheon's wife. She is a strong believer in the new faith of the red priestess Melisandre, who follows the Lord of Light.
#40 20 10 0 0 0 0 0 10 0 0
The heir to Highgarden and regarded as one of the most skilled knights in Westeros. He is the brother of Margaery Tyrell.
#25 11 0 0 3 0 5 0 0 3 0
A disgraced former Maester, who was banished from the order for engaging in forbidden experiments. He is recruited by Cersei to assist in various medical facilities.
#72 8 2 3 3 0 0 0 0 0 0
The Grand Maester of the Seven Kingdoms. Pycelle is highly educated and serves as an advisor to the King.
#41 3 0 3 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
A knight and the Head of House Clegane, bannermen to the Lannisters. He was called back to King's Landing by Cersei to fight as the Crown's champion in Tyrion's trial.
#73 3 0 3 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Totals 251 88 45 27 15 10 0 45 21 0

Roster

charId Character Special
51
The eldest brother of King Robert, he is the rightful heir to the Irone Throne.
+1 point each time he makes a Stannis-style pedantic correction.
+1 point when he mentions that someone will/should "bend the knee" [new]
19
The second of the Lannister children, he is Cersei's lover and twin brother, and also the father of her three children. He also serves as Lord Commander of the Kingsguard.
* +1 point for awkward waves with his metal hand
* +1 point when he uses his metal hand in a combat situation
* +1 point when someone (excl. Cersei) references incest with Cersei or her childrens' bastardy directly to him
* 2x multiplier for sex acts involving incest (first cousin or closer)
35
The former Lord Commander of the Kingsguard of Robert and Joffrey Baratheon. After being dismissed by King Joffrey, he joins Daenerys to serve as her advisor and Queensguard.
+1 point when he makes a suggestion to Daenerys and she ignores it.
60
The heir to Highgarden and regarded as one of the most skilled knights in Westeros. He is the brother of Margaery Tyrell.
+1 point anytime someone refers to him using sword-based analogies, or any other reference to his sexuality.
125
Lord Stannis Baratheon's wife. She is a strong believer in the new faith of the red priestess Melisandre, who follows the Lord of Light.
+1 point when she does something crazy or New Age.
74
The Grand Maester of the Seven Kingdoms. Pycelle is highly educated and serves as an advisor to the King.
+1 point when he walks 5 or more steps in a row without stopping
75
A member of the Kingsguard, sworn to protect the King.
67
A leader of the Wildlings, he is a trusted lieutenant and second-in-command to Mance Rayder, the King Beyond the Wall.
* every mention of "killing Crows"
* every on-screen second he stares into Brienne's soul (rounded up)
72
A disgraced former Maester, who was banished from the order for engaging in forbidden experiments. He is recruited by Cersei to assist in various medical facilities.
* +1 point whenever he receives a new specimen for his experiments
* +1 politics point when reporting information from his "little birds"
28
A knight and the Head of House Clegane, bannermen to the Lannisters. He was called back to King's Landing by Cersei to fight as the Crown's champion in Tyrion's trial.
* Scores for any kills of non-combatants * Scores for each sentence spoken * Interacting with bowls
Kills
Episode 3: The High Sparrow
46:58 (+2) Qyburn:
Qyburn kills a rat for his experiments, splashing its blood onto his magnifying glass. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Episode 4: The Sons of the Harpy
Barristan arrives to the scene of the Unsullied ambush. He cuts down 15 of the Sons of the Harpy in an attempt to save Grey Worm, but is eventually cut down by the mob.
1. Slashed across the back as Barristan arrives
2. Slashed across the stomach as the mob engages
3. Slashed across the side after his first strike is parried
4. Held in place by Barristan to receive a stab from a fellow Son of the Harpy
5. Slashed across the chest
6. Sliced through the stomach
7. Sliced across the back
8. Stabbed through the stomach
9. Beheaded from behind
10. Slashed through with an uppercut swing
11. Stabbed through the stomach
12. Slashes across the stomach
13. Slashes after stabbing Barristan's leg
14. Stabbed through while Barristan is kneeling on the ground
15. Stabbed simultaneously while another stabs Barristan through the stomach (mostly obscured behind the surviving fighter)
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
Episode 8: Hardhome
After he is insulted by the Lord of Bones, Tormund steals his club and smashes in the Lord of Bones' skull with it. (Kill of Named Character)
Tormund cuts down a wight. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Tormund slices down another wight as Jon makes a run for the main Wildling hut where the dragonglass daggers were left. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Tormund cuts down a wildling, stabs another through the back of the head, and stabs another through the neck. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Tormund headbutts a wight, then throws his sword into the stomach of another that charges at him. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Tormund cuts down a wight as he, Jon Snow, and Edd make a run for the dock. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Episode 9: The Dance of Dragons
Stannis sacrifices his own daughter Shireen to the Lord of Light, allowing the red priestess Melisandre to burn her at the stake. (Kill of Named Character)
Episode 10: Mother's Mercy
Meryn whips the third girl (later found to be Arya Stark) in the Braavosi brothel, striking her so hard that he breaks his stick. "I can see I have my work cut out for me." (Minor Injury of Named Character)
Selyse hangs herself after she is devastated by the sacrificial burning of her daughter Shireen. (Kill of Named Character)
Stannis kills two Bolton soldiers who attempt to finish him off in the woods outside Winterfell. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Meryn Trant whips two young girls in the brothel of Braavos with a stick. (Major Injury of Unnamed Character)
Political Wins
Episode 2: The House of Black and White
Jaime coerces Bronn into his service, marrying off the noblewoman he is betrothed to, Lollys Stokeworth, to another knight, stripping Bronn of his opportunity for a noble title and lands. "Because you're going to come with me and help me with something important. And when we return... I'm going to give you a much better girl, and a much better castle." (Politics - uncategorized)
Barristan convinces Daenerys to give the Son of the Harpy a fair trial instead of executing him immediately. "Your Grace... I served in [Mad King Aerys'] Kingsguard. I was at his side from the first. Your enemies did not lie." (Politics - uncategorized)
31:11 (+3) Qyburn:
Cersei names Qyburn the new Master of Whispers, replacing Varys. (Politics - uncategorized)
Episode 5: Kill the Boy
Tormund convinces Jon to mobilize the Night's Watch (and Jon himself) to accompany him on the mission to Hardhome,  "They need to hear it from you. They need to know the ships they are boarding wot be torched in the middle of the sea. You come with me or I don't go." (Politics - uncategorized)
submitted by moonbaseu92 (approved!)
Stannis ignores Ser Davos Seaworth's caution and gives the order to mobilize the Baratheon army. "We have the advantage: more men, more horses, all fed and rested. But every day we wait, the odds shift in Bolton's favor. This could turn to winter at any moment. We have to act now. Give the order. We march at sunrise." (Politics - uncategorized)
Episode 7: The Gift
Stannis orders his army to march on through the winter storm, against Ser Davos' counsel.
Davos Seaworth: "It's better to wait for the right time than risk everything."
Stannis: "This is the right time and I will risk everything. Because if I don't, we've lost. We march to victory or we march to defeat. But we go forward. Only forward."
(Politics - uncategorized)
Episode 8: Hardhome
In Cersei Lannister's absence, Pycelle takes control of the Small Council to appoint Kevan Lannister  as Hand of the King. (Politics - uncategorized)
submitted by moonbaseu92 (approved!)
Tormund convinces the Wildlings to not kill Jon Snow for killing Mance. "None of you saw Mance die. I did. The southern king who broke our army, Stannis, wanted to burn him alive to send us a message. Jon Snow defied that cunt's orders. His arrow was mercy." (Politics - uncategorized)
Tormund convinces the Wildlings to accept Jon Snow's invitation and depart Hardhome to head south of the Wall.
Karsi: "I'll never trust a man in black. But I trust you, Tormund. If you say this is the way, we're with you."
Tormund: "This is the way."
(Politics - uncategorized)
Karsi and the Giant Wun Weg Wun Dar Wun agree to follow Tormund south of the Wall. (Politics - uncategorized)
Episode 9: The Dance of Dragons
Stannis overrules Ser Davos's protests, and orders him away to Castle Black.
Ser Davos: "The King's Hand should never abandon the king, especially in time of war."
Stannis: "You're not abandoning me. You're obeying a command ... Ride for Castle Black. Don't come back empty-handed."
(Politics - uncategorized)
Stannis denies Ser Davos' plead to escort the royal family back to Castle Black.
Davos: "Your Grace, perhaps Queen Selyse and Princess Shireen could accompany me."
Stannis: "My family stays with me."
Davos: "At least let me take Shireen. A siege is no place for a little girl."
Stannis: "My family stays with me."
(Politics - uncategorized)
Episode 10: Mother's Mercy
The Mountain, rehabilitated by Qyburn, is made a member of the Kingsguard. (Politics - uncategorized)
Insults Delivered / Funny Lines
Episode 1: The Wars to Come
Loras lazily drones on to Cersei about the late Tywin: "what a... force to be reckoned with." (Funny Line)
Episode 3: The High Sparrow
Stannis: "You're as stubborn as your father. And as honorable."
Jon Snow: "I can imagine no higher praise"
Stannis: "I didn't mean it as praise. Honor got your father killed."
(Witty Insult)
submitted by Reaper (approved!)
Jon Snow: "I heard it was best to keep your enemies close."
Stannis: "Whoever said that didn't have many enemies."
(Funny Line)
submitted by Reaper (approved!)
Episode 4: The Sons of the Harpy
after asking Bronn to bury the bodies of the Dornish riders: "I can't dig very well with one hand. Not at all, really." (Funny Line)
Episode 8: Hardhome
on Jon Snow: "He's prettier than both my daughters, but he knows how to fight." (Witty Insult)
Episode 9: The Dance of Dragons
to the Braavosi brothel manager, after she brings out a young servant girl for Ser Meryn: "You'll have a fresh one for me tomorrow." (Threat)
Glasses of Wine Consumed
Episode 4: The Sons of the Harpy
Jaime takes a swig while below the deck of the merchant vessel that is smuggling him to Dorne. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Episode 9: The Dance of Dragons
Jaime drinks after Doran Martell proposes a toast. "Let us drink to Tommen, the First of His Name, King of the Andals and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms." (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Ser Meryn drinks as he chooses a prostitute in the Braavosi brothel. "Too old.' (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Acts of Intercourse
Episode 1: The Wars to Come
Episode 9: The Dance of Dragons
Ser Meryn chooses the young servant girl in the brothel, after running through the set of regulars who were all "too old." (Act of Intercourse)
Deaths
Episode 5: Kill the Boy
Barristan's body lies in Daenery's throneroom after he was cut down by the Sons of the Harpy. (Death)
Episode 6: Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken
+1 for Barristan Selmy
Episode 7: The Gift
+1 for Barristan Selmy
Episode 8: Hardhome
+1 for Barristan Selmy
Episode 9: The Dance of Dragons
+1 for Barristan Selmy
Episode 10: Mother's Mercy
Selyse hangs herself after she is devastated by the sacrificial burning of her daughter Shireen. (Death)
The strong implication is that he was, in fact killed at the hands of Brienne of Tarth. I realize it wasn't technically on-screen and could be considered to be ambiguous, but we never saw Syrio Forel's death or the Hound's death, but the understanding is that they are dead as well. And if at the start of the next season, it turns out that he did, in fact, die, it'll be a little late to go back and add the points. Would the points be given to whoever has him at the beginning of next season, then? (Death)
submitted by cfitzgerald (approved!)
Meryn Trant is brutally stabbed and killed in a Braavosi brothel by Arya Stark, disguised as a young prostitute. (Death)
+1 for Barristan Selmy
Special
Episode 2: The House of Black and White
Cersei talks to Jaime about Myrcella. "Then don't call her your daughter. You've never been a father to her." (Special)
Episode 3: The High Sparrow
Stannis corrects Jon Snow
Stannis: "You're as stubborn as your father. And as honorable."
Jon Snow: "I can imagine no higher praise"
Stannis: "I didn't mean it as praise. Honor got your father killed."
(Special)
submitted by Reaper (approved!)
Episode 4: The Sons of the Harpy
Jaime: "We're not kidnapping their princess. We're rescuing my niece, bringing her back to her family."
Bronn: "Your niece?"
(Special)
Episode 5: Kill the Boy
Stannis corrects First Builder Yarwyck during a meeting of the Night's Watch.
Othell Yarwyck: "Let them die (the Wildlings). We got out our own to worry about. Less enemies for us."
Stannis: "Fewer."
(Special)
Episode 6: Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken
The High Sparrow lays out the Faith's accusations against Loras Tyrell: "Do you deny all the charges against you? Fornication. Buggery. Blasphemy... You never lay with Renly Baratheon? ... Nor any other man?" (Special)
Episode 9: The Dance of Dragons
Ellaria: "You love her very much, don't you?"
Jaime: "Of course, she's my niece."
Ellaria: "I wasn't talking about her."
(Special)
Episode 10: Mother's Mercy
Jaime is confronted with his incest by his own daughter, Myrcella: "I know. About you and mother. I think a part of me always knew. And I'm glad. I'm glad that you're my father." (Special)