Uhhhnsullied
A League of Ice and Fire
Owner: s.khan3398
54.5 roto pts (#4)
Z-Score:
0.446 (percentile: 67.22%)
Weeks at #1: 0
Categories won:
Best Week:
Episode 4: The Spoils of War
(+14 roto points)
Team MVP:
Jaime Lannister
(picked #8,
96 points,
52.75% of team total)
Roster Stats
Roster
charId | Character | Special |
---|---|---|
19 |
Jaime Lannister
The second of the Lannister children, he is Cersei's lover and twin brother, and also the father of her three (now deceased) bastard children, the supposed sons and daughters of the late King Robert Baratheon. He also serves as Lord Commander of the Kingsguard.
|
* +1 point for awkward waves with his metal hand * +1 point when he uses his metal hand in a combat situation * +1 point when someone (excl. Cersei) references incest with Cersei or her childrens' bastardy directly to him * 2x multiplier for sex acts involving incest (first cousin or closer) |
79 |
Petyr Baelish (Littlefinger)
Lord Protector of the Vale, Littlefinger effectively controls the Knights of the Vale through the easily manipulated Robbin Arryn. He is a master manipulator who will stop at nothing for power.
|
+1 point in the intercourse category for sex events that occur in his brothels 2x multiplier for betrayal events +1 for every kiss he gives to Sansa |
23 |
Bronn
A former sellsword, who has risen through the ranks of nobility thanks to his fighting skills and work for the Lannisters. He has accompanied Jaime Lannister on his missions to Dorne and Riverrun.
|
+1 point when he gives expert critique/advice on fighting strategy |
27 |
Podrick Payne
A squire in the service of Brienne of Tarth. He previously served as Tyrion Lannister's squire.
|
+1 point for failed attempts at basic tasks. +1 point for surprising people with how good he is at a task |
195 |
Septa Unella
A Septa who took exceptional pleasure in torturing Cersei Lannister while she was a prisoner of the Sparrows, ringing the shame! shame! shame! bell as she made her walk of atonement. She is now held as a prisoner of Cersei.
|
+1 point for each bell ringing (S6 onwards) |
Kills
43:03
(+8)
Jaime Lannister:
Jaime fends off four Dothraki screamers as they break through the Lannister lines and descend upon his position.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
Bronn unsheathes a sword out of the torso of an impaled, flailing Lannister soldier, inflicting the fatal damage on the way out.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
Bronn runs through the chaos of the battlefield to make his way over to the Scorpion, cutting down two Dothraki screamers with the sword he takes from the torso of an impaled Lannister soldier.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
Bronn blows away the Dothraki screamer with a bolt from the Scorpion.
(Kill of Named Character)
Political Wins
0:00
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
After seizing Highgarden, the defeated Olenna Tyrell sits in her prisoner as a prisoner of Jaime Lannister.
(New Follower/Prisoner)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
55:56
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Jaime's offer to Randyll Tarly to rebel against the Tyrells appears to have been accepted, as the Tarly's ride with the Lannister army on the assault on Highgarden.
(Convincing Argument)
55:56
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Randyll Tarly allies with the Lannisters, taking Jaime Lannister's offer to become Warden of the South and marching with the Lannister army against the Tyrells.
(New Follower/Prisoner)
56:32
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Jaime walks through the courtyards of Highgarden, where the Lannister army has been victorious in seizing the castle.
(Victorious Battle)
56:32
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Jaime walks through the courtyards of Highgarden, where the Lannister army has been victorious in seizing the castle.
(Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
58:31
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Jaime is in possession of the Valyrian steel sword, Widow's Wail. "How will you do it? With that sword? That was Joffrey's sword, wasn't it? Not that he ever used it. What did he call it?" Jaime: "Widow's Wail."
(New Weapon)
61:26
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
In her dying moments, Olenna Tyrell reveals to Jaime that she was Joffrey's killer.
"I'd hate to die like your son. Clawing at my neck, foam and bile spilling from my mouth, eyes bloodred, skin purple. Must have been horrible for you, as a Kingsguard, as a father. It was horrible enough for me ... You see, I had never seen the poison work before. Tell Cersei. I want her to know it was me." (Secret Discovery)
"I'd hate to die like your son. Clawing at my neck, foam and bile spilling from my mouth, eyes bloodred, skin purple. Must have been horrible for you, as a Kingsguard, as a father. It was horrible enough for me ... You see, I had never seen the poison work before. Tell Cersei. I want her to know it was me." (Secret Discovery)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
4:50
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Jaime acquires all of the Tyrell gold after taking Highgarden, although it is bound for the Iron Bank.
(Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Bronn arrives to the wagon and unveils the Scorpion, a high-powered dragon-killing ballista.
(New Weapon)
32:25
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Jaime is taken by Bronn to the dungeons beneath the Red Keep, where he finds his fugitive brother Tyrion who has arranged a meeting with him there.
(Secret Discovery)
submitted by hindsight44 (approved!)
Bronn finds Tyrion in the dungeons below the Red Keep, later arranging a secret meeting between him and Jaime.
(Secret Discovery)
submitted by hindsight44 (approved!)
41:13
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
After Jaime and Tyrion's secret meeting, Cersei agrees to the truce with Daenerys while they await for Jon to return with proof of the White Walker situation.
Cersei: "I've come to believe that an accommodation with the Dragon Queen could be in our immediate interest. She has the numbers. If we want to beat her, we have to be clever. We have to fight her like Father would have." (Deals Brokered)
Cersei: "I've come to believe that an accommodation with the Dragon Queen could be in our immediate interest. She has the numbers. If we want to beat her, we have to be clever. We have to fight her like Father would have." (Deals Brokered)
Littlefinger acquires the only copy of a raven letter written by Sansa while she was in King's Landing, when she was compelled by Cersei to ask Robb Stark to come south and bend the knee.
Maester Wolkan: "I found it, my Lord. It took some searching. Maester Luwin's archives are very thorough."
Petyr: "You're sure this is the only copy in Winterfell?
Wolkan: "Yes, my Lord."
Petyr: "Lady Stark thanks you for your service." (Secret Discovery)
Maester Wolkan: "I found it, my Lord. It took some searching. Maester Luwin's archives are very thorough."
Petyr: "You're sure this is the only copy in Winterfell?
Wolkan: "Yes, my Lord."
Petyr: "Lady Stark thanks you for your service." (Secret Discovery)
Littlefinger has been using Maester Wolkan to dig through the Winterfell archives, portraying it as a command by Sansa Stark.
Maester Wolkan: "I found it, my Lord. It took some searching. Maester Luwin's archives are very thorough."
Petyr: "You're sure this is the only copy in Winterfell?
Wolkan: "Yes, my Lord."
Petyr: "Lady Stark thanks you for your service." (Act of Betrayal)
Maester Wolkan: "I found it, my Lord. It took some searching. Maester Luwin's archives are very thorough."
Petyr: "You're sure this is the only copy in Winterfell?
Wolkan: "Yes, my Lord."
Petyr: "Lady Stark thanks you for your service." (Act of Betrayal)
Littlefinger snoops from the shadows, having observed Arya Stark tracking him and breaking into his room.
(Secret Discovery)
40:01
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
After a private meeting with Tyrion, Cersei agrees to a truce with the Targaryen and Northern forces so that they may collectively combat the White Walker threat, completing the deal brokered by Tyrion, Jaime, and Bronn's secret meeting.
(Deals Brokered)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
After a private meeting with Tyrion, Cersei agrees to a truce with the Targaryen and Northern forces so that they may collectively combat the White Walker threat, completing the deal brokered by Tyrion, Jaime, and Bronn's secret meeting.
(Deals Brokered)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Insults Delivered / Funny Lines
11:31
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Jaime: "How are they better allies? How are they different from the Freys? They both broke their promises and murdered their former friends as soon as it suited them."
Cersei: "So does everyone, when it suits them. Unlike the Freys, they have ships, and they're good at killing."
Jaime: "They're not good at anything." (Witty Insult)
Cersei: "So does everyone, when it suits them. Unlike the Freys, they have ships, and they're good at killing."
Jaime: "They're not good at anything." (Witty Insult)
submitted by alicehanners (approved!)
19:41
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Cersei: "I'm the Queen of the 7 Kingdoms"
Jaime: "Three Kingdoms, at best." (Witty Insult)
Jaime: "Three Kingdoms, at best." (Witty Insult)
submitted by kevinpetsky (approved!)
13:42
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Randyll Tarly: "Ser Jaime, I believe you know my son."
Jaime: "Rickon, isn't it?"
Dickon: "Dickon."
Jaime: "That's it." (walks past Dickon to speak with Randyll) (Funny Line)
Jaime: "Rickon, isn't it?"
Dickon: "Dickon."
Jaime: "That's it." (walks past Dickon to speak with Randyll) (Funny Line)
Jaime to Bronn: Besides think of the upkeep, the more you own the more it weighs you down.
Bronn To Jaime: Is that why you're so glum eh? All your new riches weighing you down? (Witty Insult)
Bronn To Jaime: Is that why you're so glum eh? All your new riches weighing you down? (Witty Insult)
submitted by hindsight44 (approved!)
to Jaime: "You've just won the biggest prize in the world, what do you possibly have to be upset about? C'mon you can tell me - the Queen of Thorns give you one last prick in the balls before saying goodbye?"
(Witty Insult)
4:05
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Bronn: "You've just won the biggest prize in the world, what do you possibly have to be upset about? C'mon you can tell me - the Queen of Thorns give you one last prick in the balls before saying goodbye?"
Jaime: "I'll save my confessions for the High Septon."
Bronn: "There is no more High Septon."
Jaime: "No, there isn't, is there?" (Comeback)
Jaime: "I'll save my confessions for the High Septon."
Bronn: "There is no more High Septon."
Jaime: "No, there isn't, is there?" (Comeback)
4:57
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
to Bronn: "Ser Bronn of the Blackwater, formerly of... whatever nameless shit-heap you're from... with a saddleback full of gold, complaining about not getting paid."
(Witty Insult)
to Dickon Tarly: "Men shit themselves when they die, didn't they teach you that at fancy lad school?"
(Witty Insult)
to Jaime: "Listen to me, cunt. Until I get what I'm owed, a dragon doesn't get to kill you. You don't get to kill you. Only I get to kill you."
(Funny Line)
Jaime: "That was only one of them. She has two more. If she decides to use them, to really use them-"
Bronn: "You're fucked."
Jaime: "Don't you mean we're fucked?"
Bronn: "No, I do not." (Funny Line)
Bronn: "You're fucked."
Jaime: "Don't you mean we're fucked?"
Bronn: "No, I do not." (Funny Line)
Bronn: "Dragons are where our partnership ends. I'm not gonna be around when those things start spitting fire on King's Landing."
Jaime: "I have to tell Cersei."
Bronn: "May as well jump back in that river." (Funny Line)
Jaime: "I have to tell Cersei."
Bronn: "May as well jump back in that river." (Funny Line)
Jaime: "We don't have time for this, we should be preparing the city for a siege. The Dothraki are coming."
Bronn: "All the more reason for you to train. Unless you plan on fighting Dothraki twelve-year-olds." (Witty Insult)
Bronn: "All the more reason for you to train. Unless you plan on fighting Dothraki twelve-year-olds." (Witty Insult)
Jaime: "Why (do swordfight training) down here?"
Bronn: "I don't think you want people to see how you look swinging that thing yet." (Witty Insult)
Bronn: "I don't think you want people to see how you look swinging that thing yet." (Witty Insult)
Bronn and Jaime discuss the Unsullied army standing outside the gates of King's Landing.
Bronn: "Men without cocks. You wouldn't find me fighting in an army if I had no cock. What's left to fight for?"
Jaime: "Gold?"
Bronn: "I spent my life around soldiers. What do you think they spend that gold on?"
Jaime: "Family."
Bronn: "Not without a cock, you don't." (Funny Line)
Bronn: "Men without cocks. You wouldn't find me fighting in an army if I had no cock. What's left to fight for?"
Jaime: "Gold?"
Bronn: "I spent my life around soldiers. What do you think they spend that gold on?"
Jaime: "Family."
Bronn: "Not without a cock, you don't." (Funny Line)
5:04
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Bronn and Jaime discuss the Unsullied army standing outside the gates of King's Landing.
Bronn: "Men without cocks. You wouldn't find me fighting in an army if I had no cock. What's left to fight for?"
Jaime: "Gold?"
Bronn: "I spent my life around soldiers. What do you think they spend that gold on?"
Jaime: "Family."
Bronn: "Not without a cock, you don't."
Jaime: "Maybe it really is all cocks in the end" (Funny Line)
Bronn: "Men without cocks. You wouldn't find me fighting in an army if I had no cock. What's left to fight for?"
Jaime: "Gold?"
Bronn: "I spent my life around soldiers. What do you think they spend that gold on?"
Jaime: "Family."
Bronn: "Not without a cock, you don't."
Jaime: "Maybe it really is all cocks in the end" (Funny Line)
submitted by kevinpetsky (approved!)
Bronn breaks up the Podrick and Tyrion reunion
Podrick: "I never thought I'd see you again, my lord."
Tyrion: "Supporting the enemy, no less."
Podrick: "Hard to blame you."
Tyrion: 'Cersei will anyway."
Podrick: "I'm glad you're alive."
Bronn: "Come on. You can suck his magic cock later." (Witty Insult)
Podrick: "I never thought I'd see you again, my lord."
Tyrion: "Supporting the enemy, no less."
Podrick: "Hard to blame you."
Tyrion: 'Cersei will anyway."
Podrick: "I'm glad you're alive."
Bronn: "Come on. You can suck his magic cock later." (Witty Insult)
Tyrion Lannister: "Are you? Helping me to arrange this meeting wasn't exactly looking after yourself, was it? You put yourself at risk."
Bronn: "I put yourself at risk. Important difference. It's your head Queen Cersei's offered a bag of gold for, it's not mine. Now, thanks to me, she's got two traitors' heads coming right through her door. She can lop them both off as soon as she gets tired of the clever words that pour out their pieholes. All thanks to Ser Bronn of the fucking Blackwater. If that's not looking after myself, I don't know what is." (Threat)
Bronn: "I put yourself at risk. Important difference. It's your head Queen Cersei's offered a bag of gold for, it's not mine. Now, thanks to me, she's got two traitors' heads coming right through her door. She can lop them both off as soon as she gets tired of the clever words that pour out their pieholes. All thanks to Ser Bronn of the fucking Blackwater. If that's not looking after myself, I don't know what is." (Threat)
submitted by hindsight44 (approved!)
Glasses of Wine Consumed
29:27
(+5)
Jaime Lannister:
Jaime takes a drink in Cersei's chambers as we all try to collectively erase the imagery of Euron sticking Cersei with the pointy end.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
Acts of Intercourse
30:10
(+20)
Jaime Lannister:
Jaime gets his trousers dropped as Cersei is feeling extra thirsty after another exhilarating session of dungeon torturing her enemies.
(Act of Intercourse)
Deaths
Littlefinger has his throat slit by Arya Stark, after his betrayals and treason are exposed by Sansa Stark in the court of Winterfell to the Northern and Vale lords.
Sansa: "Thank you for all your many lessons, Lord Baelish. I will never forget them." (Death)
Sansa: "Thank you for all your many lessons, Lord Baelish. I will never forget them." (Death)
Special
25:39
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Euron Greyjoy: "Ever since I was a little boy, I wanted to grow up and marry the most beautiful woman in the world, so here I am with a thousand ships and two good hands." (looks at Jaime)
(Special)
submitted by xdwxrd (approved!)
24:13
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Euron asks Jaime for advice on pleasing Cersei: "Does she like it gentle, or rough? A finger in the bum? Shh, shh, shh, shh, not now. We'll talk later."
(Special)
61:26
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Olenna Tyrell: "I'd hate to die like your son. Clawing at my neck, foam and bile spilling from my mouth, eyes blood red, skin purple. Must have been horrible for you, as a Kingsguard, as a father."
(Special)
Bronn: "Get back to King's Landing."
Jaime Lannister: "I'm not abandoning my army."
Bronn: "You're the commander, not a damn infantryman. Those fuckers are about to swamp us." (Special)
Jaime Lannister: "I'm not abandoning my army."
Bronn: "You're the commander, not a damn infantryman. Those fuckers are about to swamp us." (Special)
submitted by hindsight44 (approved!)
43:55
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Jamie uses his golden hand to block a strike from an attacking Dothraki.
(Special)
submitted by cyprus05 (approved!)
The Feels
20:20
(+0)
Podrick Payne:
While watching on as the living Stark children together in the courtyard of Winterfell:
Podrick: "Catelyn Stark would be proud. You've kept your vow."
Brienne: "I did next to nothing."
Podrick: "You're too hard on yourself, My Lady."
Brienne: "I'm not- ...thank you, Podrick." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
Podrick: "Catelyn Stark would be proud. You've kept your vow."
Brienne: "I did next to nothing."
Podrick: "You're too hard on yourself, My Lady."
Brienne: "I'm not- ...thank you, Podrick." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)