Firing My Laser In The Air While Balls Deep In A Squealing Drago

Pls Nerf Dragons

Owner: jah.acc2

3-3, 40.5 roto pts (#5)
Z-Score: 0 (percentile: 50%)
Weeks at #1: 0
Categories won:
Best Week: Episode 1: Winterfell (+5 roto points)
Team MVP: Jaime Lannister (picked #10, 150 points, 44.91% of team total)
Longest winstreak: W-2

Roster Stats

Character	Drafted	Total	Kills	Politics	Insults	Wine	Sex	Thrones	Deaths	Special	Feels
Jaime Lannister	#10	150	31	0	18	30	10	6	7	12	36
Theon Greyjoy	#26	79	46	6	0	0	0	0	7	0	20
Bronn	#23	60	1	9	27	10	5	5	0	0	3
Marei	#74	25	0	0	0	0	25	0	0	0	0
Viserion	#7	15	5	0	0	0	0	0	10	0	0
Qyburn	#39	5	0	0	0	0	0	0	5	0	0
Melessa Tarly	#58	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
Syrio Forel	#71	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
Tyene Sand	#55	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
Jaqen H'ghar	#42	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
Totals		334	83	15	45	40	40	11	29	12	59

Roster

charId	Character	Special
390	Viserion	* each time he is mounted by a new dragonrider (Political Follower points) * on-screen barrel rolls completed (360° rotations in the air) * objects burned in non-combat situations
19	Jaime Lannister	* +1 point for awkward waves with his metal hand * +1 point when he uses his metal hand in a combat situation * +1 point when someone (excl. Cersei) references incest with Cersei or her childrens' bastardy directly to him * 2x multiplier for sex acts involving incest (first cousin or closer)
23	Bronn	+1 point when he gives expert critique/advice on fighting strategy
61	Theon Greyjoy	+1 point for scenes where Theon refers to himself as "Reek" +1 point when his missing manhood is referenced
72	Qyburn	* +1 point whenever he receives a new specimen for his experiments * +1 politics point when reporting information from his "little birds"
105	Jaqen H'ghar	+1 every time he dons a new disguise In the event that a Faceless Man's identity is ambiguous, points are awarded to the character whose face is worn at the time of the scoring event.
190	Tyene Sand	+1 for invoking the name of Oberyn Martell
213	Melessa Tarly
73	Syrio Forel	+1 point every time he references the "God of Death".
262	Marei

Kills

Episode 1: Winterfell

27:15 (+2) Theon Greyjoy:

Theon kills a member of Euron's crew as he leads a squad of Ironborn on a rescue mission to save his sister Yara Greyjoy. (Kill of Unnamed Character)

submitted by kevinreading66 (approved!)

Original submission: "Theon and his team board the boat to save Yara, 4 arrows are used to kill people working on the boat. The camera then cuts to Theon and his team with Theon at the front with his bow and arrow cocked, surely he deserves some points for these kills?"

There were actually 5 kills and on-screen we see a squad of 4 (including Theon). Given the scenario I've scored 1 for Theon (Euron's men were killed in quick succession, so presumably they all landed their shots).

For future references, I *would* say this is a bit of a grey(joy) area, with the fudged assumption that they didn't have time to reload much, so Theon must've landed his first shot. If there were 5 arrow kills and Theon had boarded with 20 goodmen, I don't think he would have gotten any points. Similar for 200 arrow kills and 20 men shooting, or if we saw arrows flying around and missing. These scenarios would put enough plausibility that Theon did not land his shots.

The scoring criteria wants to see strong attribution happen on-screen, else we have submissions like "Tormund and Jon were like 2/10 of soldiers in the Battle of Bastards at this point and there's a pile of 150 bodies around them, clearly they did 20% of those kills". It ends up cheapening the points for legitimate kills the characters do 1:1. -nyan

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2019 Apr 16
Also so much for having a crew of elite mutes who can't warn each other in the event of a surprise attack, eh Euron? -nyan

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2019 Apr 16 Nick, kailin, brandonpwitter, vjdev2015 like this

27:34 (+2) Theon Greyjoy:

Theon throws an axe into the skull of the Ironborn soldier guarding Yara Greyjoy. (Kill of Unnamed Character)

Episode 3: The Long Night

16:06 (+2) Jaime Lannister:

Jaime bodies a wight onto the ground. (Kill of Unnamed Character)

16:13 (+2) Jaime Lannister:

Jaime slashes a wight across its back and drags it off of Brienne. (Kill of Unnamed Character)

18:07 (+4) Jaime Lannister:

Jaime cuts down two wights as the snowstorm approaches from overhead. (Kill of Unnamed Character)

19:06 (+2) Jaime Lannister:

Jaime kills a charging wight (Kill of Unnamed Character)

37:18 (+2) Jaime Lannister:

Jaime cuts down the second wight climbing over the wall. (Kill of Unnamed Character)

37:40 (+4) Jaime Lannister:

Jaime cuts down three wights as they begin to overrun the wall. (Kill of Unnamed Character)

38:22 (+2) Jaime Lannister:

After being rescued by Brienne, Jaime covers her back and cuts down a wight. (Kill of Unnamed Character)

38:24 (+1) Jaime Lannister:

Jaime strikes a wight advancing on his and Brienne's position, though it is only partially injured and is finished off by Brienne. (Major Injury of Unnamed Character)

55:20 (+2) Theon Greyjoy:

Theon shoots down a wight with a flaming arrow as the Ironborn protect Bran in the Godswood. (Kill of Unnamed Character)

55:32 (+5) Viserion:

Viserion slashes at Rhaegal's breast, ripping off several of his scales as the dragons engage in an aerial dogfight. (Major Injury of Named Character)

Didn't Viserion get some kills around 56:56 when the Night King flew down and burned Winterfell and around 1:09:25 when it landed. -kasrasharif21

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2019 Apr 29 kimbo, christopher.a.cruzen, ddarko189, taylor1bridwell, 3 others like this
I was looking pretty closely at this and we get a vague breath of fire that smashes the wall. Nobody on the wall, and no shots that show any of the wights below burning. I'll do another pass at this on rewatch tongiht. -nyan

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2019 Apr 29 nicky.xchen1388, kimbo, taylor1bridwell like this
NK and Viserion inflicted damage to Danny and Drogon by spitting blue flame at them @ 44:57 -jchangz1991

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2019 Apr 30 taylor1bridwell, kasrasharif21, codyandrew77, power.suit, 2 others like this
Viserion should get the points because I think it’s clear that the wights below get killed because there are a lot piled in right right in the area where the fire hits both times. Not all of the other dragons kills showed the wights burning, the shots just show fire hitting the general area. -kasrasharif21

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2019 May 1 zllsports31, codyandrew77, power.suit like this

59:55 (+2) Jaime Lannister:

Jaime stabs into a wight. (Kill of Unnamed Character)

62:04 (+2) Theon Greyjoy:

Theon shoots down a charging wight in the Godswood. (Kill of Unnamed Character)

62:08 (+4) Theon Greyjoy:

Theon shoots down two more wights as they storm into the Godswood. (Kill of Unnamed Character)

+ 1 more

65:28 (+4) Theon Greyjoy:

Theon makes his last stand, killing two wights with his last two arrows. (Kill of Unnamed Character)

65:43 (+10) Theon Greyjoy:

Making his last stand after running out of arrows, Theon bashes in a wight with his bow, and finds a spear to fend off four more wights. (Kill of Unnamed Character)

69:00 (+6) Theon Greyjoy:

Theon cuts down three more wights as Bran's last defender in the Godswood. (Kill of Unnamed Character)

69:58 (+14) Theon Greyjoy:

Theon kills off 7 more wights in the final final stand in the Godswood. (Kill of Unnamed Character)

Episode 4: The Last of the Starks

40:01 (+1) Bronn:

Bronn punches Tyrion square in the nose, rendering it bloody. "I've never hit a dwarf before, but say another word and I will belt you." (Minor Injury of Named Character)

Episode 5: The Bells

55:05 (+10) Jaime Lannister:

Jaime stabs Euron Greyjoy through the stomach as they battle in the sea caves below King's Landing. (Kill of Named Character)

Political Wins

Episode 1: Winterfell

24:47 (+3) Bronn:

Qyburn gifts Bronn the crossbow used by Tyrion to murder Tywin Lannister, as Bronn is sent on a mission to assassinate the Lannister brothers. (New Weapon)

27:53 (+3) Theon Greyjoy:

After sneaking aboard Euron's ship, Theon frees his sister Yara. (New Follower/Prisoner)

29:07 (+3) Theon Greyjoy:

Yara: "You want to go to Wintefell. To fight for the Starks. Go. What is dead may never die."
Theon: "What is dead may never die." (House Words)

Episode 6: The Iron Throne

69:56 (+6) Bronn:

Bronn is revealed as Lord of Highgarden and Master of Coin at the Small Council meeting.

Tyrion: "Ser Bronn of the Blackwater, Lord of Highgarden, Lord Paramount of the Reach and Master of Coin, would you say the crown's debt to you has been paid?"
Bronn: "In full, my Lord Hand." (New Title)

Insults Delivered / Funny Lines

Episode 1: Winterfell

24:47 (+3) Bronn:

as Qyburn gifts him the crossbow used by Tyrion to kill Tywin Lannister
Qyburn: "She (Cersei) has a keen sense of poetic justice."
Bronn: "That fucking family..." (Funny Line)

Episode 2: A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms

14:06 (+3) Jaime Lannister:

Tyrion: "So, we're going to die. At Winterfell. Not the death I would've chosen. I always pictured myself dying in my own bed, at the age of 80, with a belly fully of wine and a [in unison with Jaime] girl's mouth around my cock." (Funny Line)

16:11 (+3) Jaime Lannister:

Brienne: "What are you doing? ... We have never had a conversation last this long without you insulting me, not once."
Jaime: "You want me to insult you?" (Funny Line)

35:33 (+3) Jaime Lannister:

to Tyrion: "It wasn't so simple. I was sleeping with my sister, and you had one friend in the world - who was sleeping with his sister." (Funny Line)

9 more comments - see full thread

Doesn’t matter, think it’s cause Jaime got points for new follower and they’ve been changed to Brienne’s points. -conor_finlay

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2019 Apr 22
Yeah, I had a few mistakes so it's possible that Jaime's +3 got balanced out by a -3 somewhere else. If you click into your team or your matchup, it will show an event log of all the events being counted for your characters. -nyan

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2019 Apr 22
there was a correction of -3 for jamie when he got points for pledging himself to brienne -ryanmcfarlane09

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2019 Apr 22

Episode 4: The Last of the Starks

15:42 (+3) Jaime Lannister:

Jaime and Brienne play a drinking game of guesses.

Jaime: "You... are an only child."
Brienne: "I told you I was."
Jaime: "You didn't."
Brienne: "I did."
Jaime: "I surmised it." (Funny Line)

25:24 (+3) Jaime Lannister:

Brienne: "It's the first thing I learnt when I came to the North. Keep your fire going. Every time you leave the room, put more wood on."
Jaime: "... You know the first thing I learned in the North? I hate the fucking North." (Funny Line)

39:22 (+3) Bronn:

Bronn comments after hearing of Jaime's relationship with Brienne.

"I knew you were fucking her. A pair of tall, blond toffs. Must be like looking in the mirror." (Witty Insult)

39:52 (+3) Bronn:

Tyrion: "You're a knight, thanks to me."
Bronn: "Thanks to me. And that title's worth as much as a blond hair from your brother's ballsack." (Witty Insult)

40:05 (+3) Bronn:

Tyrion: "You broke my nose!"
Bronn: "I did not break your nose."
Tyrion: "How do you know?"
Bronn: "Because I've been breaking noses since I was your size, and I know what it sounds like." (Funny Line)

40:50 (+3) Bronn:

Tyrion: "May I speak?
Bronn: "Why not? Only death will shut you up." (Witty Insult)

41:48 (+3) Bronn:

Jaime: "Highgarden will never belong to a cutthroat."
Bronn: "Who were your ancestors, the ones who made your family rich? Fancy lads in silk? They were fucking cutthroats.
That's how all the great houses started, isn't it? With a hard bastard who was good at killing people. Kill a few hundred people, they make you a lord. Kill a few thousand, they make you king. And then all your cocksucking grandsons can ruin the family with their cocksucking ways." (Funny Line)

Episode 5: The Bells

23:41 (+3) Jaime Lannister:

Tyrion: "Did you consider taking it (the golden hand) off?"
Jaime: "Cersei once called me the stupidest Lannister." (Funny Line)

Episode 6: The Iron Throne

70:30 (+3) Bronn:

Bronn: "The Master of Coin looks forward to helping the Master of Ships, but first he has to ensure we're not wasting coin, or soon there won't be no more coin."
Davos: "Any more."
Bronn: "You Master of Grammar now too?" (Witty Insult)

70:48 (+3) Bronn:

Bronn: "Oh, speaking of builders, all the best brothels burned down. The Master of Coin is willing to fund reconstruction." (Funny Line)

71:00 (+3) Bronn:

Samwell: "...the Archmaester is less than enthusiastic about the salutary effects of brothels."
Bronn: "Well I imagine he isn't using them properly." (Witty Insult)

Glasses of Wine Consumed

Episode 1: Winterfell

23:51 (+5) Bronn:

Bronn drinks a glass after being interrupted by Qyburn. (Glass of Wine Consumed)

Episode 2: A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms

36:08 (+5) Jaime Lannister:

Tyrion raises a toast - "to the perils of self-betterment" and Jaime just gets his lips on the cup as Brienne and Podrick barge in. (Glass of Wine Consumed)

45:50 (+5) Jaime Lannister:

Jaime refills his cup as the fireplace crew talks about the sexism of knighthood in Westeros. (Glass of Wine Consumed)

Episode 4: The Last of the Starks

9:52 (+5) Jaime Lannister:

Jaime drinks as Gendry scoots past him and Brienne in the aisle. (Glass of Wine Consumed)

12:24 (+5) Jaime Lannister:

Brienne and Jaime share a drink at the Feast of Winterfell.

Jaime: "We've fought dead things and lived to talk about it.If this isn't the time to drink, when is?" (Glass of Wine Consumed)

25:41 (+5) Jaime Lannister:

Jaime pours himself a cup and drinks in Brienne's bedchambers as he jealously questions her about Tormund Giantsbane. (Glass of Wine Consumed)

39:01 (+5) Jaime Lannister:

Jaime and Tyrion drink after toasting to Jaime's new relationship with Brienne. "To climbing mountains." (Glass of Wine Consumed)

41:49 (+5) Bronn:

Bronn has a sip from Tyrion's tasty beverage as he holds both of the Lannister brothers at bay with a crossbow. (Glass of Wine Consumed)

Acts of Intercourse

Episode 1: Winterfell

22:58 (+5) Bronn:

Bronn gets started with one of the trio of whores in his chambers, but is interrupted by Qyburn before he can complete the triple-bird score. (Act of Intercourse)

I feel like it should be a +15 considering it's a foursome -volkenss22

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2019 Apr 15 stevenorum, dlapato, philipfallah, michaelboehnlein2, 2 others like this
It could've been a foursome but Qyburn cockblocked it. -nyan

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2019 Apr 15 mlopez and Nick like this
So would he have had to actually have sex with all three? I feel like they were all a part of it -niketbp

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2019 Apr 16 stevenorum, dlapato, joshua like this
Agree that this scene seemed more like a +15 than a +5. -dlapato

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2019 Apr 16 michaelboehnlein2 likes this
This is the criteria used in the rulebook. Bronn was only in contact with one (Marei) before Qyburn interrupted things.

> The definitional line for sex is direct contact with the above nudity parts, by any one of the characters. -nyan

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2019 Apr 16 Nick likes this

22:58 (+25) Marei:

Marei multitasks by shoving Bronn down onto the bed and mounting him while carrying on a fascinating conversation about dragonfire injuries. (Act of Intercourse)

Episode 4: The Last of the Starks

27:20 (+5) Jaime Lannister:

Jaime fumbles awkwardly in his first attempts at flirting with someone who is not a sibling, but ultimately succeeds in wooing Brienne with the 'ol "my it's quite hot in here". (Act of Intercourse)

65:39 (+5) Jaime Lannister:

Jaime sits brooding in front of the fireplace after a 2nd night with Brienne, reflecting on how one just can't go back to non-incest after hitting that high-grade sibling kush. (Act of Intercourse)

submitted by nyan (approved!)

A Game of Thrones

Episode 1: Winterfell

24:08 (+1) Bronn:

Bronn sits down to get dressed and put his boots on after Qyburn interrupts his session with Marei and the other whores. (Basic Seat)

Episode 2: A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms

34:50 (+1) Jaime Lannister:

Jaime sits in front of the fireplace in Winterfell with Tyrion. (Basic Seat)

36:55 (+1) Jaime Lannister:

Jaime sits back down on his chair after inviting their new guests around the fireplace. (Basic Seat)

44:39 (+1) Jaime Lannister:

Jaime and the fireplace crew continue sitting. (Basic Seat)

51:06 (+1) Jaime Lannister:

Tyrion sits as Davos declares "we're out of wine" to the fireplace crew. (Basic Seat)

Episode 4: The Last of the Starks

38:29 (+1) Jaime Lannister:

Tyrion sits with Jaime in front of a fireplace in Winterfell, as Tyrion ribs Jaime on his newfound romance with Brienne. (Basic Seat)

39:37 (+1) Bronn:

Bronn takes a seat with his hostages as he negotiates with Tyrion and Jaime at crossbow-point. (Basic Seat)

65:17 (+1) Jaime Lannister:

Jaime sits on a chair in front of the fireplace after a 2nd night with Brienne, reflecting on how non-incest just doesn't really do it for him. (Basic Seat)

Episode 6: The Iron Throne

67:40 (+1) Bronn:

Bronn is seated at the Small Council meeting as Tyrion reviews Archmaester Ebrose's historical tome, "A Song of Ice and Fire" (Basic Seat)

68:39 (+1) Bronn:

Bronn reseats himself after Bran arrives at the Small Council meeting. (Basic Seat)

69:49 (+1) Bronn:

Bronn reseats himself at the Small Council meeting after King Bran's departure. (Basic Seat)

Deaths

Episode 3: The Long Night

56:09 (+5) Viserion:

Dueling with Rhaegal and then Drogon in aerial combat, the Night King is thrown off Viserion's back and Viserion soon after has his neck snapped by Drogon. (Death)

submitted by codyandrew77 (approved!)

63:23 (+5) Theon Greyjoy:

Theon is impaled by a spear shard after one last valiant charge against the Night King.

Bran: "Theon. You're a good man. Thank you." (Death)

76:06 (+5) Viserion:

Viserion collapses for the final time after Arya kills the Night King (Death)

Episode 4: The Last of the Starks

4:04 (+2) Theon Greyjoy:

Theon lies atop a funeral pyre after the battle of Winterfell, as Sansa says goodbye. (Dead Body Appearance)

Episode 5: The Bells

59:09 (+5) Qyburn:

Qyburn is bashed in against the rubble of the Red Keep and flung to his death by the Mountain, as he vainly commands Ser Gregor to stay by Queen Cersei's side. (Death)

73:43 (+5) Jaime Lannister:

Jaime reassures Cersei in their final moments in the cellars of the Red Keep, as the castle collapses down around them.

"Nothing else matters. Nothing else matters. Only us." (Death)

Episode 6: The Iron Throne

11:53 (+2) Jaime Lannister:

Tyrion finds Cersei's and Jaime's bodies in the rubble beneath the collapsed Red Keep (Dead Body Appearance)

Special

Episode 5: The Bells

23:37 (+3) Jaime Lannister:

Jaime holds up his golden hand when Tyrion asks "how did they (Daenerys' forces) find you?" (Special)

33:24 (+3) Jaime Lannister:

Jaime waves his golden hand at the Lannister guards in futility, as the King's Landing gates close and lock Jaime outside. (Special)

52:39 (+3) Jaime Lannister:

Jaime uses the ancient martial art of throat-poking with his golden hand while fighting Euron Greyjoy. (Special)

52:56 (+3) Jaime Lannister:

Jaime bitch-slaps Euron across the face with his golden hand to escape from a chokehold. (Special)

The Feels

Episode 1: Winterfell

29:17 (+5) Theon Greyjoy:

Theon and Yara share an embrace before they part ways to fight their separate parts of the war.
Yara: "You want to go to Wintefell. To fight for the Starks. Go. What is dead may never die."
Theon: "What is dead may never die."
Yara: "But kill the bastards anyway." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)

53:29 (+3) Jaime Lannister:

After riding anonymously for a fortnight to reach Winterfell, Jaime discovers Bran has been sitting in the courtyard waiting for his "old friend" the whole time. (I've made a huge mistake.)

submitted by hindsight44 (approved!)

Ooooooh I love this! -nyan

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2019 Apr 15 ddarko189 and mlopez like this
That doesn't account for the category of the "I've made a huge mistake".
The explanation for is: the "you done fucked up" moments where a character has done something that in hindsight was clearly a dumb, avoidable mistake.

But, Jaime doesn't do any dumb or avoidable mistake (or any mistake at all). -amitelran2110

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2019 Apr 16 tal.t, semion.g, guy.v, IPKOB like this
We'll see in the upcoming episode. It seems like it may be a mistake to have come to Winterfell at all. Definitely a worthwhile debate though. -nyan

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2019 Apr 16

Episode 2: A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms

23:25 (+5) Theon Greyjoy:

Theon and Sansa share a heartfelt hug as he returns to the North with his Ironborn.

"I want to fight for Winterfell, Lady Sansa. If you'll have me." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)

47:37 (+5) Jaime Lannister:

Jaime knights Brienne of Tarth

"In the name of the Warrior, I charge you to be brave.
In the name of the Father, I charge you to be just.
In the name of the Mother, I charge you to defend the innocent.
Arise, Brienne of Tarth - a knight of the Seven Kingdoms." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)

Episode 3: The Long Night

32:36 (+5) Theon Greyjoy:

Bran to Theon: "Everything you did brought you where you are now. Where you belong. Home." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)

submitted by brendan.hamme (approved!)

71:14 (+5) Theon Greyjoy:

Bran: "Theon. You're a good man. Thank you." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)

submitted by nyan (approved!)

10 more comments - see full thread

😭💔 -kschamber

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2019 Apr 30
This is my personal bias but I think Bran is a soulless robot and deserves nothing in this category until he snaps out of it and becomes Bran. But he probably gets a Feels of the Week +15 score at that point. -nyan

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2019 Apr 30
Do the white walkers get points for their deaths? -bcharleshayes

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2019 May 1 nick.k.bauer likes this

Episode 4: The Last of the Starks

56:50 (+15) Jaime Lannister:

After two days of playing house with Brienne, Jaime receives news of the events in King's Landing and reflects on where his true passions lie.

"You think I'm a good man? I pushed a boy out a tower window, crippled him for life for Cersei. I strangled my cousin with my own hands just to get back to Cersei. I would have murdered every man, woman and child in Riverrun for Cersei. She's hateful. And so am I." (Sad Feels)

65:09 (+3) Jaime Lannister:

After two nights in bed with Brienne, Jaime lies awake and reflects on how non-incest just really doesn't do it for him. (I've made a huge mistake.)

submitted by nyan (approved!)

Episode 5: The Bells

26:47 (+5) Jaime Lannister:

Tyrion frees Jaime and the Lannister brothers say their goodbyes on the eve of the attack on King's Landing.

Tyrion: "You were the only one who didn't treat me like a monster. You were all I had." (Sad Feels)

73:43 (+5) Jaime Lannister:

Jaime reassures Cersei in their final moments in the cellars of the Red Keep, as the castle collapses down around them.

"Nothing else matters. Nothing else matters. Only us." (Sad Feels)

Episode 6: The Iron Throne

67:15 (+3) Bronn:

Bronn drags one of Tyrion's carefully arranged Small Council chairs to the Hand's exasperation. (Ridiculously Funny Moment)

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