Matchup: Keep Calm and Victarion vs Took Pills Kissed Danaerys for Ep 5
A Team has No Name
Kills
10:41
(+20)
Daenerys Targaryen:
After they refuse to bend the knee, Daenerys has Randyll and Dickon Tarly executed by dragonfire.
"Lord Randyll Tarly, Dickon Tarly, I, Daenerys of House Targaryen, First of My Name, Breaker of Chains, and Mother of Dragons, sentence you to die. Dracarys." (Kill of Named Character)
"Lord Randyll Tarly, Dickon Tarly, I, Daenerys of House Targaryen, First of My Name, Breaker of Chains, and Mother of Dragons, sentence you to die. Dracarys." (Kill of Named Character)
Political Wins
7:15
(+6)
Daenerys Targaryen:
Daenerys rounds up the Lannister prisoners in the aftermath of the battle, which include Randyll and Dickon Tarly.
(New Follower/Prisoner)
9:32
(+3)
Daenerys Targaryen:
Daenerys rejects Tyrion's pleas for mercy or alternative punishments for the Lannister army, choosing to burn those who will not bend.
"I meant what I said. I'm not here to put them in chains. If that becomes an option many will take it. I gave them a choice. They made it." (Executive Decision)
"I meant what I said. I'm not here to put them in chains. If that becomes an option many will take it. I gave them a choice. They made it." (Executive Decision)
18:06
(+3)
Daenerys Targaryen:
After getting that infection checked out at the Maester Clinic, Daenerys happily accepts Jorah Mormont back into service as her First Sword of the Friendzone.
Jorah: "I return to your service, my Queen, if you'll have me." (New Follower/Prisoner)
Jorah: "I return to your service, my Queen, if you'll have me." (New Follower/Prisoner)
34:49
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Davos tracks down Gendry in King's Landing. "I wasn't sure I'd find you. Thought you might still be rowing. I looked in shops, taverns, brothels. Should have known to come straight to the Street of Steel."
(Secret Discovery)
35:49
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Davos has an easier time than expected convincing Gendry to leave King's Landing.
Gendry: "You came to get me. You want me to come with you."
Davos Seaworth: "Well, the thing you need to understand is-"
Gendry: "I'm ready. Let's go." (New Follower/Prisoner)
Gendry: "You came to get me. You want me to come with you."
Davos Seaworth: "Well, the thing you need to understand is-"
Gendry: "I'm ready. Let's go." (New Follower/Prisoner)
Gilly learns about a secret marriage by Prince Rhaegar Targaryen recorded in a book by High Septon Maynard.
Gilly: "What does 'annulment' mean?"
Samwell: "It's when a man sets aside his lawful wife."
Gilly: "Maynard says here that he issued an annulment for a Prince 'Ragger' and remarried him to someone else at the same time in a secret ceremony in Dorne." (Secret Discovery)
Gilly: "What does 'annulment' mean?"
Samwell: "It's when a man sets aside his lawful wife."
Gilly: "Maynard says here that he issued an annulment for a Prince 'Ragger' and remarried him to someone else at the same time in a secret ceremony in Dorne." (Secret Discovery)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
48:41
(+3)
Samwell Tarly:
Samwell steals several books and records from the restricted area of the library and abandons the Citadel with Gilly and little Sam.
Gilly: "Are you sure you want to do this? You always wanted to be a Maester."
Samwell: "I'm tired of reading about the achievements of better men." (Act of Betrayal)
Gilly: "Are you sure you want to do this? You always wanted to be a Maester."
Samwell: "I'm tired of reading about the achievements of better men." (Act of Betrayal)
53:29
(+3)
Arya Stark:
Arya breaks into Littlefinger's chambers and discovers the hidden raven letter, a note from Sansa Stark while she was held captive in King's Landing, asking Robb Stark to come south and bend the knee.
(Secret Discovery)
Insults Delivered / Funny Lines
31:25
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
after smuggling Tyrion through Blackwater Bay: "There's a path to the left that hugs the cliff. The guards hardly ever patrol it. Too many steps."
(Funny Line)
31:41
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Tyrion: "What if someone takes the boat?"
Davos: "Then we're fooked. Best hurry." (Funny Line)
Davos: "Then we're fooked. Best hurry." (Funny Line)
34:48
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
to Gendry: "I wasn't sure I'd find you. Thought you might still be rowing."
(Funny Line)
35:11
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Gendry: "Aren't you worried about the Gold Cloaks?"
Davos: "Haven't been here in years. Why should they recognize me? Sometimes I hardly do.
Nothing fucks you harder than time." (Funny Line)
Davos: "Haven't been here in years. Why should they recognize me? Sometimes I hardly do.
Nothing fucks you harder than time." (Funny Line)
37:33
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Gold Cloaks, after already accepting Davos' bribe: "What's in the boat?
Davos: "Not more gold." (Comeback)
Davos: "Not more gold." (Comeback)
37:58
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Davos explains the goods he's smuggling in his boat.
"Fermented crab. One bucket of this triples a brothel's earnings for the week. A man thinks he's done. He's ready to go back to his loving family. But before he gets his breeches up, his lady of the hour pops a tiny spoon of that into his mouth. Five minutes later, he's back in the race." (Funny Line)
"Fermented crab. One bucket of this triples a brothel's earnings for the week. A man thinks he's done. He's ready to go back to his loving family. But before he gets his breeches up, his lady of the hour pops a tiny spoon of that into his mouth. Five minutes later, he's back in the race." (Funny Line)
38:32
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
to the Gold Cloaks after giving them a free sample of the fermented crab: "I'd hurry to your favorite establishment, or you'll put a hole in that chainmail."
(Funny Line)
39:06
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
"I really wouldn't try any more until you see how the first bite hits you." (as the Gold Cloaks return to the boat of fermented crab to get a better look at Tyrion)
(Funny Line)
44:38
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Gendry: "I owe you my life. Twice over. But if what you said is true about what's up there, I can't wait out this war."
Davos: "Yep, nobody mind me. All I've ever done is live to a ripe old age." (Funny Line)
Davos: "Yep, nobody mind me. All I've ever done is live to a ripe old age." (Funny Line)
47:05
(+3)
Samwell Tarly:
Gilly: "Guess how many windows are in the Great Sept of Baelor.
Sam: "None anymore." (Funny Line)
Sam: "None anymore." (Funny Line)
47:58
(+3)
Samwell Tarly:
Sam goes on a rant to Gilly about the order of Maesters: "We can all become slavering, murderous imbeciles in thrall to evil incarnate as long as we can have access to the full records of High Septon Maynard's 15,782 shits!"
(Witty Insult)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
Samwell Tarly, complaining about his menial scribing tasks: "We can all become slavering, murderous imbeciles in thrall to evil incarnate as long as we can have access to the full records of High Septon Maynard's 15,782 shits!"
Gilly: "Steps. That number was the steps." (Funny Line)
Gilly: "Steps. That number was the steps." (Funny Line)
54:17
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Tormund: "Isn't it your job to talk him out of stupid fucking ideas like this?"
Davos: "I've been failing at that job of late. (Funny Line)
Davos: "I've been failing at that job of late. (Funny Line)
The Hound interrupts Beric's grand monologue.
Beric: "It doesn't matter what we think our reasons are. There's a greater purpose at work. And we serve it together, whether we know it or not. We may take the steps, but the Lord of Light-"
Hound: "For fuck's sake, will you shut your hole? Are we coming with you or not?" (Funny Line)
Beric: "It doesn't matter what we think our reasons are. There's a greater purpose at work. And we serve it together, whether we know it or not. We may take the steps, but the Lord of Light-"
Hound: "For fuck's sake, will you shut your hole? Are we coming with you or not?" (Funny Line)
Special
10:24
(+3)
Daenerys Targaryen:
"Lord Randyll Tarly, Dickon Tarly, I, Daenerys of House Targaryen, First of My Name, Breaker of Chains, and Mother of Dragons, sentence you to die. Dracarys."
(Special)
46:49
(+3)
Samwell Tarly:
Sam reads from a book as he transcribes it onto a fresh set of paper, before handing it over to Baby Sam.
(Special)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
Gilly recites some Maester trivia she has just learned: "Do you know how many steps there are in the Citadel? 15,782."
(Special)
Gilly learns about annulments and a secret marriage.
Gilly: "What does 'annulment' mean?"
Samwell: "It's when a man sets aside his lawful wife."
Gilly: "Maynard says here that he issued an annulment for a Prince 'Ragger' and remarried him to someone else at the same time in a secret ceremony in Dorne." (Special)
Gilly: "What does 'annulment' mean?"
Samwell: "It's when a man sets aside his lawful wife."
Gilly: "Maynard says here that he issued an annulment for a Prince 'Ragger' and remarried him to someone else at the same time in a secret ceremony in Dorne." (Special)
The Feels
15:08
(+0)
Daenerys Targaryen:
Jon Snow, secret Targaryen, shares a moment and boops le snoot of the fierce and beautiful - gorgeous!, actually - Drogon.
(Warm Fuzzy Moment)
45:47
(+0)
Daenerys Targaryen:
Daenerys says her goodbyes to Jorah once again, as she takes his hands into hers.
Daenerys: "We should be better at saying farewell by now."
Jorah: "Your Grace, I-" (stunned speechless by actual physical contact) (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
Daenerys: "We should be better at saying farewell by now."
Jorah: "Your Grace, I-" (stunned speechless by actual physical contact) (Warm Fuzzy Moment)