Matchup: Something Clever About GoT vs Game of Theons for Ep 7

Title required, pants optional

Something Clever About GoT (rrasmussen4)

Character	Drafted	Total	Politics	Insults	Sex
Daenerys Targaryen Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen, Mother of Dragons and Breaker of Chains. With her three dragons and army of Unsullied soldiers she carved out an empire of liberated slave cities in the east, and she now sets her sights westward as she sails for the Seven Kingdoms to reclaim the Iron Throne.	#1	10	0	0	10
Jaime Lannister The second of the Lannister children, he is Cersei's lover and twin brother, and also the father of her three (now deceased) bastard children, the supposed sons and daughters of the late King Robert Baratheon. He also serves as Lord Commander of the Kingsguard.	#8	6	3	3	0
Gendry A bastard son of Robert Baratheon, although this fact is not widely known (even to Gendry himself). After being captured by Melisandre, he is freed by Ser Davos and escaped Dragonstone by rowboat. His whereabouts are currently unknown, but he will likely emerge at some point with the swolest arms Westeros has ever seen.	#21	0	0	0	0
Beric Dondarrion Lord of Blackhaven, bannermen to House Baratheon. He leads the Brotherhood Without Banners, an outlaw fighting group in the Riverlands.	-	0	0	0	0
Gregor Clegane (The Mountain) A knight and the head of House Clegane, he serves as a member of the Kingsguard and Cersei's personal muscle. He is a massive and impossibly strong warrior, although he remains speechless and zombie-like ever since being wounded in a Trial by Combat against Oberyn Martell.	#32	0	0	0	0
Melisandre A Red Priestess from Asshai, Melisandre has demonstrated mythical skill in blood magic, most recently reviving a deceased Jon Snow. After Davos Seaworth exposes her live sacrifice of the child Shireen Baratheon, she has been exiled by Jon Snow.	#25	0	0	0	0
Varys Formerly the Master of Whisperers in King's Landing, Varys now pulls the political strings for Daenerys Targaryen, arranging alliances with the Westerosi Houses Tyrell and Martell. He controls a vast network of spies.	#16	0	0	0	0
Archmaester Ebrose Archmaester at the Citadel in Oldtown, where new Maesters are trained.	-	0	0	0	0
Totals		16	3	3	10

Game of Theons (realaregula)

Character	Drafted	Total	Kills	Politics	Insults	Deaths	Special
Bran Stark The fourth of the Stark children. A greenseer and a warg, Bran has mystical visions of the future and past, and has the ability to leap into the minds of others to control them - power he is only beginning to tap into. After having encountered the Three-Eyed Raven and the Night King in the far north, he now flees back south to the Wall.	#12	12	0	6	0	0	6
Sandor Clegane (The Hound) A fearsome Lannister knight, formerly known as the Hound. After being left for dead after losing a fight with Brienne of Tarth, he recovered and briefly reformed as a laborer in a nonviolent commune, but has joined with Beric Dondarrion and the Brotherhood without Banners after bandits attack and destroy the village.	#5	7	1	0	6	0	0
Petyr Baelish (Littlefinger) Lord Protector of the Vale, Littlefinger effectively controls the Knights of the Vale through the easily manipulated Robbin Arryn. He is a master manipulator who will stop at nothing for power.	#20	5	0	0	0	5	0
Theon Greyjoy Heir to the Iron Islands, and formerly a ward of House Stark. Theon is slowly recovering from physical and mental breakdown during his time as a prisoner of Ramsay Bolton. He currently accompanies his sister Yara Greyjoy, who has pledged her Ironborn forces to the cause of Daenerys Targaryen.	#13	4	1	3	0	0	0
Sansa Stark The second eldest of the Stark children. After being held as a prisoner of House Bolton, Sansa managed to escape and, with the help of Jon Snow and the Knights of the Vale, defeated Ramsay Bolton to reclaim Winterfell for the Starks. She is a huge fan of lemon cakes.	#4	3	0	3	0	0	0
Yara Greyjoy Theon's older sister, Yara was raised on the Iron Islands as a true Ironborn. She is a fearsome fighter and commands a longship of her own. After her uncle Euron Greyjoy seizes control of the Iron Islands, she flees with Theon and her loyal troops to ally with Daenerys Targaryen, whose dragons and armies sail west to retake Westeros.	-	0	0	0	0	0	0
Meera Reed The eldest child of Howland Reed, bannerman to the Starks. She assists Bran in his journeys north of the Wall and is the only other surviving member of his party.	#29	0	0	0	0	0	0
Lyanna Mormont The spunky young head of House Mormont.	#28	0	0	0	0	0	0
Totals		31	2	12	6	5	6

Kills

22:15 (+1) Sandor Clegane (The Hound):

After revealing the wight to the audience in King's Landing, Sandor Clegane reels back its chain and bisects the wight as it charges him. (Major Injury of Unnamed Character)

53:24 (+1) Theon Greyjoy:

Theon makes a comeback in round two with Harrag, wearing out the older Ironborn's kneecap on his impervious groin area, and then pounding him into submission. (Minor Injury of Named Character)

Harrag needs to work on cardio. He had this one in the bag. -nyan

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2017 Aug 29 hkeseyan and jake.kmiech like this
Also I thought Harrag was killed off in this one, but according to the wiki he was simply "beaten senseless" but there's no citation on that. I think we're free to make our own interpretation. They seemed to just leave Harrag lying on the beach, but I don't know whether that's a point for alive or dead. Also I'm not convinced that Theon can kill anybody with his bare fists. -nyan

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2017 Aug 29
Season finale death rule? Leaving a minor character beaten senseless, ambiguously dead or alive, on a beach with no ship, food or water in a season finale -hkeseyan

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2017 Aug 29 hindsight44 and jake.kmiech like this
Yeah i dont see how Harrag is surviving this. Also what about boss fight. Theon needed to beat him for his charcter arc to continue. Also As we all know a good boss fight requires a secret strategy/weapon to defeat the boss. The "let him kick me in the balls to throw him off" strategy is epic. -hindsight44

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2017 Aug 29 jake.kmiech likes this
Yeah, I think the ambiguity of whether or not he's alive is akin to Stannis' death in Season 5. We don't know for sure that he's dead after that initial scene, as we never technically see it, but his death was counted then for the same reason -jake.kmiech

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2017 Aug 29
Yeah, for this it basically becomes a judgment call we can make. This fight happens on Dragonstone I believe, so Harrag isn't completely stranded. I also think that it's also not in Theon's character to straight up kill a guy just to take away his crew.

The boss fight criteria isn't actually needed, since Harrag has a name so it'd count for full points either way. -nyan

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2017 Aug 29 hindsight44 and brandonthebigB like this

Political Wins

40:01 (+3) Jaime Lannister:

After a private meeting with Tyrion, Cersei agrees to a truce with the Targaryen and Northern forces so that they may collectively combat the White Walker threat, completing the deal brokered by Tyrion, Jaime, and Bronn's secret meeting. (Deals Brokered)

submitted by nyan (approved!)

53:29 (+3) Theon Greyjoy:

Theon wins over Harrag's crew of Ironborn after punching him out on the beaches of Dragonstone. "Not for me. For Yara!" (Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)

55:58 (+3) Sansa Stark:

"You stand accused of murder. You stand accused of treason. How do you answer these charges... Lord Baelish?" (Act of Betrayal)

Why didn't Sansa get the points for Littlefinger getting executed? Arya says that it happened because of Sansa's order. -fatcatt316

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2017 Aug 29
Only 3 points to Sansa for orchestrating LF's execution? Is this not, at least, a "major decision?" -marr.virginia

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2017 Aug 29
@fatcatt316 the Kills scoring for S7 requires that "he who passes the sentence should swing the sword", so the ordered executions no longer count, only the person doing the actual dirty work.

@marr.virginia the major decision is for characters having debates and one character winning over the other. I don't think the Stark kids debated over this one very much. -nyan

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2017 Aug 29
OK rules are rules. "He who passes the sentence should swing the sword" isn't the most clear justification for the rules, though. Arya did not pass the sentence. Conversely, Daenerys never swings the sword. Even though she has dragons(!), I don't remember her ever "doing the actual dirty work." -marr.virginia

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2017 Aug 29
Danys special is that her dragons contribute to her actions. If that wasnt her special she wouldnt get points -hindsight44

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2017 Aug 29

57:44 (+3) Bran Stark:

Bran reveals his knowledge of Littlefinger's actions in King's Landing.

Sansa Stark: "Do you deny it?"
Petyr Baelish: "I deny it! None of you were there to see what happened. None of you knows the truth."
Bran: "You held a knife to his throat. You said, 'I did warn you not the trust me.'" (Secret Discovery)

69:44 (+3) Bran Stark:

At Sam Tarly's prompting, Bran wargs into the past to witness the secret wedding ceremony between Rhaegar Targaryen and Lyanna Stark, confirming Jon Snow's trueborn lineage and rightful claim to the Iron Throne. (Secret Discovery)

Insults Delivered / Funny Lines

5:04 (+3) Jaime Lannister:

Bronn and Jaime discuss the Unsullied army standing outside the gates of King's Landing.

Bronn: "Men without cocks. You wouldn't find me fighting in an army if I had no cock. What's left to fight for?"
Jaime: "Gold?"
Bronn: "I spent my life around soldiers. What do you think they spend that gold on?"
Jaime: "Family."
Bronn: "Not without a cock, you don't."
Jaime: "Maybe it really is all cocks in the end" (Funny Line)

submitted by kevinpetsky (approved!)

13:40 (+3) Sandor Clegane (The Hound):

Sandor Clegane: "Am I going to die in this shit city?"
Tyrion Lanniser: "You might."
Sandor: "And this is all your idea. Seems every bad idea has some Lannister cunt behind it." (Witty Insult)

14:57 (+3) Sandor Clegane (The Hound):

to Gregor Clegane: "Remember me? Yeah, you do. You're even fucking uglier than I am now. What did they do to you? Doesn't matter. That's not how it ends for you, brother. You know who's coming for you. You've always known." (Threat)

Acts of Intercourse

61:12 (+10) Daenerys Targaryen:

Daenerys invites Jon Snow into her room so that he can properly bend the knee. (Act of Intercourse)

One boob. http://i.imgur.com/Q4NnVAU.jpg -nyan

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2017 Aug 29
Shouldn't we teeeeechnically get incest points? maybe? -williamfmarr

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2017 Aug 29
Only Cersei and Jaime get those for their special ability :o -Lem Lemoncake

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2017 Aug 29 jedjackoway likes this
I think it may be fun to make that a general scoring booster for the sex category. And just +1 (+5) rather than the doubling. If we can think of one more additional couple that might incest, I'll add it for S8 and the rewatches. -nyan

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2017 Sep 1 jake.kmiech likes this
And so it begins.

Quick question. The new rule which says direct contact with certain body parts including the breasts and buttoz will receive points for intercourse.

Would this include a simple pat on the butt? -hindsight44

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2019 Feb 3
Oh man it's been a year and a half, I can't wait to get back into these debate. ?

By the letter of the ruling, a pat on the butt counts. But I do agree it's a bit PG. I'd be inclined to add in an "... except butts" exception to that line. -nyan

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2019 Feb 27

Deaths

60:16 (+5) Petyr Baelish (Littlefinger):

Littlefinger has his throat slit by Arya Stark, after his betrayals and treason are exposed by Sansa Stark in the court of Winterfell to the Northern and Vale lords.

Sansa: "Thank you for all your many lessons, Lord Baelish. I will never forget them." (Death)

Is anyone else upset with how LF went out? Until this season LF had the most unpredictable plans and was always smart enough to have someone else do the dirty work for him. This season his scheme was in your face and obvious. He always played 4 dimensional chess and this season it was 1 dimensional. Also say what you want about him but LF wouldnt beg for his life. He was willing to fight and die against Brandon Stark and also advised to risk everything because life is fleeting. I never really cared about how the show differs from the book as long as the characters stay the same. I really feel like this was a misrepresentation of LF. -hindsight44

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2017 Aug 29 jake.kmiech, nyan, hkeseyan like this
I feel like they dragged his death on for so long - he was basically kept as a laying duck all season while we knew his demise was coming. He did practically nothing with the extra time he was given to live (all the failed whispering in Sansa's ear was so bad, I'd rather have LF killed off earlier than see him like that). Similar situation with Varys except they haven't built an entire plotline in a major location around his demise -hkeseyan

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2017 Aug 29 hindsight44, jake.kmiech, nyan like this
Definitely, Littlefinger was always the most dangerous man in Westeros, I imagined his demise would see him get all the way to the pinnacle of power, and only then to get backstabbed by Sansa.

I'd have a hard time writing a good S7 storyline for Littlefinger though. I think they put themselves into a corner by showing Sansa was through with him and saw everything. In my fantasy storyline, Sansa is the only Stark who sees a reedeming quality in Baelish, and goes along with his schemes against the better advice of all her family and followers. And then at the pinnacle do we find out that Sansa was the one playing an even longer game, and perhaps she can actually be as selfishly power-thirsty as Arya accuses her. It'd be awesome if we had one Stark who was questionably a villain, and not all goody-goodies. -nyan

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2017 Aug 29 jake.kmiech and hindsight44 like this
Isn't Arya the villain Stark? I know that the series tries to make her somewhat sympathetic every now and then, that she is still the little Arya girl, but she actually went full blown egomaniac, sociopath and serial killer since she left King's Landing - which is even comprehensible considering her experiences and possible traumas. -Lem Lemoncake

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2017 Aug 30

Special

69:44 (+3) Bran Stark:

At Sam Tarly's prompting, Bran wargs into the past to witness the secret wedding ceremony between Rhaegar Targaryen and Lyanna Stark. (Special)

74:26 (+3) Bran Stark:

Bran wargs by the weirwood tree, controlling a flock of ravens flying over Eastwatch-by-the-Sea. (Special)

The Feels

48:49 (+0) Theon Greyjoy:

Jon Snow comes around to forgive Theon for his betrayals to their family.

Theon: "I always wanted to do the right thing. Be the right kind of person. But I never knew what that meant. It always seemed like there's like there was an impossible choice I had to make. Stark or Greyjoy."

Jon Snow: "Our father was more of a father to you than yours ever was. ... And you betrayed him. Betrayed his memory. ... But you never lost him. He's a part of you. Just like he's a part of me. But the things I've done It's not my place to forgive you for all of it.
But what I can forgive, I do. You don't need to choose. You're a Greyjoy and you're a Stark." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)

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