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The Grateful Undead | Fantasora

The Grateful Undead

You Still Know Nothing

Owner: kris.lidinsky

30.5 roto pts (#5)
Z-Score: -0.245 (percentile: 40.31%)
Weeks at #1: 0
Categories won: Insults Delivered / Funny Lines (129), Glasses of Wine Consumed (35), Deaths (19)
Best Week: Episode 6: Beyond the Wall (+4 roto points)
Team MVP: Tyrion Lannister (picked #6, 109 points, 38.65% of team total)

Roster Stats

Character Drafted Total Kills Politics Insults Wine Sex Thrones Deaths Special Feels
Quick to wit and even quicker to the drink, Tyrion is the youngest of three Lannister children. After being exiled by his sister Cersei, he has joined with Daenerys Targaryen, serving as her Hand of the Queen and most trusted adviser.
#6 109 0 27 54 25 0 0 0 3 0
Formerly Hand of the King to Stannis Baratheon, Davos now advises Jon Snow. He is often at odds with the Red Priestess Melisandre.
#18 63 0 9 51 0 0 0 0 3 0
The First Ranger of the Night's Watch, Benjen has been lost for some time North of the Wall after being attacked by White Walkers while north of the Wall. After being saved by the Children of the Forest, he exists in an undead state, unable to pass back south of the Wall.
#42 29 24 0 0 0 0 0 5 0 0
The second eldest of the Stark children. After being held as a prisoner of House Bolton, Sansa managed to escape and, with the help of Jon Snow and the Knights of the Vale, defeated Ramsay Bolton to reclaim Winterfell for the Starks. She is a huge fan of lemon cakes.
#7 27 0 15 12 0 0 0 0 0 0
A bastard son of Robert Baratheon, although this fact is not widely known (even to Gendry himself). After being captured by Melisandre, he is freed by Ser Davos and escaped Dragonstone by rowboat. His whereabouts are currently unknown, but he will likely emerge at some point with the swolest arms Westeros has ever seen.
#31 23 6 3 6 5 0 0 0 3 0
The eldest of Prince Oberyn Martell's bastard children, known as the Sand Snakes. She wields a spear.
#19 18 0 0 3 5 0 0 7 3 0
One of Oberyn Martell's bastards, known as Sand Snakes. She's into whips.
#43 13 3 0 3 0 0 0 7 0 0
Catelyn Stark's brother, and the heir to House Tully and Riverrun. He is held as a prisoner of Lord Walder Frey after the betrayal at the Red Wedding.
#44 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Leader of the Second Sons, a sellsword company who now serves Daenerys Targaryen. He is also one of Daneerys' trusted advisors and her lover, but has been left behind in Meereen to govern the city.
#30 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
An orphan from King's Landing. He works at the Inn at the Crossroads as a baker.
- 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Totals 282 33 54 129 35 0 0 19 12 0

Roster

charId Character Special
17
Quick to wit and even quicker to the drink, Tyrion is the youngest of three Lannister children. After being exiled by his sister Cersei, he has joined with Daenerys Targaryen, serving as her Hand of the Queen and most trusted adviser.
* +1 point each time he is denied a drink
* +1 point whenever he physically gives someone a coin (or other legal tender)
5
The second eldest of the Stark children. After being held as a prisoner of House Bolton, Sansa managed to escape and, with the help of Jon Snow and the Knights of the Vale, defeated Ramsay Bolton to reclaim Winterfell for the Starks. She is a huge fan of lemon cakes.
* Lady's actions contribute to her points.
* +1 point in every scene she cries
50
Formerly Hand of the King to Stannis Baratheon, Davos now advises Jon Snow. He is often at odds with the Red Priestess Melisandre.
* +1 point every time his fingers or onions are referenced
* +1 point when invoking Shireen's name
36
Leader of the Second Sons, a sellsword company who now serves Daenerys Targaryen. He is also one of Daneerys' trusted advisors and her lover, but has been left behind in Meereen to govern the city.
+1 point each time he flirts with Daenerys.
80
A bastard son of Robert Baratheon, although this fact is not widely known (even to Gendry himself). After being captured by Melisandre, he is freed by Ser Davos and escaped Dragonstone by rowboat. His whereabouts are currently unknown, but he will likely emerge at some point with the swolest arms Westeros has ever seen.
+1 point for each act of blacksmithing.
3
The First Ranger of the Night's Watch, Benjen has been lost for some time North of the Wall after being attacked by White Walkers while north of the Wall. After being saved by the Children of the Forest, he exists in an undead state, unable to pass back south of the Wall.
104
An orphan from King's Landing. He works at the Inn at the Crossroads as a baker.
+1 point for every baked good or other food he prepares
92
Catelyn Stark's brother, and the heir to House Tully and Riverrun. He is held as a prisoner of Lord Walder Frey after the betrayal at the Red Wedding.
Kills
Episode 5: Eastwatch
39:28 (+4) Gendry:
After Davos's charade begins to break down, Gendry brings out his warhammer to smash in the faces of the two investigating Gold Cloaks. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Episode 6: Beyond the Wall
32:55 (+2) Gendry:
Gendry smashes in the head of a wight with his warhammer during the ambush on the White Walker scouting party. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Benjen knocks out 5 wights with his flaming flail and his horse runs over 2 more while he rides in to the ice lake battlefield to rescue Jon Snow. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
After emerging from the cloud of smoke, 3 wights are knocked down at the end of Benjen's run as he approaches Jon Snow across the icy shore. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
A horseless Benjen manages to knock out two more wights with his flaming flail before succumbing to the wight horde. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Political Wins
Episode 2: Stormborn
Davos suggests that Daenerys's dragons will be a powerful asset against the fight against the wights, and suggests allying with her, despite Sansa's protests. Ultimately, Jon decides to personally travel to Dragonstone to meet with Daenerys, citing Davos' arguments in his appeal to the Northern Lords.

"What breathes fire?" ...  "But if the army of the dead makes it past the wall, do we have enough men to fight them?"

(Convincing Argument)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
0:00 (+3) Hot Pie:
Hot Pie learns that Arya Stark is back in Westeros after recognizing her at the inn. (Secret Discovery)
submitted by EvanWolfe (approved!)
Tyrion convinces Daenerys to follow Melisandre's proposal to ally with Jon Snow. "I can't speak to prophecies or visions in the flame... but I like Jon Snow, and I trusted him. And I am an excellent judge of character." (Convincing Argument)
Tyrion's earlier advice wins over Daenerys, as she opts for a slower, more politically-calculated siege rather than the violent direct-assault on King's Landing advocated by her Westerosi allies. "I am not here to be Queen of the Ashes." (Convincing Argument)
Sansa is given command of Winterfell as Jon travels to meet with Daenerys Targaryen. "You are my sister. You're the only Stark in Winterfell. Until I return, the North is yours." (New Title)
Episode 3: The Queen's Justice
After Jon Snow resigns himself to giving up on an alliance with Daenerys and returning to the North empty-handed, Tyrion convinces him to stay and find a compromise deal, leading him to ask for the dragonglass.

Tyrion: "After a single meeting, it's not a reasonable thing to ask. So, do you have anything reasonable to ask?"
Jon: "What do you mean?"
Tyrion: "Maybe you are a Northern fool. I'm asking if there's something I can do to help you."
(Convincing Argument)
Tyrion convinces Daenerys to give Jon Snow the dragonglass as a gesture of good faith with the North. "Let him mine the Dragonglass. If he's wrong, it's worthless. You didn't even know it was here. It's nothing to you. Give him something by giving him nothing. Take a step toward a more productive relationship with a possible ally." (Convincing Argument)
Episode 5: Eastwatch
After the latest rejected plea by Jon Snow to get Daenerys to assist in the war with the White Walkers, Tyrion convinces the team on a different course to try to unite all three monarchs together:

Jon Snow: "We'll fight with the men we have. Unless you'll join us."
Daenerys: "And give the country to Cersei? As soon as I march away, she marches in."
Tyrion: "Perhaps not. Cersei thinks the Army of the Dead is nothing but a story made up by wet nurses to frighten children. What if we prove her wrong?
Jon: "I don't think she'll come see the dead at my invitation."
Tyrion: "So bring the dead to her."
(Convincing Argument)
Davos tracks down Gendry in King's Landing. "I wasn't sure I'd find you. Thought you might still be rowing. I looked in shops, taverns, brothels. Should have known to come straight to the Street of Steel." (Secret Discovery)
Davos has an easier time than expected convincing Gendry to leave King's Landing.

Gendry: "You came to get me. You want me to come with you."
Davos Seaworth: "Well, the thing you need to understand is-"
Gendry: "I'm ready. Let's go."
(New Follower/Prisoner)
36:24 (+3) Gendry:
Gendry unveils the massive warhammer he's fashioned for himself. "I don't know much about swinging swords. But this... this I know." (New Weapon)
After Tyrion and Jaime's secret meeting, Cersei agrees to the truce with Daenerys while they await for Jon to return with proof of the White Walker situation.

Cersei: "I've come to believe that an accommodation with the Dragon Queen could be in our immediate interest. She has the numbers. If we want to beat her, we have to be clever. We have to fight her like Father would have."
(Deals Brokered)
Episode 6: Beyond the Wall
Sansa commands Brienne of Tarth to journey south to King's Landing for the meeting convened to present the White Walker threat, leaving Sansa alone in Winterfell despite her protests.

Brienne: I sworn an oath to protect you and your sister. If I abandon you-"
Sansa: "The trip to King's Landing is long, Lady Brienne, and you won't be travelling on summer roads. The sooner you leave, the better your chances of making it on time."
(Executive Decision)
Sansa goes snooping into Arya's room in an attempt to recover the copy of the raven letter. (Act of Betrayal)
While snooping through her room, Sansa discover's Arya's stash of faces. (Secret Discovery)
Episode 7: The Dragon and the Wolf
During their meeting in King's Landing, Tyrion deduces that Cersei is pregnant. (Secret Discovery)
Tyrion's meeting with Cersei is succesful, convincing her to not only agree to the truce but to pledge her armies to march north to face the undead threat.

Cersei: "My armies will not stand down. I will not pull them back to the capital. I will march them north to fight alongside you in the Great War. The darkness is coming for us all. We'll face it together. And when the Great War is over, perhaps you'll remember I chose to help with no promises or assurances from any of you."
(Convincing Argument)
After a private meeting with Tyrion, Cersei agrees to a truce with the Targaryen and Northern forces so that they may collectively combat the White Walker threat, completing the deal brokered by Tyrion, Jaime, and Bronn's secret meeting. (Deals Brokered)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
"You stand accused of murder. You stand accused of treason. How do you answer these charges... Lord Baelish?" (Act of Betrayal)
Insults Delivered / Funny Lines
Episode 1: Dragonstone
Petyr Baelish: "Why aren't you happy? What do you want that you do not have?"
Sansa Stark: "At the moment, peace and quiet."
(Witty Insult)
"No need to seize the last word, Lord Baelish. I'll assume it was something clever." (Witty Insult)
submitted by xdwxrd (approved!)
Episode 2: Stormborn
Tyrion while convincing Daenerys to follow Melisandre's proposal to ally with Jon Snow. "I can't speak to prophecies or visions in the flame... but I like Jon Snow, and I trusted him. And I am an excellent judge of character." (Funny Line)
Episode 3: The Queen's Justice
Missandei: "You stand in the presence of Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen, rightful heir to the Iron Throne, rightful Queen of the Andals and the First Men, Protector of the Seven Kingdoms, the Mother of Dragons, the Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, the Unburnt, the Breaker of Chains."
Davos: "This is Jon Snow."
(Funny Line)
to Jon Snow: "I came down here to brood over my failure to predict the Greyjoy attack. You're making it difficult. You look a lot better brooding than I do. You make me feel like I'm failing at brooding over failing." (Funny Line)
"People's minds aren't made for problems that large. White Walkers, the Night King, Army of the Dead. It's almost a relief to confront a comfortable, familiar monster like my sister." (Witty Insult)
Tyrion: "Apparently, it can be turned into weapons that kill white walkers and their foot soldiers. Or stop them. Destroy them. Unsure about the nomenclature." (Funny Line)
Tyrion: "I'd very much like to believe that Jon Snow is wrong. But a wise man once said that you should never believe a thing simply because you want to believe it."
Daenerys: "Which wise man said this?"
Tyrion: "I don't remember."
Daenerys: "Are you trying to present your own statements as ancient wisdom?"
Tyrion: "I would never do that."
To you.
The reason I believe Jon Snow is because he's here.
(Funny Line)
Petyr Baelish: "I know Cersei better than anyone here. If you turn your back on her-"
Sansa: "You don't know Cersei better than anyone here."
Petyr: "I only meant to say-"
Sansa: "That the woman who murdered my mother, father, and brother is dangerous? Thank you for your wise counsel."
(Witty Insult)
Episode 4: The Spoils of War
Davos: "What do you think of her?"
Jon: "Who?"
Davos: "I believe you know of whom I speak." ?
Jon: "I think she has a good heart."
Davos: "A good heart? I've noticed you staring at her good heart."
(Funny Line)
Davos corrects Jon's grammar with a classic callback from his former King, Stannis Baratheon:

Jon Snow: "How many men do we have in the North to fight him? 10,000? Less?"
Davos: "Fewer."
Jon: "What?"
(Funny Line)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
Missandei: "Ser Davos, Lord Snow."
Davos: "King Snow, isn't it? No, that doesn't sound right. King Jon?"
(Funny Line)
Missandei: "We don't have marriage in Narth, so the concept of a bastard doesn't exist."
Davos: "That sounds... liberating."
(Funny Line)
Missandei: "All of us who came with her from Essos, we believe in her. She's not our Queen because she's the daughter of some king we never knew. She's the Queen we chose."
Davos, to Jon Snow: "Will you forgive me if I switch sides?"
(Funny Line)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
Episode 5: Eastwatch
Tyrion: "Who's that (raven letter) for?"
Varys: "Jon Snow."
Tyrion: "Did you read it?"
Varys: "It's a sealed scroll for the King in the North."
...
Tyrion: "What's it say?"
(Funny Line)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
after smuggling Tyrion through Blackwater Bay: "There's a path to the left that hugs the cliff. The guards hardly ever patrol it. Too many steps." (Funny Line)
Tyrion: "What if someone takes the boat?"
Davos: "Then we're fooked. Best hurry."
(Funny Line)
Jaime: "I once told Bronn that if I ever saw you again, I'd cut you in half."
Tyrion: "...it'll take you a while with a sparring sword."
(Funny Line)
Gendry: "Aren't you worried about the Gold Cloaks?"
Davos: "Haven't been here in years. Why should they recognize me? Sometimes I hardly do.
Nothing fucks you harder than time."
(Funny Line)
Gold Cloaks, after already accepting Davos' bribe: "What's in the boat?
Davos: "Not more gold."
(Comeback)
Davos explains the goods he's smuggling in his boat.

"Fermented crab. One bucket of this triples a brothel's earnings for the week. A man thinks he's done. He's ready to go back to his loving family. But before he gets his breeches up, his lady of the hour pops a tiny spoon of that into his mouth. Five minutes later, he's back in the race."
(Funny Line)
to the Gold Cloaks after giving them a free sample of the fermented crab: "I'd hurry to your favorite establishment, or you'll put a hole in that chainmail." (Funny Line)
"I really wouldn't try any more until you see how the first bite hits you." (as the Gold Cloaks return to the boat of fermented crab to get a better look at Tyrion) (Funny Line)
First Gold Cloak: "That dwarf..."
Second Gold Cloak: "Where'd you get that scar?"
Tyrion: "Fish hook. Some men you just can't teach."
(Funny Line)
Davos introduces Tyrion to Gendry, who has just smashed in the heads of two investigating Gold Cloaks.

Davos: "This is Gendry."
Tyrion: "He'll do."
(Funny Line)
43:06 (+3) Gendry:
Gendry bulldozes into his introduction with Jon Snow, after Davos warns him to do the exact opposite.

Davos: "The king's got a lot on his mind."
Gendry: "I understand."
Davos: "He doesn't need to be thinking about harboring the bastard of a dead king."
Gendry: "You don't have to worry."
Davos: "You're just Clovis, a smith who's come to pay his respects before he heads off to work at the Winterfell forges."
Gendry: "Understood."
...
Davos: "Your Grace, this is Clo-"
Gendry: "Name's Gendry, Your Grace. I'm Robert Baratheon's son. Bastard son."
(Funny Line)
43:22 (+3) Gendry:
Jon Snow: "I saw your father once at Winterfell."
Gendry: "I met yours in my shop."
Jon: "You're a lot leaner."
Gendry: "And you're a lot shorter."
(Funny Line)
Gendry: "I owe you my life. Twice over. But if what you said is true about what's up there, I can't wait out this war."
Davos: "Yep, nobody mind me. All I've ever done is live to a ripe old age."
(Funny Line)
to Jorah Mormont: "You may not believe it, but I've missed you, Mormont. Nobody glowers quite like you. Not even Grey Worm." (Witty Insult)
Tormund: "Isn't it your job to talk him out of stupid fucking ideas like this?"
Davos: "I've been failing at that job of late.
(Funny Line)
Episode 6: Beyond the Wall
Daenerys: "Jon Snow is not in love with me."
Tyrion: "Oh, my mistake. I suppose he stares at you longingly because he's hopeful for a successful military alliance."
(Funny Line)
on the Northern lords: "Yes, they turned their backs on Jon when it was time to retake Winterfell, and then they named him their King, and now they're ready to turn their backs on him again. How far would you trust men like that? They're all bloody wind vanes." (Witty Insult)
Episode 7: The Dragon and the Wolf
Sandor Clegane: "Am I going to die in this shit city?"
Tyrion Lanniser: "You might."
Sandor: "And this is all your idea. Seems every bad idea has some Lannister cunt behind it."
Tyrion: "And some Clegane cunt to help them see it through."
(Witty Insult)
to Jon Snow: "I'm pleased you bent the knee to our Queen. I would have advised it, had you asked. But have you ever considered learning how to lie every now and then? Just a bit?!?" (Witty Insult)
Jon: "Talk about my father if you want, tell me that's the attitude that got him killed. But when enough people make false promises, words stop meaning anything. Then there are no more answers, only better and better lies. And lies won't help us in this fight."
Tyrion: "That is indeed a problem. The more immediate problem is that we're fucked."
(Funny Line)
Jon Snow: "I did this. I should go."
Tyrion: "She'll definitely murder you."
(Funny Line)
Cersei: "I shouldn't be surprised, I suppose. She's your kind of woman: a foreign whore who doesn't know her place."
Tyrion: "A foreign whore you can't abduct, beat, or intimidate. That must be difficult for you."
(Witty Insult)
Glasses of Wine Consumed
Episode 5: Eastwatch
Tyrion drinks while discussing the burning of the Tarlys with Varys. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Tyrion drinks from the refill after Varys finishes off the cup of wine he was originally drinking. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Episode 6: Beyond the Wall
6:37 (+5) Gendry:
Gendry takes the wineskin offered by Thoros after the Hound shuts down his "whinging". (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Tyrion drinks while talking with Daenerys in Dragonstone. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Episode 7: The Dragon and the Wolf
Tyrion pours himself a glass from Cersei's own wine stash after he survives his feigned plea that Cersei should have Gregor Clegane execute him. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
After serving a refill of wine to Cersei, Tyrion pours another for himself and drinks. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Deaths
Episode 6: Beyond the Wall
Uncle "there's no time" Benjen succumbs to the horde of wights a full 52 seconds after sending Jon away with his horse. (Death)
Special
Episode 2: Stormborn
35:09 (+12) Hot Pie:
Arya meets Hot Pie at the Crossroads Inn, where he has baked up 4 on-screen pies: the Jorah special being eaten by two unnamed characters, Arya's pie, and two more left on the serving tray. (Special)
Episode 3: The Queen's Justice
Tyrion Lannister greets Ser Davos on his arrival to Dragonstone: "Ah, the Onion Knight" (Special)
Episode 5: Eastwatch
34:24 (+3) Gendry:
Gendry heats a new sword in the coals in the blacksmith shop. (Special)
The Feels
Episode 5: Eastwatch
Tyrion and Jorah share a brief reunion before Jorah sails off to the Wall on Jon's expedition to kidnap a wight..

Tyrion: "This is the coin the slaver gave me when I suggested he free us and pay us, remember?"
Jorah: "It was supposed to last us the rest of our lives."
Tyrion: "Take it with you. But bring it back. Our Queen needs you."
(Warm Fuzzy Moment)
Episode 7: The Dragon and the Wolf
After an intense conversation spilling out all of Tyrion's wrongs to their family, Cersei decides not to execute her brother after all this time. Relieved, Tyrion downs a glass of wine, and pours another for Cersei, reuniting them with the only familial bond more powerful than her incestual love for Jaime - alcoholism. (Warm Fuzzy Moment)