Matchup: The Table Cersei and Jamie banged on next to their dead child :) vs You Know Nothing Tanner Lawson for Ep 1
Winter is Cumming
Kills
27:57
(+1)
Yara Greyjoy:
As thanks for her rescue, Yara headbutts Theon, bloodying his nose.
(Minor Injury of Named Character)
Political Wins
20:34
(+3)
Euron Greyjoy:
Euron returns to King's Landing, have secured the services of the Golden Company for Cersei Lannister and the Crown.
(Deals Brokered)
22:25
(+3)
Euron Greyjoy:
Euron finds a way to charm himself into Cersei's cold graces.
Cersei: "You want a whore, buy one. You want a queen earn her."
Euron: "How? I've given her justice, an army and the Iron Fleet, yet she gives me no sign of affection. My heart is nearly broken." (Convincing Argument)
Cersei: "You want a whore, buy one. You want a queen earn her."
Euron: "How? I've given her justice, an army and the Iron Fleet, yet she gives me no sign of affection. My heart is nearly broken." (Convincing Argument)
29:01
(+3)
Yara Greyjoy:
Yara: "You want to go to Wintefell. To fight for the Starks. Go. What is dead may never die."
(House Words)
Rhaegal accepts Jon as a dragonrider as they take flight for the first time.
Jon: "I don't know how to ride a dragon."
Daenerys: "Nobody does. Until they ride a dragon." (New Follower/Prisoner)
Jon: "I don't know how to ride a dragon."
Daenerys: "Nobody does. Until they ride a dragon." (New Follower/Prisoner)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Rhaegal accepts Jon as a dragonrider as they take flight for the first time.
Jon: "I don't know how to ride a dragon."
Daenerys: "Nobody does. Until they ride a dragon." (New Follower/Prisoner)
Jon: "I don't know how to ride a dragon."
Daenerys: "Nobody does. Until they ride a dragon." (New Follower/Prisoner)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Jon finds out his true lineage as the trueborn son of Rhaegaer Targaryen and Lyanna Stark, and potentially the rightful King of the Seven Kingdoms.
Sam: "I had a High Septon's diary. Bran had... whatever Bran has. ... Your mother was Lyanna Stark. And your father - your real father - was Rhaegar Targaryen. You've never been a bastard. You're Aegon Targaryen, true heir to the Iron Throne." (Secret Discovery)
Sam: "I had a High Septon's diary. Bran had... whatever Bran has. ... Your mother was Lyanna Stark. And your father - your real father - was Rhaegar Targaryen. You've never been a bastard. You're Aegon Targaryen, true heir to the Iron Throne." (Secret Discovery)
submitted by cereith717 (approved!)
Insults Delivered / Funny Lines
19:58
(+3)
Euron Greyjoy:
Cersei: "20,000 men is it? is it?"
Harry Strickland: "Yes, your Grace. A few died in transit."
Euron Greyjoy: "They cheated at dice. Or maybe I cheated. Someone cheated." (Funny Line)
Harry Strickland: "Yes, your Grace. A few died in transit."
Euron Greyjoy: "They cheated at dice. Or maybe I cheated. Someone cheated." (Funny Line)
21:52
(+3)
Euron Greyjoy:
Cersei: "You're insolent. I've executed men for less."
Euron: "They were lesser men." (Witty Insult)
Euron: "They were lesser men." (Witty Insult)
to Daenerys, after his first dragon flight with Rhaegal: "You've completely ruined horses for me."
(Funny Line)
37:27
(+3)
Arya Stark:
The Hound: "You left me to die."
Arya: "First I robbed you." (Witty Insult)
Arya: "First I robbed you." (Witty Insult)
submitted by k.molseed (approved!)
38:53
(+3)
Arya Stark:
Gendry: "I always knew you were just another rich girl."
Arya: "You don't know any other rich girls." (Witty Insult)
Arya: "You don't know any other rich girls." (Witty Insult)
50:40
(+3)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Eddison Tollet: "Stay back, he's got blue eyes!"
Tormund: "I've always had blue eyes!!!" (Funny Line)
Tormund: "I've always had blue eyes!!!" (Funny Line)
Glasses of Wine Consumed
19:16
(+5)
Euron Greyjoy:
Euron drinks from his flask while chatting with Yara Greyjoy onboard his ship. He offers to Yara but she is apparently too proud to sell herself out for the fantasy points.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
Acts of Intercourse
25:25
(+5)
Euron Greyjoy:
Euron chats with Cersei after a romp in her chambers.
(Act of Intercourse)
25:25
(+5)
Euron Greyjoy:
Euron's right cheek is glimpsed as he pulls up his britches in Cersei's bedchambers.
(Non-sexual Nude Scene)
A Game of Thrones
Jon sits at the head of the table alongside Sansa as they host the Northern Lords at Winterfell.
(Basic Seat)
Jon Snow takes a seat after responding to Lyanna Mormont's call out.
"...when I left Winterfell, I told you we need allies or we will die. I have brought those allies home to fight alongside us. I had a choice, keep my crown or protect the North. I chose the North." (Basic Seat)
"...when I left Winterfell, I told you we need allies or we will die. I have brought those allies home to fight alongside us. I had a choice, keep my crown or protect the North. I chose the North." (Basic Seat)
Special
Tyrion, as he and Varys arrive to a frigid Winterfell: "You should consider yourself lucky. At least your balls won't freeze off."
(Special)
Varys: "You take great offense at dwarf jokes, but love telling eunuch jokes. Why is that?"
Tyrion: "Because I have balls... and you don't" (Special)
Tyrion: "Because I have balls... and you don't" (Special)
25:53
(+3)
Euron Greyjoy:
Euron questions Cersei about his performance compared to her other lovers.
Euron: "So how do I compare to the fat king?"
Cersei: "You're insulting my late husband?"
Euron: "Are you offended?"
Cersei: "Robert had a different whore every night, but he still didn't know his way around a woman's body."
Euron: "And the Kingslayer?"
Cersei: "You enjoy risking your neck, don't you?" (Special)
Euron: "So how do I compare to the fat king?"
Cersei: "You're insulting my late husband?"
Euron: "Are you offended?"
Cersei: "Robert had a different whore every night, but he still didn't know his way around a woman's body."
Euron: "And the Kingslayer?"
Cersei: "You enjoy risking your neck, don't you?" (Special)
The Feels
Jon arrives back home to Winterfell and embraces Bran, as Jon sees him for the first time in 7 seasons.
Jon: "Look at you. You're a man."
Bran: "Almost." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
Jon: "Look at you. You're a man."
Bran: "Almost." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
16:00
(+5)
Arya Stark:
Arya and Jon finally reunite in the Godswood of Winterfell and compare their fancy swords.
Arya: "I'm defending our family. And so is she (Sansa)."
Jon: "I'm her family too."
Arya: "Don't forget that." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
Arya: "I'm defending our family. And so is she (Sansa)."
Jon: "I'm her family too."
Arya: "Don't forget that." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
Arya and Jon finally reunite in the Godswood of Winterfell and compare their fancy swords.
Arya: "I'm defending our family. And so is she (Sansa)."
Jon: "I'm her family too."
Arya: "Don't forget that." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
Arya: "I'm defending our family. And so is she (Sansa)."
Jon: "I'm her family too."
Arya: "Don't forget that." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
29:17
(+5)
Yara Greyjoy:
Theon and Yara share an embrace before they part ways to fight their separate parts of the war.
Yara: "You want to go to Wintefell. To fight for the Starks. Go. What is dead may never die."
Theon: "What is dead may never die."
Yara: "But kill the bastards anyway." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
Yara: "You want to go to Wintefell. To fight for the Starks. Go. What is dead may never die."
Theon: "What is dead may never die."
Yara: "But kill the bastards anyway." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
After Bran issues a dire warning to everyone that the White Walkers are coming and how they don't have any time for this, Jon and Dany take a romantic getaway to the frost-covered waterfall on dragon-back.
Jon: "It's cold up here for a southern girl."
Dany: "So keep your Queen warm." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
Jon: "It's cold up here for a southern girl."
Dany: "So keep your Queen warm." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
submitted by kremershell (approved!)
As he tries to get his makeout session on with Daenerys, Jon enters a staring contest with Drogon who is watching with great interest.
(Ridiculously Funny Moment)
38:22
(+5)
Arya Stark:
Arya and Gendry reunite in the Winterfell forge, and share some banter from their days on the road.
Gendry: "It's not a bad place to grow up, if it wasn't so cold."
Arya: "Stay close to that forge, then."
Gendry: "Is that a command, Lady Stark?"
Arya: "Don't call me that."
Gendry: "As you wish, m'lady." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
Gendry: "It's not a bad place to grow up, if it wasn't so cold."
Arya: "Stay close to that forge, then."
Gendry: "Is that a command, Lady Stark?"
Arya: "Don't call me that."
Gendry: "As you wish, m'lady." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
50:39
(+3)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Edd and Tormund Giantsbane stumble upon each other at the Last Hearth.
Edd: "Stand back, he's got blue eyes!"
Tormund: "I've always had blue eyes!!" (Ridiculously Funny Moment)
Edd: "Stand back, he's got blue eyes!"
Tormund: "I've always had blue eyes!!" (Ridiculously Funny Moment)