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Bend it Like Podrick | Fantasora

Bend it Like Podrick

House Hamilton Season 5

Owner: dsborczuk

9-0-1, 49.5 roto pts (#2)
Z-Score: 1.226 (percentile: 89%)
Weeks at #1: 9
Categories won: Acts of Intercourse (40), Special (45)
Best Week: Episode 10: Mother's Mercy (+6.5 roto points)
Team MVP: Cersei Lannister (picked #2, 142 points, 48.14% of team total)
Longest winstreak: W-6

Roster Stats

Character Drafted Total Kills Politics Insults Wine Sex Thrones Deaths Special Feels
Queen Regent of the Seven Kingdoms and mother to King Tommen.
#2 142 0 12 36 40 30 0 0 24 0
The exiled head of House Mormont. Jorah was previously one of Daenerys' most trusted advisors, but was banished when his time serving as a spy for Robert Baratheon was revealed to her.
#15 56 36 6 6 5 0 0 0 3 0
A steward of the Night's Watch. He is a close friend to Jon Snow, and one of the few people known to have killed a White Walker.
#18 49 0 9 18 5 5 0 0 12 0
A squire who serves Tyrion Lannister.
#31 17 0 3 3 5 0 0 0 6 0
Stannis Baratheon's daughter and only child. She is afflicted with greyscale, a disease which has left her face scarred and cracked. She is close friends with Ser Davos Seaworth.
#50 14 0 0 3 0 0 0 11 0 0
The apparent leader of the White Walkers.
#63 9 0 9 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
A daughter of Craster, a wildling who lived in a fortified compound north of the Wall. She and her baby escaped to Castle Black with Samwell Tarly.
#34 8 0 0 3 0 5 0 0 0 0
A Pirate Lord from the Lys, a free city of Essos. He is an old friend of Ser Davos Seaworth and fought for Stannis in the Battle of the Blackwater.
#79 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
An orphan from King's Landing. He works at the Inn at the Crossroads as a baker.
#66 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
A bastard son of Robert Baratheon, although this fact is not widely known (even to Gendry himself). After being captured by Melisandre, he is freed by Ser Davos and escaped Dragonstone by rowboat. His whereabouts are currently unknown.
#47 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Totals 295 36 39 69 55 40 0 11 45 0

Roster

charId Character Special
18
Queen Regent of the Seven Kingdoms and mother to King Tommen.
* +1 special point every time she pours wine or requests a glass be poured
* +1 point when someone (excl. Jaime) references incest with Jaime or her childrens' bastardy directly to her
* 2x multiplier for sex acts involving incest (first cousin or closer)
32
The exiled head of House Mormont. Jorah was previously one of Daenerys' most trusted advisors, but was banished when his time serving as a spy for Robert Baratheon was revealed to her.
* +1 point when he explains to someone he has Greyscale
* +1 point in each scene that Jorah serves as an encyclopedia for Essos culture.
* +1 point each time Daenerys convinces him to go on a mission / do something that doesn't involve being anywhere around her (friendzone)
40
A steward of the Night's Watch. He is a close friend to Jon Snow, and one of the few people known to have killed a White Walker.
+1 point for reading books, mentioning he "read that in a book", or writing raven letters.
27
A squire who serves Tyrion Lannister.
+1 point for failed attempts at basic tasks.
+1 point for surprising people with how good he is at a task
68
A daughter of Craster, a wildling who lived in a fortified compound north of the Wall. She and her baby escaped to Castle Black with Samwell Tarly.
+1 each time she talks about something new she has learned
80
A bastard son of Robert Baratheon, although this fact is not widely known (even to Gendry himself). After being captured by Melisandre, he is freed by Ser Davos and escaped Dragonstone by rowboat. His whereabouts are currently unknown.
+1 point for each act of blacksmithing.
54
Stannis Baratheon's daughter and only child. She is afflicted with greyscale, a disease which has left her face scarred and cracked. She is close friends with Ser Davos Seaworth.
+1 point when she tutors someone on their reading/writing [new]
+1 point for making Stannis-style pendantic corrections like her dad [new]
+1 point every time she corrects Davos' spelling or grammar [removed under new scoring]
130
The apparent leader of the White Walkers.
* Actions of dragons while dragonriding
* Wights or White Walker versions of named chars are counted as followers (unless shown to be re-animated by someone else)
* Scenes of Winter arriving anywhere south of the Riverlands (inclusive)
* works of White Walker art
104
An orphan from King's Landing. He works at the Inn at the Crossroads as a baker.
+1 point for every baked good or other food he prepares
55
A Pirate Lord from the Lys, a free city of Essos. He is an old friend of Ser Davos Seaworth and fought for Stannis in the Battle of the Blackwater.
Kills
Episode 4: The Sons of the Harpy
In the middle of the night, Jorah knocks out a fisherman with a haymaker and steals his boat. (Major Injury of Unnamed Character)
Episode 5: Kill the Boy
Jorah stabs through one of the Stone Men with his sword. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Episode 7: The Gift
Jorah elbows Yezzan zo Qaggaz in the nose as he emerges into the fighting pit. (Minor Injury of Named Character)
Jorah enters the fighting pits and knocks out the remaining five fighters in hopes of winning Daenerys' favor. (Major Injury of Unnamed Character)
Episode 9: The Dance of Dragons
Jorah plunges a dagger into the heart of the long-axe-wielding pit fighter. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Jorah does a somersault and then stabs his sword through the stomach of the pit fighter, named as the "Meereenese Champion" earlier. (Kill of Named Character)
Jorah throws a spear into the gallery, killing a Son of the Harpy who had been sneaking up behind Daenerys. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Jorah kills a Son of the Harpy with his dagger as he makes his way over to help protect Daenerys. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Jorah stabs a Son of the Harpy who attempts to ambush Daenerys in the fighting pit escape tunnel. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Jorah cuts down two enemies as Daenerys' group becomes encircled by the Sons of the Harpy mob. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Jorah stabs through a Son of the Harpy in the fighting pit. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Political Wins
Episode 2: The House of Black and White
Podrick discovers Sansa in disguise with Petyr Baelish. "My Lady (Brienne)... Sansa Stark. Don't look! ... She's dyed her hair, but it's her." (Politics - uncategorized)
Cersei stacks the Small Council in her favor, appointing the loyal Mace Tyrell as Master of Coin and Qyburn as Master of Whisperers, over the protests of Grand Maester Pycelle and Kevan Lannister.
Grand Maester Pycelle: "Your Grace... him? This- this man (Qyburn)? This... embarrassment to the Citadel? ... what qualifications can he possibly have for this post?"
Cersei: "The qualification of loyalty, Grand Maester. That's far more than the eunuch ever had."
(Politics - uncategorized)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Sam stumps for Jon Snow as a candidate for Lord Commander of the Night's Watch, convincing many in the room. "He may be young, but he's the commander we turned to when the night was darkest." (Politics - uncategorized)
Episode 3: The High Sparrow
Jorah captures Tyrion in Volantis. "I'm taking you to the Queen." (Politics - uncategorized)
Episode 4: The Sons of the Harpy
Cersei betrays the Tyrells, exposing Ser Loras' homosexuality to the High Sparrow and causing him to be arrested. (Politics - uncategorized)
submitted by moonbaseu92 (approved!)
Samwell convinces Jon to sign a letter requesting recruits from Roose Bolton. "We swore to be the Watchers on the Wall. We can't watch the Wall with 50 men. And we can't get more men without help from the Warden of the North." (Politics - uncategorized)
Episode 6: Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken
Jorah convinces the slave trader Malko to take him to the fighting pits of Meereen instead of the slave city of Volantis.
Jorah: "I killed a Dothraki Bloodrider in single combat."
Malko: "Liar."
Jorah: "It's no lie. His name was Qotho. He was Bloodrider to Khal Drogo. Take me to Slaver's Bay, put a sword in my hand, I'll prove my worth."
(Politics - uncategorized)
Cersei's betrayal of the Tyrells is realized further, as her manipulation of the Faith's inquest lands both Ser Loras and Margaery Tyrell in prison after she assures Olenna Tyrell that the High Sparrow's inquest would be merely a formality. (Politics - uncategorized)
Episode 8: Hardhome
The White Walker King raises Karsi from the dead, re-animating her as a wight. (Politics - uncategorized)
The White Walker King and its horde of wights wins the Battle of Hardhome. (Politics - uncategorized)
The White Walker King captures the Wildling settlement of Hardhome. (Politics - uncategorized)
Episode 10: Mother's Mercy
Sam convinces Jon Snow to send him and Gilly to Oldtown so that Sam can train to be the next Maester for the Night's Watch. "If Gilly stays here, then she'll die. And the baby that she named after me will die. And I'll end up dying, too, trying to protect them. Which means that the last thing that I'll see in this world will be the look in her eyes when I fail them." (Politics - uncategorized)
Insults Delivered / Funny Lines
Episode 1: The Wars to Come
Cersei inherit's Tywin's family lecture abilities.
to Jaime: "Tyrion may be a monster, but at least he killed our father on purpose. You killed him by mistake, with stupidity."
(Witty Insult)
"How many Brothers can say that they've killed a White Walker *and* a Thenn? I might be the first in history!" (Funny Line)
Lancel: "I led you into the darkness."
Cersei: "I doubt you've ever led anyone anywhere."
(Witty Insult)
Episode 2: The House of Black and White
Brienne: "Ready the horses."
Podrick: "We only have one horse."
(Funny Line)
Jaime: "I'm going to make this better.
Cersei: "You've never made anything better."
(Witty Insult)
submitted by kas113 (approved!)
33:16 (+3) Gilly:
Samwell: "Did you know that the youngest Lord Commander in history, Osric Stark, was elected at the age of 10?"
Gilly: "I know 'S' ..."
(Funny Line)
"A wildling girl, a baby, and Lord Janos. I found him there (in the Castle Black pantry) after the battle was over, in a puddle of his own making." (Witty Insult)
Episode 3: The High Sparrow
Cersei with a jab to Margaery while talking to Tommen: "She's certainly very pretty, isn't she? Like a doll. She smiles quite a lot. Do you think she's intelligent? I can't quite tell, not that it matters." (Witty Insult)
submitted by wpearsal (approved!)
Episode 4: The Sons of the Harpy
After Cersei sends Lord Mace Tyrell away to Braavos to negotiate with the Iron Bank:
Grand Maester Pycelle "The small council getting smaller and smaller..."
Cersei "Not small enough."
(Threat)
submitted by wpearsal (approved!)
Shireen: "I like it (here at Castle Black). I thought I'd be left at home. I know mother didn't want to bring me."
Stannis: "Why'd you say that?"
Shireen: "She told me, 'I don't want to bring you.'"
(Funny Line)
Tyrion: "I can't sleep without wine."
Jorah: "Then stay awake."
(Funny Line)
submitted by wpearsal (approved!)
Episode 6: Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken
Petyr Baelish: "Surely your uncle Kevan could muster a force."
Cersei: "My uncle Kevan has all the courage of a kitchen mouse."
(Witty Insult)
to Olenna Tyrell: "Ah, yes. The famously tart-tongued Queen of Thorns." (Witty Insult)
Olenna Tyrell: "He understood that sometimes we must work with our rivals rather than destroy them."
Cersei: "House Lannister has no rival."
(Threat)
Episode 7: The Gift
Sam boasts about his command of the situation after he'd been beaten senseless by Brant and Derek of the Night's Watch.
Gilly: "I know they would've killed you if Ghost hadn't come."
Sam: "No no no, they were tiring out.  I had them in the palm of my hand"
(Funny Line)
submitted by wpearsal (approved!)
during his first sexual experience with Gilly: "Oh... oh... oh my..." (Funny Line)
submitted by wpearsal (approved!)
Cersei taunts Margaery in the dungeons: "This is horrible. Unacceptable. Are they feeding you enough at least? I brought you this. Venison. It's quite good. I had it myself for supper only last night." (Witty Insult)
to Septa Unella: "Look at me! Look at my face. It's the last thing you'll see before you die." (Threat)
Episode 8: Hardhome
to Septa Unella: "I can make sure you die in the most hideous way imaginable. And all I do is sit here imaginging hideous ways for you to die." (Threat)
Episode 10: Mother's Mercy
Jon Snow: "You know that the Citadel will make you swear off women, too."
Samwell: "Oh, they'll bloody try."
(Funny Line)
Tyrion: "Fine, fine. I suppose he can join us. Just as long as he promises not to kill me in my sleep."
Jorah: "If I ever kill you, your eyes will be wide open."
(Threat)
Glasses of Wine Consumed
Episode 1: The Wars to Come
Cersei drinks at the start of Tywin Lannister's wake, as she listens to Loras drone on about Tywin's "force to be reckoned with." (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Cersei's second glass of wine while listening to Lancel's attempt to convert her to religion. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Episode 2: The House of Black and White
Podrick drinks a mug of ale while he and Brienne stop at an inn. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Episode 3: The High Sparrow
Jorah drinks away his sorrows as he can't even get within the friendzone of the Daenerys cosplayer in Volantis. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Episode 6: Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken
Cersei drinks while talking with Lord Petyr Baelish. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Episode 8: Hardhome
Cersei slurps up the probably alcoholic liquid that Septa Unella spills on the dungeon floor. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Episode 10: Mother's Mercy
Jon and Sam toast to Sam's journey to Oldtown to become a Maester. "To your return." (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Acts of Intercourse
Episode 7: The Gift
26:24 (+5) Gilly:
Gilly sleeps with Samwell Tarly after she tends to his wounds. (Act of Intercourse)
Episode 10: Mother's Mercy
Cersei is stripped naked and washed by the septas in the dungeons of Baelor's Sept. (Act of Intercourse)
Cersei is stripped for her walk of atonement through the streets of King's Landing. (Act of Intercourse)
Deaths
Episode 9: The Dance of Dragons
Shireen is burned at the stake by the red priestess Melisandre, after her father Stannis agrees to sacrifice her for the supposed magic of her king's blood. (Death)
Episode 10: Mother's Mercy
+1 for Shireen Baratheon
Special
Episode 2: The House of Black and White
Podrick's fails to control his horse as it runs loose during the chase by Littlefinger's men. (Special)
Podrick loses control of his horse again, after it rears onto its hind legs and throws Podrick into the river. (Special)
Jaime talks to Cersei about Myrcella. "The world can't know she's our daughter." (Special)
Sam mentions a factoid from his book on the history of Lord Commanders of the Night's Watch. "Did you know that the youngest Lord Commander in history, Osric Stark, was elected at the age of 10?" (Special)
Episode 4: The Sons of the Harpy
Samwell prepares a set of raven letters to various Lords requesting recruits for the Night's Watch. (Special)
Episode 5: Kill the Boy
Samwell reads a raven letter to Maester Aemon, reporting on Daenery's current struggles as ruler of Meereen. (Special)
Sam reads in the library of Castle Black while talking to Gilly. (Special)
Jorah finishes Tyrion's recital of a poem describing the Doom of Valyria. "... a city of a thousand years, and all that men had learned; The Doom consumed it all alike, and neither of them turned." (Special)
Episode 6: Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken
Lord Baelish makes a sly reference to Cersei's incest.
Cersei: "I'm the insulted party, Lord Baelish. Ser Loras was promised to me, instead he chose the company of boys."
Petyr: "One's choice of companion is a most curious thing."
(Special)
Episode 10: Mother's Mercy
The High Septon confronts Cersei with the charges of her incest: "There are those that say your children were not fathered by King Robert, that they are bastards born of incest and adultery." (Special)
submitted by wpearsal (approved!)
Members of the crowd insult Cersei with references of her incest, as she performs her walk of atonement through the streets of King's Landing.
49:25: A man yells: "Bitch! Brother fucker!"
49:48: Indistinctly from the crowd: "Brother fucker!"
50:10: A man exposes himself and exclaims: "I'm a Lannister. Suck me off!"
50:51: A women yells on the stairs before being bludgeoned by a Sparrow: "Brother fucker!"
52:07: A man yells just before Cersei reaches the Red Keep's gates: "Brother fucker!"
(Special)
submitted by coconnor723 (approved!)