Matchup: Pod's Long Rod vs Eggplant sucks ass for Ep 3
A Storm of Semen
Kills
15:32
(+2)
Wight Army (Extras):
A wight leaps onto an Unsullied soldier as the undead crash into the Unsullied front line.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
15:38
(+2)
Wight Army (Extras):
An Unsullied soldier is knocked to the ground as he bleeds out over the snow.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
15:39
(+2)
Wight Army (Extras):
A wight severs the arm of an Unsullied soldier
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
15:40
(+2)
Wight Army (Extras):
A wight rips apart the throat of an an Unsullied soldier with its bare hands
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
15:40
(+2)
Wight Army (Extras):
A wight pushes a sword through the throat of an Unsullied soldier
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
15:41
(+4)
Wight Army (Extras):
Wights gang tackle two Unsullied soldiers from the side
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
15:42
(+2)
Wight Army (Extras):
Wights decapitate an Unsullied soldier as he lays injured on the ground
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
15:58
(+2)
Wight Army (Extras):
A Vale soldier is run through by a wight, after valiantly bashing one to bits with his shield.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
16:01
(+2)
Podrick Payne:
Podrick gets a quick stab on a wight that charges him.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
16:02
(+2)
Wight Army (Extras):
The wights slash another Northern soldier in the throat.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
16:03
(+2)
Wight Army (Extras):
A wight eats the face of a chainmailed soldier on the ground.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
16:05
(+2)
Brienne of Tarth:
Brienne's downward strike takes out one wight, before she is gang-tackled by the horde.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
16:13
(+2)
Jaime Lannister:
Jaime slashes a wight across its back and drags it off of Brienne.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
16:27
(+2)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Tormund slashes a wight across the chest as Drogon rains down fire in teh background.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
16:29
(+2)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Tormund knees a wight in the zombie balls as Drogon's fire rages around.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
16:51
(+2)
Wight Army (Extras):
A chainmail-clad wight pulls down a screaming Northern soldier.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
18:07
(+4)
Jaime Lannister:
Jaime cuts down two wights as the snowstorm approaches from overhead.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
18:09
(+2)
Podrick Payne:
Podrick home run swings a wight into pieces with his dragonglass blade.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
18:11
(+4)
Brienne of Tarth:
Brienne cuts down two wights as the snowstorm approaches overhead.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
18:12
(+4)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Tormund slashes two wights before the snowstorm overwhelms the battlefield.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
19:08
(+4)
Podrick Payne:
Podrick runs through a wight with his sword, and slashes another on its side.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
19:44
(+2)
Brienne of Tarth:
Brienne stabs through a wight as Sam watches her silhouette through the flames of the battlefield.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
19:51
(+10)
Wight Army (Extras):
A wight runs a sword through the back of Eddison Tollet moments after he rescues Samwell Tarly.
(Kill of Named Character)
21:46
(+4)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Tormund cuts down a wight while telling the troops to fall back, then brings his axe down at a wight that attacks his leg.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
24:41
(+2)
Wight Army (Extras):
A wight lunges onto a soldier as the Northern forces make their hasty retreat back to Winterfell.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
24:44
(+2)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Tormund slashes a wight as his group makes a running retreat back to Winterfell
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
26:02
(+2)
Wight Army (Extras):
A wight gets very stabby with a Northern soldier on the ground.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
26:50
(+6)
Wight Army (Extras):
Wights tackle the three Winterfell torch runners before they can make it to light the trenches.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
28:19
(+2)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Tormund cuts down a wight as Melisandre works to light the trench on fire.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
28:40
(+4)
Melisandre:
Two lunging wights are engulfed by the flames as Melisandre lights the trench just in the nick of time.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
28:40
(+2)
Melisandre:
A wight in front of the trench is caught in the flames after it suddenly lights up in flames after Melisandre's spell.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
29:13
(+8)
Melisandre:
Four burning wights attempt to crawl out from under the burning trench lit by Melisandre
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
29:15
(+8)
Melisandre:
Four more wights are shown burning along the trench lit by Melisandre.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
37:18
(+2)
Jaime Lannister:
Jaime cuts down the second wight climbing over the wall.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
37:32
(+2)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Tormund finds something to stab in the mostly empty ribcage of a wight climbing over the wall.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
37:35
(+4)
Wight Army (Extras):
The wights begin to breach the defenses at the wall, knocking over one defender and lunging atop another screaming Northern soldier.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
37:40
(+4)
Jaime Lannister:
Jaime cuts down three wights as they begin to overrun the wall.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
37:43
(+8)
Wight Army (Extras):
The Wight Army overtakes the wall, mauling 4 of its defenders and forcing the heroes to make a retreat.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
37:52
(+4)
Wight Army (Extras):
The wights jump two more Northern soldiers, dragging one of them across the ramparts and down to the zombie mosh pit below.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
38:04
(+4)
Brienne of Tarth:
Brienne decapitates two wights as they overrun the wall.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
38:12
(+6)
Brienne of Tarth:
Brienne knocks 3 wights over a weak guardrail atop the wall.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
38:20
(+12)
Brienne of Tarth:
Brienne rescues Jaime and killing the 2 wights on top of him and defending against 4 more wights charging their position.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
38:22
(+2)
Jaime Lannister:
After being rescued by Brienne, Jaime covers her back and cuts down a wight.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
38:24
(+1)
Jaime Lannister:
Jaime strikes a wight advancing on his and Brienne's position, though it is only partially injured and is finished off by Brienne.
(Major Injury of Unnamed Character)
38:25
(+2)
Brienne of Tarth:
Brienne mops up Jaime's sloppy work, turning around to cut down a wight who was still attacking after Jaime's strike.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
38:53
(+10)
Wight Army (Extras):
After overrunning the castle wall, the wights descend onto the courtyard, massacring the first group of Northern soldiers they encounter.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
38:55
(+4)
Wight Army (Extras):
A hero wight manages to cut down two Northern soldiers on its own.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
39:04
(+2)
Wight Army (Extras):
A wight corners a Norther soldier and stabs him repeatedly in the stomach.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
39:21
(+6)
Wight Army (Extras):
Wights begin overrunning the inner courtyard at Winterfell, tackling or slashing at 3 Northern soldiers.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
39:25
(+2)
Wight Army (Extras):
The wights run a Northern soldier off a sloping roof adjoining the Winterfell walls.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
39:34
(+2)
Wight Army (Extras):
A wight stabs a Northern soldier through the throat.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
39:36
(+2)
Wight Army (Extras):
Wights impale a Northern soldier onto the dragonglass-barbed Czech hedgehog, forming a safe platform for them to overrun the defense.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
40:31
(+4)
Wight Army (Extras):
Wights jump the courtyard and cut down two Mormont soldiers.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
51:52
(+10)
Wight Army (Extras):
Beric blocks the doorway for a few moments as the wights finish him off in one of the most intense TSA frisk checks of all time.
(Kill of Named Character)
The Night King rides Viserion as he slashes at Rhaegal's breast, ripping off several of his scales as the dragons engage in an aerial dogfight.
(Major Injury of Named Character)
Viserion slashes at Rhaegal's breast, ripping off several of his scales as the dragons engage in an aerial dogfight.
(Major Injury of Named Character)
56:38
(+2)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Tormund turns around to protect Gendry, kicking a wight off of their backs in the Winterfell courtyard.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
59:54
(+2)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Tormund beheads a wight atop the castle walls.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
61:52
(+2)
Wight Army (Extras):
The wights break into the crypts, dragging a girl into the darkness of one of the vaults.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
62:02
(+2)
Wight Army (Extras):
A girl trips in the crypts and is dragged into the bokeh as the wights attack.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
62:18
(+2)
Wight Army (Extras):
An Iroborn is tackled by a wight in the Godswood.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
63:19
(+5)
Wight Army (Extras):
Taking advantage of a prolonged landing, the horde of wights descend on Drogon, stabbing him all over as he attempts to fly away.
(Major Injury of Named Character)
64:33
(+4)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Tormund flails wildly and kills two wights as he and Gendry battle atop a mountain of wights and bodies.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
64:56
(+6)
Brienne of Tarth:
Brienne cuts down three wights as they begin to overwhelm her position in the Winterfell courtyard.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
65:04
(+2)
Wight Army (Extras):
A wight kills a Nothern soldier in the hallway moments before he is killed by Jon Snow.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
65:30
(+10)
Wight Army (Extras):
As the Ironborn make their last stand in the Godswood, the wights take them down one by one.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
66:19
(+4)
Wight Army (Extras):
The wight eats the faces off of two people as they flood the Winterfell crypts.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
67:51
(+4)
Podrick Payne:
As Brienne and Jaimie are tied up against the wall, Podrick's hands are free and he continues to hack away at the wight horde, scoring two kills.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
67:54
(+2)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Tormund cuts down a wight as he and Gendry fend off the horde atop a pile of bodies.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
68:16
(+2)
Wight Army (Extras):
The wights bash in a woman against a statue in the Winterfell crypts.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
68:19
(+2)
Wight Army (Extras):
A wight chases down a mother and her two children and nabs the slower one that is less important to her in the crypts of Winterfell.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
69:30
(+2)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Tormund stabs down into the mound of wights.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
72:15
(+10)
White Walker (Night King):
The Night King dodges the naïve spear charge by Theon, breaking the weapon in half and stabbing Theon through the stomach with the broken stick.
(Kill of Named Character)
77:55
(+10)
Wight Army (Extras):
After facing an onslaught of wights converging on Daenerys, Jorah succumbs to his wounds, having successfully defended his Queen.
(Kill of Named Character)
submitted by brendan.hamme (approved!)
78:00
(+1)
Wight Army (Extras):
End-of-battle tally: minor injuries to Jon Snow throughout the battle
(Minor Injury of Named Character)
78:00
(+1)
Wight Army (Extras):
End-of-battle tally: minor injuries to Brienne of Tarth throughout the battle
(Minor Injury of Named Character)
78:00
(+1)
Wight Army (Extras):
End-of-battle tally: minor injuries to Tormund Giantsbane throughout the battle
(Minor Injury of Named Character)
78:00
(+1)
Wight Army (Extras):
End-of-battle tally: minor injuries to Sandor Clegane throughout the battle
(Minor Injury of Named Character)
78:00
(+1)
Wight Army (Extras):
End-of-battle tally: minor injuries to Gendry throughout the battle
(Minor Injury of Named Character)
78:00
(+1)
Wight Army (Extras):
End-of-battle tally: minor injuries to Podrick Payne throughout the battle
(Minor Injury of Named Character)
78:00
(+1)
Wight Army (Extras):
End-of-battle tally: minor injuries to Grey Worm throughout the battle
(Minor Injury of Named Character)
78:00
(+1)
Wight Army (Extras):
End-of-battle tally: minor injuries to Samwell Tarly throughout the battle
(Minor Injury of Named Character)
79:18
(+10)
Melisandre:
Melisandre removes her amulet, letting old age finally consume her as she withers in the snowy fields outside Winterfell.
(Kill of Named Character)
Political Wins
14:06
(+3)
Wight Army (Extras):
The Wight Army routs Jorah Mormont's cavalry charge with the Dothraki horde, winning the initial skirmish outside the walls of Winterfell.
(Victorious Battle)
29:35
(+3)
Wight Army (Extras):
The Wight Army wins the second phase of the battle, pushing the Northern armies to retreat back within Winterfell and slaughtering almost all of the Unsullied defenders.
(Victorious Battle)
The Army of the Dead wins the third phase of the battle, overrunning the Winterfall walls and reaching the interior of the castle.
(Victorious Battle)
42:28
(+3)
Wight Army (Extras):
The Army of the Dead wins the third phase of the battle, overrunning the Winterfall walls and reaching the interior of the castle.
(Victorious Battle)
57:03
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei lies to Euron that she is pregnant with his child.
"When the war is won, the Lion shall rule the land, the Kraken shall rule the sea and our child shall one day rule them all." (Act of Betrayal)
"When the war is won, the Lion shall rule the land, the Kraken shall rule the sea and our child shall one day rule them all." (Act of Betrayal)
submitted by al.maymanet (approved!)
After he notices an decidedly unstealthy Jon trying to sneak up on his back, the Night King raises all of the dead bodies surrounding Jon to become a new wight army.
(Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
59:25
(+3)
Wight Army (Extras):
The Wight Army's numbers multiply as they add the dead Dothraki, Unsullied, and Northern armies to their ranks.
(Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
The Night King reanimates Lyanna Mormont as an undead wight.
(New Follower/Prisoner)
The Night King reanimates Qhono as an undead wight.
(New Follower/Prisoner)
The Night King reanimates Eddison Tollet as an undead wight.
(New Follower/Prisoner)
Insults Delivered / Funny Lines
Varys sighs at his fate while waiting out the Battle of Winterfell: "At least we already in a crypt."
(Funny Line)
submitted by yarden.s (approved!)
30:34
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
"You might be surprised at the lengths I'd go to avoid joining the Army of the Dead. I could think of no organization less suited to my talents."
(Funny Line)
submitted by ryanmcfarlane09 (approved!)
31:11
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion: "Maybe we should have stayed married."
Sansa: "You were the best of them."
Tyrion: "What a terrifying thought." (Funny Line)
Sansa: "You were the best of them."
Tyrion: "What a terrifying thought." (Funny Line)
submitted by ryanmcfarlane09 (approved!)
Glasses of Wine Consumed
20:51
(+5)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion takes a swig from his wineskin after he realizes he has nothing to say to Sansa in the Winterfell crypts.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
30:45
(+5)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion drinks from his second wineskin as Varys and Sansa tell him to give up hope of venturing upstairs and being useful for the battle.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
49:12
(+5)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion drinks some liquid courage from his wineskin as the wights come bashing through to the crypt level.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
Deaths
Dueling with Rhaegal and then Drogon in aerial combat, the Night King is thrown off Viserion's back and Viserion soon after has his neck snapped by Drogon.
(Death)
submitted by codyandrew77 (approved!)
69:46
(+5)
Melisandre:
Melisandre removes her amulet, letting old age finally consume her as she withers in the snowy fields outside Winterfell.
(Death)
The Night King shatters after Arya lands a hit to its stomach with her Valyrian steel dagger.
(Death)
Special
8:33
(+3)
Melisandre:
Melisandre lights up the arakhs of the Dothraki horde before they charge into battle against the undead army.
(Special)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
19:58
(+3)
Wight Army (Extras):
The wight who killed Eddison Tollet stares back at Sam with its blue eyes, and Sam runs in terror
(Special)
28:40
(+3)
Melisandre:
Melisandre realizes she should've spent more time on Duolingo getting the tones right, but eventually succeeds in lighting the trench on fire to momentarily stop the advance of the Wight Army.
(Special)
29:26
(+54)
Wight Army (Extras):
After Melisandre lights the trench, 18 wights stare back through the flames with their glowing blue eyes.
(Special)
submitted by brendan.hamme (approved!)
47:16
(+3)
Wight Army (Extras):
A wight continues to stare at Arya with its blue eyes after being stabbed in the library.
(Special)
59:45
(+21)
Wight Army (Extras):
The dead stare back at Jon as the Night King raises them back up.
(Special)
72:56
(+21)
Wight Army (Extras):
Seven sets of blue eyes stare through the weirwood tree to watch as Theon makes his final spear charge against the Night King
(Special)
The Feels
31:11
(+5)
Tyrion Lannister:
Sansa and Tyrion wax nostalgic to their King's Landing days, and all the trials they've endured since
Tyrion: "Maybe we should have stayed married."
Sansa: "You were the best of them." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
Tyrion: "Maybe we should have stayed married."
Sansa: "You were the best of them." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
submitted by okaymkay (approved!)
53:55
(+5)
Melisandre:
Melisandre: "What do we say to to the God of Death?"
Arya: "Not today." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
Arya: "Not today." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
67:24
(+5)
Tyrion Lannister:
As the dead make their way into the Crypts, Sansa and Tyrion hide behind a tomb and share a tender moment. Tyrion kisses her hand as they pull out their weapons and join the fray.
(Warm Fuzzy Moment)
submitted by okaymkay (approved!)