Crows Before Hoes
Dragon Titties
Owner: kcharlesmeeker
4-2, 64.5 roto pts (#10)
Z-Score:
-0.201 (percentile: 42.02%)
Weeks at #1: 1
Categories won:
Best Week:
Episode 1: Winterfell
(+23 roto points)
Team MVP:
Samwell Tarly
(picked #8,
74 points,
49.33% of team total)
Longest winstreak: W-2
Roster Stats
Roster
| charId | Character | Special |
|---|---|---|
| 40 |
Samwell Tarly
|
+1 point for reading books, mentioning he "read that in a book", or writing raven letters. |
| 23 |
Bronn
|
+1 point when he gives expert critique/advice on fighting strategy |
| 68 |
Gilly
|
+1 each time she talks about something new she has learned |
| 395 |
Full-bearded White Walkers
This White Walker has a full beard and long hair. He is one of the Night King's Lieutenants.
|
|
| 176 |
Quaithe
|
|
| 209 |
Karsi
|
|
| 10 |
Hodor
|
+1 point for every utterance of "Hodor" |
| 156 |
Timett
|
Kills
19:27
(+4)
Samwell Tarly:
Sam defends himself against two wights with his dragonglass daggers.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
37:28
(+2)
Samwell Tarly:
Sam dual wields his dragonglass dagger to cut down a wight trying to scramble over the wall.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
38:31
(+2)
Samwell Tarly:
Sam bonks a wight in the head as it tries to climb the castle wall.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
64:38
(+2)
Samwell Tarly:
Samwell stabs a wight as he lays on his back amidst a pit of wights.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
Political Wins
Qyburn gifts Bronn the crossbow used by Tyrion to murder Tywin Lannister, as Bronn is sent on a mission to assassinate the Lannister brothers.
(New Weapon)
Gilly convinces a young Northern girl to stay safe in the crypts during the upcoming battle.
Gilly: "I'm going to be in the crypt with my son, and I'd feel a lot better with you there to protect us."
Little Northern girl: "Alright, I'll defend the crypt then." (Convincing Argument)
Gilly: "I'm going to be in the crypt with my son, and I'd feel a lot better with you there to protect us."
Little Northern girl: "Alright, I'll defend the crypt then." (Convincing Argument)
Bronn is revealed as Lord of Highgarden and Master of Coin at the Small Council meeting.
Tyrion: "Ser Bronn of the Blackwater, Lord of Highgarden, Lord Paramount of the Reach and Master of Coin, would you say the crown's debt to you has been paid?"
Bronn: "In full, my Lord Hand." (New Title)
Tyrion: "Ser Bronn of the Blackwater, Lord of Highgarden, Lord Paramount of the Reach and Master of Coin, would you say the crown's debt to you has been paid?"
Bronn: "In full, my Lord Hand." (New Title)
70:32
(+3)
Samwell Tarly:
Samwell Tarly is named Grandmaester of King Bran's new Small Council.
(New Title)
Insults Delivered / Funny Lines
as Qyburn gifts him the crossbow used by Tyrion to kill Tywin Lannister
Qyburn: "She (Cersei) has a keen sense of poetic justice."
Bronn: "That fucking family..." (Funny Line)
Qyburn: "She (Cersei) has a keen sense of poetic justice."
Bronn: "That fucking family..." (Funny Line)
41:22
(+3)
Samwell Tarly:
Daenerys: "So you're the man."
Sam: "Um... which... man? am I... your Grace?" (Funny Line)
Sam: "Um... which... man? am I... your Grace?" (Funny Line)
33:40
(+3)
Samwell Tarly:
Sam defends his renowned fighting abilities
Jon Snow: "If you want to join them (Gilly and little Sam in the crypts)..."
Sam: "Everyone seems to forget that I was the first man to kill a White Walker. I've killed Thenns-"
Edd: "Thenn."
Sam: "I've saved Gilly more than once. I stole a *considerable* number of books from the Citadel library. Survived the Fist of the First Men. You need me out there!"
Edd: "Well if that's where it's come to we really are fucked." (Funny Line)
Jon Snow: "If you want to join them (Gilly and little Sam in the crypts)..."
Sam: "Everyone seems to forget that I was the first man to kill a White Walker. I've killed Thenns-"
Edd: "Thenn."
Sam: "I've saved Gilly more than once. I stole a *considerable* number of books from the Citadel library. Survived the Fist of the First Men. You need me out there!"
Edd: "Well if that's where it's come to we really are fucked." (Funny Line)
34:03
(+3)
Samwell Tarly:
Edd: "Well if that's where it's come to we really are fucked."
Sam: "Well- calling you fucked wouldn't be strictly accurate." (Witty Insult)
Sam: "Well- calling you fucked wouldn't be strictly accurate." (Witty Insult)
Bronn comments after hearing of Jaime's relationship with Brienne.
"I knew you were fucking her. A pair of tall, blond toffs. Must be like looking in the mirror." (Witty Insult)
"I knew you were fucking her. A pair of tall, blond toffs. Must be like looking in the mirror." (Witty Insult)
Tyrion: "You're a knight, thanks to me."
Bronn: "Thanks to me. And that title's worth as much as a blond hair from your brother's ballsack." (Witty Insult)
Bronn: "Thanks to me. And that title's worth as much as a blond hair from your brother's ballsack." (Witty Insult)
Tyrion: "You broke my nose!"
Bronn: "I did not break your nose."
Tyrion: "How do you know?"
Bronn: "Because I've been breaking noses since I was your size, and I know what it sounds like." (Funny Line)
Bronn: "I did not break your nose."
Tyrion: "How do you know?"
Bronn: "Because I've been breaking noses since I was your size, and I know what it sounds like." (Funny Line)
Tyrion: "May I speak?
Bronn: "Why not? Only death will shut you up." (Witty Insult)
Bronn: "Why not? Only death will shut you up." (Witty Insult)
Jaime: "Highgarden will never belong to a cutthroat."
Bronn: "Who were your ancestors, the ones who made your family rich? Fancy lads in silk? They were fucking cutthroats.
That's how all the great houses started, isn't it? With a hard bastard who was good at killing people. Kill a few hundred people, they make you a lord. Kill a few thousand, they make you king. And then all your cocksucking grandsons can ruin the family with their cocksucking ways." (Funny Line)
Bronn: "Who were your ancestors, the ones who made your family rich? Fancy lads in silk? They were fucking cutthroats.
That's how all the great houses started, isn't it? With a hard bastard who was good at killing people. Kill a few hundred people, they make you a lord. Kill a few thousand, they make you king. And then all your cocksucking grandsons can ruin the family with their cocksucking ways." (Funny Line)
to Jon, as Samwell blathers on about how Gilly got pregnant: "I'm sure he knows how it happens, Sam."
(Funny Line)
submitted by jmccreight (approved!)
Bronn: "The Master of Coin looks forward to helping the Master of Ships, but first he has to ensure we're not wasting coin, or soon there won't be no more coin."
Davos: "Any more."
Bronn: "You Master of Grammar now too?" (Witty Insult)
Davos: "Any more."
Bronn: "You Master of Grammar now too?" (Witty Insult)
Bronn: "Oh, speaking of builders, all the best brothels burned down. The Master of Coin is willing to fund reconstruction."
(Funny Line)
Glasses of Wine Consumed
Acts of Intercourse
A Game of Thrones
Bronn sits down to get dressed and put his boots on after Qyburn interrupts his session with Marei and the other whores.
(Basic Seat)
41:17
(+1)
Samwell Tarly:
Sam scoots out of his library seat as he is startled by Daenerys and Jorah.
(Basic Seat)
Bronn takes a seat with his hostages as he negotiates with Tyrion and Jaime at crossbow-point.
(Basic Seat)
48:01
(+1)
Samwell Tarly:
Sam sits and looks away awkwardly as Edmure Tully glances around the room for support.
(Basic Seat)
49:12
(+1)
Samwell Tarly:
Samwell sits back down as his proposal for a democracy is roundly rejected by the Lords and Ladies of Westeros.
(Basic Seat)
55:11
(+1)
Samwell Tarly:
Samwell sits back down after the Lords rise to anoint Bran as King of Six Kingdoms.
(Basic Seat)
Bronn is seated at the Small Council meeting as Tyrion reviews Archmaester Ebrose's historical tome, "A Song of Ice and Fire"
(Basic Seat)
67:41
(+1)
Samwell Tarly:
Sam sits down at the Small Council meeting as Tyrion flips through the history tome of "A Song of Ice and Fire"
(Basic Seat)
Bronn reseats himself after Bran arrives at the Small Council meeting.
(Basic Seat)
68:43
(+1)
Samwell Tarly:
Samwell reseats himself at the Small Council meeting after King Bran's arrival.
(Basic Seat)
Bronn reseats himself at the Small Council meeting after King Bran's departure.
(Basic Seat)
69:49
(+1)
Samwell Tarly:
Samwell reseats himself at the Small Council meeting after King Bran's departure.
(Basic Seat)
Deaths
The White Walker lieutenants explode into ice shards in a chain effect after the Night King falls to Arya's stab.
(Death)
Special
41:17
(+3)
Samwell Tarly:
Sam is reading a book in the Winterfell library as Daenerys and Jorah walk in.
(Special)
46:31
(+3)
Samwell Tarly:
Sam mentions the book he found out Jon's lineage from: "Bran and I worked it out. I have a High Septon's diary, and Bran has... whatever Bran has."
(Special)
submitted by dtsantise (approved!)
49:21
(+3)
Samwell Tarly:
Samwell explains the birds and the bees to Jon.
Samwell: "There's only so many books a person can read, so we-"
Gilly: "I'm sure he knows how it happens, Sam." (Special)
Samwell: "There's only so many books a person can read, so we-"
Gilly: "I'm sure he knows how it happens, Sam." (Special)
67:22
(+3)
Samwell Tarly:
Samwell places the tome, "A Song of Ice and Fire" in front of Tyrion at the Small Council meeting.
Tyrion: "What's this?"
Samwell: " A Song of Ice and Fire. Archmaester Ebrose's history of the wars following the death of King Robert. I helped him with the title." (Special)
Tyrion: "What's this?"
Samwell: " A Song of Ice and Fire. Archmaester Ebrose's history of the wars following the death of King Robert. I helped him with the title." (Special)
The Feels
42:22
(+15)
Samwell Tarly:
Sam hears the news of the deaths of his father Randyll and brother Dickon from the executioner herself.
Daenerys: "I offered to let him retain his lands and titles if he bent the knee. He refused."
Samwell: "Well at least I'll be allowed home again, now that my brother's the lord."
Daenerys: "Your brother stood with your father." (Sad Feels)
Daenerys: "I offered to let him retain his lands and titles if he bent the knee. He refused."
Samwell: "Well at least I'll be allowed home again, now that my brother's the lord."
Daenerys: "Your brother stood with your father." (Sad Feels)
34:25
(+5)
Samwell Tarly:
The three remaining Night's Watch members share some banter and reflect on their beginnings.
Samwell: "Think back to where we started. Us, Grenn, Pyp."
Jon: "Now it's just us three."
Edd: "Last man left, burn the rest of us." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
Samwell: "Think back to where we started. Us, Grenn, Pyp."
Jon: "Now it's just us three."
Edd: "Last man left, burn the rest of us." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
50:17
(+5)
Samwell Tarly:
Jorah receives Heartsbane, the Tarly family sword from Samwell, as a remembrance to his father, the Lord Commander Jeor Mormont.
Samwell: "And I'd love to defend them with it. But I can't really hold it upright. Your father, he taught me how to be a man. How to do what's right. This is right." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
Samwell: "And I'd love to defend them with it. But I can't really hold it upright. Your father, he taught me how to be a man. How to do what's right. This is right." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
49:52
(+5)
Samwell Tarly:
Jon and Sam say their goodbyes at Winterfell.
Sam: "You're the best friend I ever had."
Jon: "You too, Sam." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
Sam: "You're the best friend I ever had."
Jon: "You too, Sam." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
Bronn drags one of Tyrion's carefully arranged Small Council chairs to the Hand's exasperation.
(Ridiculously Funny Moment)
68:02
(+3)
Samwell Tarly:
Tyrion inquires about how history regards him in the Archmaester Ebrose's new historical tome, "A Song of Ice and Fire" - but is told by Samwell Tarly that he isn't actually mentioned in it.
(Ridiculously Funny Moment)