Matchup: Something Clever About GoT vs Game of Theons for Ep 7
Title required, pants optional
Kills
After revealing the wight to the audience in King's Landing, Sandor Clegane reels back its chain and bisects the wight as it charges him.
(Major Injury of Unnamed Character)
53:24
(+1)
Theon Greyjoy:
Theon makes a comeback in round two with Harrag, wearing out the older Ironborn's kneecap on his impervious groin area, and then pounding him into submission.
(Minor Injury of Named Character)
Political Wins
40:01
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
After a private meeting with Tyrion, Cersei agrees to a truce with the Targaryen and Northern forces so that they may collectively combat the White Walker threat, completing the deal brokered by Tyrion, Jaime, and Bronn's secret meeting.
(Deals Brokered)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
53:29
(+3)
Theon Greyjoy:
Theon wins over Harrag's crew of Ironborn after punching him out on the beaches of Dragonstone. "Not for me. For Yara!"
(Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
55:58
(+3)
Sansa Stark:
"You stand accused of murder. You stand accused of treason. How do you answer these charges... Lord Baelish?"
(Act of Betrayal)
57:44
(+3)
Bran Stark:
Bran reveals his knowledge of Littlefinger's actions in King's Landing.
Sansa Stark: "Do you deny it?"
Petyr Baelish: "I deny it! None of you were there to see what happened. None of you knows the truth."
Bran: "You held a knife to his throat. You said, 'I did warn you not the trust me.'" (Secret Discovery)
Sansa Stark: "Do you deny it?"
Petyr Baelish: "I deny it! None of you were there to see what happened. None of you knows the truth."
Bran: "You held a knife to his throat. You said, 'I did warn you not the trust me.'" (Secret Discovery)
69:44
(+3)
Bran Stark:
At Sam Tarly's prompting, Bran wargs into the past to witness the secret wedding ceremony between Rhaegar Targaryen and Lyanna Stark, confirming Jon Snow's trueborn lineage and rightful claim to the Iron Throne.
(Secret Discovery)
Insults Delivered / Funny Lines
5:04
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Bronn and Jaime discuss the Unsullied army standing outside the gates of King's Landing.
Bronn: "Men without cocks. You wouldn't find me fighting in an army if I had no cock. What's left to fight for?"
Jaime: "Gold?"
Bronn: "I spent my life around soldiers. What do you think they spend that gold on?"
Jaime: "Family."
Bronn: "Not without a cock, you don't."
Jaime: "Maybe it really is all cocks in the end" (Funny Line)
Bronn: "Men without cocks. You wouldn't find me fighting in an army if I had no cock. What's left to fight for?"
Jaime: "Gold?"
Bronn: "I spent my life around soldiers. What do you think they spend that gold on?"
Jaime: "Family."
Bronn: "Not without a cock, you don't."
Jaime: "Maybe it really is all cocks in the end" (Funny Line)
submitted by kevinpetsky (approved!)
Sandor Clegane: "Am I going to die in this shit city?"
Tyrion Lanniser: "You might."
Sandor: "And this is all your idea. Seems every bad idea has some Lannister cunt behind it." (Witty Insult)
Tyrion Lanniser: "You might."
Sandor: "And this is all your idea. Seems every bad idea has some Lannister cunt behind it." (Witty Insult)
to Gregor Clegane: "Remember me? Yeah, you do. You're even fucking uglier than I am now. What did they do to you? Doesn't matter. That's not how it ends for you, brother. You know who's coming for you. You've always known."
(Threat)
Acts of Intercourse
61:12
(+10)
Daenerys Targaryen:
Daenerys invites Jon Snow into her room so that he can properly bend the knee.
(Act of Intercourse)
Deaths
Littlefinger has his throat slit by Arya Stark, after his betrayals and treason are exposed by Sansa Stark in the court of Winterfell to the Northern and Vale lords.
Sansa: "Thank you for all your many lessons, Lord Baelish. I will never forget them." (Death)
Sansa: "Thank you for all your many lessons, Lord Baelish. I will never forget them." (Death)
Special
69:44
(+3)
Bran Stark:
At Sam Tarly's prompting, Bran wargs into the past to witness the secret wedding ceremony between Rhaegar Targaryen and Lyanna Stark.
(Special)
74:26
(+3)
Bran Stark:
Bran wargs by the weirwood tree, controlling a flock of ravens flying over Eastwatch-by-the-Sea.
(Special)
The Feels
48:49
(+0)
Theon Greyjoy:
Jon Snow comes around to forgive Theon for his betrayals to their family.
Theon: "I always wanted to do the right thing. Be the right kind of person. But I never knew what that meant. It always seemed like there's like there was an impossible choice I had to make. Stark or Greyjoy."
Jon Snow: "Our father was more of a father to you than yours ever was. ... And you betrayed him. Betrayed his memory. ... But you never lost him. He's a part of you. Just like he's a part of me. But the things I've done It's not my place to forgive you for all of it.
But what I can forgive, I do. You don't need to choose. You're a Greyjoy and you're a Stark." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
Theon: "I always wanted to do the right thing. Be the right kind of person. But I never knew what that meant. It always seemed like there's like there was an impossible choice I had to make. Stark or Greyjoy."
Jon Snow: "Our father was more of a father to you than yours ever was. ... And you betrayed him. Betrayed his memory. ... But you never lost him. He's a part of you. Just like he's a part of me. But the things I've done It's not my place to forgive you for all of it.
But what I can forgive, I do. You don't need to choose. You're a Greyjoy and you're a Stark." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)