Matchup: The Fat Pink Masters vs the (Wooden) Sword of the Morning for Ep 1

/r/asoiaf

The Fat Pink Masters (lawhonjoel)

Character	Drafted	Total	Insults	Special
Tormund Giantsbane Formerly a lieutenant of Mance Rayder, the King beyond the Wall, Tormund is now the de facto leader of the Wildlings and a reasoned voice in rallying them behind the cause of Jon Snow.	#15	12	6	6
Archmaester Ebrose Archmaester at the Citadel in Oldtown, where new Maesters are trained.	#46	9	3	6
Sansa Stark The second eldest of the Stark children. After being held as a prisoner of House Bolton, Sansa managed to escape and, with the help of Jon Snow and the Knights of the Vale, defeated Ramsay Bolton to reclaim Winterfell for the Starks. She is a huge fan of lemon cakes.	#6	6	6	0
High Priestess of the Dosh Khaleen A priestess who leads the Dosh Khaleen, the widows of slain khals who preside over the holy city of Vaes Dothrak.	#66	0	0	0
Nymeria Sand One of Oberyn Martell's bastards, known as Sand Snakes. She's into whips.	#35	0	0	0
Anguy A skilled archer from the Stormlands - he is a member of the Brotherhood Without Banners, led by Beric Dondarrion.	#55	0	0	0
Jorah Mormont The exiled head of House Mormont. Jorah was previously one of Daenerys Targaryen's most trusted advisors before his banishment and subsequent infection with the fatal greyscale disease. As Daenerys leaves for Westeros, he wanders Essos in search of a cure.	#26	0	0	0
Ser Boros Blount A member of the Kingsguard.	#75	0	0	0
Totals		27	15	12

the (Wooden) Sword of the Morning (ben.j.duly)

Character	Drafted	Total	Politics	Insults
Jon Snow Recently declared King in the North, he is the bastard son of Ned Stark, and formerly served as Lord Commander of the Night's Watch before he was betrayed by his fellow men.	#3	12	9	3
Beric Dondarrion Lord of Blackhaven, bannermen to House Baratheon. He leads the Brotherhood Without Banners, an outlaw fighting group in the Riverlands.	#18	3	3	0
Jaqen H'ghar The leader of the Faceless Men of Braavos, and a skilled assassin. He trains Arya to become an assassin in the House of Black and White, although she later leaves his training to return to Westeros.	#43	0	0	0
Yezzan zo Qaggaz (slave trader) A slave trader from Yunkai. He briefly owns Jorah Mormont, who he brings to the fighting pits of Meereen, and is present during the slavers' attack on Meereen. He is the only slave master spared by Daenerys, who sends him to Astapor with a message for those who would oppose the Mother of Dragons.	#58	0	0	0
Varys Formerly the Master of Whisperers in King's Landing, Varys now pulls the political strings for Daenerys Targaryen, arranging alliances with the Westerosi Houses Tyrell and Martell. He controls a vast network of spies.	#23	0	0	0
Gilly A wildling who lived north of the Wall. After she befriended Samwell Tarly, she escaped with him to Castle Black, and has sailed to Oldtown with Samwell as he begins his Maester's training.	#38	0	0	0
Alys Karstark	#78	0	0	0
Hot Pie An orphan from King's Landing. He works at the Inn at the Crossroads as a baker.	#63	0	0	0
Totals		15	12	3

Political Wins

12:31 (+3) Jon Snow:

Jon refuses to strip the Umbers and Karstarks of their castles for Smalljon and Harald's treasonous siding with Ramsay Bolton, despite the objections from Sansa and the other Northern lords.

"...I will not punish a son for his father's sins, and I will not take a family home away from a family it has belonged to for centuries.
That is my decision, and my decision is final." (Executive Decision)

13:14 (+6) Jon Snow:

Jon receives pledges of loyalty from Ned Umber and Alys Karstark, the new heads of their respective houses after Smalljon Umber and Harald Karstark died in the Battle of Winterfell. (New Follower/Prisoner)

45:38 (+3) Beric Dondarrion:

While looking into Thoros' flames, Sandor Clegane discovers the location of the planned White Walker invasion - Eastwatch-by-the-Sea - a secret which Beric seems to already be aware of.
---
Sandor Clegane: "Ice. A wall of ice. The Wall. ... It's where the Wall meets the sea. There's a castle there. There's a mountain. Looks like an arrowhead. The dead are marching past. Thousands of them."
Beric: "Do you believe me now, Clegane?" (Secret Discovery)

Insults Delivered / Funny Lines

10:45 (+3) Tormund Giantsbane:

"Looks like we're the Night's Watch now." (Funny Line)

submitted by alicehanners (approved!)

14:58 (+3) Jon Snow:

Sansa Stark: "They respect you, they really do, but you have to- Why are you laughing?"
Jon Snow: "What did father used to say? Everything before the word 'but' is horse shit." (Witty Insult)

submitted by andrei.sias (approved!)

29:57 (+3) Archmaester Ebrose:

Samwell Tarly: "I was wondering if you had considered my proposition."
Archmaester Ebrose: "I don't remember your proposition."
Samwell: "I asked you if, in light of what I've seen in the North, if I could have access to the restricted area of the library."
Ebrose: "That area is reserved for Maesters. Are you a maester?"
Samwell: "No."
Ebrose: "Not a very strong proposition, is it?" (Funny Line)

33:59 (+3) Tormund Giantsbane:

"You're a lucky man." - to Podrick after he gets knocked down by Brienne during sparring practice. (Funny Line)

34:47 (+3) Sansa Stark:

Petyr Baelish: "Why aren't you happy? What do you want that you do not have?"
Sansa Stark: "At the moment, peace and quiet."
(Witty Insult)

34:54 (+3) Sansa Stark:

"No need to seize the last word, Lord Baelish. I'll assume it was something clever." (Witty Insult)

submitted by xdwxrd (approved!)

Special

30:03 (+6) Archmaester Ebrose:

Samwell Tarly: "I asked you if, in light of what I've seen in the North, if I could have access to the restricted area of the library."
Ebrose: "That area is reserved for Maesters. Are you a Maester?"
Samwell: "No."
Ebrose: "Not a very strong proposition, is it?" (Special)

submitted by nyan (approved!)

33:49 (+3) Tormund Giantsbane:

Tormund eyes Brienne on the grounds of Winterfell as she spars with Podrick. (Special)

7 more comments - see full thread

But you don't count major wounds being inflicted in the act of killing. One gaze per reasonable amount of time would make sense? That way if there's a really long group scene and he might be able to get 2-3 significant gazes in there, but glancing away and then back to her shouldn't count as multiple gazes. It's more like quick breaks in one "act" of gazing at her -cfitzgerald

Warning: date(): It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected the timezone 'UTC' for now, but please set date.timezone to select your timezone. in /var/www/html/fantasora.com/public_html/src/Util/TimeUtil.php on line 10
2017 Jul 19 sanford likes this
still see 3 gazes last one he watched her walk away -thomasindeglia

Warning: date(): It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected the timezone 'UTC' for now, but please set date.timezone to select your timezone. in /var/www/html/fantasora.com/public_html/src/Util/TimeUtil.php on line 10
2017 Jul 19 kimberly.ramia and Laxis like this
3 Gazes -derekjjjj

Warning: date(): It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected the timezone 'UTC' for now, but please set date.timezone to select your timezone. in /var/www/html/fantasora.com/public_html/src/Util/TimeUtil.php on line 10
2017 Jul 19 kimberly.ramia and Laxis like this

34:02 (+3) Tormund Giantsbane:

After Tormund speaks to Podrick, he returns his gaze to Brienne and approaches her. (Special)

submitted by nyan (approved!)

9 more comments - see full thread

Give him the extra. 1 because its funny and they belong together 2 because I have a feeling he dies early defending this castle he was sent to -thomasindeglia

Warning: date(): It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected the timezone 'UTC' for now, but please set date.timezone to select your timezone. in /var/www/html/fantasora.com/public_html/src/Util/TimeUtil.php on line 10
2017 Jul 19
"2 because I have a feeling he dies early defending this castle he was sent to"

:'(
-alicehanners

Warning: date(): It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected the timezone 'UTC' for now, but please set date.timezone to select your timezone. in /var/www/html/fantasora.com/public_html/src/Util/TimeUtil.php on line 10
2017 Jul 19
Okay, the votes have spoken! Tormund's special will be per-gaze. We'll count a separate gaze if it's been interrupted by some event, like Tormund did here in talking to Podrick. But it needs to be a more substantial pause than blinking or being distracted for a couple of seconds. -nyan

Warning: date(): It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected the timezone 'UTC' for now, but please set date.timezone to select your timezone. in /var/www/html/fantasora.com/public_html/src/Util/TimeUtil.php on line 10
2017 Jul 20

©
Warning: date(): It is not safe to rely on the system's timezone settings. You are *required* to use the date.timezone setting or the date_default_timezone_set() function. In case you used any of those methods and you are still getting this warning, you most likely misspelled the timezone identifier. We selected the timezone 'UTC' for now, but please set date.timezone to select your timezone. in /var/www/html/fantasora.com/public_html/templates/footer.php on line 2
2025 Nathan Yan

Release 1.8.7 | Legalese