Matchup: Real Housewenches of the Seven Kingdoms vs Bend it Like Podrick for Ep 1

House Hamilton Season 5

Real Housewenches of the Seven Kingdoms (autouser)

Character	Drafted	Total	Kills	Politics	Insults	Wine	Sex	Thrones	Deaths	Special	Feels
Margaery Tyrell The daughter of Mace Tyrell, head of House Tyrell. Betrothed to King Tommen, she is the queen-to-be and active in the politics of King's Landing.	#10	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
Fat Walda Frey One of Walder Frey's daughters - she is married to Roose Bolton.	#55	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
Maggy A fortune teller who lives in Lannisport.	#58	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
Myranda A servant of Ramsay Bolton.	#42	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
Obara Sand One of Prince Oberyn Martell's bastard children, known as the Sand Snakes.	#39	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
Walder Frey The elderly Lord of the Twins and now Lord of Riverrun after his betrayal of Robb Stark and the Northern forces.	#74	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
Nymeria Sand One of Oberyn Martell's bastards, known as Sand Snakes.	#26	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
Lollys Stokeworth The second daughter of House Stokeworth. She is betrothed to Bronn via an arrangement by Cersei Lannister, to convince him from fighting for Tyrion Lannister in his trial by combat.	#71	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
Melisandre A Red Priestess from Asshai, she is a close advisor to Stannis.	#7	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
Ellaria Sand The former paramour of Prince Oberyn. She is also the mother of several of his bastard children, known as the Sand Snakes.	#23	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
Totals		0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0

Bend it Like Podrick (dsborczuk)

Character	Drafted	Total	Insults	Wine
Cersei Lannister Queen Regent of the Seven Kingdoms and mother to King Tommen.	#2	29	9	20
Samwell Tarly A steward of the Night's Watch. He is a close friend to Jon Snow, and one of the few people known to have killed a White Walker.	#18	3	3	0
Shireen Baratheon Stannis Baratheon's daughter and only child. She is afflicted with greyscale, a disease which has left her face scarred and cracked. She is close friends with Ser Davos Seaworth.	#50	0	0	0
Gilly A daughter of Craster, a wildling who lived in a fortified compound north of the Wall. She and her baby escaped to Castle Black with Samwell Tarly.	#34	0	0	0
Podrick Payne A squire who serves Tyrion Lannister.	#31	0	0	0
Hot Pie An orphan from King's Landing. He works at the Inn at the Crossroads as a baker.	#66	0	0	0
White Walker (Night King) The apparent leader of the White Walkers.	#63	0	0	0
Jorah Mormont The exiled head of House Mormont. Jorah was previously one of Daenerys' most trusted advisors, but was banished when his time serving as a spy for Robert Baratheon was revealed to her.	#15	0	0	0
Salladhor Saan A Pirate Lord from the Lys, a free city of Essos. He is an old friend of Ser Davos Seaworth and fought for Stannis in the Battle of the Blackwater.	#79	0	0	0
Gendry A bastard son of Robert Baratheon, although this fact is not widely known (even to Gendry himself). After being captured by Melisandre, he is freed by Ser Davos and escaped Dragonstone by rowboat. His whereabouts are currently unknown.	#47	0	0	0
Totals		32	12	20

Insults Delivered / Funny Lines

9:50 (+3) Cersei Lannister:

to the fortune teller, Maggy: "Tell me my future, or I'll have your two boring eyes gouged out of your head." (Threat)

10:34 (+3) Cersei Lannister:

Cersei inherit's Tywin's family lecture abilities.
to Jaime: "Tyrion may be a monster, but at least he killed our father on purpose. You killed him by mistake, with stupidity." (Witty Insult)

20:54 (+3) Samwell Tarly:

"How many Brothers can say that they've killed a White Walker *and* a Thenn? I might be the first in history!" (Funny Line)

This isn't an insult and I don't find it funny. Out of context, it's not funny, and in context, it shows Sam's laziness, where Gilly is in fairly constant danger, surrounded by men who hate her, but Sam doesn't want to train because he had a few lucky moments beyond the wall.

Is this category purely "made the scorekeeper laugh"? Gilly certainly didn't find it funny and it wasn't delivered as though it was humor. -alicehanners

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2015 Apr 19
I thought it was clearly meant to be humor. I think it was a "funny", although I didn't find it laugh out loud funny either. Also I don't think running a "is it funny out of context" test is very useful for judging something's funni'ness. Generally isn't comedy mostly about context? -moonbaseu92

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2015 Apr 20
I meant that it was LESS fun in context, but wasn't even funny out of context.

I don't know how you can think it's humor. It's Sam trying to puff up for Gilly as an excuse for why he isn't training. -alicehanners

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2015 Apr 20
It might be seen as delivered as humor if Sam was using it to jokingly poke fun at how useless he is otherwise (hey, remember those two times I ended up doing something right??), but you can tell he's genuinely proud of himself and thinks he can protect Gilly because of this.

Don't get me wrong, I'm a big fan of Sam, but this moment was sad and I felt bad for Gilly. Not humor at all. -alicehanners

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2015 Apr 20
The "context" for humor is that of the viewer - many jokes won't be funny at all to any characters in-universe, but the humor is meant for those *watching* the show. In this case, Sam isn't telling a joke and Gilly isn't perceiving it as a joke. But the viewer obviously sees through Samwell's weak attempt at a brag for what it is, and Samwell's vanity is the joke here. I agree that it's not the greatest laugh-out-loud moment in the show, but enough people wrote in suggesting this one that we added it. -nyan

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2015 Apr 21

30:51 (+3) Cersei Lannister:

Lancel: "I led you into the darkness."
Cersei: "I doubt you've ever led anyone anywhere." (Witty Insult)

Glasses of Wine Consumed

28:54 (+10) Cersei Lannister:

Cersei drinks at the start of Tywin Lannister's wake, as she listens to Loras drone on about Tywin's "force to be reckoned with." (Glass of Wine Consumed)

31:50 (+10) Cersei Lannister:

Cersei's second glass of wine while listening to Lancel's attempt to convert her to religion. (Glass of Wine Consumed)

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