Matchup: Do You Wanna Build a Snow Bran? vs Winter is Here Bitch for Ep 1
Reek's Keep
Kills
27:57
(+1)
Yara Greyjoy:
As thanks for her rescue, Yara headbutts Theon, bloodying his nose.
(Minor Injury of Named Character)
Political Wins
20:34
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei gains the sellsword services of the Golden Company.
Cersei: "In any event, you are most welcome here in King's Landing, Captain Strickland."
Harry Stickland: "We look forward to fighting on your behalf, Your Grace." (Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
Cersei: "In any event, you are most welcome here in King's Landing, Captain Strickland."
Harry Stickland: "We look forward to fighting on your behalf, Your Grace." (Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
20:34
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Along with the Golden Company, Cersei gains their Captain Harry Strickland as a follower.
(New Follower/Prisoner)
20:34
(+3)
Euron Greyjoy:
Euron returns to King's Landing, have secured the services of the Golden Company for Cersei Lannister and the Crown.
(Deals Brokered)
Tormund and the Night's Watch discovers the grisly scene at the Last Hearth, where the White Walkers have massacred the inhabits.
(Victorious Battle)
Tormund and the Night's Watch discovers the grisly scene at the Last Hearth, where the White Walkers have massacred the inhabits.
(Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
22:25
(+3)
Euron Greyjoy:
Euron finds a way to charm himself into Cersei's cold graces.
Cersei: "You want a whore, buy one. You want a queen earn her."
Euron: "How? I've given her justice, an army and the Iron Fleet, yet she gives me no sign of affection. My heart is nearly broken." (Convincing Argument)
Cersei: "You want a whore, buy one. You want a queen earn her."
Euron: "How? I've given her justice, an army and the Iron Fleet, yet she gives me no sign of affection. My heart is nearly broken." (Convincing Argument)
Qyburn gifts Bronn the crossbow used by Tyrion to murder Tywin Lannister, as Bronn is sent on a mission to assassinate the Lannister brothers.
(New Weapon)
29:01
(+3)
Yara Greyjoy:
Yara: "You want to go to Wintefell. To fight for the Starks. Go. What is dead may never die."
(House Words)
The Night King has Ned Umber reanimated as a wight in the ruins of the Last Hearth.
(New Follower/Prisoner)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Insults Delivered / Funny Lines
19:58
(+3)
Euron Greyjoy:
Cersei: "20,000 men is it? is it?"
Harry Strickland: "Yes, your Grace. A few died in transit."
Euron Greyjoy: "They cheated at dice. Or maybe I cheated. Someone cheated." (Funny Line)
Harry Strickland: "Yes, your Grace. A few died in transit."
Euron Greyjoy: "They cheated at dice. Or maybe I cheated. Someone cheated." (Funny Line)
21:52
(+3)
Euron Greyjoy:
Cersei: "You're insolent. I've executed men for less."
Euron: "They were lesser men." (Witty Insult)
Euron: "They were lesser men." (Witty Insult)
as Qyburn gifts him the crossbow used by Tyrion to kill Tywin Lannister
Qyburn: "She (Cersei) has a keen sense of poetic justice."
Bronn: "That fucking family..." (Funny Line)
Qyburn: "She (Cersei) has a keen sense of poetic justice."
Bronn: "That fucking family..." (Funny Line)
37:27
(+3)
Arya Stark:
The Hound: "You left me to die."
Arya: "First I robbed you." (Witty Insult)
Arya: "First I robbed you." (Witty Insult)
submitted by k.molseed (approved!)
38:53
(+3)
Arya Stark:
Gendry: "I always knew you were just another rich girl."
Arya: "You don't know any other rich girls." (Witty Insult)
Arya: "You don't know any other rich girls." (Witty Insult)
41:22
(+3)
Samwell Tarly:
Daenerys: "So you're the man."
Sam: "Um... which... man? am I... your Grace?" (Funny Line)
Sam: "Um... which... man? am I... your Grace?" (Funny Line)
Glasses of Wine Consumed
19:16
(+5)
Euron Greyjoy:
Euron drinks from his flask while chatting with Yara Greyjoy onboard his ship. He offers to Yara but she is apparently too proud to sell herself out for the fantasy points.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
25:43
(+5)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei sips from her glass while Euron asks her about his performance in bed.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
Acts of Intercourse
Bronn gets started with one of the trio of whores in his chambers, but is interrupted by Qyburn before he can complete the triple-bird score.
(Act of Intercourse)
25:25
(+5)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei chats with Euron after a romp in her chambers.
(Act of Intercourse)
25:25
(+5)
Euron Greyjoy:
Euron chats with Cersei after a romp in her chambers.
(Act of Intercourse)
25:25
(+5)
Euron Greyjoy:
Euron's right cheek is glimpsed as he pulls up his britches in Cersei's bedchambers.
(Non-sexual Nude Scene)
41:13
(+5)
Jorah Mormont:
Jorah gently caresses the Khaleesi's elbow as he points out where Samwell is in the library.
(Act of Intercourse)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
A Game of Thrones
19:58
(+5)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei greets the captain of the Golden Company, Harry Strickland, from the Iron Throne.
(Iron Throne)
Bronn sits down to get dressed and put his boots on after Qyburn interrupts his session with Marei and the other whores.
(Basic Seat)
25:32
(+1)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei sits down with a glass of wine in her bedchambers after her session with Euron Greyjoy.
(Basic Seat)
41:17
(+1)
Samwell Tarly:
Sam scoots out of his library seat as he is startled by Daenerys and Jorah.
(Basic Seat)
Special
Tyrion, as he and Varys arrive to a frigid Winterfell: "You should consider yourself lucky. At least your balls won't freeze off."
(Special)
Varys: "You take great offense at dwarf jokes, but love telling eunuch jokes. Why is that?"
Tyrion: "Because I have balls... and you don't" (Special)
Tyrion: "Because I have balls... and you don't" (Special)
25:53
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Euron: "How do I compare? To the fat king."
Cersei: "Robert had a different whore every night, but he still didn't know his way around a woman's body."
Euron: "And the Kingslayer?" (Special)
Cersei: "Robert had a different whore every night, but he still didn't know his way around a woman's body."
Euron: "And the Kingslayer?" (Special)
25:53
(+3)
Euron Greyjoy:
Euron questions Cersei about his performance compared to her other lovers.
Euron: "So how do I compare to the fat king?"
Cersei: "You're insulting my late husband?"
Euron: "Are you offended?"
Cersei: "Robert had a different whore every night, but he still didn't know his way around a woman's body."
Euron: "And the Kingslayer?"
Cersei: "You enjoy risking your neck, don't you?" (Special)
Euron: "So how do I compare to the fat king?"
Cersei: "You're insulting my late husband?"
Euron: "Are you offended?"
Cersei: "Robert had a different whore every night, but he still didn't know his way around a woman's body."
Euron: "And the Kingslayer?"
Cersei: "You enjoy risking your neck, don't you?" (Special)
41:17
(+3)
Samwell Tarly:
Sam is reading a book in the Winterfell library as Daenerys and Jorah walk in.
(Special)
41:30
(+3)
Jorah Mormont:
Jorah reunites with Sam and they talk about his former Greyscale condition.
Dany: "The man who saved Ser Jorah when no one else could."
Jorah: "They could. They just wouldn't." (Special)
Dany: "The man who saved Ser Jorah when no one else could."
Jorah: "They could. They just wouldn't." (Special)
submitted by nickg (approved!)
46:31
(+3)
Samwell Tarly:
Sam mentions the book he found out Jon's lineage from: "Bran and I worked it out. I have a High Septon's diary, and Bran has... whatever Bran has."
(Special)
submitted by dtsantise (approved!)
Ned Umber is impaled on the wall of his keep, surrounded by a spiral of bloody body parts.
(Special)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
The Feels
16:00
(+5)
Arya Stark:
Arya and Jon finally reunite in the Godswood of Winterfell and compare their fancy swords.
Arya: "I'm defending our family. And so is she (Sansa)."
Jon: "I'm her family too."
Arya: "Don't forget that." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
Arya: "I'm defending our family. And so is she (Sansa)."
Jon: "I'm her family too."
Arya: "Don't forget that." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
29:17
(+5)
Yara Greyjoy:
Theon and Yara share an embrace before they part ways to fight their separate parts of the war.
Yara: "You want to go to Wintefell. To fight for the Starks. Go. What is dead may never die."
Theon: "What is dead may never die."
Yara: "But kill the bastards anyway." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
Yara: "You want to go to Wintefell. To fight for the Starks. Go. What is dead may never die."
Theon: "What is dead may never die."
Yara: "But kill the bastards anyway." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
38:22
(+5)
Arya Stark:
Arya and Gendry reunite in the Winterfell forge, and share some banter from their days on the road.
Gendry: "It's not a bad place to grow up, if it wasn't so cold."
Arya: "Stay close to that forge, then."
Gendry: "Is that a command, Lady Stark?"
Arya: "Don't call me that."
Gendry: "As you wish, m'lady." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
Gendry: "It's not a bad place to grow up, if it wasn't so cold."
Arya: "Stay close to that forge, then."
Gendry: "Is that a command, Lady Stark?"
Arya: "Don't call me that."
Gendry: "As you wish, m'lady." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
42:22
(+15)
Samwell Tarly:
Sam hears the news of the deaths of his father Randyll and brother Dickon from the executioner herself.
Daenerys: "I offered to let him retain his lands and titles if he bent the knee. He refused."
Samwell: "Well at least I'll be allowed home again, now that my brother's the lord."
Daenerys: "Your brother stood with your father." (Sad Feels)
Daenerys: "I offered to let him retain his lands and titles if he bent the knee. He refused."
Samwell: "Well at least I'll be allowed home again, now that my brother's the lord."
Daenerys: "Your brother stood with your father." (Sad Feels)
50:39
(+3)
Eddison Tollett:
Edd and Tormund Giantsbane stumble upon each other at the Last Hearth.
Edd: "Stand back, he's got blue eyes!"
Tormund: "I've always had blue eyes!!" (Ridiculously Funny Moment)
Edd: "Stand back, he's got blue eyes!"
Tormund: "I've always had blue eyes!!" (Ridiculously Funny Moment)
submitted by niketbp (approved!)