Matchup: The Couch Volcanoes vs Theon Gayjoy for Ep 1

Ness

Character Drafted Total Kills Politics Insults Wine Sex Thrones Deaths Special Feels
#27 15 4 6 0 0 0 0 0 0 5
#6 10 0 0 9 0 0 1 0 0 0
#22 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
#11 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
#59 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
#43 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
#38 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
#54 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Totals 25 4 6 9 0 0 1 0 0 5

Character Drafted Total Kills Politics Insults Wine Sex Thrones Deaths Special Feels
#21 17 0 3 3 5 5 1 0 0 0
#12 17 0 3 0 0 0 5 0 9 0
#37 13 10 0 0 0 0 0 0 3 0
#5 3 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 3
#44 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
#60 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
#28 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
#53 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Totals 50 10 6 3 5 5 6 0 12 3

Kills
Theon kills a member of Euron's crew as he leads a squad of Ironborn on a rescue mission to save his sister Yara Greyjoy. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
submitted by kevinreading66 (approved!)
Theon throws an axe into the skull of the Ironborn soldier guarding Yara Greyjoy. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
As the wight version of Ned Umber reawakens on the wall of the keep, Beric stabs the wight with his burning sword, lighting the body on fire and disposing of the wight for good. (Kill of Named Character)
Political Wins
24:47 (+3) Bronn:
Qyburn gifts Bronn the crossbow used by Tyrion to murder Tywin Lannister, as Bronn is sent on a mission to assassinate the Lannister brothers. (New Weapon)
After sneaking aboard Euron's ship, Theon frees his sister Yara. (New Follower/Prisoner)
Yara: "You want to go to Wintefell. To fight for the Starks. Go. What is dead may never die."
Theon: "What is dead may never die."
(House Words)
Despite his attempts to travel anonymously, Bran is there to greet Jaime Lannister as he arrives in Winterfell - the "old friend" Bran has been waiting for. (Secret Discovery)
Insults Delivered / Funny Lines
to Varys as they arrive in a frigid Winterfell: "You should consider yourself lucky. At least your balls won't freeze off." (Funny Line)
24:47 (+3) Bronn:
as Qyburn gifts him the crossbow used by Tyrion to kill Tywin Lannister
Qyburn: "She (Cersei) has a keen sense of poetic justice."
Bronn: "That fucking family..."
(Funny Line)
Varys (observing banners): "The Karstarks."
Tyrion: "One of the better sigils. Beats an onion, anyway."
(Funny Line)
Varys: "Jon and Daenerys don't want to listen to lonely old men."
Tyrion: "I'm not that old... not as old as him (Davos Seaworth)."
(Funny Line)
Glasses of Wine Consumed
23:51 (+5) Bronn:
Bronn drinks a glass after being interrupted by Qyburn. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Acts of Intercourse
22:58 (+5) Bronn:
Bronn gets started with one of the trio of whores in his chambers, but is interrupted by Qyburn before he can complete the triple-bird score. (Act of Intercourse)
A Game of Thrones
Bran sits in his wheelchair as he waits for Jon Snow and his entourage to arrive back to Winterfell. (Basic Seat)
Tyrion sits at the head table to the side of Sansa and Jon Snow, as they host the Northern Lords at Winterfell. (Basic Seat)
Bran sits in his wheelchair at the back corner of the court at Winterfell. (Basic Seat)
Bran sits in his wheelchair and stares at Tyrion from the mudy courtyard of Winterfell. (Basic Seat)
24:08 (+1) Bronn:
Bronn sits down to get dressed and put his boots on after Qyburn interrupts his session with Marei and the other whores. (Basic Seat)
Bran continues to sit in his wheelchair as Samwell Tarly steps out into the courtyard. (Basic Seat)
Bran has apparently sat in his wheelchair overnight through a light snowstorm, finally seeing his expected old friend Jaime Lannister arrive to Winterfell. (Basic Seat)
Special
Not even the upper balcony is safe, as Tyrion endures a staredown from Bran who is stuck in the muddy courtyard of Winterfell. (Special)
Ravaged by news about the deaths of his family and in emotional turmoil, Samwell Tarly stumbles into the court of Winterfell to find Bran staring and waiting for him. Bran gives him a homework assignment. (Special)
Beric lights up his flaming sword so everyone can finally see what's going on in this dark-ass scene. (Special)
After trekking for weeks incognito to make it up to Winterfell, Jaime discovers Bran just sitting there and staring at him. (Special)
The Feels
Theon and Yara share an embrace before they part ways to fight their separate parts of the war.
Yara: "You want to go to Wintefell. To fight for the Starks. Go. What is dead may never die."
Theon: "What is dead may never die."
Yara: "But kill the bastards anyway."
(Warm Fuzzy Moment)
After riding anonymously for a fortnight to reach Winterfell, Jaime discovers Bran has been sitting in the courtyard waiting for his "old friend" the whole time. (I've made a huge mistake.)
submitted by hindsight44 (approved!)