Tyrion Lannister
Winter is Here
drafted by Drogons Baby Back Ribs
* +1 point each time he is denied a drink
* +1 point whenever he physically gives someone a coin (or other legal tender)
Raw Stats
| Total | Kills | Politics | Insults | Wine | Sex | Thrones | Deaths | Special | Feels |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 106 | 0 | 12 | 51 | 40 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 0 |
Event Log
Political Wins
15:01
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion overrules Missandei and Grey Worm, offering terms of compromise to the Slave Masters of Yunkai and Astapor.
"Slavery will never return to Meereen, but she will give the other cities of Slaver's Bay time to adjust to the new order. ... Instead of abolishing slavery overnight, we will give you seven years to end the practice. Slaveholders will be compensated for their losses... in exchange, you will cut off your support for the Sons of the Harpy." (Executive Decision)
"Slavery will never return to Meereen, but she will give the other cities of Slaver's Bay time to adjust to the new order. ... Instead of abolishing slavery overnight, we will give you seven years to end the practice. Slaveholders will be compensated for their losses... in exchange, you will cut off your support for the Sons of the Harpy." (Executive Decision)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
30:08
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Confirmation that the slave Masters agreed to Tyrion's slavery phase-out proposal.
Varys: "In the last fortnight since our pact with the Masters..." (Convincing Argument)
Varys: "In the last fortnight since our pact with the Masters..." (Convincing Argument)
3:23
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion convinces Daenerys to go with a less bloodthirsty response to the slavers attacking Meereen.
Daenerys: "I will crucify the Masters. I will set their fleets afire, kill every last one of their soldiers, and return their cities to the dirt. That is my plan. You don't approve?"
Tyrion: "You once told me you knew what your father was. Did you know his plans for King's Landing when the Lannister armies were at his gates? ... He had caches of wildfire hidden under the Red Keep, the Guildhalls, the Sept of Baelor, all the major thoroughfares. He would have burned every one of his citizens. The loyal ones and the traitors. Every man, woman, and child..."
Daenerys: "This is entirely different."
Tyrion: "You're talking about destroying cities. It's not entirely different. I'd like to suggest an alternate approach." (Convincing Argument)
Daenerys: "I will crucify the Masters. I will set their fleets afire, kill every last one of their soldiers, and return their cities to the dirt. That is my plan. You don't approve?"
Tyrion: "You once told me you knew what your father was. Did you know his plans for King's Landing when the Lannister armies were at his gates? ... He had caches of wildfire hidden under the Red Keep, the Guildhalls, the Sept of Baelor, all the major thoroughfares. He would have burned every one of his citizens. The loyal ones and the traitors. Every man, woman, and child..."
Daenerys: "This is entirely different."
Tyrion: "You're talking about destroying cities. It's not entirely different. I'd like to suggest an alternate approach." (Convincing Argument)
47:04
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
"I had something made for you. I'm not sure if it's right... Tyrion Lannister, I name you Hand of the Queen."
(New Title)
Insults Delivered / Funny Lines
29:17
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion with the completely uncalled-for burn on Varys.
Varys: "You walk as though the paving stones were your personal property. I used to steal from people like you when I was a boy."
Tyrion: "It's a good thing you're not a boy anymore. ... Because you have no cock." (Witty Insult)
Varys: "You walk as though the paving stones were your personal property. I used to steal from people like you when I was a boy."
Tyrion: "It's a good thing you're not a boy anymore. ... Because you have no cock." (Witty Insult)
22:03
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion: "Dragons do not do well in captivity."
Missandei: "How do you know this?"
Tyrion: "That's what I do. I drink and I know things." (Funny Line)
Missandei: "How do you know this?"
Tyrion: "That's what I do. I drink and I know things." (Funny Line)
submitted by wpearsal (approved!)
22:46
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
reasoning with Varys as he disapproves of Tyrion's alcoholism: "If I'd lost my cock, I'd drink all the time."
(Funny Line)
22:55
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
to Varys: "If I'd lost my cock, I'd drink all the time."
to Greyworm: "... meaning no offense. He makes dwarf jokes, I make eunuch jokes."
Varys: "I do NOT make dwarf jokes."
to Varys: "You think them." (gives Varys the eye) (Funny Line)
to Greyworm: "... meaning no offense. He makes dwarf jokes, I make eunuch jokes."
Varys: "I do NOT make dwarf jokes."
to Varys: "You think them." (gives Varys the eye) (Funny Line)
26:17
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
to Daenerys' imprisoned dragons: "I'm friends with your mother. I'm here to help... Don't eat the help."
(Funny Line)
28:30
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
to Varys: "Next time I have an idea like that... punch me in the face."
(Funny Line)
26:31
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion: "A wise man once said, a true history of the world is a history of great conversations in elegant rooms."
Missandei: "Who said this?"
Tyrion: "Me. Just now."
*awkward long pause*
Tyrion: "... alright, no conversations." (Funny Line)
Missandei: "Who said this?"
Tyrion: "Me. Just now."
*awkward long pause*
Tyrion: "... alright, no conversations." (Funny Line)
27:27
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
to Greyworm and Missandei: "Alright no drinking, we can play without drinking. It's a wonderful game - I invented it. Here's how it works: I make a statement about your past; if I'm wrong, I drink. And if I'm right... maybe we can't play without drinking."
(Funny Line)
16:21
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
in Valyrian to the former slaves in the Meereenese court: "Large sorry... you wait so fat time."
(Funny Line)
30:41
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
"The Sons of the Harpy have a good story: resist the foreign invaders. Our queen has an even better story. Mother of Dragons, Breaker of Chains, ...and all that."
(Funny Line)
submitted by emilien.raggi (approved!)
31:47
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
to High Priestess Kinvara: "Thank you for travelling all this way. I know from personal experience how uncomfortable the journey can be. *looks at Varys*"
(Funny Line)
9:57
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Varys: "If you shaved your beard with a straight razor, you'd say the razor worked. That doesn't mean it won't cut your throat."
Tyrion: "Spoken like a man who has never had to shave." (Witty Insult)
Tyrion: "Spoken like a man who has never had to shave." (Witty Insult)
submitted by skywalkerdude (approved!)
26:24
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Missandei: "I have tried wine before. It made me feel funny."
Tyrion: "That's how you know it's working." (Funny Line)
Tyrion: "That's how you know it's working." (Funny Line)
0:00
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion: "Everyone who makes a joke about a dwarf's height thinks he's the only person ever to make a joke about a dwarf's height. 'The height of nobility,' 'a man of your stature,' 'someone to look up to.' You're all making the same five or six jokes."
Theon: "It was a long time ago."
Tyrion: "It was. And how have things been going for you since then?" (Witty Insult)
Theon: "It was a long time ago."
Tyrion: "It was. And how have things been going for you since then?" (Witty Insult)
submitted by tibbydoscott (approved!)
9:52
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Missandei: "Our Queen insists that one of you must die as punishment for your crimes."
Tyrion: "It always seems a bit abstract, doesn't it, other people dying?" (Witty Insult)
Tyrion: "It always seems a bit abstract, doesn't it, other people dying?" (Witty Insult)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
26:44
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Theon Greyjoy: "I didn't murder the Stark boys. But I did things that were just as bad or worse."
Yara Greyjoy: "And he paid for them."
Tyrion: "Doesn't seem like it. He's still alive." (Witty Insult)
Yara Greyjoy: "And he paid for them."
Tyrion: "Doesn't seem like it. He's still alive." (Witty Insult)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
27:09
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Daenerys: "...I expect you want me to support your claim to the throne of the Iron Islands?"
Theon: "Not my claim. Hers."
Daenerys: "And what's wrong with you?"
Theon: "I'm not fit to rule."
Tyrion: "We can agree upon that at least." (Witty Insult)
Theon: "Not my claim. Hers."
Daenerys: "And what's wrong with you?"
Theon: "I'm not fit to rule."
Tyrion: "We can agree upon that at least." (Witty Insult)
Glasses of Wine Consumed
23:19
(+5)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion drinks during the meeting of the Meereenese council.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
24:46
(+5)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion downs glass #2 as he devises a plan to get the dragons to eat during the Meereenese council meeting.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
26:06
(+5)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion drinks while making smalltalk with Greyworm and Missandei before the Meereenese council meeting.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
27:08
(+5)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion drinks from his refill as he, Grey Worm, and Missandei continue to wait for Varys at the Meereenese council meeting.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
13:28
(+5)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion drinks wine at the beginning of the negotiations with the slave masters of Astapor and Yunkai.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
31:13
(+5)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion drinks while discussing a PR strategy for the brokered peace agreement during the Meerenese council meeting.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
27:23
(+5)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion refills and drinks while fantasizing about retirement as a winemaker. "One day, after our Queen has taken the Seven Kingdoms, I'd like to have my own vineyard. Make my own wine. The Imp's Delight. Only my close friends could drink it."
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
Special
29:58
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion gives a coin to the Meereenese homeless woman and her baby to feed themselves.
(Special)