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Cersei Me Timbers | Fantasora

Cersei Me Timbers

Floppy Wieners Season 7

Owner: #BellanovaWins

34 roto pts (#2)
Z-Score: 0.442 (percentile: 67.07%)
Weeks at #1: 2
Categories won: Glasses of Wine Consumed (45)
Best Week: Episode 2: Stormborn (+4 roto points)
Team MVP: Arya Stark (picked #8, 165 points, 38.92% of team total)

Roster Stats

Character Drafted Total Kills Politics Insults Wine Sex Thrones Deaths Special Feels
The youngest of the Stark girls. Recently having completed her training as an assassin in the House of Black and White, she has set sail to return to Westeros to pursue her revenge.
#8 165 104 24 24 10 0 0 0 3 0
Quick to wit and even quicker to the drink, Tyrion is the youngest of three Lannister children. After being exiled by his sister Cersei, he has joined with Daenerys Targaryen, serving as her Hand of the Queen and most trusted adviser.
#5 109 0 27 54 25 0 0 0 3 0
Lord of Blackhaven, bannermen to House Baratheon. He leads the Brotherhood Without Banners, an outlaw fighting group in the Riverlands.
#41 85 70 6 0 0 0 0 0 9 0
Theon's older sister, Yara was raised on the Iron Islands as a true Ironborn. She is a fearsome fighter and commands a longship of her own. After her uncle Euron Greyjoy seizes control of the Iron Islands, she flees with Theon and her loyal troops to ally with Daenerys Targaryen, whose dragons and armies sail west to retake Westeros.
#29 27 16 0 0 5 0 0 0 6 0
The eldest of Prince Oberyn Martell's bastard children, known as the Sand Snakes. She wields a spear.
#20 18 0 0 3 5 0 0 7 3 0
Lord Protector of the Vale, Littlefinger effectively controls the Knights of the Vale through the easily manipulated Robbin Arryn. He is a master manipulator who will stop at nothing for power.
#17 17 0 12 0 0 0 0 5 0 0
The eldest child of Howland Reed, bannerman to the Starks. She assists Bran in his journeys north of the Wall and is the only other surviving member of his party.
#32 3 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 3 0
The Head of House Glover, and bannerman to the Starks.
- 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
The young, sickly son of the late Jon Arryn and Lysa Tully. He is Lord of the Vale, although he is easily manipualted by Lord Petyr Baelish, who serves as Lord Protector until he comes of age.
#44 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Totals 424 190 69 81 45 0 0 12 27 0

Roster

charId Character Special
17
Quick to wit and even quicker to the drink, Tyrion is the youngest of three Lannister children. After being exiled by his sister Cersei, he has joined with Daenerys Targaryen, serving as her Hand of the Queen and most trusted adviser.
* +1 point each time he is denied a drink
* +1 point whenever he physically gives someone a coin (or other legal tender)
6
The youngest of the Stark girls. Recently having completed her training as an assassin in the House of Black and White, she has set sail to return to Westeros to pursue her revenge.
* Nymeria's actions contribute to her points.
* +1 point for reciting her hitlist
* adopting a new Faceless Man disguise
79
Lord Protector of the Vale, Littlefinger effectively controls the Knights of the Vale through the easily manipulated Robbin Arryn. He is a master manipulator who will stop at nothing for power.
+1 point in the intercourse category for sex events that occur in his brothels
2x multiplier for betrayal events
+1 for every kiss he gives to Sansa
191
The eldest of Prince Oberyn Martell's bastard children, known as the Sand Snakes. She wields a spear.
+1 for invoking the name of Oberyn Martell
63
Theon's older sister, Yara was raised on the Iron Islands as a true Ironborn. She is a fearsome fighter and commands a longship of her own. After her uncle Euron Greyjoy seizes control of the Iron Islands, she flees with Theon and her loyal troops to ally with Daenerys Targaryen, whose dragons and armies sail west to retake Westeros.
+1 when referencing that she is a lesbian, or making a pass at another woman
13
The eldest child of Howland Reed, bannerman to the Starks. She assists Bran in his journeys north of the Wall and is the only other surviving member of his party.
+1 every time she transports Bran
101
Lord of Blackhaven, bannermen to House Baratheon. He leads the Brotherhood Without Banners, an outlaw fighting group in the Riverlands.
Can receive points multiple times in the Death category
+1 when shown igniting the flaming sword
256
The Head of House Glover, and bannerman to the Starks.
Kills
Episode 1: Dragonstone
2:41 (+94) Arya Stark:
Masquerading as Walder Frey, Arya serves poisoned wine to a host of 47 Freys in the same dining hall where Robb and Catelyn were murdered at the Red Wedding.

"But you didn't slaughter every one of the Starks. No, no, that was your mistake. You should have ripped them all out, root and stem. Leave one wolf alive and the sheep are never safe. When people ask you what happened here tell them the North remembers. Tell them winter came for House Frey."
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
Episode 2: Stormborn
Yara kills three Greyjoy soldiers in the initial melee aboard her ship, throwing down one, slicing down a second, and killing a third on the backswing of her sword. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Yara slices two Greyjoy soldiers by the neck. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Yara cuts the throat of one of Euron's soldiers, before turning to witness the fiery carnage of her fleet.  As she regains her composure she stabs another soldier. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Yara knocks an Ironborn soldier off the upper deck of her ship. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Episode 6: Beyond the Wall
Beric smacks his flaming sword onto the wight bear, setting it on fire. (Major Injury of Named Character)
Beric applies his flaming sword to cauterize the chest wounds suffered by Thoros at the paws of the wight bear. (Minor Injury of Named Character)
Beric slices through a wight during the ambush on the White Walker scouting party. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Beric cuts down 31 wights in the ensuing battle as the Night King's Army of the Dead descends upon the group. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Episode 7: The Dragon and the Wolf
59:58 (+10) Arya Stark:
Arya slits a groveling Littlefinger across his throat, after his betrayals and treason are exposed by Sansa in the court of Winterfell to the Northern and Vale lords.

Sansa: "Thank you for all your many lessons, Lord Baelish. I will never forget them."
(Kill of Named Character)
Political Wins
Episode 1: Dragonstone
"... so I can tell you my plans for this great house, now that Winter has come". (House Words)
While looking into Thoros' flames, Sandor Clegane discovers the location of the planned White Walker invasion - Eastwatch-by-the-Sea -  a secret which Beric seems to already be aware of.
---
Sandor Clegane: "Ice.  A wall of ice.  The Wall. ... It's where the Wall meets the sea.  There's a castle there.  There's a mountain.  Looks like an arrowhead.  The dead are marching past.  Thousands of them."
Beric: "Do you believe me now, Clegane?"
(Secret Discovery)
Episode 2: Stormborn
Arya encounters Nymeria in the forest, where she leads her own pack of wolves. (Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
submitted by ssantise (approved!)
Tyrion convinces Daenerys to follow Melisandre's proposal to ally with Jon Snow. "I can't speak to prophecies or visions in the flame... but I like Jon Snow, and I trusted him. And I am an excellent judge of character." (Convincing Argument)
Tyrion's earlier advice wins over Daenerys, as she opts for a slower, more politically-calculated siege rather than the violent direct-assault on King's Landing advocated by her Westerosi allies. "I am not here to be Queen of the Ashes." (Convincing Argument)
Episode 3: The Queen's Justice
After Jon Snow resigns himself to giving up on an alliance with Daenerys and returning to the North empty-handed, Tyrion convinces him to stay and find a compromise deal, leading him to ask for the dragonglass.

Tyrion: "After a single meeting, it's not a reasonable thing to ask. So, do you have anything reasonable to ask?"
Jon: "What do you mean?"
Tyrion: "Maybe you are a Northern fool. I'm asking if there's something I can do to help you."
(Convincing Argument)
Tyrion convinces Daenerys to give Jon Snow the dragonglass as a gesture of good faith with the North. "Let him mine the Dragonglass. If he's wrong, it's worthless. You didn't even know it was here. It's nothing to you. Give him something by giving him nothing. Take a step toward a more productive relationship with a possible ally." (Convincing Argument)
Episode 4: The Spoils of War
Arya convinces the Winterfell guards to allow her into the castle: "I'm getting into this castle one way or another. If I'm not who I say I am, I won't last long. But if I am, and Sansa finds you've turned me away..." (Convincing Argument)
At the Stark sibling reunion party, Bran regifts Littlefinger's Valyrian steel dagger to Arya.

Arya: "Are you sure? It's Valyrian steel."
Bran: "It's wasted on a cripple."
(New Weapon)
Arya asserts that Brienne's vow means that she serves her as well, compelling her to engage in a sparring match. "You swore to serve both my mother's daughters, didn't you?" (New Follower/Prisoner)
Episode 5: Eastwatch
After the latest rejected plea by Jon Snow to get Daenerys to assist in the war with the White Walkers, Tyrion convinces the team on a different course to try to unite all three monarchs together:

Jon Snow: "We'll fight with the men we have. Unless you'll join us."
Daenerys: "And give the country to Cersei? As soon as I march away, she marches in."
Tyrion: "Perhaps not. Cersei thinks the Army of the Dead is nothing but a story made up by wet nurses to frighten children. What if we prove her wrong?
Jon: "I don't think she'll come see the dead at my invitation."
Tyrion: "So bring the dead to her."
(Convincing Argument)
After Tyrion and Jaime's secret meeting, Cersei agrees to the truce with Daenerys while they await for Jon to return with proof of the White Walker situation.

Cersei: "I've come to believe that an accommodation with the Dragon Queen could be in our immediate interest. She has the numbers. If we want to beat her, we have to be clever. We have to fight her like Father would have."
(Deals Brokered)
Littlefinger acquires the only copy of a raven letter written by Sansa while she was in King's Landing, when she was compelled by Cersei to ask Robb Stark to come south and bend the knee.

Maester Wolkan: "I found it, my Lord. It took some searching. Maester Luwin's archives are very thorough."
Petyr: "You're sure this is the only copy in Winterfell?
Wolkan: "Yes, my Lord."
Petyr: "Lady Stark thanks you for your service."
(Secret Discovery)
Littlefinger has been using Maester Wolkan to dig through the Winterfell archives, portraying it as a command by Sansa Stark.

Maester Wolkan: "I found it, my Lord. It took some searching. Maester Luwin's archives are very thorough."
Petyr: "You're sure this is the only copy in Winterfell?
Wolkan: "Yes, my Lord."
Petyr: "Lady Stark thanks you for your service."
(Act of Betrayal)
Arya breaks into Littlefinger's chambers and discovers the hidden raven letter, a note from Sansa Stark while she was held captive in King's Landing, asking Robb Stark to come south and bend the knee. (Secret Discovery)
Episode 6: Beyond the Wall
Beric says a brief prayer for Thoros after they discover him perished in the night. "Lord of Light, show us the way. Come to us in our darkness and lead your servant into the light ... Lord of Light, come to us in our darkness. For the night is dark and full of terrors." (House Words)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Arya catches Sansa in the act of searching through her room for the copy of the compromising raven letter. "Not what you're looking for?" (Secret Discovery)
Episode 7: The Dragon and the Wolf
During their meeting in King's Landing, Tyrion deduces that Cersei is pregnant. (Secret Discovery)
Tyrion's meeting with Cersei is succesful, convincing her to not only agree to the truce but to pledge her armies to march north to face the undead threat.

Cersei: "My armies will not stand down. I will not pull them back to the capital. I will march them north to fight alongside you in the Great War. The darkness is coming for us all. We'll face it together. And when the Great War is over, perhaps you'll remember I chose to help with no promises or assurances from any of you."
(Convincing Argument)
After a private meeting with Tyrion, Cersei agrees to a truce with the Targaryen and Northern forces so that they may collectively combat the White Walker threat, completing the deal brokered by Tyrion, Jaime, and Bronn's secret meeting. (Deals Brokered)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Insults Delivered / Funny Lines
Episode 1: Dragonstone
"But you didn't slaughter every one of the Starks. No, no, that was your mistake. You should have ripped them all out, root and stem. Leave one wolf alive and the sheep are never safe. When people ask you what happened here tell them the North remembers. Tell them winter came for House Frey." (Threat)
Episode 2: Stormborn
Hot Pie: "You've been making pies?"
Arya: "One or two." (in reference to her Frey pies)
(Funny Line)
submitted by ssantise (approved!)
Tyrion while convincing Daenerys to follow Melisandre's proposal to ally with Jon Snow. "I can't speak to prophecies or visions in the flame... but I like Jon Snow, and I trusted him. And I am an excellent judge of character." (Funny Line)
Tyene Sand: "Maybe I'll kill you both before we take King's Landing. And then I won't have to share."
Obara and Nymeria: "(baby voice) Mammmaaa!"
(Funny Line)
Episode 3: The Queen's Justice
to Jon Snow: "I came down here to brood over my failure to predict the Greyjoy attack. You're making it difficult. You look a lot better brooding than I do. You make me feel like I'm failing at brooding over failing." (Funny Line)
"People's minds aren't made for problems that large. White Walkers, the Night King, Army of the Dead. It's almost a relief to confront a comfortable, familiar monster like my sister." (Witty Insult)
Tyrion: "Apparently, it can be turned into weapons that kill white walkers and their foot soldiers. Or stop them. Destroy them. Unsure about the nomenclature." (Funny Line)
Tyrion: "I'd very much like to believe that Jon Snow is wrong. But a wise man once said that you should never believe a thing simply because you want to believe it."
Daenerys: "Which wise man said this?"
Tyrion: "I don't remember."
Daenerys: "Are you trying to present your own statements as ancient wisdom?"
Tyrion: "I would never do that."
To you.
The reason I believe Jon Snow is because he's here.
(Funny Line)
Episode 4: The Spoils of War
Brienne: "You can't use that, My Lady, it's too small." (referring to Arya's sword, Needle)
Arya: "I won't cut you, don't worry."
(Threat)
Episode 5: Eastwatch
Tyrion: "Who's that (raven letter) for?"
Varys: "Jon Snow."
Tyrion: "Did you read it?"
Varys: "It's a sealed scroll for the King in the North."
...
Tyrion: "What's it say?"
(Funny Line)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Jaime: "I once told Bronn that if I ever saw you again, I'd cut you in half."
Tyrion: "...it'll take you a while with a sparring sword."
(Funny Line)
First Gold Cloak: "That dwarf..."
Second Gold Cloak: "Where'd you get that scar?"
Tyrion: "Fish hook. Some men you just can't teach."
(Funny Line)
Davos introduces Tyrion to Gendry, who has just smashed in the heads of two investigating Gold Cloaks.

Davos: "This is Gendry."
Tyrion: "He'll do."
(Funny Line)
to Jorah Mormont: "You may not believe it, but I've missed you, Mormont. Nobody glowers quite like you. Not even Grey Worm." (Witty Insult)
Episode 6: Beyond the Wall
to Sansa: "What would little Lyanna Mormont say? She's younger than you were when you wrote this. Are you going to say 'But I was just a child'?" (Threat)
Sansa Stark: "You're angry. Sometimes anger makes people do unfortunate things."
Arya: "Sometimes fear makes them do unfortunate things. I'll go with anger."
(Comeback)
Daenerys: "Jon Snow is not in love with me."
Tyrion: "Oh, my mistake. I suppose he stares at you longingly because he's hopeful for a successful military alliance."
(Funny Line)
Sansa Stark: " I have hundreds of men here at Winterfell, all loyal to me."
Arya: "They're not here now."
(Threat)
to Sansa: "Neither of us got to be the other person, did we? The world doesn't just let girls decide what they are going to be. But I can now. With the faces I can choose. I can become someone else. Speak in their voice, live in their skin. I can even become you. I wonder what it would feel like to wear those pretty dresses. To be the Lady of Winterfell. All I'd need to find out is your face." (Threat)
Episode 7: The Dragon and the Wolf
Sandor Clegane: "Am I going to die in this shit city?"
Tyrion Lanniser: "You might."
Sandor: "And this is all your idea. Seems every bad idea has some Lannister cunt behind it."
Tyrion: "And some Clegane cunt to help them see it through."
(Witty Insult)
to Jon Snow: "I'm pleased you bent the knee to our Queen. I would have advised it, had you asked. But have you ever considered learning how to lie every now and then? Just a bit?!?" (Witty Insult)
Jon: "Talk about my father if you want, tell me that's the attitude that got him killed. But when enough people make false promises, words stop meaning anything. Then there are no more answers, only better and better lies. And lies won't help us in this fight."
Tyrion: "That is indeed a problem. The more immediate problem is that we're fucked."
(Funny Line)
Jon Snow: "I did this. I should go."
Tyrion: "She'll definitely murder you."
(Funny Line)
Cersei: "I shouldn't be surprised, I suppose. She's your kind of woman: a foreign whore who doesn't know her place."
Tyrion: "A foreign whore you can't abduct, beat, or intimidate. That must be difficult for you."
(Witty Insult)
Sansa Stark: "You stand accused of murder. You stand accused of treason. How do you answer these charges... Lord Baelish?"
Petyr Baelish: "...?"
Arya: "My sister asked you a question."
(Threat)
Glasses of Wine Consumed
Episode 1: Dragonstone
Arya shares in some blackberry wine offered by the camp of Lannister soldiers. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Episode 2: Stormborn
Arya goes for the ale after Hot Pie probes further into what she's been up to. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Obara drinks in her hammock below deck, as the Sand Sisters argue over who they will kill in King's Landing. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Yara drinks with Theon and Ellaria Sand below deck as they sail for Sunspear. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Episode 5: Eastwatch
Tyrion drinks while discussing the burning of the Tarlys with Varys. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Tyrion drinks from the refill after Varys finishes off the cup of wine he was originally drinking. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Episode 6: Beyond the Wall
Tyrion drinks while talking with Daenerys in Dragonstone. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Episode 7: The Dragon and the Wolf
Tyrion pours himself a glass from Cersei's own wine stash after he survives his feigned plea that Cersei should have Gregor Clegane execute him. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
After serving a refill of wine to Cersei, Tyrion pours another for himself and drinks. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Deaths
Episode 2: Stormborn
Obara is impaled with the shards of her own spear by Euron Greyjoy. (Death)
In the aftermath of Euron's ambush on Yara's fleet, Obara's body is shown impaled with her own spears onto the bowsprit of the burning ship. (Dead Body Appearance)
Episode 7: The Dragon and the Wolf
Littlefinger has his throat slit by Arya Stark, after his betrayals and treason are exposed by Sansa Stark in the court of Winterfell to the Northern and Vale lords.

Sansa: "Thank you for all your many lessons, Lord Baelish. I will never forget them."
(Death)
Special
Episode 1: Dragonstone
Arya peels off the mask of Walder Frey to reveal herself after assassinating the host of Freys in the dining hall at the Twins. (Special)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Meera gives a slight push to Bran's sledge for appearances sake, as two members of the Night's Watch tow Bran through the gates at Castle Black. (Special)
Episode 2: Stormborn
Yara makes a pass at Ellaria below deck as Theon watches. (Special)
submitted by shannonferretti (approved!)
to Nymeria: "The Mountain killed father. He'll crush you with one hand." (Special)
Ellaria Sand: "You ever been to Dorne?"
Yara: "A few times. Never stayed long."
Ellaria: "A boy in every port."
Yara: "A boy. A girl. Depends on the port."
(Special)
Episode 5: Eastwatch
Episode 6: Beyond the Wall
Beric lights his sword on fire as the wight bear descends on the party. (Special)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Beric lights up his flaming sword to cremate the remains of Thoros of Myr. (Special)
Beric lights up his firesaber as the wight army approaches over the re-frozen ice. (Special)
The Feels
Episode 5: Eastwatch
Tyrion and Jorah share a brief reunion before Jorah sails off to the Wall on Jon's expedition to kidnap a wight..

Tyrion: "This is the coin the slaver gave me when I suggested he free us and pay us, remember?"
Jorah: "It was supposed to last us the rest of our lives."
Tyrion: "Take it with you. But bring it back. Our Queen needs you."
(Warm Fuzzy Moment)
Episode 7: The Dragon and the Wolf
After an intense conversation spilling out all of Tyrion's wrongs to their family, Cersei decides not to execute her brother after all this time. Relieved, Tyrion downs a glass of wine, and pours another for Cersei, reuniting them with the only familial bond more powerful than her incestual love for Jaime - alcoholism. (Warm Fuzzy Moment)