Lady Stoneheart - Zombies Hate Fast Food
Valar Morghulis... Don't You Mean YOLO?
Owner: yattabro221
9-1, 52.5 roto pts (#1)
Z-Score:
1.103 (percentile: 86.5%)
Weeks at #1: 7.5
Categories won:
Insults Delivered / Funny Lines (90), Glasses of Wine Consumed (65), Deaths (37)
Best Week:
Episode 1: The Wars to Come
(+9 roto points)
Team MVP:
Tyrion Lannister
(picked #1,
121 points,
36.12% of team total)
Longest winstreak: W-6
Roster Stats
Roster
| charId | Character | Special |
|---|---|---|
| 17 |
Tyrion Lannister
The third of the Lannister children. After losing his trial for the murder of King Joffrey, he has escaped prison and fled King's Landing.
|
* +1 point each time he is denied a drink * +1 point whenever he physically gives someone a coin (or other legal tender) |
| 36 |
Daario Naharis
Leader of the Second Sons, a sellsword company who broke their contract and now sides with Daenerys.
|
+1 point each time he flirts with Daenerys. |
| 51 |
Stannis Baratheon
The eldest brother of King Robert, he is the rightful heir to the Irone Throne.
|
+1 point each time he makes a Stannis-style pedantic correction. +1 point when he mentions that someone will/should "bend the knee" [new] |
| 77 |
Tommen Baratheon
The new King of the Seven Kingdoms.
|
Actions by Ser Pounce contribute to his points. |
| 43 |
Alliser Thorne
Formerly the master-of-arms at Castle Black, Thorne now serves as acting Lord Commander of the Night's Watch in the absence of Lord Commander Mormont.
|
+1 point every time he address Jon Snow as "Lord Snow". |
| 107 |
Janos Slynt
A member of the Night's Watch. Slynt formerly served as Commander of the City Watch, before he was removed from the post and exiled by Tyrion Lannister.
|
|
| 72 |
Qyburn
A disgraced former Maester, who was banished from the order for engaging in forbidden experiments. He is recruited by Cersei to assist in various medical facilities.
|
* +1 point whenever he receives a new specimen for his experiments * +1 politics point when reporting information from his "little birds" |
| 125 |
Selyse Baratheon
Lord Stannis Baratheon's wife. She is a strong believer in the new faith of the red priestess Melisandre, who follows the Lord of Light.
|
+1 point when she does something crazy or New Age. |
Kills
23:36
(+1)
Daario Naharis :
Daario stabs a member of the Sons of the Harpy, who was concealed behind the wall of a hideout.
(Major Injury of Unnamed Character)
51:07
(+10)
Daario Naharis :
Daario beheads Mossador with his arakh in a public execution. Mossador was sentenced to death on Daenerys' orders, after he murdered the captive Son of the Harpy.
(Kill of Named Character)
Qyburn kills a rat for his experiments, splashing its blood onto his magnifying glass.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
28:30
(+1)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion beats a slave trader with the chain from his collar, to prove his worth to the slave trader Yezzan zo Qaggaz.
(Major Injury of Unnamed Character)
33:57
(+10)
Stannis Baratheon:
Stannis sacrifices his own daughter Shireen to the Lord of Light, allowing the red priestess Melisandre to burn her at the stake.
(Kill of Named Character)
44:46
(+4)
Daario Naharis :
Daario kills two Sons of the Harpy as they reveal themselves and try to attack Daenerys.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
45:11
(+2)
Daario Naharis :
Daario kills another Son of the Harpy while defending Daenerys in the fighting pit gallery.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
45:39
(+2)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion picks a dagger up from the ground and slits the throat of a Son of the Harpy who attempts to attack Missandei.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
47:18
(+8)
Daario Naharis :
Daario cuts down four enemies as Daenerys' group becomes encircled by the Sons of the Harpy mob.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
49:13
(+2)
Daario Naharis :
Daario slices a Son of the Harpy with his arakh in the middle of the fighting pits.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
49:46
(+2)
Daario Naharis :
Daario throws his dagger into the stomach of a spear-wielding Son of the Harpy.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
3:49
(+10)
Selyse Baratheon:
Selyse hangs herself after she is devastated by the sacrificial burning of her daughter Shireen.
(Kill of Named Character)
14:07
(+4)
Stannis Baratheon:
Stannis kills two Bolton soldiers who attempt to finish him off in the woods outside Winterfell.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
56:31
(+5)
Alliser Thorne:
Alliser stabs Jon Snow in the stomach as he and the rest of the Night's Watch assassinate him for aiding the Wildlings. "For the Watch."
(Major Injury of Named Character)
Political Wins
Cersei names Qyburn the new Master of Whispers, replacing Varys.
(Politics - uncategorized)
37:03
(+3)
Alliser Thorne:
Ser Alliser is appointed First Ranger by Jon Snow: "Ser Alliser, you have more experience than any other soldier at Castle Black. You proved your valor many times over by defending the Wall from the Wildling attack. I name you First Ranger."
(Politics - uncategorized)
40:55
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion figures out that his captor is Jorah Mormont, and deduces the backstory behind their falling out. "A highborn knight from the North of Westeros, down on his luck in Essos. Dragon epaulets, bear sigil breastplate. You're Jorah Mormont."
(Politics - uncategorized)
38:37
(+3)
Stannis Baratheon:
Stannis ignores Ser Davos Seaworth's caution and gives the order to mobilize the Baratheon army. "We have the advantage: more men, more horses, all fed and rested. But every day we wait, the odds shift in Bolton's favor. This could turn to winter at any moment. We have to act now. Give the order. We march at sunrise."
(Politics - uncategorized)
21:27
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion convinces the slave trader Malko to spare his life for the time being, instead of slitting his throat and chopping off his cock. "You can't just hand a dried cock to a merchant and expect him to pay for it! He has to know it came from a dwarf. And how could he know unless he sees the dwarf?"
(Politics - uncategorized)
4:45
(+3)
Alliser Thorne:
Jon Snow names Ser Alliser acting commander at Castle Black.
(Politics - uncategorized)
18:26
(+3)
Stannis Baratheon:
Stannis orders his army to march on through the winter storm, against Ser Davos' counsel.
Davos Seaworth: "It's better to wait for the right time than risk everything."
Stannis: "This is the right time and I will risk everything. Because if I don't, we've lost. We march to victory or we march to defeat. But we go forward. Only forward." (Politics - uncategorized)
Davos Seaworth: "It's better to wait for the right time than risk everything."
Stannis: "This is the right time and I will risk everything. Because if I don't, we've lost. We march to victory or we march to defeat. But we go forward. Only forward." (Politics - uncategorized)
5:58
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion convinces Daenerys to spare Jorah Mormont, and banish him from the city of Meereeen instead. "A ruler who kills those devoted to her is not a ruler who inspires devotion. And you're going to need to inspire devotion, a lot of it, if you're ever going to rule across the Narrow Sea. But you cannot have him by your side when you do."
(Politics - uncategorized)
8:26
(+3)
Stannis Baratheon:
Stannis overrules Ser Davos's protests, and orders him away to Castle Black.
Ser Davos: "The King's Hand should never abandon the king, especially in time of war."
Stannis: "You're not abandoning me. You're obeying a command ... Ride for Castle Black. Don't come back empty-handed." (Politics - uncategorized)
Ser Davos: "The King's Hand should never abandon the king, especially in time of war."
Stannis: "You're not abandoning me. You're obeying a command ... Ride for Castle Black. Don't come back empty-handed." (Politics - uncategorized)
8:44
(+3)
Stannis Baratheon:
Stannis denies Ser Davos' plead to escort the royal family back to Castle Black.
Davos: "Your Grace, perhaps Queen Selyse and Princess Shireen could accompany me."
Stannis: "My family stays with me."
Davos: "At least let me take Shireen. A siege is no place for a little girl."
Stannis: "My family stays with me." (Politics - uncategorized)
Davos: "Your Grace, perhaps Queen Selyse and Princess Shireen could accompany me."
Stannis: "My family stays with me."
Davos: "At least let me take Shireen. A siege is no place for a little girl."
Stannis: "My family stays with me." (Politics - uncategorized)
13:17
(+3)
Tommen Baratheon:
King Tommen has apparently sent orders for his sister Myrcella to return to King's Landing, which Doran Martell reluctantly agrees to. "King Tommen insists on his sister's return to the capital? ... I cannot disobey my king's command."
(Politics - uncategorized)
33:03
(+3)
Stannis Baratheon:
Stannis overrules his wife Selyse's last second change of heart on the sacrifice of Shireen.
Selyse Baratheon: "We can't."
Stannis: "There's no other way. She has king's blood." (Politics - uncategorized)
Selyse Baratheon: "We can't."
Stannis: "There's no other way. She has king's blood." (Politics - uncategorized)
34:50
(+3)
Daario Naharis :
Daario directs traffic in Meereen in the absence of Daenerys, ordering Tyrion, Grey Worm, and Missandei to manage the city while he and Jorah venture out in search of Daenerys. "Good fortune, my friends. Meereen is ancient and glorious. Try not to ruin her."
(Politics - uncategorized)
53:25
(+3)
Tommen Baratheon:
Tommen gains a new member to his Kingsguard in the Mountain, who has been rehabilitated by Qyburn.
(Politics - uncategorized)
56:31
(+3)
Alliser Thorne:
Jon Snow is betrayed by Ser Alliser for helping to aid the Wildlings. "For the Watch."
(Politics - uncategorized)
Insults Delivered / Funny Lines
14:19
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
"Are you a lord if you kill your father? I don't imagine they revoke your nobility for killing a whore, it must happen all the time."
(Funny Line)
35:00
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Varys: "There are faster ways to kill yourself."
Tyrion: "Not for a coward." (Funny Line)
Tyrion: "Not for a coward." (Funny Line)
37:31
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Varys: "You have a choice, my friend. You can stay here at Illyrio's palace and drink yourself to death or you can ride with me to Meereen, meet Daenerys Targaryen and decide if the world is worth fighting for."
Tyrion: "Can I drink myself to death on the road to Meereen?" (Funny Line)
Tyrion: "Can I drink myself to death on the road to Meereen?" (Funny Line)
27:30
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Varys: "Cersei has offered a lordship to the man who brings her your head."
Tyrion: "She ought to offer her cunt. Best part of her for the best part of me." (Witty Insult)
Tyrion: "She ought to offer her cunt. Best part of her for the best part of me." (Witty Insult)
27:43
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Varys: "Are we really going to spend the entire road to Volantis talking about the futility of everything?"
Tyrion: "You're right, no point." (Funny Line)
Tyrion: "You're right, no point." (Funny Line)
6:54
(+3)
Tommen Baratheon:
King Tommen after bedding Margaery: "This is all I want to do. All day. Every day. For the rest of my life."
(Funny Line)
25:02
(+3)
Stannis Baratheon:
Stannis: "You're as stubborn as your father. And as honorable."
Jon Snow: "I can imagine no higher praise"
Stannis: "I didn't mean it as praise. Honor got your father killed." (Witty Insult)
Jon Snow: "I can imagine no higher praise"
Stannis: "I didn't mean it as praise. Honor got your father killed." (Witty Insult)
submitted by Reaper (approved!)
26:24
(+3)
Stannis Baratheon:
Jon Snow: "I heard it was best to keep your enemies close."
Stannis: "Whoever said that didn't have many enemies." (Funny Line)
Stannis: "Whoever said that didn't have many enemies." (Funny Line)
submitted by Reaper (approved!)
37:24
(+3)
Janos Slynt:
after Jon orders him to rebuild the ruined tower of Greyguard: "I was charged with the defense of King's Landing when you were soiling your swaddling clothes. Keep your ruin."
(Witty Insult)
to High Septon: "So you were ministering to the needs of these... devout prostitutes."
(Funny Line)
submitted by wpearsal (approved!)
54:54
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Brothel bouncer: "It's good luck to rub a dwarf's head."
Tyrion: "It's even better luck to suck a dwarf's cock."
*flustered Varys* (Funny Line)
Tyrion: "It's even better luck to suck a dwarf's cock."
*flustered Varys* (Funny Line)
submitted by wpearsal (approved!)
22:16
(+3)
Stannis Baratheon:
Stannis: "Are you lonely?"
Shireen: "Just bored."
Stannis: "My father used to tell me that boredom indicates a lack of inner resources." (Witty Insult)
Shireen: "Just bored."
Stannis: "My father used to tell me that boredom indicates a lack of inner resources." (Witty Insult)
39:08
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
"MRPPHM MRPPPHM MPRMPRPHM MPRPHPM MPRPRHPHMMM MMHRRM MPHRRM... thank you."
(Funny Line)
47:40
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
to Jorah Mormont: "Long, sullen silences and the occasional punch in the face. The Mormont way."
(Witty Insult)
21:27
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion: "You can't just hand a dried cock to a merchant and expect him to pay for it! He has to know it came from a dwarf. And how could he know unless he sees the dwarf?"
Slave trader: "It will be a dwarf-sized cock."
Tyrion: "Guess again." (Funny Line)
Slave trader: "It will be a dwarf-sized cock."
Tyrion: "Guess again." (Funny Line)
2:24
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
"I killed my mother... on the day I was born. I killed my father, Tywin Lannister, with a bolt to the heart. I am the greatest Lannister killer of all time."
(Funny Line)
20:27
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
"Someday, if you decide not to execute me, I'll tell you all about why I killed my father. And on that day, should it ever come, we'll need more wine than this."
(Funny Line)
21:25
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
"My own sister married someone she loathed as well, though not by choice and certainly not for the greater good, Gods forbid."
(Witty Insult)
7:03
(+3)
Alliser Thorne:
to Jon: "You have a good heart, Jon Snow. It'll get us all killed."
(Witty Insult)
37:54
(+3)
Daario Naharis :
Daario talks about his history in the fighting pits: "But the pile of angry muscles (strong and slow pit fighters) never had any muscles here, or... *points dagger at Hizdahr's head* here. And the big men were always too slow to stop my dagger from going where their muscles weren't."
Read more at: http://transcripts.foreverdreaming.org/viewtopic.php?f=67&t=18722 (Witty Insult)
Read more at: http://transcripts.foreverdreaming.org/viewtopic.php?f=67&t=18722 (Witty Insult)
38:21
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Hizdahr zo Loraq: "You don't approve (of the fighting pits)?"
Tyrion: "There's always been more than enough death in the world for my taste. I can do without it in my leisure time." (Funny Line)
Tyrion: "There's always been more than enough death in the world for my taste. I can do without it in my leisure time." (Funny Line)
38:56
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Hizdahr zo Loraq, as the dead pit fighter is dragged away: "That... is a vital part of the great city of Meereen, which existed long before you or I, and will remain standing long after we have returned to the dirt."
Tyrion: "My father would have liked you." (Witty Insult)
Tyrion: "My father would have liked you." (Witty Insult)
39:36
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
to Hizdahr zo Loraq: "Well said. You're an eloquent man. Doesn't mean you're wrong. In my experience, eloquent men are right every bit as often as imbeciles."
(Witty Insult)
31:34
(+3)
Daario Naharis :
to Jorah, on Tyrion: "Does he always talk so much?"
Jorah: *nods* (Funny Line)
Jorah: *nods* (Funny Line)
33:34
(+3)
Daario Naharis :
Daario: "Have you ever tracked animals in the wilderness?"
Tyrion: "Not precisely, but I have other skills that would be useful."
Daario: "Can you fight?"
Tyrion: "I have fought. I don't claim to be a great warrior."
Daario: "Are you good on a horse?"
Tyrion: "Middling."
Daario: "So mainly you talk." (Witty Insult)
Tyrion: "Not precisely, but I have other skills that would be useful."
Daario: "Can you fight?"
Tyrion: "I have fought. I don't claim to be a great warrior."
Daario: "Are you good on a horse?"
Tyrion: "Middling."
Daario: "So mainly you talk." (Witty Insult)
33:36
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Daario: "So mainly you talk."
Tyrion: "And drink. I've survived so far." (Witty Insult)
Tyrion: "And drink. I've survived so far." (Witty Insult)
34:08
(+3)
Daario Naharis :
on Grey Worm: "He is. He's the toughest man with no balls I ever met."
(Witty Insult)
Glasses of Wine Consumed
13:59
(+15)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion downs 3 cups of wine after getting out of that fucking crate, before puking over all the rugs in Ilyrio's palace.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
15:04
(+5)
Tyrion Lannister:
After vomiting his previous three drinks onto the floor of Ilyrio's palace, Tyrion refills and goes for another. Boot 'n rally!
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
35:01
(+10)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion drinks away his misery with two glasses of wine on the balcony of Ilyrio's palace.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
27:20
(+5)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion drinks a glass of wine inside that fucking box.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
9:03
(+5)
Tommen Baratheon:
Tommen drinks in bed after sleeping with Margaery.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
52:53
(+5)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion drinks from a flask while walking through a market in Volantis.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
20:13
(+5)
Tyrion Lannister:
drinks while speaking with Daenerys in her chambers.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
22:45
(+5)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion drinks his refilled cup while speaking with Daenerys in her chambers.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
Acts of Intercourse
39:31
(+5)
Daario Naharis :
Daario pours wine after a session with Daenerys, as they discuss the re-opening of the fighting pits.
(Act of Intercourse)
6:34
(+5)
Tommen Baratheon:
Tommen's first time, consummating his marriage with Margaery after their wedding. "It all happened so fast."
(Act of Intercourse)
29:24
(+5)
Daario Naharis :
Daario and Daenerys share pillowtalk after a session in her chambers.
(Act of Intercourse)
30:04
(+5)
Daario Naharis :
As he and Daenerys have post-sex pillow talk, Daario rolls on top of her and mounts her again.
(Act of Intercourse)
submitted by angurtheconsumer (approved!)
Deaths
40:26
(+10)
Janos Slynt:
Janos is beheaded for insubordination, after defying Jon Snow's orders as Lord Commander.
(Death)
+1 for Janos Slynt
+1 for Janos Slynt
+1 for Janos Slynt
+1 for Janos Slynt
+1 for Janos Slynt
+1 for Janos Slynt
3:49
(+10)
Selyse Baratheon:
Selyse hangs herself after she is devastated by the sacrificial burning of her daughter Shireen.
(Death)
16:11
(+10)
Stannis Baratheon:
The strong implication is that he was, in fact killed at the hands of Brienne of Tarth. I realize it wasn't technically on-screen and could be considered to be ambiguous, but we never saw Syrio Forel's death or the Hound's death, but the understanding is that they are dead as well. And if at the start of the next season, it turns out that he did, in fact, die, it'll be a little late to go back and add the points. Would the points be given to whoever has him at the beginning of next season, then?
(Death)
submitted by cfitzgerald (approved!)
+1 for Janos Slynt
Special
39:02
(+3)
Daario Naharis :
While Daenerys holds court with Hizdahr zo Loraq, Daario pulls out his dagger and suggestively strokes its naked lady hilt while Daenerys eyes him.
(Special)
25:02
(+3)
Stannis Baratheon:
Stannis corrects Jon Snow
Stannis: "You're as stubborn as your father. And as honorable."
Jon Snow: "I can imagine no higher praise"
Stannis: "I didn't mean it as praise. Honor got your father killed." (Special)
Stannis: "You're as stubborn as your father. And as honorable."
Jon Snow: "I can imagine no higher praise"
Stannis: "I didn't mean it as praise. Honor got your father killed." (Special)
submitted by Reaper (approved!)
13:21
(+3)
Stannis Baratheon:
Stannis corrects First Builder Yarwyck during a meeting of the Night's Watch.
Othell Yarwyck: "Let them die (the Wildlings). We got out our own to worry about. Less enemies for us."
Stannis: "Fewer." (Special)
Othell Yarwyck: "Let them die (the Wildlings). We got out our own to worry about. Less enemies for us."
Stannis: "Fewer." (Special)
38:00
(+3)
Daario Naharis :
Daario stares dreamily into Daenerys' eyes while talking about his past as a pit fighter: "Yes, whenever I saw a beast like that one standing across from me making his beast faces, I knew I could rest easy."
(Special)