Matchup: The Pook who was Promised vs Tyrion's priapism for Ep 8

Fantasy League of Fantasy adaptation of Fantasy series

The Pook who was Promised (lolikaj)

Character	Drafted	Total	Kills	Insults	Wine	Sex	Deaths	Special
Sandor Clegane (The Hound) A fearsome warrior known as the Hound. Sandor formerly served in the Kingsguard of Joffrey Baratheon and accompanied Arya Stark on her travels. He was left for dead after a fight with Brienne of Tarth.	-	53	28	15	5	5	0	0
Varys Formerly the Master of Whisperers in King's Landing, Varys controls a vast network of spies. After smuggling Tyrion Lannister to Essos, he reveals himself as a supporter of Daenerys Targaryen's claim to the Iron Throne. In Daenerys' absence, he serves with Tyrion Lannister and presides over the rule of Meereen.	#22	3	0	0	0	0	0	3
Bran Stark The fourth of the Stark children. A greenseer and a warg, Bran has mystical visions of the future and the ability to leap into the minds of others to control them - power he is only beginning to tap into. His journeys north of the Wall have recently led him to the cave of the Three-eyed Raven and the Children of the Forest.	#14	1	0	0	0	0	1	0
Daenerys Targaryen The last royal member of the Targaryen dynasty, Daenerys and her three dragons have carved out a revolutionary empire in the east, liberating several slave cities and acquiring an army of Unsullied warriors. Her recent rule over the slave city of Meereen has been met with strife, however, and she currently finds herself lost with her largest dragon, Drogon, in Dothraki territory.	#3	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
Theon Greyjoy Heir to the Iron Islands, and formerly a ward of House Stark. Theon has been broken through torture by the hands of Ramsay Bolton, but has escaped Winterfell along with Sansa Stark during the chaos of the Battle of Winterfell.	#6	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
Melisandre A Red Priestess from Asshai, Melisandre served as a close advisor to Stannis Baratheon until she abandoned his cause at the Battle of Winterfell against the Boltons.	#19	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
Totals		57	28	15	5	5	1	3

Tyrion's priapism (stopst01)

Character	Drafted	Total	Politics	Insults	Wine	Deaths	Special
Jaime Lannister The second of the Lannister children, he is Cersei's lover and twin brother, and also the father of her three bastard children, the supposed sons and daughters of the late King Robert Baratheon. He also serves as Lord Commander of the Kingsguard, and recently returns from a mission to Dorne to rescue his daughter/niece, Myrcella Baratheon.	#4	24	12	9	0	0	3
Cersei Lannister Queen Regent of the Seven Kingdoms and mother to King Tommen. Afflicted by a rare water allergy.	#5	8	0	3	5	0	0
Kevan Lannister The younger brother of the late Tywin Lannister, Lord of Casterly Rock. Often underestimated as his brother's inferior, Kevan is one of the few in King's Landing who is not afraid to stand up against Cersei Lannister's schemes. With Cersei's imprisonment, he has returned to serve as Hand of the King to the young King Tommen Baratheon.	-	3	0	3	0	0	0
Khal Moro The leader of a new Khalasar of Dothraki.	#20	1	0	0	0	1	0
Margaery Tyrell The wife of King Tommen Baratheon and Queen of the Seven Kingdoms. Her increasing influence over the young king have put at her odds against his mother, Cersei Lannister.	#13	0	0	0	0	0	0
Petyr Baelish (Littlefinger) Formerly the Master of Coin, Littlefinger is a conniving political mastermind and serves as Warden of the East after his behind-the-scenes assassination of Lisa Tully.	#12	0	0	0	0	0	0
Totals		36	12	15	5	1	3

Kills

8:47 (+6) Sandor Clegane (The Hound):

The Hound kills three of the bandits sitting in camp, decapitating the first, cleaving the second in the chest, and slitting the throat of the third with his woodchopping axe. (Kill of Unnamed Character)

9:15 (+10) Sandor Clegane (The Hound):

Sandor cuts down Gatins with his axe, after failing to extract information on the whereabouts of the bandit with the yellow cloak. (Kill of Named Character)

46:22 (+2) Sandor Clegane (The Hound):

Sandor kicks over a tree stump being stood on by the bandit, strangling him on the noose.
Thoros of Myr: "You're getting old, Clegane."
Sandor: "He's not." (Kill of Unnamed Character)

46:26 (+10) Sandor Clegane (The Hound):

Sandor kicks over the tree stump being stood on by Lem Lemoncloak, strangling him on the noose. (Kill of Named Character)

Political Wins

35:31 (+3) Jaime Lannister:

Jaime successfully convinces Edmure Tully to comply with his plan to retake Riverrun, sending him to the gates to ask for entry. (Convincing Argument)

40:00 (+3) Jaime Lannister:

Jaime is victorious in the Siege of Riverrun after his Trojan Horse, Edmure Tully, gains access to the castle and willingly opens his gates to the Lannister army. (Victorious Battle)

41:19 (+3) Jaime Lannister:

Jaime captures the castle of Riverrun. (Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)

41:50 (+3) Jaime Lannister:

While watching from the ramparts of the newly-acquired Riverrun, Jaime spots Brienne and Podrick rowing away from the castle under the cover of night. (Secret Discovery)

submitted by nsimmonds (approved!)

OH COME ON -alicehanners

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2016 Jun 15
She fucking waves at him, it was no secret -alicehanners

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2016 Jun 15
Is standing on the ramparts the kind of detective work that qualifies a secret discovery? -alicehanners

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2016 Jun 15
Will watch the scene again, but iirc Brienne and Pod have an unsure face, and then Jaime gives the hand wave indicating he won't chase them, which they reciprocate. It doesn't seem like they planned to be spotted (else they could have just waited for Jaime and walked out the front gates). -nyan

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2016 Jun 15
Same as an accidental kill (or accidental anything), you don't have to actively be gunning for points. Sometimes you just luck into them. -nyan

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2016 Jun 15
He first discovers them by chance and only after he waves at them does she wave back, it's not like she announced their departure (which was most definitely supposed to be in secret) to him -Laxis

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2016 Jun 15

Insults Delivered / Funny Lines

9:04 (+3) Sandor Clegane (The Hound):

Gatins: "Fuck you!"
Sandor: "Those are your last words, 'fuck you'? Come on, you can do better."
Gatins: "Cunt!"
Sandor: "You're shit at dying, you know that?" (Witty Insult)

12:53 (+3) Cersei Lannister:

Lancel Lannister: "Order your man (Gregor Clegane) to step aside, or there will be violence."
Cersei: "... I choose violence." (Threat)

This is certainly a threat on Lancel's part as well, is responding to a threat really a threat itself? -alicehanners

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2016 Jun 13 given.brian and jshragie like this
Lancel's line was an ordinary threat, Cersei's was a cold-blooded comeback. -nyan

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2016 Jun 13
Countering a threat with your own threat makes for more threats, as is just and true for Westeros. -dopeghoti

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2016 Jun 13 Ser Vincent likes this
Oh please, its only a cold-blooded comeback because it's Cersei. Lancel said "call him off or we will have to fight him." And she said "so fight him".

If his isn't a threat, hers definitely isn't. I think you are being way too personally subjective about threats -alicehanners

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2016 Jun 15 jedjackoway likes this
It feels like it hasn't been clear what the insults/threats/funny category is. It is never meant to score literally everything that can be construed as insulting/threatening, but is intended to reward the characters who are charismatic, and deliver the well-worded jabs.

Think about a rap battle. Literally every single line spoken by either participant is going to be "insulting". But only the best of those lines - insults with wit, cleverness, or highly-relevant comebacks - are the ones that illicit the "ooohs" and "BURNN!!" and "BAH GAWD that man had a FAMILY!" reactions from the audience. Those are the lines this category is trying to reward. -nyan

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2016 Jun 17
I think you can make a case for Cersei's line being below the bar - it's far from the best line in this episode (though I think there are wore ones, personally). But Lancel's line is an absolutely pedestrian threat, wording-wise, and does not fit into the purpose of this category. I cannot imagine a single viewer having a "Goddamnn I can't believe Lancel just said that" reaction to that scene. -nyan

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2016 Jun 17

16:31 (+3) Jaime Lannister:

on Sansa Stark: "In my experience, girls like her don't live very long." (Witty Insult)

22:54 (+3) Kevan Lannister:

Kevan: "Where are you going?"
Cersei Lannister: "To stand by my son."
Kevan: "Your place is in the gallery. With the other ladies of the court."

Read more at: http://transcripts.foreverdreaming.org/viewtopic.php?f=67&t=27550 (Witty Insult)

submitted by dclark51 (approved!)

31:18 (+3) Jaime Lannister:

Edmure Tully: "Do you imagine yourself a decent person? ... After you've massacred my family. Kept me in a cell for years. Stolen our lands."
Jaime: "I'll remind you that our houses are at war. I'm sorry if this conflict has inconvenienced you, but rebelling against the Crown does have consequences." (Witty Insult)

34:35 (+3) Jaime Lannister:

to Edmure Tully: "I'll send for your baby boy. And I'll launch him into Riverrun with a catapult. Because you don't matter to me, Lord Edmure. Your son doesn't matter to me. The people in the castle don't matter to me. Only Cersei." (Threat)

45:14 (+3) Sandor Clegane (The Hound):

to Anguy: "Drop that arrow, you bloody girl. Tougher girls than you have tried to kill me." (Witty Insult)

45:46 (+3) Sandor Clegane (The Hound):

Thoros of Myr: "We're not butchers. We hang them."
Sandor: "Hanging? All over in an instant. Where's the punishment in that?"
Thoros: "They die."
Sandor: "We all bloody die. Except this one here (Beric Dondarrion)." (Funny Line)

46:46 (+3) Sandor Clegane (The Hound):

Sandor: "There was a time I would have killed all seven of you just to gut these three."
Thoros: "You're getting old, Clegane."
Sandor: "He's not." *kicks over stump to hang bandit* (Witty Insult)

47:11 (+3) Sandor Clegane (The Hound):

Beric Dondarrion: "Enjoying yourself?"
Sandor: "I prefer chicken." (Funny Line)

Glasses of Wine Consumed

11:15 (+5) Cersei Lannister:

Cersei drinks in her chambers as Qyburn arrives to deliver a request from the Faith Militant. (Glass of Wine Consumed)

47:20 (+5) Sandor Clegane (The Hound):

Sandor takes a swig from a wineskin handed to him by Thoros of Myr. (Glass of Wine Consumed)

Acts of Intercourse

47:56 (+5) Sandor Clegane (The Hound):

Sandor whips it out to single-handedly replenish the Riverlands. (Non-sexual Nude Scene)

Deaths

+1 for Bran Stark, +1 for Khal Moro

Special

9:57 (+3) Varys:

Varys: "If you shaved your beard with a straight razor, you'd say the razor worked. That doesn't mean it won't cut your throat."
Tyrion: "Spoken like a man who has never had to shave." (Special)

submitted by alexanderdropkin (approved!)

42:09 (+3) Jaime Lannister:

after spotting them from the castle wall, Jaime waves to Brienne and Podrick as they row away from Riverrun. (Special)

submitted by andres.geurts (approved!)

8 more comments - see full thread

And i believe that anytime that hand moves without him walking is awkward -golub.jake

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2016 Jun 15
My original message was meant to be placed in the political points column. My bad. I still think those political points are an absolute joke though. Definitely agree with the hand wave though. -cls112

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2016 Jun 16
@cls112, which political points were you referring to? -nyan

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2016 Jun 16

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