Bend it Like Podrick
House Hamilton Season 5
Owner: dsborczuk
9-0-1, 49.5 roto pts (#2)
Z-Score:
1.226 (percentile: 89%)
Weeks at #1: 9
Categories won:
Acts of Intercourse (40), Special (45)
Best Week:
Episode 10: Mother's Mercy
(+6.5 roto points)
Team MVP:
Cersei Lannister
(picked #2,
142 points,
48.14% of team total)
Longest winstreak: W-6
Roster Stats
Roster
charId | Character | Special |
---|---|---|
18 |
Cersei Lannister
Queen Regent of the Seven Kingdoms and mother to King Tommen.
|
* +1 special point every time she pours wine or requests a glass be poured * +1 point when someone (excl. Jaime) references incest with Jaime or her childrens' bastardy directly to her * 2x multiplier for sex acts involving incest (first cousin or closer) |
32 |
Jorah Mormont
The exiled head of House Mormont. Jorah was previously one of Daenerys' most trusted advisors, but was banished when his time serving as a spy for Robert Baratheon was revealed to her.
|
* +1 point when he explains to someone he has Greyscale * +1 point in each scene that Jorah serves as an encyclopedia for Essos culture. * +1 point each time Daenerys convinces him to go on a mission / do something that doesn't involve being anywhere around her (friendzone) |
40 |
Samwell Tarly
A steward of the Night's Watch. He is a close friend to Jon Snow, and one of the few people known to have killed a White Walker.
|
+1 point for reading books, mentioning he "read that in a book", or writing raven letters. |
27 |
Podrick Payne
A squire who serves Tyrion Lannister.
|
+1 point for failed attempts at basic tasks. +1 point for surprising people with how good he is at a task |
68 |
Gilly
A daughter of Craster, a wildling who lived in a fortified compound north of the Wall. She and her baby escaped to Castle Black with Samwell Tarly.
|
+1 each time she talks about something new she has learned |
80 |
Gendry
A bastard son of Robert Baratheon, although this fact is not widely known (even to Gendry himself). After being captured by Melisandre, he is freed by Ser Davos and escaped Dragonstone by rowboat. His whereabouts are currently unknown.
|
+1 point for each act of blacksmithing. |
54 |
Shireen Baratheon
Stannis Baratheon's daughter and only child. She is afflicted with greyscale, a disease which has left her face scarred and cracked. She is close friends with Ser Davos Seaworth.
|
+1 point when she tutors someone on their reading/writing [new] +1 point for making Stannis-style pendantic corrections like her dad [new] +1 point every time she corrects Davos' spelling or grammar [removed under new scoring] |
130 |
White Walker (Night King)
The apparent leader of the White Walkers.
|
* Actions of dragons while dragonriding * Wights or White Walker versions of named chars are counted as followers (unless shown to be re-animated by someone else) * Scenes of Winter arriving anywhere south of the Riverlands (inclusive) * works of White Walker art |
104 |
Hot Pie
An orphan from King's Landing. He works at the Inn at the Crossroads as a baker.
|
+1 point for every baked good or other food he prepares |
55 |
Salladhor Saan
A Pirate Lord from the Lys, a free city of Essos. He is an old friend of Ser Davos Seaworth and fought for Stannis in the Battle of the Blackwater.
|
Kills
2:10
(+1)
Jorah Mormont:
In the middle of the night, Jorah knocks out a fisherman with a haymaker and steals his boat.
(Major Injury of Unnamed Character)
52:09
(+2)
Jorah Mormont:
Jorah retrieves his sword and cuts down one of the Stone Men that leaps onto his boat.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
52:14
(+2)
Jorah Mormont:
Jorah stabs through one of the Stone Men with his sword.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
49:30
(+2)
Jorah Mormont:
Jorah elbows Yezzan zo Qaggaz in the nose as he emerges into the fighting pit.
(Minor Injury of Named Character)
49:34
(+5)
Jorah Mormont:
Jorah enters the fighting pits and knocks out the remaining five fighters in hopes of winning Daenerys' favor.
(Major Injury of Unnamed Character)
41:22
(+2)
Jorah Mormont:
Jorah plunges a dagger into the heart of the long-axe-wielding pit fighter.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
43:39
(+10)
Jorah Mormont:
Jorah does a somersault and then stabs his sword through the stomach of the pit fighter, named as the "Meereenese Champion" earlier.
(Kill of Named Character)
44:04
(+2)
Jorah Mormont:
Jorah throws a spear into the gallery, killing a Son of the Harpy who had been sneaking up behind Daenerys.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
45:13
(+2)
Jorah Mormont:
Jorah kills a Son of the Harpy with his dagger as he makes his way over to help protect Daenerys.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
46:02
(+2)
Jorah Mormont:
Jorah stabs a Son of the Harpy who attempts to ambush Daenerys in the fighting pit escape tunnel.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
47:08
(+4)
Jorah Mormont:
Jorah cuts down two enemies as Daenerys' group becomes encircled by the Sons of the Harpy mob.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
49:13
(+2)
Jorah Mormont:
Jorah stabs through a Son of the Harpy in the fighting pit.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
Political Wins
7:54
(+3)
Podrick Payne:
Podrick discovers Sansa in disguise with Petyr Baelish. "My Lady (Brienne)... Sansa Stark. Don't look! ... She's dyed her hair, but it's her."
(Politics - uncategorized)
31:17
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei stacks the Small Council in her favor, appointing the loyal Mace Tyrell as Master of Coin and Qyburn as Master of Whisperers, over the protests of Grand Maester Pycelle and Kevan Lannister.
Grand Maester Pycelle: "Your Grace... him? This- this man (Qyburn)? This... embarrassment to the Citadel? ... what qualifications can he possibly have for this post?"
Cersei: "The qualification of loyalty, Grand Maester. That's far more than the eunuch ever had." (Politics - uncategorized)
Grand Maester Pycelle: "Your Grace... him? This- this man (Qyburn)? This... embarrassment to the Citadel? ... what qualifications can he possibly have for this post?"
Cersei: "The qualification of loyalty, Grand Maester. That's far more than the eunuch ever had." (Politics - uncategorized)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
40:56
(+3)
Samwell Tarly:
Sam stumps for Jon Snow as a candidate for Lord Commander of the Night's Watch, convincing many in the room. "He may be young, but he's the commander we turned to when the night was darkest."
(Politics - uncategorized)
46:18
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei has the High Septon imprisoned. "The High Septon's behavior was corrosive, as was his attitude. Having a man like that reside in the Sept eats away the Faith from the inside. So now he resides in the Red Keep's dungeons instead."
(Politics - uncategorized)
59:50
(+3)
Jorah Mormont:
Jorah captures Tyrion in Volantis. "I'm taking you to the Queen."
(Politics - uncategorized)
13:00
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei betrays the Tyrells, exposing Ser Loras' homosexuality to the High Sparrow and causing him to be arrested.
(Politics - uncategorized)
submitted by moonbaseu92 (approved!)
18:03
(+3)
Samwell Tarly:
Samwell convinces Jon to sign a letter requesting recruits from Roose Bolton. "We swore to be the Watchers on the Wall. We can't watch the Wall with 50 men. And we can't get more men without help from the Warden of the North."
(Politics - uncategorized)
23:08
(+3)
Jorah Mormont:
Jorah convinces the slave trader Malko to take him to the fighting pits of Meereen instead of the slave city of Volantis.
Jorah: "I killed a Dothraki Bloodrider in single combat."
Malko: "Liar."
Jorah: "It's no lie. His name was Qotho. He was Bloodrider to Khal Drogo. Take me to Slaver's Bay, put a sword in my hand, I'll prove my worth." (Politics - uncategorized)
Jorah: "I killed a Dothraki Bloodrider in single combat."
Malko: "Liar."
Jorah: "It's no lie. His name was Qotho. He was Bloodrider to Khal Drogo. Take me to Slaver's Bay, put a sword in my hand, I'll prove my worth." (Politics - uncategorized)
43:05
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei's betrayal of the Tyrells is realized further, as her manipulation of the Faith's inquest lands both Ser Loras and Margaery Tyrell in prison after she assures Olenna Tyrell that the High Sparrow's inquest would be merely a formality.
(Politics - uncategorized)
The White Walker King raises Karsi from the dead, re-animating her as a wight.
(Politics - uncategorized)
The White Walker King and its horde of wights wins the Battle of Hardhome.
(Politics - uncategorized)
The White Walker King captures the Wildling settlement of Hardhome.
(Politics - uncategorized)
7:35
(+3)
Samwell Tarly:
Sam convinces Jon Snow to send him and Gilly to Oldtown so that Sam can train to be the next Maester for the Night's Watch. "If Gilly stays here, then she'll die. And the baby that she named after me will die. And I'll end up dying, too, trying to protect them. Which means that the last thing that I'll see in this world will be the look in her eyes when I fail them."
(Politics - uncategorized)
Insults Delivered / Funny Lines
9:50
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
to the fortune teller, Maggy: "Tell me my future, or I'll have your two boring eyes gouged out of your head."
(Threat)
10:34
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei inherit's Tywin's family lecture abilities.
to Jaime: "Tyrion may be a monster, but at least he killed our father on purpose. You killed him by mistake, with stupidity." (Witty Insult)
to Jaime: "Tyrion may be a monster, but at least he killed our father on purpose. You killed him by mistake, with stupidity." (Witty Insult)
20:54
(+3)
Samwell Tarly:
"How many Brothers can say that they've killed a White Walker *and* a Thenn? I might be the first in history!"
(Funny Line)
30:51
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Lancel: "I led you into the darkness."
Cersei: "I doubt you've ever led anyone anywhere." (Witty Insult)
Cersei: "I doubt you've ever led anyone anywhere." (Witty Insult)
8:13
(+3)
Podrick Payne:
Brienne: "Ready the horses."
Podrick: "We only have one horse." (Funny Line)
Podrick: "We only have one horse." (Funny Line)
16:01
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Jaime: "I'm going to make this better.
Cersei: "You've never made anything better." (Witty Insult)
Cersei: "You've never made anything better." (Witty Insult)
submitted by kas113 (approved!)
Samwell: "Did you know that the youngest Lord Commander in history, Osric Stark, was elected at the age of 10?"
Gilly: "I know 'S' ..." (Funny Line)
Gilly: "I know 'S' ..." (Funny Line)
40:42
(+3)
Samwell Tarly:
"A wildling girl, a baby, and Lord Janos. I found him there (in the Castle Black pantry) after the battle was over, in a puddle of his own making."
(Witty Insult)
9:33
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei with a jab to Margaery while talking to Tommen: "She's certainly very pretty, isn't she? Like a doll. She smiles quite a lot. Do you think she's intelligent? I can't quite tell, not that it matters."
(Witty Insult)
submitted by wpearsal (approved!)
7:11
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
After Cersei sends Lord Mace Tyrell away to Braavos to negotiate with the Iron Bank:
Grand Maester Pycelle "The small council getting smaller and smaller..."
Cersei "Not small enough." (Threat)
Grand Maester Pycelle "The small council getting smaller and smaller..."
Cersei "Not small enough." (Threat)
submitted by wpearsal (approved!)
22:28
(+3)
Shireen Baratheon:
Shireen: "I like it (here at Castle Black). I thought I'd be left at home. I know mother didn't want to bring me."
Stannis: "Why'd you say that?"
Shireen: "She told me, 'I don't want to bring you.'" (Funny Line)
Stannis: "Why'd you say that?"
Shireen: "She told me, 'I don't want to bring you.'" (Funny Line)
39:49
(+3)
Jorah Mormont:
Tyrion: "I can't sleep without wine."
Jorah: "Then stay awake." (Funny Line)
Jorah: "Then stay awake." (Funny Line)
submitted by wpearsal (approved!)
27:45
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Petyr Baelish: "Surely your uncle Kevan could muster a force."
Cersei: "My uncle Kevan has all the courage of a kitchen mouse." (Witty Insult)
Cersei: "My uncle Kevan has all the courage of a kitchen mouse." (Witty Insult)
36:37
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
to Olenna Tyrell: "Ah, yes. The famously tart-tongued Queen of Thorns."
(Witty Insult)
37:53
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Olenna Tyrell: "He understood that sometimes we must work with our rivals rather than destroy them."
Cersei: "House Lannister has no rival." (Threat)
Cersei: "House Lannister has no rival." (Threat)
23:05
(+3)
Samwell Tarly:
to Brant and Derek, who are assaulting Gilly: "I killed a White Walker. I killed a Thenn. I'll take my chances with you."
(Threat)
24:11
(+3)
Samwell Tarly:
Sam boasts about his command of the situation after he'd been beaten senseless by Brant and Derek of the Night's Watch.
Gilly: "I know they would've killed you if Ghost hadn't come."
Sam: "No no no, they were tiring out. I had them in the palm of my hand" (Funny Line)
Gilly: "I know they would've killed you if Ghost hadn't come."
Sam: "No no no, they were tiring out. I had them in the palm of my hand" (Funny Line)
submitted by wpearsal (approved!)
25:31
(+3)
Samwell Tarly:
during his first sexual experience with Gilly: "Oh... oh... oh my..."
(Funny Line)
submitted by wpearsal (approved!)
52:01
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei taunts Margaery in the dungeons: "This is horrible. Unacceptable. Are they feeding you enough at least? I brought you this. Venison. It's quite good. I had it myself for supper only last night."
(Witty Insult)
58:48
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
to Septa Unella: "Look at me! Look at my face. It's the last thing you'll see before you die."
(Threat)
26:22
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
to Septa Unella: "I can make sure you die in the most hideous way imaginable. And all I do is sit here imaginging hideous ways for you to die."
(Threat)
7:46
(+3)
Samwell Tarly:
Jon Snow: "You know that the Citadel will make you swear off women, too."
Samwell: "Oh, they'll bloody try." (Funny Line)
Samwell: "Oh, they'll bloody try." (Funny Line)
33:05
(+3)
Jorah Mormont:
Tyrion: "Fine, fine. I suppose he can join us. Just as long as he promises not to kill me in my sleep."
Jorah: "If I ever kill you, your eyes will be wide open." (Threat)
Jorah: "If I ever kill you, your eyes will be wide open." (Threat)
Glasses of Wine Consumed
28:54
(+10)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei drinks at the start of Tywin Lannister's wake, as she listens to Loras drone on about Tywin's "force to be reckoned with."
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
31:50
(+10)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei's second glass of wine while listening to Lancel's attempt to convert her to religion.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
7:38
(+5)
Podrick Payne:
Podrick drinks a mug of ale while he and Brienne stop at an inn.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
55:55
(+5)
Jorah Mormont:
Jorah drinks away his sorrows as he can't even get within the friendzone of the Daenerys cosplayer in Volantis.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
26:24
(+10)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei drinks while talking with Lord Petyr Baelish.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
26:57
(+10)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei slurps up the probably alcoholic liquid that Septa Unella spills on the dungeon floor.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
8:23
(+5)
Samwell Tarly:
Jon and Sam toast to Sam's journey to Oldtown to become a Maester. "To your return."
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
Acts of Intercourse
26:24
(+5)
Samwell Tarly:
Samwell breaks his vows and lays with Gilly after he get injured. "Oh... oh... oh my."
(Act of Intercourse)
Gilly sleeps with Samwell Tarly after she tends to his wounds.
(Act of Intercourse)
38:04
(+15)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei is stripped naked and washed by the septas in the dungeons of Baelor's Sept.
(Act of Intercourse)
45:00
(+15)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei is stripped for her walk of atonement through the streets of King's Landing.
(Act of Intercourse)
Deaths
33:57
(+10)
Shireen Baratheon:
Shireen is burned at the stake by the red priestess Melisandre, after her father Stannis agrees to sacrifice her for the supposed magic of her king's blood.
(Death)
+1 for Shireen Baratheon
Special
12:07
(+3)
Podrick Payne:
Podrick's fails to control his horse as it runs loose during the chase by Littlefinger's men.
(Special)
13:01
(+3)
Podrick Payne:
Podrick loses control of his horse again, after it rears onto its hind legs and throws Podrick into the river.
(Special)
15:28
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Jaime talks to Cersei about Myrcella. "The world can't know she's our daughter."
(Special)
33:16
(+3)
Samwell Tarly:
Sam mentions a factoid from his book on the history of Lord Commanders of the Night's Watch. "Did you know that the youngest Lord Commander in history, Osric Stark, was elected at the age of 10?"
(Special)
17:20
(+3)
Samwell Tarly:
Samwell prepares a set of raven letters to various Lords requesting recruits for the Night's Watch.
(Special)
6:55
(+3)
Samwell Tarly:
Samwell reads a raven letter to Maester Aemon, reporting on Daenery's current struggles as ruler of Meereen.
(Special)
35:13
(+3)
Samwell Tarly:
Sam reads in the library of Castle Black while talking to Gilly.
(Special)
50:12
(+3)
Jorah Mormont:
Jorah finishes Tyrion's recital of a poem describing the Doom of Valyria. "... a city of a thousand years, and all that men had learned; The Doom consumed it all alike, and neither of them turned."
(Special)
25:16
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Lord Baelish makes a sly reference to Cersei's incest.
Cersei: "I'm the insulted party, Lord Baelish. Ser Loras was promised to me, instead he chose the company of boys."
Petyr: "One's choice of companion is a most curious thing." (Special)
Cersei: "I'm the insulted party, Lord Baelish. Ser Loras was promised to me, instead he chose the company of boys."
Petyr: "One's choice of companion is a most curious thing." (Special)
0:00
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
The High Septon confronts Cersei with the charges of her incest: "There are those that say your children were not fathered by King Robert, that they are bastards born of incest and adultery."
(Special)
submitted by wpearsal (approved!)
49:25
(+15)
Cersei Lannister:
Members of the crowd insult Cersei with references of her incest, as she performs her walk of atonement through the streets of King's Landing.
49:25: A man yells: "Bitch! Brother fucker!"
49:48: Indistinctly from the crowd: "Brother fucker!"
50:10: A man exposes himself and exclaims: "I'm a Lannister. Suck me off!"
50:51: A women yells on the stairs before being bludgeoned by a Sparrow: "Brother fucker!"
52:07: A man yells just before Cersei reaches the Red Keep's gates: "Brother fucker!" (Special)
49:25: A man yells: "Bitch! Brother fucker!"
49:48: Indistinctly from the crowd: "Brother fucker!"
50:10: A man exposes himself and exclaims: "I'm a Lannister. Suck me off!"
50:51: A women yells on the stairs before being bludgeoned by a Sparrow: "Brother fucker!"
52:07: A man yells just before Cersei reaches the Red Keep's gates: "Brother fucker!" (Special)
submitted by coconnor723 (approved!)