Matchup: Davos Seaworth's prostate vs the (Wooden) Sword of the Morning for Ep 7

/r/asoiaf

Davos Seaworth's prostate (jacob.letterbox)

Character	Drafted	Total	Kills	Politics	Insults
Jaime Lannister The second of the Lannister children, he is Cersei's lover and twin brother, and also the father of her three (now deceased) bastard children, the supposed sons and daughters of the late King Robert Baratheon. He also serves as Lord Commander of the Kingsguard.	#7	6	0	3	3
Theon Greyjoy Heir to the Iron Islands, and formerly a ward of House Stark. Theon is slowly recovering from physical and mental breakdown during his time as a prisoner of Ramsay Bolton. He currently accompanies his sister Yara Greyjoy, who has pledged her Ironborn forces to the cause of Daenerys Targaryen.	#27	4	1	3	0
Gregor Clegane (The Mountain) A knight and the head of House Clegane, he serves as a member of the Kingsguard and Cersei's personal muscle. He is a massive and impossibly strong warrior, although he remains speechless and zombie-like ever since being wounded in a Trial by Combat against Oberyn Martell.	#14	0	0	0	0
Hallyne (Pyromancer) The head of the Alchemists' Guild, Hallyne is a skilled pyromancer and is able to produce wildfire, an explosive and volatile substance.	#74	0	0	0	0
Qhono A Dothraki bloodrider, he swears allegiance to Daenerys after she burns all of the other Khals alive in Dosh Khaleen.	#67	0	0	0	0
Obara Sand The eldest of Prince Oberyn Martell's bastard children, known as the Sand Snakes. She wields a spear.	#34	0	0	0	0
Edmure Tully Catelyn Stark's brother, and the heir to House Tully and Riverrun. He is held as a prisoner of Lord Walder Frey after the betrayal at the Red Wedding.	#47	0	0	0	0
Tycho Nestoris A representative of the Iron Bank of Braavos, a powerful bank who holds a large sum of debt from the Iron Throne.	#54	0	0	0	0
Totals		10	1	6	3

the (Wooden) Sword of the Morning (ben.j.duly)

Character	Drafted	Total	Kills	Politics	Sex
Jon Snow Recently declared King in the North, he is the bastard son of Ned Stark, and formerly served as Lord Commander of the Night's Watch before he was betrayed by his fellow men.	#3	18	2	6	10
Jaqen H'ghar The leader of the Faceless Men of Braavos, and a skilled assassin. He trains Arya to become an assassin in the House of Black and White, although she later leaves his training to return to Westeros.	#43	0	0	0	0
Varys Formerly the Master of Whisperers in King's Landing, Varys now pulls the political strings for Daenerys Targaryen, arranging alliances with the Westerosi Houses Tyrell and Martell. He controls a vast network of spies.	#23	0	0	0	0
Gilly A wildling who lived north of the Wall. After she befriended Samwell Tarly, she escaped with him to Castle Black, and has sailed to Oldtown with Samwell as he begins his Maester's training.	#38	0	0	0	0
Hot Pie An orphan from King's Landing. He works at the Inn at the Crossroads as a baker.	#63	0	0	0	0
Beric Dondarrion Lord of Blackhaven, bannermen to House Baratheon. He leads the Brotherhood Without Banners, an outlaw fighting group in the Riverlands.	#18	0	0	0	0
Yezzan zo Qaggaz (slave trader) A slave trader from Yunkai. He briefly owns Jorah Mormont, who he brings to the fighting pits of Meereen, and is present during the slavers' attack on Meereen. He is the only slave master spared by Daenerys, who sends him to Astapor with a message for those who would oppose the Mother of Dragons.	#58	0	0	0	0
Alys Karstark	#78	0	0	0	0
Totals		18	2	6	10

Kills

23:04 (+2) Jon Snow:

At the audience in King's Landing, Jon demonstrates the two ways of defeating the Army of the Dead, burning the wight's severed hand, and then finishing off the dismembered wight with a dragonglass dagger. (Kill of Unnamed Character)

Dang, I thought Qyburn was going to come away with a new specimen for his experiments here. Would've been cool to see a franken-wight in S8. -nyan

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2017 Aug 29 Lem Lemoncake and emilydcampa like this
I noticed the "Captured Wight" was added as a draftable character. Would that not make him more significant / a named character? -kimbo

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2017 Aug 29 brandonthebigB, jedjackoway, jake.kmiech like this
I think we'll keep the criteria for "boss fight", which is the character being featured in a battle scene being a badass and/or owning the other extras. Not every draftable character will qualify to be a named/boss fight kill, we had this earlier with a few speculative draftable characters that ended up having extremely minor roles. -nyan

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2017 Aug 29

53:24 (+1) Theon Greyjoy:

Theon makes a comeback in round two with Harrag, wearing out the older Ironborn's kneecap on his impervious groin area, and then pounding him into submission. (Minor Injury of Named Character)

Harrag needs to work on cardio. He had this one in the bag. -nyan

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2017 Aug 29 hkeseyan and jake.kmiech like this
Also I thought Harrag was killed off in this one, but according to the wiki he was simply "beaten senseless" but there's no citation on that. I think we're free to make our own interpretation. They seemed to just leave Harrag lying on the beach, but I don't know whether that's a point for alive or dead. Also I'm not convinced that Theon can kill anybody with his bare fists. -nyan

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2017 Aug 29
Season finale death rule? Leaving a minor character beaten senseless, ambiguously dead or alive, on a beach with no ship, food or water in a season finale -hkeseyan

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2017 Aug 29 hindsight44 and jake.kmiech like this
Yeah i dont see how Harrag is surviving this. Also what about boss fight. Theon needed to beat him for his charcter arc to continue. Also As we all know a good boss fight requires a secret strategy/weapon to defeat the boss. The "let him kick me in the balls to throw him off" strategy is epic. -hindsight44

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2017 Aug 29 jake.kmiech likes this
Yeah, I think the ambiguity of whether or not he's alive is akin to Stannis' death in Season 5. We don't know for sure that he's dead after that initial scene, as we never technically see it, but his death was counted then for the same reason -jake.kmiech

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2017 Aug 29
Yeah, for this it basically becomes a judgment call we can make. This fight happens on Dragonstone I believe, so Harrag isn't completely stranded. I also think that it's also not in Theon's character to straight up kill a guy just to take away his crew.

The boss fight criteria isn't actually needed, since Harrag has a name so it'd count for full points either way. -nyan

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2017 Aug 29 hindsight44 and brandonthebigB like this

Political Wins

26:54 (+3) Jon Snow:

In what is universally regarded as a terrible idea by all sides, Jon single-handedly dissolves the Lannister-Targaryen truce in the name of honor and hopefully getting into Daenerys' pants later.

Cersei: "In return, the King in the North will extend this truce. He will remain in the North where he belongs. He will not take up arms against the Lannisters. He will not choose sides. ... I know Ned Stark's son will be true to his word."
Jon Snow: "I am true to my word. Or I try to be. That is why I cannot give you what you ask. I cannot serve two queens. And I have already pledged myself to Queen Daenerys of House Targaryen." (Executive Decision)

40:01 (+3) Jaime Lannister:

After a private meeting with Tyrion, Cersei agrees to a truce with the Targaryen and Northern forces so that they may collectively combat the White Walker threat, completing the deal brokered by Tyrion, Jaime, and Bronn's secret meeting. (Deals Brokered)

submitted by nyan (approved!)

45:47 (+3) Jon Snow:

Jon convinces Daenerys to sail with him to the North, rather than flying on her own.

"It's your decision, Your Grace. But if we're going to be allies in this war, it's important for the Northerners to see us as allies. If we sail to White Harbor together, I think it sends a better message." (Convincing Argument)

53:29 (+3) Theon Greyjoy:

Theon wins over Harrag's crew of Ironborn after punching him out on the beaches of Dragonstone. "Not for me. For Yara!" (Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)

Insults Delivered / Funny Lines

5:04 (+3) Jaime Lannister:

Bronn and Jaime discuss the Unsullied army standing outside the gates of King's Landing.

Bronn: "Men without cocks. You wouldn't find me fighting in an army if I had no cock. What's left to fight for?"
Jaime: "Gold?"
Bronn: "I spent my life around soldiers. What do you think they spend that gold on?"
Jaime: "Family."
Bronn: "Not without a cock, you don't."
Jaime: "Maybe it really is all cocks in the end" (Funny Line)

submitted by kevinpetsky (approved!)

Acts of Intercourse

61:12 (+10) Jon Snow:

Jon Snow's ignites his latent Targaryen instincts to incest with his aunt Daenerys aboard her ship as they sail for White Harbor. (Act of Intercourse)

The Feels

48:49 (+0) Theon Greyjoy:

Jon Snow comes around to forgive Theon for his betrayals to their family.

Theon: "I always wanted to do the right thing. Be the right kind of person. But I never knew what that meant. It always seemed like there's like there was an impossible choice I had to make. Stark or Greyjoy."

Jon Snow: "Our father was more of a father to you than yours ever was. ... And you betrayed him. Betrayed his memory. ... But you never lost him. He's a part of you. Just like he's a part of me. But the things I've done It's not my place to forgive you for all of it.
But what I can forgive, I do. You don't need to choose. You're a Greyjoy and you're a Stark." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)

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