Results for Episode 1: The Red Woman

Stat Leaders

Insults Delivered / Funny Lines Points
6
3
3
3
3
Acts of Intercourse Points
20
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- -
Deaths Points
5
5
5
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Leaderboard Graph

Episode 1: The Red Woman

Kills
Brienne cuts down the first Bolton soldier on horseback as she and Podrick rush in to save Sansa Stark. "It's a bloody woman!" (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Brienne cuts down the second Bolton soldier who stupidly dismounts his horse to engage an enemy he's knocked to the ground. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Brienne cuts down the horse of a Bolton soldier, pinning the soldier's leg (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Podrick stabs a Bolton soldier through the chest as he and Brienne charge in to rescue Sansa Stark. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Brienne ruthlessly slits the throat of a Bolton soldier pinned under his own horse. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Theon stabs a Bolton soldier through the back while he is battling Podrick Payne. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
26:48 (+10) Tyene Sand:
Tyene pulls out a dagger to stab Areo Hotah in the back, as Ellaria Martell begins her overthrow of the Martells. (Kill of Named Character)
Ellaria stabs Doran Martell as she overthrows the royal family of Dorne. "When was the last time you left this palace? You don't know your own people. Their disgust for you. Elia Martell raped and murdered, and you did nothing. Oberyn Martell butchered, and you did nothing. You're not a Dornishman. You're not our Prince." (Kill of Named Character)
Tyene takes the dagger from Areo Hotah's back and throws it at Doran Martell's fleeing messenger. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
28:42 (+10) Obara Sand:
Obara stabs Trystane through the face after he turns his back on her to face Nymeria Sand one-on-one. (Kill of Named Character)
Jorah and Daario discover the charred bones of a ram out on the hills near the Dothraki sea. It appears to be Drogon's work.

Daario: "You think our friend got him?"
Jorah: "Don't know anything else that can melt a ram's horn."
Daario: "We're on the right path, then."
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
submitted by alicehanners (approved!)
42:41 (+1) The Waif:
The Waif beats the crap out of blind Arya on the streets of Braavos.
Arya: "I can't see."
Waif: That's your problem, not mine."
(Minor Injury of Named Character)
Political Wins
Ser Alliser defends his treason against Lord Commander Jon Snow, and convinces the Night's Watch to side with him.

"You're right! We've committed treason, all of us. Jon Snow was my Lord Commander. I had no love for him. That was no secret. But I never once disobeyed an order. Loyalty is the foundation on which the Night's Watch is built. And the Watch means everything to me. I have given my life, we have all given our lives to the Night's Watch. Jon Snow was going to destroy the Night's Watch ... He thrust a terrible choice upon us. And we made it."
(Convincing Argument)
Alliser takes over as de facto Commander of the Night's Watch after explaining his mutinous actions to kill Jon Snow, and winning over the crowd. (New Title)
Ser Davos convinces Edd to seek help from the Wildlings instead of throwing his life away in an attack against Alliser Thorne. "You're not the only ones who owe your lives to Jon Snow. (Convincing Argument)
Given a redo, Lady Sansa finally accepts Brienne of Tarth into her service as a knight.
Brienne: "Lady Sansa, I offer my services once again. I will shield your back and keep your counsel and give my life for yours if need be. I swear it, by the Old Gods and the New."
Sansa: "And I vow... that you shall always have a place by my... hearth. and..."
Podrick assist" Meat and mead at my table."
Sansa: "...meat and mead at my table. And I pledge to ask no service of you that might bring you dishonor. I swear it by the Old Gods and the New. Arise."
(New Follower/Prisoner)
After saving her from capture by the Bolton soldiers, Brienne finally convinces Sansa Stark to accept her protection.
Brienne: "Lady Sansa, I offer my services once again. I will shield your back and keep your counsel and give my life for yours if need be. I swear it, by the Old Gods and the New."
Sansa: "And I vow... that you shall always have a place by my... hearth. and..."
Podrick assist" Meat and mead at my table."
Sansa: "...meat and mead at my table. And I pledge to ask no service of you that might bring you dishonor. I swear it by the Old Gods and the New. Arise."
(Convincing Argument)
submitted by moonbaseu92 (approved!)
Tyene betrays Doran Martell, killing his bodyguard Areo Hotah as the first strike in Ellaria Sand's coup d'état of Dorne. (Act of Betrayal)
Ellaria betrays Doran Martell, stabbing him to death as she overthrows the royal family of Dorne.
Doran Martell: "My son... Trystane."
Ellaria: "Your son is weak, just like you. And weak men will never rule Dorne again."
(Act of Betrayal)
Ellaria performs a coups d'état and seizes control of Dorne after assassinating Doran and Trystane Martell.
Doran Martell: "My son... Trystane."
Ellaria: "Your son is weak, just like you. And weak men will never rule Dorne again."
(Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
Obara and Nymeria arrive on the Dornish ship to assassinate Trystane.
Obara: "We're not here to feed you. We're here to kill you."
Nymeria: "You want her to do it? Or me?
(Act of Betrayal)
Obara and Nymeria arrive on the Dornish ship to assassinate Trystane.
Obara: "We're not here to feed you. We're here to kill you."
Nymeria: "You want her to do it? Or me?
(Act of Betrayal)
Daenerys is presented as a prisoner to Khal Moro after she is captured by his Dothraki horde. "For you, my Khal. The white-haired girl we found in the hills." (New Follower/Prisoner)
Daenerys convinces Khal Moro to not rape her by mentioning that she is the widow of Khal Drogo.
Daenerys: "I was wife to Khal Dorgo, son of Khal Bharbo."
Khal Moro: "Khal Drogo is dead."
Daenerys: " I know. I burnt his body."
Khal Moro: "Forgive me. I did not know. It is forbidden to lie with a Khal's widow. No one will touch you. You have my word."
(Convincing Argument)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Insults Delivered / Funny Lines
to Ramsay: "Without Sansa, you won't be able to produce an heir. And without an heir, well... let's hope the Maesters are right and Lady Walda's carrying a boy." (Threat)
submitted by moonbaseu92 (approved!)
Margery: "I am the Queen and I demand to see my brother."
Unella: "Sinners do not make demands. They make confessions"
(Comeback)
submitted by smarlow13 (approved!)
Doran Martell: "My son, Trystane..."
Ellaria: "Your son is weak, just like you. And weak men will never rule Dorne again."
(Witty Insult)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Tyrion with the completely uncalled-for burn on Varys.
Varys: "You walk as though the paving stones were your personal property. I used to steal from people like you when I was a boy."
Tyrion: "It's a good thing you're not a boy anymore. ... Because you have no cock."
(Witty Insult)
29:48 (+3) Varys:
Tyrion to homeless mother: "For your baby. To eat." [makes stuffing motion into mouth]
Varys. "She thinks you want to eat her baby."
(Funny Line)
to Jorah: "You're a romantic. I admire that. Sometimes I look at you and I think - 'so that's what I'll be like when I grow old.'" (Witty Insult)
36:25 (+3) Aggo:
Qhono: "You think she (Daenerys) has got white pussy hair too? You ever been with a girl with white pussy hair?"
Ahko: "Only when I was fucking your grandma."
(Witty Insult)
36:38 (+3) Qhono:
Ahko: "Pretty eyes, but she's an idiot."
Qhono: "She doesn't have to be smart to get fucked in the ass."
(Witty Insult)
Khal Moro: "Seeing a beautiful woman naked for the first time, what is better than that?"
Bloodrider 1: "Killing another Khal?"
Khal Moro: "Yes, killing another Khal."
Bloodrider 2: "Conquering a city and taking her people as slaves, and taking her idols back to Vaes Dothrak."
Bloodrider 1: "Breaking a wild horse, forcing it to submit to your will."
Khal Moro: "Seeing a beautiful woman naked for the first time is among the five best things in life."
(Funny Line)
Khal Moro reorts to Daenerys rattling off her many titles after being taking prisoner: "You are nobody, the millionth of your name, Queen of Nothing, slave of Khal Moro." (Witty Insult)
Alliser Thorne: "And you, Ser Davos, I will allow you to travel south. A free man, with a fresh horse."
Davos: "And some mutton. I'd like some mutton."
Alliser: "Wot?"
(Funny Line)
Night's Watchman: "Edd is our only chance.
Steve Cash: "It's a sad fucking statement if Dolorous Edd is our only chance."
(Funny Line)
Deaths
Areo Hotah dies from a dagger to the back from Tyene Sand, as Ellaria Sand launches her coup d'état of Dorne. (Death)
Doran Martell bleeds out after being stabbed by Ellaria Sand. "When was the last time you left this palace? You don't know your own people. Their disgust for you. Elia Martell raped and murdered, and you did nothing. Oberyn Martell butchered, and you did nothing. You're not a Dornishman. You're not our Prince." (Death)
Special
Roose gives Ramsay a lecture that it is marriages and political acumen that establish dynasties, not winning on the battlefield.

"Do you feel like a victor? I rebelled against the crown to arrange your marriage to Sansa Stark. Do you think that burning wagons in the night and mowing down tired, outnumbered Baratheons is the same as facing a prepared and provisioned Lannister army?"
(Special)
Doran 'Professor X' Martell turns out to not actually be a wheelchair-bound cripple at all - apparently he was just too lazy to walk anywhere during any part of S5. He takes thirty-two slow, gimpy steps along the way to his wheelchair. Then decides to adjust his dangling right foot for good measure, before fully sitting down.

5 steps in initial overhead scene (25:35)
7 steps to get up the stairs (25:40)
8 steps to the next set of stairs (25:47)
9 steps to the wheelchair (25:55)
3 steps to get in the wheelchair (26:06)
1 step to get his last dangling foot onto the wheelchair (26:11)
(Special)
29:17 (+3) Varys:
Tyrion references Varys' eunuch status in his comeback.
Varys: "You walk as though the paving stones were your personal property. I used to steal from people like you when I was a boy."
Tyrion: "It's a good thing you're not a boy anymore. ... Because you have no cock."
(Special)
Daario Naharis calls out Jorah's friendzone status like he sees it:
Jorah: "I've been all over the world. There's no escaping men like us."
Daario: "There's no escaping her, eh? You keep coming back. Why?"
Jorah: "You know why."
Daario: "Isn't it frustrating wanting someone who doesn't want you back?"
(Special)