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Theon's Sausage | Fantasora

Theon's Sausage

A Song of Ice and Friendship

Owner: mrudd27

3-7, 46 roto pts (#1)
Z-Score: 1.317 (percentile: 90.62%)
Weeks at #1: 0
Categories won: Kills (608)
Best Week: Episode 10: The Winds of Winter (+11 roto points)
Team MVP: Cersei Lannister (picked #3, 665 points, 81.3% of team total)
Longest winstreak: W-1

Roster Stats

Character Drafted Total Kills Politics Insults Wine Sex Thrones Deaths Special Feels
Queen Regent of the Seven Kingdoms and mother to King Tommen. Afflicted by a rare water allergy.
#3 665 598 15 9 15 10 0 0 18 0
The leader of the Sparrows, a religious movement within the Faith of the Seven. After being appointed as High Septon by Cersei Lannister, he has lead a sweeping inquiry to root out moral corruption in King's Landing, imprisoning Loras Tyrell, Margaery Tyrell, and Cersei Lannister.
#19 45 5 24 6 0 0 0 10 0 0
Ser Davos is a knight serving Stannis Baratheon, and one of his most trusted advisors. He is often at odds with the Red Priestess Melisandre.
#14 36 0 15 21 0 0 0 0 0 0
A cousin to the Lannister children. In a past life he was a stuttering servant to King Robert Baratheon and secret consort to his cousin Queen Cersei Lannister. Lancel now serves as a leading member of the Sparrows, a dangerously militant religious group whose power over King's Landing is growing.
#30 18 5 3 0 0 0 0 10 0 0
The head of House Greyjoy and Lord of the Iron Islands. He is the father of Theon, who was given up as a ward to the Starks after Balon's failed rebellion against the Iron Throne.
#51 18 0 3 3 0 0 0 12 0 0
A mysterious man who lives far north of the Wall with the Children of the Forest. He has been guiding Bran's dreams through the form of a three-eyed raven.
#46 15 0 0 0 0 0 0 15 0 0
A Septa and member of the Most Devout, the council that rules the Faith of the Seven. She rings the shame! shame! shame! bell.
#62 13 0 0 3 10 0 0 0 0 0
A Red Priest from the city of Myr - he is a member of the Brotherhood Without Banners, led by Beric Dondarrion.
#35 8 0 0 3 5 0 0 0 0 0
Samwell's mother.
- 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Totals 818 608 60 45 30 10 0 47 18 0

Roster

charId Character Special
18
Queen Regent of the Seven Kingdoms and mother to King Tommen. Afflicted by a rare water allergy.
* +1 special point every time she pours wine or requests a glass be poured
* +1 point when someone (excl. Jaime) references incest with Jaime or her childrens' bastardy directly to her
* 2x multiplier for sex acts involving incest (first cousin or closer)
50
Ser Davos is a knight serving Stannis Baratheon, and one of his most trusted advisors. He is often at odds with the Red Priestess Melisandre.
* +1 point every time his fingers or onions are referenced
* +1 point when invoking Shireen's name
192
The leader of the Sparrows, a religious movement within the Faith of the Seven. After being appointed as High Septon by Cersei Lannister, he has lead a sweeping inquiry to root out moral corruption in King's Landing, imprisoning Loras Tyrell, Margaery Tyrell, and Cersei Lannister.
1 politics point every time he (or Sparrows under his order) publicly out a named character for their sins
26
A cousin to the Lannister children. In a past life he was a stuttering servant to King Robert Baratheon and secret consort to his cousin Queen Cersei Lannister. Lancel now serves as a leading member of the Sparrows, a dangerously militant religious group whose power over King's Landing is growing.
+1 politics point when he publicly outs a named character for their sins
102
A Red Priest from the city of Myr - he is a member of the Brotherhood Without Banners, led by Beric Dondarrion.
+1 point every time he revives someone.
+1 when shown igniting his flaming sword
134
A mysterious man who lives far north of the Wall with the Children of the Forest. He has been guiding Bran's dreams through the form of a three-eyed raven.
+1 for forcibly pulling someone in or out of a vision [Ruleset 4.0+]
195
A Septa and member of the Most Devout, the council that rules the Faith of the Seven. She rings the shame! shame! shame! bell.
+1 point for each bell ringing (S6 onwards)
213
Samwell's mother.
Kills
Episode 10: The Winds of Winter
The High Sparrow orders the seven-pointed star to be carved into Loras Tyrell's forehead after his confessions, as a symbol of his sins and newfound faith in the Seven.
Margaery Tyrell: "You mutilated him. You gave me your word."
(Major Injury of Named Character)
Lancel carves the seven-pointed star into Loras Tyrell's forehead after his confessions, as a symbol of Loras' sins and newfound faith in the Seven. (Major Injury of Named Character)
A candle burns down to ignite the cache of wildfire buried beneath the Sept of Baelor, creating a massive detonation that obliterates the Sept and the audience awaiting Cersei's Trial by Seven. The High Sparrow, Lancel Lannister, Kevan Lannister, Mace Tyrell, Loras Tyrell, and Margaery Tyrell perish as the wildfire explosion erupts through the floor of the Sept. (Kill of Named Character)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
A candle burns down to ignite the cache of wildfire buried beneath the Sept of Baelor, creating a massive detonation that obliterates the Sept and the audience awaiting Cersei's Trial by Seven. Along with the High Sparrow, Small Council, and the Tyrell royal family, 226 other members of the audience perish as the wildfire explosion erupts through the floor of the Sept. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
A King's Landing pedestrian is crushed by a bell jettisoned from the explosion at the Sept of Baelor. Two other pedestrians are also destroyed as the alley becomes engulfed in wildfire. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Political Wins
Episode 1: The Red Woman
Ser Davos convinces Edd to seek help from the Wildlings instead of throwing his life away in an attack against Alliser Thorne. "You're not the only ones who owe your lives to Jon Snow. (Convincing Argument)
Episode 2: Home
Davos takes up Longclaw (Jon Snow's Valyrian sword) as he and the other Night's Watchmen prepare to defend against Ser Alliser Thorne. "I've never been much of a fighter... Apologies for what you're about to see." (New Weapon)
Davos convinces Melisandre to make an attempt to revive Jon Snow after she has lost faith in the Lord of Light in their long-awaited Disney moment. "I'm not a devout man, obviously. Seven Gods, Drowned Gods, Tree Gods, it's all the same. I'm not asking the Lord of Light for help. I'm asking the woman who showed me that miracles exist." (Convincing Argument)
Episode 3: Oathbreaker
The High Sparrow convinces Tommen Baratheon to stand down his demands for his mother's entry into the Sept to see Myrcella.
High Sparrow: "A true leader avails himself of the wisest counsel he can. And no one is wiser than the Gods."
Tommen: "My grandfather once said something similar. Except for the part about the Gods."
High Sparrow: "The Gods worked through him whether he knew it or not. As they work through your mother. There's so much good in all of us. The best we can do is to help each other bring it out."
(Convincing Argument)
Episode 4: Book of the Stranger
Despite their initial protests, Cersei convinces the Hand of the King Kevan Lannister and Olenna Tyrell to go with her plan to march the Tyrell army into King's Landing to arrest the High Sparrow and rescue Queen Margaery.
Kevan Lannister: "We'll have civil war. Many will die."
Olenna Tyrell: "Many will die no matter what we do. Better them than us."
(Convincing Argument)
Episode 6: Blood of My Blood
The High Sparrow convinces King Tommen to allow Margaery to proceed with her Walk of Atonement.
Tommen: "Is there no other way? ... It just seems very dangerous."
High Sparrow: "She'll be protected the entire way. The Faith Militant are very stern with those who overstep their bounds."
(Convincing Argument)
The High Sparrow announces Margaery's crimes to the masses gathered at the Sept of Baelor.  "Rich or poor, noble or common, if we sin, we must atone. Margaery of House Tyrell came to us a sinner. She stood before the gods in the holy sept and lied. She turned a blind eye to her brother's sins. She disgraced her house, her King, and herself." (Politics Special)
The High Sparrow picks up an ownership stake in King's Landing after announcing a joint venture with Tommen Baratheon to make the Seven Kingdoms great again.
High Sparrow: "Together we announce a new age of harmony. A holy alliance between the Crown and the Faith."
Tommen: "The Crown and the Faith are the twin pillars upon which the world rests. Together we will restore the Seven Kingdoms to glory."
(Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
submitted by as38 (approved!)
The High Sparrow announces the latest high-profile devotees to sign onto Team Sparrow, in a joint press conference with Tommen Baratheon and Margaery Tyrell.

"Queen Margaery has already atoned for her sins by bringing another into the true light of the Seven. Together we announce a new age of harmony. A holy alliance between the Crown and the Faith."
(New Follower/Prisoner)
Cersei convinces Jaime to accept Tommen's assignment to lead the Lannister army to assist Walder Frey in taking back Riverrun.

"Stand at the head of our army where you belong, where Father wanted you. Show our men where their loyalties belong. Show them what Lannisters are, what we do to our enemies. And take that stupid little castle back because it's ours and because you can."
(Convincing Argument)
Episode 7: The Broken Man
After Jon Snow and Sansa Stark prove unconvincing, Davos convinces the young Lyanna Mormont to rally against the Bolton army. "Because Jeor Mormont and Jon Snow both understood that the real war isn't between a few squabbling houses. It's between the living and the dead. And make no mistake, my lady, the dead are coming ... As long as the Boltons hold Winterfell, the North is divided. And a divided North won't stand a chance against the Night King." (Convincing Argument)
Episode 9: Battle of the Bastards
Davos discovers Shireen's true fate as finds the charred remains of the wooden stag toy he gifted to Shireen next to a pyre. (Secret Discovery)
Episode 10: The Winds of Winter
Loras renounces his claims to House Tyrell and swears himself to the High Sparrow and the Faith of the Seven.
Loras Tyrell: "I will abandon the Tyrell name and all that goes with it. I will renounce my lordship and my claims on Highgarden. I will never marry and I will never father children."
High Sparrow: "Brother Loras, I ask you to dedicate your life to the Seven Gods. Will you fight to defend your faith against heretics and apostates?"
Loras Tyrell: "I will."
(New Follower/Prisoner)
The High Sparrow reneges on his agreement to release Loras Tyrell after his confessions (presumably unharmed).
Margaery Tyrell: "You mutilated him. You gave me your word."
High Sparrow: "And I have kept my word. Once the Queen Mother's trial is concluded, Brother Loras is free to leave."
(Act of Betrayal)
Lancel follows one of Qyburn's little birds to the King's Landing underground. There he is stabbed, but crawls to discover the hidden cache of wildfire buried beneath the Sept of Baelor. (Secret Discovery)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Cersei destroys the Sept of Baelor in an explosion of wildfire, killing most of the Tyrell royal family and the King's Small Council. (Act of Betrayal)
Cersei takes Septa Unella prisoner, tying her down to a table as she tortures her. "Confess. It felt good. Beating me, starving me, frightening me, humiliating me. You didn't do it because you cared about my atonement. You did it because it felt good. ... I killed your High Sparrow, and all his little sparrows ... because it felt good to watch them burn. It felt good to imagine their shock and their pain. No thought has ever given me greater joy." (New Follower/Prisoner)
Qyburn: "I now proclaim Cersei of the House Lannister, First of Her Name, Queen of the Andals and the First Men, Protector of the Seven Kingdoms. Long may she reign." (New Title)
Insults Delivered / Funny Lines
Episode 1: The Red Woman
Margery: "I am the Queen and I demand to see my brother."
Unella: "Sinners do not make demands. They make confessions"
(Comeback)
submitted by smarlow13 (approved!)
Alliser Thorne: "And you, Ser Davos, I will allow you to travel south. A free man, with a fresh horse."
Davos: "And some mutton. I'd like some mutton."
Alliser: "Wot?"
(Funny Line)
Episode 2: Home
Davos as he takes Jon's sword and rallies the men against Ser Alliser Thorne: "I've never been much of a fighter... Apologies for what you're about to see." (Funny Line)
Episode 7: The Broken Man
to Margaery: "The Queen of Thorns is a remarkable woman, a strong woman. And an unrepentant sinner. You must teach her the new one, as she taught you the old, or I fear for her safety, body and soul." (Threat)
on the 62 Mormont soldiers: "If they're half as ferocious as their Lady, the Boltons are doomed." (Funny Line)
submitted by Laxis (approved!)
Episode 8: No One
Lancel Lannister: "Order your man (Gregor Clegane) to step aside, or there will be violence."
Cersei: "... I choose violence."
(Threat)
Sandor Clegane: "They killed a friend of mine."
Thoros: "You've got friends?"
(Witty Insult)
Episode 9: Battle of the Bastards
to Tormund: "No, it's a manner of speaking... not actual demons." (Funny Line)
submitted by righteous (approved!)
Tormund: "I need a good drink to help me sleep the night before a fight. You want some? I have a jug of sour goat's milk..."
Davos: "No thanks, it does sound delicious, but..."
(Funny Line)
submitted by righteous (approved!)
Davos: "I can never sleep the night before a battle."
Tormund: "So what do you do all night?"
Davos: "I walk. Think and walk. Think and walk until I'm far enough away from camp that no one can hear me shitting my guts out."
(Funny Line)
Davos rallies the archers to charge in towards the main battle: "We may as well be taking shits back here. Follow!" (Funny Line)
submitted by righteous (approved!)
Episode 10: The Winds of Winter
to Septa Unella: "This is Ser Gregor Clegane. He's quiet, too. Your Gods have forsaken you. This is your god now."
(Threat)
as she locks Septa Unella in with Gregor Clegane: "Shame. Shame. Shame." (Witty Insult)
Glasses of Wine Consumed
Episode 2: Home
Cersei takes a sip while speaking with her son Tommen. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
submitted by rwrigley86 (approved!)
Episode 8: No One
Cersei drinks in her chambers as Qyburn arrives to deliver a request from the Faith Militant. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Thoros drinks from his wineskin as he walks towards the campfire. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Episode 10: The Winds of Winter
Cersei drinks as she watches the wildfire explosion engulf the Sept of Baelor from the safety of her chambers in the Red Keep. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Following up on the cup, Septa Unella has an entire pitcher of wine poured over her face as she is being tortured by Cersei Lannister. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Acts of Intercourse
Episode 6: Blood of My Blood
Cersei and Jaime get it on after hot and heavy dirty talk about the power of House Lannister and destroying their enemies. "They've made us both stronger, all of them. They have no idea how strong we are. No idea what we're going to do to them. We've always been together. We'll always be together." (Act of Intercourse)
Deaths
Episode 5: The Door
The Three-Eyed Raven is cut down by the White Walker King after the White Walkers and their wights invade his cavern. "The time has come. Leave me." (Death)
Episode 6: Blood of My Blood
+1 for Three-eyed raven
Episode 7: The Broken Man
+1 for Three-eyed raven
Episode 8: No One
+1 for Three-eyed raven
Episode 9: Battle of the Bastards
+1 for Three-eyed raven
Episode 10: The Winds of Winter
Lancel Lannister is lured into the King's Landing underground where he is stabbed by one of Qyburn's little birds. Finding a cache of wildfire, he is too late to stop the candles from burning down and igniting it, engulfing him in the explosion. (Death)
+1 for Three-eyed raven
Special
Episode 1: The Red Woman
Jaime refers to Myrcella's parentage as Cersei grives: "Listen- listen to me. She was my daughter and I failed her." (Special)
Episode 3: Oathbreaker
Olenna to Cersei: "Margaery is the Queen. You are not the Queen, because you're not married to the king. I do appreciate these things can get a bit confusing in your family."
(Special)
Episode 6: Blood of My Blood
Jaime: "He has our son! He stole our son! He's torn our family apart." (Special)
Episode 10: The Winds of Winter
Cersei pours herself a glass of wine while observing the events at the Sept of Baelor from afar. (Special)
Cersei pours out her glass of wine over Septa Unella's face as she is bound to a table. "Confess." (Special)