Matchup: Firing My Laser In The Air While Balls Deep In A Squealing Drago vs Please sir, I want some Mord for Ep 2
Pls Nerf Dragons
Insults Delivered / Funny Lines
14:06
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Tyrion: "So, we're going to die. At Winterfell. Not the death I would've chosen. I always pictured myself dying in my own bed, at the age of 80, with a belly fully of wine and a [in unison with Jaime] girl's mouth around my cock."
(Funny Line)
16:11
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Brienne: "What are you doing? ... We have never had a conversation last this long without you insulting me, not once."
Jaime: "You want me to insult you?" (Funny Line)
Jaime: "You want me to insult you?" (Funny Line)
35:33
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
to Tyrion: "It wasn't so simple. I was sleeping with my sister, and you had one friend in the world - who was sleeping with his sister."
(Funny Line)
51:19
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Tyrion: "How about a song? One of you must know one. Ser Davos?"
Davos: "You'll pray for a quick death. (Funny Line)
Davos: "You'll pray for a quick death. (Funny Line)
Glasses of Wine Consumed
36:08
(+5)
Jaime Lannister:
Tyrion raises a toast - "to the perils of self-betterment" and Jaime just gets his lips on the cup as Brienne and Podrick barge in.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
41:24
(+5)
Beric Dondarrion:
Beric drinks from Sandor Clegane's wineskin after reminding Arya how old and miserably shitty his company is.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
45:50
(+5)
Jaime Lannister:
Jaime refills his cup as the fireplace crew talks about the sexism of knighthood in Westeros.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
Acts of Intercourse
A Game of Thrones
34:50
(+1)
Jaime Lannister:
Jaime sits in front of the fireplace in Winterfell with Tyrion.
(Basic Seat)
36:55
(+1)
Jaime Lannister:
Jaime sits back down on his chair after inviting their new guests around the fireplace.
(Basic Seat)
40:39
(+1)
Beric Dondarrion:
Unlike the scrubby Arya Stark and Sandor Clegane who are laid out on the floor, Beric Dondarrion is a knight and a man of taste, and chooses a small artisanal barrel to squat on as he joins them on the Winterfell ramparts.
(Basic Seat)
51:06
(+1)
Jaime Lannister:
Tyrion sits as Davos declares "we're out of wine" to the fireplace crew.
(Basic Seat)
51:10
(+1)
Davos Seaworth:
Davos sits as he declares "we're out of wine" to the fireplace crew.
(Basic Seat)
Special
The Feels
23:25
(+5)
Theon Greyjoy:
Theon and Sansa share a heartfelt hug as he returns to the North with his Ironborn.
"I want to fight for Winterfell, Lady Sansa. If you'll have me." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
"I want to fight for Winterfell, Lady Sansa. If you'll have me." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
24:38
(+5)
Davos Seaworth:
Davos encounters a Northern girl with a scarred face, much like Shireen Baratheon's.
Nothern girl: "Which way should I go?"
Davos: "Which way do you want to go?" (Sad Feels)
Nothern girl: "Which way should I go?"
Davos: "Which way do you want to go?" (Sad Feels)
Grey Worm and Missandei make plans for summer vacation after the war is done.
Missandei: "My people are peaceful. We cannot protect ourselves."
Grey Worm: "My people are not peaceful. We will protect you." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
Missandei: "My people are peaceful. We cannot protect ourselves."
Grey Worm: "My people are not peaceful. We will protect you." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
47:37
(+5)
Jaime Lannister:
Jaime knights Brienne of Tarth
"In the name of the Warrior, I charge you to be brave.
In the name of the Father, I charge you to be just.
In the name of the Mother, I charge you to defend the innocent.
Arise, Brienne of Tarth - a knight of the Seven Kingdoms." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
"In the name of the Warrior, I charge you to be brave.
In the name of the Father, I charge you to be just.
In the name of the Mother, I charge you to defend the innocent.
Arise, Brienne of Tarth - a knight of the Seven Kingdoms." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)