Matchup: A Spagnolo always pays their debt. In bagels. vs More Nudity Please. Thanks. for Ep 2
The Queen of New York, Mathafackaaaazzz
Political Wins
18:01
(+3)
Jorah Mormont:
Jorah convinces Daenerys to forgive Tyrion's failures and keep him on as Hand of the Queen.
(Convincing Argument)
23:25
(+3)
Sansa Stark:
Theon returns North and pledges his services to Sansa. "I want to fight for Winterfell, Lady Sansa. If you'll have me."
(New Follower/Prisoner)
50:17
(+3)
Jorah Mormont:
Samwell gifts the Tarly family sword to Jorah.
Samwell: "And I'd love to defend them with it. But I can't really hold it upright. Your father, he taught me how to be a man. How to do what's right. This is right." (New Weapon)
Samwell: "And I'd love to defend them with it. But I can't really hold it upright. Your father, he taught me how to be a man. How to do what's right. This is right." (New Weapon)
54:30
(+3)
Daenerys Targaryen:
Daenerys learns that Jon Snow may be the trueborn son of her brother, Rhaegar Targaryen, and a rival claimant to the Iron Throne.
(Secret Discovery)
Insults Delivered / Funny Lines
3:09
(+3)
Daenerys Targaryen:
to Jaime Lannister: "Your sister pledged to send her army north... I don’t see an army. I see one man with one hand."
(Witty Insult)
submitted by blangslet (approved!)
3:52
(+3)
Daenerys Targaryen:
Tyrion: "Your Grace, I know my brother-"
Daenerys: "Like you knew your sister?" (Witty Insult)
Daenerys: "Like you knew your sister?" (Witty Insult)
12:40
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion comments on the Lannister brothers reunion as they are spat upon by Northerners.
"Well, here we are... together again. And the masses rejoice." (Funny Line)
"Well, here we are... together again. And the masses rejoice." (Funny Line)
13:41
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Jaime: "Don't be too hard on yourself. She fooled me more than anybody."
Tyrion: "She never fooled you. You always knew exactly what she was. And you loved her anyway." (Witty Insult)
Tyrion: "She never fooled you. You always knew exactly what she was. And you loved her anyway." (Witty Insult)
14:06
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion: "So, we're going to die. At Winterfell. Not the death I would've chosen. I always pictured myself dying in my own bed, at the age of 80, with a belly fully of wine and a [in unison with Jaime] girl's mouth around my cock."
(Funny Line)
14:06
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Tyrion: "So, we're going to die. At Winterfell. Not the death I would've chosen. I always pictured myself dying in my own bed, at the age of 80, with a belly fully of wine and a [in unison with Jaime] girl's mouth around my cock."
(Funny Line)
16:11
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Brienne: "What are you doing? ... We have never had a conversation last this long without you insulting me, not once."
Jaime: "You want me to insult you?" (Funny Line)
Jaime: "You want me to insult you?" (Funny Line)
21:36
(+3)
Daenerys Targaryen:
Daenerys: "I'm here because I love your brother. And I trust him. And I know he's true to his word. He's only the second man in my life I can say that about."
Sansa: "Who was the first?"
Daenerys: "Someone taller." (Funny Line)
Sansa: "Who was the first?"
Daenerys: "Someone taller." (Funny Line)
30:43
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion: "You've had a strange journey."
Bran: "Stranger than most."
Tyrion: "I'd like to hear about it.
Bran: "It's a long story."
Tyrion: "If only we were in a castle, in the middle of winter with nowhere to go." (Funny Line)
Bran: "Stranger than most."
Tyrion: "I'd like to hear about it.
Bran: "It's a long story."
Tyrion: "If only we were in a castle, in the middle of winter with nowhere to go." (Funny Line)
34:58
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
to Jaime: "I wish father were here. I would love to see the look on his face when he realizes his two sons are about to die defending Winterfell."
(Funny Line)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
35:33
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
to Tyrion: "It wasn't so simple. I was sleeping with my sister, and you had one friend in the world - who was sleeping with his sister."
(Funny Line)
36:17
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Brienne: "We didn't meant to interrupt, we were just looking for someplace warm to-"
Tyrion: "-to contemplate your imminent death. You've come to the right place." (Funny Line)
Tyrion: "-to contemplate your imminent death. You've come to the right place." (Funny Line)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
37:26
(+3)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Tyrion: "Would you like a drink?"
Tormund: "Brought my own." [holds up horn of weird milk] (Funny Line)
Tormund: "Brought my own." [holds up horn of weird milk] (Funny Line)
37:35
(+3)
Tormund Giantsbane:
The telephone game of Westerosi epithets makes its way to Tormund.
to Jaime: "They call you Kingkiller." (Funny Line)
to Jaime: "They call you Kingkiller." (Funny Line)
38:27
(+3)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Tormund tells the story of his name, Giantsbane.
"They call me Giantsbane. Want to know why?
I killed a giant when I was 10. Then I climbed right into bed with his wife.
When she woke up, you know what she did? Suckled me at her teat for three months.
Thought I was her baby. That's how I got so strong. Giant's milk." (Funny Line)
"They call me Giantsbane. Want to know why?
I killed a giant when I was 10. Then I climbed right into bed with his wife.
When she woke up, you know what she did? Suckled me at her teat for three months.
Thought I was her baby. That's how I got so strong. Giant's milk." (Funny Line)
46:04
(+3)
Tormund Giantsbane:
to Brienne: "I'm no King, but if I were, I'd knight you ten times over."
(Funny Line)
51:19
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Tyrion: "How about a song? One of you must know one. Ser Davos?"
Davos: "You'll pray for a quick death. (Funny Line)
Davos: "You'll pray for a quick death. (Funny Line)
Glasses of Wine Consumed
34:50
(+5)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion drinks in front of the fireplace at Winterfell as he chats with Jaime. "I wish father were here."
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
36:08
(+5)
Jaime Lannister:
Tyrion raises a toast - "to the perils of self-betterment" and Jaime just gets his lips on the cup as Brienne and Podrick barge in.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
38:27
(+5)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Tormund shotguns his entire horn of "giants' milk" as it pours down all over his beard to the dismay of Davos and others.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
submitted by alicehanners (approved!)
45:50
(+5)
Jaime Lannister:
Jaime refills his cup as the fireplace crew talks about the sexism of knighthood in Westeros.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
Acts of Intercourse
A Game of Thrones
2:45
(+1)
Daenerys Targaryen:
Daenerys sits at the head of the table in Winterfall's hall as she interrogates Jaime.
(Basic Seat)
4:29
(+1)
Sansa Stark:
Sansa is seated at the head table in Winterfell as the court interrogates Jaime Lannister.
(Basic Seat)
4:35
(+1)
Bran Stark:
Bran sits in his wheelchair at the Court of Winterfell.
Jaime: "We were at war. Everything I did, I did for my house and my family. i'd do it all again."
Bran: "The things we do for love." (Basic Seat)
Jaime: "We were at war. Everything I did, I did for my house and my family. i'd do it all again."
Bran: "The things we do for love." (Basic Seat)
10:59
(+1)
Bran Stark:
Bran sits in his wheelchair in the Godswood as he has a conversation with Jaime.
(Basic Seat)
18:38
(+1)
Sansa Stark:
Sansa sits with Lord Royce as they discuss what to do with the gates for the upcoming battle. "Keep them open for as long as you can, there are still people coming in from the countryside."
(Basic Seat)
27:17
(+1)
Bran Stark:
Bran sits in his wheelchair while the group plans for the Battle of Winterfell.
(Basic Seat)
30:43
(+1)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion sits down to hear Bran's story.
Bran: "It's a long story."
Tyrion: "If only we were in a castle, in the middle of winter with nowhere to go." (Basic Seat)
Bran: "It's a long story."
Tyrion: "If only we were in a castle, in the middle of winter with nowhere to go." (Basic Seat)
34:50
(+1)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion sits in a chair by the fireplace at Winterfell, chatting with Jaime. "I wish father were here."
(Basic Seat)
34:50
(+1)
Jaime Lannister:
Jaime sits in front of the fireplace in Winterfell with Tyrion.
(Basic Seat)
36:55
(+1)
Jaime Lannister:
Jaime sits back down on his chair after inviting their new guests around the fireplace.
(Basic Seat)
37:55
(+1)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Tormund sits down to regale the fireplace crew with the story of how he was named Giantsbane.
(Basic Seat)
51:06
(+1)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion sits as Davos declares "we're out of wine" to the fireplace crew.
(Basic Seat)
51:06
(+1)
Jaime Lannister:
Tyrion sits as Davos declares "we're out of wine" to the fireplace crew.
(Basic Seat)
51:10
(+1)
Davos Seaworth:
Davos sits as he declares "we're out of wine" to the fireplace crew.
(Basic Seat)
51:10
(+1)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Tormund is sitting as Davos declares "we're out of wine" to the fireplace crew.
(Basic Seat)
Special
2:49
(+3)
Daenerys Targaryen:
Daenerys rocks a lighter crimson and gray coat inside the hall of Winterfell.
(Special)
23:25
(+3)
Sansa Stark:
Sansa eyes well up as Theon arrives to Winterfell with the Ironborn to pledge his services.
(Special)
submitted by olinnbroderick3 (approved!)
25:55
(+3)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Tormund greets Jon with a bear tackle and calls him "My little Crow."
(Special)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
30:05
(+9)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Tormund gives the eye to Brienne during the battle planning meeting (3 seconds)
"We're all going to die... but at least we die together." (Special)
"We're all going to die... but at least we die together." (Special)
"I am loyal to my Queen. I will fight for her until her *enemies* are *defeated.*
(Special)
37:11
(+18)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Tormund stares at Brienne as he enters the fireplace room (6 cumulative seconds staring at Brienne). She stares back.
"It could be our last night in this world, you know?" (Special)
"It could be our last night in this world, you know?" (Special)
The Feels
23:25
(+5)
Sansa Stark:
Sansa and Theon share a heartfelt hug as he returns to the North with his Ironborn.
"I want to fight for Winterfell, Lady Sansa. If you'll have me." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
"I want to fight for Winterfell, Lady Sansa. If you'll have me." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
23:25
(+5)
Theon Greyjoy:
Theon and Sansa share a heartfelt hug as he returns to the North with his Ironborn.
"I want to fight for Winterfell, Lady Sansa. If you'll have me." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
"I want to fight for Winterfell, Lady Sansa. If you'll have me." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
24:38
(+5)
Davos Seaworth:
Davos encounters a Northern girl with a scarred face, much like Shireen Baratheon's.
Nothern girl: "Which way should I go?"
Davos: "Which way do you want to go?" (Sad Feels)
Nothern girl: "Which way should I go?"
Davos: "Which way do you want to go?" (Sad Feels)
25:52
(+3)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Tormund bear tackles Jon Snow in the courtyard as the Beyond-the-Wall gang reunites in Winterfell.
(Funny Line)
Grey Worm and Missandei make plans for summer vacation after the war is done.
Missandei: "My people are peaceful. We cannot protect ourselves."
Grey Worm: "My people are not peaceful. We will protect you." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
Missandei: "My people are peaceful. We cannot protect ourselves."
Grey Worm: "My people are not peaceful. We will protect you." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
38:27
(+3)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Tormund shotguns his entire horn of "giants' milk" as it pours down all over his beard to the dismay of Davos and others.
(Ridiculously Funny Moment)
47:37
(+5)
Jaime Lannister:
Jaime knights Brienne of Tarth
"In the name of the Warrior, I charge you to be brave.
In the name of the Father, I charge you to be just.
In the name of the Mother, I charge you to defend the innocent.
Arise, Brienne of Tarth - a knight of the Seven Kingdoms." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
"In the name of the Warrior, I charge you to be brave.
In the name of the Father, I charge you to be just.
In the name of the Mother, I charge you to defend the innocent.
Arise, Brienne of Tarth - a knight of the Seven Kingdoms." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
50:17
(+5)
Jorah Mormont:
Jorah receives Heartsbane, Tarly family sword from Samwell, as a remembrance to his father, the Lord Commander Jeor Mormont.
Samwell: "And I'd love to defend them with it. But I can't really hold it upright. Your father, he taught me how to be a man. How to do what's right. This is right." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
Samwell: "And I'd love to defend them with it. But I can't really hold it upright. Your father, he taught me how to be a man. How to do what's right. This is right." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)