Matchup: Ed sucks vs Eggplant sucks ass for Ep 2
A Storm of Semen
Political Wins
5:04
(+3)
Brienne of Tarth:
Brienne defends Jaime to the skeptical court at Winterfell, convincing Sansa to accept Jaime.
to Sansa: "Without him, my Lady, you would not be alive. He armed me, armored me, and sent me to find you and bring you home. Because he had sworn an oath to your mother." (Convincing Argument)
to Sansa: "Without him, my Lady, you would not be alive. He armed me, armored me, and sent me to find you and bring you home. Because he had sworn an oath to your mother." (Convincing Argument)
Daenerys addresses Jon as Warden of the North when asking his opinion on the Jaime Lannister matter, confirming his new position under his regime.
(New Title)
submitted by hindsight44 (approved!)
15:54
(+3)
Brienne of Tarth:
Brienne is revealed to be a commander for the upcoming Battle at Winterfell, overseeing the left flank.
"It's good ground. The rise - it should give us some advantage if we can keep a tight formation we might be able to beat them back." (New Title)
"It's good ground. The rise - it should give us some advantage if we can keep a tight formation we might be able to beat them back." (New Title)
16:37
(+3)
Brienne of Tarth:
Jaime pledges his services to Brienne: "I came to Winterfell because I'm not the fighter I used to be. But I'd be honored to serve under your command, if you'll have me."
(New Follower/Prisoner)
18:01
(+3)
Jorah Mormont:
Jorah convinces Daenerys to forgive Tyrion's failures and keep him on as Hand of the Queen.
(Convincing Argument)
23:25
(+3)
Sansa Stark:
Theon returns North and pledges his services to Sansa. "I want to fight for Winterfell, Lady Sansa. If you'll have me."
(New Follower/Prisoner)
48:09
(+3)
Brienne of Tarth:
Brienne is knighted by Ser Jaime Lannister.
"In the name of the Warrior, I charge you to be brave.
In the name of the Father, I charge you to be just.
In the name of the Mother, I charge you to defend the innocent.
Arise, Brienne of Tarth - a knight of the Seven Kingdoms." (New Title)
"In the name of the Warrior, I charge you to be brave.
In the name of the Father, I charge you to be just.
In the name of the Mother, I charge you to defend the innocent.
Arise, Brienne of Tarth - a knight of the Seven Kingdoms." (New Title)
50:17
(+3)
Jorah Mormont:
Samwell gifts the Tarly family sword to Jorah.
Samwell: "And I'd love to defend them with it. But I can't really hold it upright. Your father, he taught me how to be a man. How to do what's right. This is right." (New Weapon)
Samwell: "And I'd love to defend them with it. But I can't really hold it upright. Your father, he taught me how to be a man. How to do what's right. This is right." (New Weapon)
Insults Delivered / Funny Lines
12:40
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion comments on the Lannister brothers reunion as they are spat upon by Northerners.
"Well, here we are... together again. And the masses rejoice." (Funny Line)
"Well, here we are... together again. And the masses rejoice." (Funny Line)
13:41
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Jaime: "Don't be too hard on yourself. She fooled me more than anybody."
Tyrion: "She never fooled you. You always knew exactly what she was. And you loved her anyway." (Witty Insult)
Tyrion: "She never fooled you. You always knew exactly what she was. And you loved her anyway." (Witty Insult)
14:06
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion: "So, we're going to die. At Winterfell. Not the death I would've chosen. I always pictured myself dying in my own bed, at the age of 80, with a belly fully of wine and a [in unison with Jaime] girl's mouth around my cock."
(Funny Line)
16:11
(+3)
Brienne of Tarth:
Brienne: "What are you doing? ... We have never had a conversation last this long without you insulting me, not once."
Jaime: "You want me to insult you?" (Funny Line)
Jaime: "You want me to insult you?" (Funny Line)
30:43
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion: "You've had a strange journey."
Bran: "Stranger than most."
Tyrion: "I'd like to hear about it.
Bran: "It's a long story."
Tyrion: "If only we were in a castle, in the middle of winter with nowhere to go." (Funny Line)
Bran: "Stranger than most."
Tyrion: "I'd like to hear about it.
Bran: "It's a long story."
Tyrion: "If only we were in a castle, in the middle of winter with nowhere to go." (Funny Line)
33:40
(+3)
Samwell Tarly:
Sam defends his renowned fighting abilities
Jon Snow: "If you want to join them (Gilly and little Sam in the crypts)..."
Sam: "Everyone seems to forget that I was the first man to kill a White Walker. I've killed Thenns-"
Edd: "Thenn."
Sam: "I've saved Gilly more than once. I stole a *considerable* number of books from the Citadel library. Survived the Fist of the First Men. You need me out there!"
Edd: "Well if that's where it's come to we really are fucked." (Funny Line)
Jon Snow: "If you want to join them (Gilly and little Sam in the crypts)..."
Sam: "Everyone seems to forget that I was the first man to kill a White Walker. I've killed Thenns-"
Edd: "Thenn."
Sam: "I've saved Gilly more than once. I stole a *considerable* number of books from the Citadel library. Survived the Fist of the First Men. You need me out there!"
Edd: "Well if that's where it's come to we really are fucked." (Funny Line)
34:03
(+3)
Samwell Tarly:
Edd: "Well if that's where it's come to we really are fucked."
Sam: "Well- calling you fucked wouldn't be strictly accurate." (Witty Insult)
Sam: "Well- calling you fucked wouldn't be strictly accurate." (Witty Insult)
34:58
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
to Jaime: "I wish father were here. I would love to see the look on his face when he realizes his two sons are about to die defending Winterfell."
(Funny Line)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
36:17
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Brienne: "We didn't meant to interrupt, we were just looking for someplace warm to-"
Tyrion: "-to contemplate your imminent death. You've come to the right place." (Funny Line)
Tyrion: "-to contemplate your imminent death. You've come to the right place." (Funny Line)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
36:29
(+3)
Brienne of Tarth:
Brienne relents and allows her squire to have a drink.
Brienne: "I don't think that's wise - the battle might start at any moment."
[Podrick sad look]
Brienne: "Half cup." (Funny Line)
Brienne: "I don't think that's wise - the battle might start at any moment."
[Podrick sad look]
Brienne: "Half cup." (Funny Line)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
37:26
(+3)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Tyrion: "Would you like a drink?"
Tormund: "Brought my own." [holds up horn of weird milk] (Funny Line)
Tormund: "Brought my own." [holds up horn of weird milk] (Funny Line)
37:35
(+3)
Tormund Giantsbane:
The telephone game of Westerosi epithets makes its way to Tormund.
to Jaime: "They call you Kingkiller." (Funny Line)
to Jaime: "They call you Kingkiller." (Funny Line)
38:27
(+3)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Tormund tells the story of his name, Giantsbane.
"They call me Giantsbane. Want to know why?
I killed a giant when I was 10. Then I climbed right into bed with his wife.
When she woke up, you know what she did? Suckled me at her teat for three months.
Thought I was her baby. That's how I got so strong. Giant's milk." (Funny Line)
"They call me Giantsbane. Want to know why?
I killed a giant when I was 10. Then I climbed right into bed with his wife.
When she woke up, you know what she did? Suckled me at her teat for three months.
Thought I was her baby. That's how I got so strong. Giant's milk." (Funny Line)
46:04
(+3)
Tormund Giantsbane:
to Brienne: "I'm no King, but if I were, I'd knight you ten times over."
(Funny Line)
51:19
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Tyrion: "How about a song? One of you must know one. Ser Davos?"
Davos: "You'll pray for a quick death. (Funny Line)
Davos: "You'll pray for a quick death. (Funny Line)
Glasses of Wine Consumed
34:50
(+5)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion drinks in front of the fireplace at Winterfell as he chats with Jaime. "I wish father were here."
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
38:27
(+5)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Tormund shotguns his entire horn of "giants' milk" as it pours down all over his beard to the dismay of Davos and others.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
submitted by alicehanners (approved!)
A Game of Thrones
Jon is zoned out in his seat as the rest of the court in Winterfell interrogates Jaime.
(Basic Seat)
4:29
(+1)
Sansa Stark:
Sansa is seated at the head table in Winterfell as the court interrogates Jaime Lannister.
(Basic Seat)
4:35
(+1)
Bran Stark:
Bran sits in his wheelchair at the Court of Winterfell.
Jaime: "We were at war. Everything I did, I did for my house and my family. i'd do it all again."
Bran: "The things we do for love." (Basic Seat)
Jaime: "We were at war. Everything I did, I did for my house and my family. i'd do it all again."
Bran: "The things we do for love." (Basic Seat)
10:59
(+1)
Bran Stark:
Bran sits in his wheelchair in the Godswood as he has a conversation with Jaime.
(Basic Seat)
18:38
(+1)
Sansa Stark:
Sansa sits with Lord Royce as they discuss what to do with the gates for the upcoming battle. "Keep them open for as long as you can, there are still people coming in from the countryside."
(Basic Seat)
27:17
(+1)
Bran Stark:
Bran sits in his wheelchair while the group plans for the Battle of Winterfell.
(Basic Seat)
30:43
(+1)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion sits down to hear Bran's story.
Bran: "It's a long story."
Tyrion: "If only we were in a castle, in the middle of winter with nowhere to go." (Basic Seat)
Bran: "It's a long story."
Tyrion: "If only we were in a castle, in the middle of winter with nowhere to go." (Basic Seat)
34:50
(+1)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion sits in a chair by the fireplace at Winterfell, chatting with Jaime. "I wish father were here."
(Basic Seat)
36:55
(+1)
Brienne of Tarth:
Brienne accepts Jaime's offer of a seat in front of the fireplace.
Jaime: "You really think any of us are going to sleep tonight? Join us." (Basic Seat)
Jaime: "You really think any of us are going to sleep tonight? Join us." (Basic Seat)
37:55
(+1)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Tormund sits down to regale the fireplace crew with the story of how he was named Giantsbane.
(Basic Seat)
51:06
(+1)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion sits as Davos declares "we're out of wine" to the fireplace crew.
(Basic Seat)
51:10
(+1)
Brienne of Tarth:
Brienne is sitting as Davos declares "we're out of wine" to the fireplace crew.
(Basic Seat)
51:10
(+1)
Davos Seaworth:
Davos sits as he declares "we're out of wine" to the fireplace crew.
(Basic Seat)
51:10
(+1)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Tormund is sitting as Davos declares "we're out of wine" to the fireplace crew.
(Basic Seat)
Special
23:25
(+3)
Sansa Stark:
Sansa eyes well up as Theon arrives to Winterfell with the Ironborn to pledge his services.
(Special)
submitted by olinnbroderick3 (approved!)
25:55
(+3)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Tormund greets Jon with a bear tackle and calls him "My little Crow."
(Special)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
30:05
(+9)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Tormund gives the eye to Brienne during the battle planning meeting (3 seconds)
"We're all going to die... but at least we die together." (Special)
"We're all going to die... but at least we die together." (Special)
37:11
(+18)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Tormund stares at Brienne as he enters the fireplace room (6 cumulative seconds staring at Brienne). She stares back.
"It could be our last night in this world, you know?" (Special)
"It could be our last night in this world, you know?" (Special)
The Feels
23:25
(+5)
Sansa Stark:
Sansa and Theon share a heartfelt hug as he returns to the North with his Ironborn.
"I want to fight for Winterfell, Lady Sansa. If you'll have me." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
"I want to fight for Winterfell, Lady Sansa. If you'll have me." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
24:38
(+5)
Davos Seaworth:
Davos encounters a Northern girl with a scarred face, much like Shireen Baratheon's.
Nothern girl: "Which way should I go?"
Davos: "Which way do you want to go?" (Sad Feels)
Nothern girl: "Which way should I go?"
Davos: "Which way do you want to go?" (Sad Feels)
25:52
(+3)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Tormund bear tackles Jon Snow in the courtyard as the Beyond-the-Wall gang reunites in Winterfell.
(Funny Line)
The three remaining Night's Watch members share some banter and reflect on their beginnings.
Samwell: "Think back to where we started. Us, Grenn, Pyp."
Jon: "Now it's just us three."
Edd: "Last man left, burn the rest of us." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
Samwell: "Think back to where we started. Us, Grenn, Pyp."
Jon: "Now it's just us three."
Edd: "Last man left, burn the rest of us." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
34:25
(+5)
Samwell Tarly:
The three remaining Night's Watch members share some banter and reflect on their beginnings.
Samwell: "Think back to where we started. Us, Grenn, Pyp."
Jon: "Now it's just us three."
Edd: "Last man left, burn the rest of us." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
Samwell: "Think back to where we started. Us, Grenn, Pyp."
Jon: "Now it's just us three."
Edd: "Last man left, burn the rest of us." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
38:27
(+3)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Tormund shotguns his entire horn of "giants' milk" as it pours down all over his beard to the dismay of Davos and others.
(Ridiculously Funny Moment)
47:37
(+15)
Brienne of Tarth:
Brienne is knighted by Ser Jaime Lannister.
"In the name of the Warrior, I charge you to be brave.
In the name of the Father, I charge you to be just.
In the name of the Mother, I charge you to defend the innocent.
Arise, Brienne of Tarth - a knight of the Seven Kingdoms." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
"In the name of the Warrior, I charge you to be brave.
In the name of the Father, I charge you to be just.
In the name of the Mother, I charge you to defend the innocent.
Arise, Brienne of Tarth - a knight of the Seven Kingdoms." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
50:17
(+5)
Jorah Mormont:
Jorah receives Heartsbane, Tarly family sword from Samwell, as a remembrance to his father, the Lord Commander Jeor Mormont.
Samwell: "And I'd love to defend them with it. But I can't really hold it upright. Your father, he taught me how to be a man. How to do what's right. This is right." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
Samwell: "And I'd love to defend them with it. But I can't really hold it upright. Your father, he taught me how to be a man. How to do what's right. This is right." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
50:17
(+5)
Samwell Tarly:
Jorah receives Heartsbane, the Tarly family sword from Samwell, as a remembrance to his father, the Lord Commander Jeor Mormont.
Samwell: "And I'd love to defend them with it. But I can't really hold it upright. Your father, he taught me how to be a man. How to do what's right. This is right." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
Samwell: "And I'd love to defend them with it. But I can't really hold it upright. Your father, he taught me how to be a man. How to do what's right. This is right." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)