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I am no one | Fantasora

I am no one

Eyrie Hodor (Public #410)

Owner: jennyrath

5-5, 22 roto pts (#2)
Z-Score: -0.14 (percentile: 44.45%)
Weeks at #1: 1
Categories won: Deaths (185), Special (150)
Best Week: Episode 1: The Red Woman (+4.5 roto points)
Team MVP: Jon Snow (picked #10, 185 points, 24.5% of team total)
Longest winstreak: W-2

Roster Stats

Character Drafted Total Kills Politics Insults Wine Sex Thrones Deaths Special Feels
The bastard son of Ned Stark, and the current Lord Commander of the Night's Watch. After guiding the Wildlings to safety in the aftermath of the Battle of Castle Black and the attack on Hardhome, he was betrayed by a mutiny of the Night's Watch, and left for dead in the snow.
#10 185 85 42 12 5 5 0 0 36 0
The head of House Martell of Dorne, and elder brother of Prince Oberyn Martell.
#2 118 0 0 0 0 0 0 19 99 0
The elderly Lord of the Twins and now Lord of Riverrun after his betrayal of Robb Stark and the Northern forces.
#39 40 0 9 6 15 0 0 10 0 0
Ser Davos is a knight serving Stannis Baratheon, and one of his most trusted advisors. He is often at odds with the Red Priestess Melisandre.
#15 36 0 15 21 0 0 0 0 0 0
Known as the Blackfish, Brynden is the uncle of Catelyn Stark and Edmure Tully. He escaped the events of the Red Wedding, but his whereabouts are unknown.
#103 33 0 6 15 0 0 0 12 0 0
She is the leading actress in a Braavosi play depicting the political events of Westeros, portraying Cersei Lannister. (played by Essie Davis)
#87 31 5 3 3 5 0 0 12 3 0
First Ranger of the Night's Watch - in S1 he disappeared on a ranging north of the Wall and his whereabouts since then are unknown.
#98 30 16 0 0 0 0 0 14 0 0
A skilled fighter and heir to House Tarth. A sworn sword to the late Catelyn Stark, she continues her mission to ensure the safety of the Stark girls.
#7 29 8 6 9 0 0 0 0 6 0
The youngest of the Stark children. He splits off from Bran and travels with Osha to the Last Hearth, seat of House Umber.
#55 28 0 0 0 0 0 0 28 0 0
A former master-of-arms and acting Commander of the Night's Watch, Thorne narrowly lost the Lord Commander choosing to Jon Snow in S5. He later led a mutiny of disgruntled Night's Watch members against Jon Snow, stabbing and leaving him for dead.
#31 26 0 6 0 0 0 0 17 3 0
Samwell Tarly's disapproving father. He is the Lord of House Tarly, and was one of the greatest soldiers in Westeros.
#42 26 0 9 12 5 0 0 0 0 0
The personal bodyguard for Doran Martell.
#50 19 0 0 0 0 0 0 19 0 0
The former paramour of Prince Oberyn. She is also the mother of several of his bastard children, known as the Sand Snakes, and plots revenge against the Lannisters for Oberyn's death.
#18 19 10 6 3 0 0 0 0 0 0
A cousin to the Lannister children. In a past life he was a stuttering servant to King Robert Baratheon and secret consort to his cousin Queen Cersei Lannister. Lancel now serves as a leading member of the Sparrows, a dangerously militant religious group whose power over King's Landing is growing.
#34 18 5 3 0 0 0 0 10 0 0
An orphan boy of the Night's Watch, and a squire for Lord Commander Jon Snow. He is part of the mutiny that betrays Jon and leaves him for dead.
#58 17 0 0 0 0 0 0 17 0 0
The First Steward of the Night's Watch. He is part of the mutiny that betrays Jon Snow and leaves him for dead.
#90 17 0 0 0 0 0 0 17 0 0
The younger brother of the late Tywin Lannister, Lord of Casterly Rock. Often underestimated as his brother's inferior, Kevan is one of the few in King's Landing who is not afraid to stand up against Cersei Lannister's schemes. With Cersei's imprisonment, he has returned to serve as Hand of the King to the young King Tommen Baratheon.
#66 16 0 3 3 0 0 0 10 0 0
The youngest of Oberyn Martell's bastard children, known as the Sand Snakes. She uses daggers and poisons as her weapons.
#47 15 12 3 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
A freed slave from Astapor, who serves Daenerys as an advisor and translator.
#26 14 0 0 6 5 0 0 0 3 0
A knight and the head of House Clegane, bannermen to the Lannisters. He defeated Prince Oberyn Martell in a trial by combat for Tyrion Lannister's role in King Joffrey's death, although he was gravely injured in the fight. He appears to have recovered (in some form) under Grand Maester Qyburn's care, and returns to serve as a member of the Kingsguard.
#23 9 9 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
A Red Priest from the city of Myr - he is a member of the Brotherhood Without Banners, led by Beric Dondarrion.
#106 8 0 0 3 5 0 0 0 0 0
A slave trader from Yunkai. He briefly owns Jorah Mormont, who he brings to the fighting pits of Meereen.
#111 8 0 3 0 0 5 0 0 0 0
The manager of an acting troupe in Braavos. He plays Robert Baratheon in a play depicting the political events of Westeros.
#71 8 0 0 3 5 0 0 0 0 0
Samwell's younger, more physically formidable brother. He is the heir to House Tarly after Samwell was sent by his father to join the Night's Watch.
#74 5 0 0 0 5 0 0 0 0 0
A priestess who leads the Dosh Khaleen, the widows of slain khals who preside over the holy city of Vaes Dothrak.
#79 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Leader of the Storm Crows, one of the hill tribes living in the west of the Vale.
#127 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Magister of Pentos, one of the free cities of Essos. He hosted the exiled Viserys and Daenerys Targaryen.
#119 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
The incestuous son of Gilly and her father Craster. He travels with Gilly as she accompanies Samwell Tarly to Oldtown.
#95 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
The father of Lord Eddard Stark. He was burned alive by the Mad King, Aerys Targaryen, which led to the Stark and Baratheon rebellion that overthrew the Targaryen dynasty.
#82 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
A skilled archer from the Stormlands - he is a member of the Brotherhood Without Banners, led by Beric Dondarrion.
#122 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
The High Septon is formerly the leader of the Faith of the Seven. He was disgraced after the arrival of the Sparrows, and his position was stripped by Cersei and given to the High Sparrow.
#63 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
An actress who plays Margaery Tyrell in a Braavosi play about the political events of Westeros.
#114 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Totals 755 150 114 96 50 10 0 185 150 0

Roster

charId Character Special
185
The head of House Martell of Dorne, and elder brother of Prince Oberyn Martell.
+1 point for every on-screen step he takes
9
A skilled fighter and heir to House Tarth. A sworn sword to the late Catelyn Stark, she continues her mission to ensure the safety of the Stark girls.
* Scores every time she mentions the "oath" or "vow" she swore to serve the Starks. * Scores every time someone references her size/masculinity/attractiveness.
39
The bastard son of Ned Stark, and the current Lord Commander of the Night's Watch. After guiding the Wildlings to safety in the aftermath of the Battle of Castle Black and the attack on Hardhome, he was betrayed by a mutiny of the Night's Watch, and left for dead in the snow.
* +1 each time he unintentionally drops Longclaw
* +1 point each time he is called a bastard in his presence
* Ghost's actions contribute to his points.
50
Ser Davos is a knight serving Stannis Baratheon, and one of his most trusted advisors. He is often at odds with the Red Priestess Melisandre.
* +1 point every time his fingers or onions are referenced
* +1 point when invoking Shireen's name
91
The former paramour of Prince Oberyn. She is also the mother of several of his bastard children, known as the Sand Snakes, and plots revenge against the Lannisters for Oberyn's death.
+1 for invoking the name of Oberyn Martell
28
A knight and the head of House Clegane, bannermen to the Lannisters. He defeated Prince Oberyn Martell in a trial by combat for Tyrion Lannister's role in King Joffrey's death, although he was gravely injured in the fight. He appears to have recovered (in some form) under Grand Maester Qyburn's care, and returns to serve as a member of the Kingsguard.
* Scores for any kills of non-combatants * Scores for each sentence spoken * Interacting with bowls
37
A freed slave from Astapor, who serves Daenerys as an advisor and translator.
+1 point for each scene where she speaks Valyrian or translates.
43
A former master-of-arms and acting Commander of the Night's Watch, Thorne narrowly lost the Lord Commander choosing to Jon Snow in S5. He later led a mutiny of disgruntled Night's Watch members against Jon Snow, stabbing and leaving him for dead.
+1 point every time he address Jon Snow as "Lord Snow".
26
A cousin to the Lannister children. In a past life he was a stuttering servant to King Robert Baratheon and secret consort to his cousin Queen Cersei Lannister. Lancel now serves as a leading member of the Sparrows, a dangerously militant religious group whose power over King's Landing is growing.
+1 politics point when he publicly outs a named character for their sins
93
The elderly Lord of the Twins and now Lord of Riverrun after his betrayal of Robb Stark and the Northern forces.
221
Samwell Tarly's disapproving father. He is the Lord of House Tarly, and was one of the greatest soldiers in Westeros.
190
The youngest of Oberyn Martell's bastard children, known as the Sand Snakes. She uses daggers and poisons as her weapons.
+1 for invoking the name of Oberyn Martell
187
The personal bodyguard for Doran Martell.
8
The youngest of the Stark children. He splits off from Bran and travels with Osha to the Last Hearth, seat of House Umber.
+1 point for every scene where he has a speaking line
Shaggydog's actions contribute to his points.
132
An orphan boy of the Night's Watch, and a squire for Lord Commander Jon Snow. He is part of the mutiny that betrays Jon and leaves him for dead.
178
The High Septon is formerly the leader of the Faith of the Seven. He was disgraced after the arrival of the Sparrows, and his position was stripped by Cersei and given to the High Sparrow.
+1 for officiating a religious ceremony
25
The younger brother of the late Tywin Lannister, Lord of Casterly Rock. Often underestimated as his brother's inferior, Kevan is one of the few in King's Landing who is not afraid to stand up against Cersei Lannister's schemes. With Cersei's imprisonment, he has returned to serve as Hand of the King to the young King Tommen Baratheon.
220
The manager of an acting troupe in Braavos. He plays Robert Baratheon in a play depicting the political events of Westeros.
Gains the special of characters while playing them: +1 point for swearing in public (Robert Baratheon)
219
Samwell's younger, more physically formidable brother. He is the heir to House Tarly after Samwell was sent by his father to join the Night's Watch.
226
A priestess who leads the Dosh Khaleen, the widows of slain khals who preside over the holy city of Vaes Dothrak.
238
The father of Lord Eddard Stark. He was burned alive by the Mad King, Aerys Targaryen, which led to the Stark and Baratheon rebellion that overthrew the Targaryen dynasty.
240
She is the leading actress in a Braavosi play depicting the political events of Westeros, portraying Cersei Lannister. (played by Essie Davis)
Gains the special of the character they play: +1 point for wine pours/requests, +1 incest reference, 2x multiplier for incestuous sex scenes (Cersei Lannister)
194
The First Steward of the Night's Watch. He is part of the mutiny that betrays Jon Snow and leaves him for dead.
249
The incestuous son of Gilly and her father Craster. He travels with Gilly as she accompanies Samwell Tarly to Oldtown.
3
First Ranger of the Night's Watch - in S1 he disappeared on a ranging north of the Wall and his whereabouts since then are unknown.
94
Known as the Blackfish, Brynden is the uncle of Catelyn Stark and Edmure Tully. He escaped the events of the Red Wedding, but his whereabouts are unknown.
102
A Red Priest from the city of Myr - he is a member of the Brotherhood Without Banners, led by Beric Dondarrion.
+1 point every time he revives someone.
+1 when shown igniting his flaming sword
188
A slave trader from Yunkai. He briefly owns Jorah Mormont, who he brings to the fighting pits of Meereen.
243
An actress who plays Margaery Tyrell in a Braavosi play about the political events of Westeros.
161
Magister of Pentos, one of the free cities of Essos. He hosted the exiled Viserys and Daenerys Targaryen.
103
A skilled archer from the Stormlands - he is a member of the Brotherhood Without Banners, led by Beric Dondarrion.
154
Leader of the Storm Crows, one of the hill tribes living in the west of the Vale.
Kills
Episode 1: The Red Woman
Brienne cuts down the first Bolton soldier on horseback as she and Podrick rush in to save Sansa Stark. "It's a bloody woman!" (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Brienne cuts down the second Bolton soldier who stupidly dismounts his horse to engage an enemy he's knocked to the ground. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Brienne cuts down the horse of a Bolton soldier, pinning the soldier's leg (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Brienne ruthlessly slits the throat of a Bolton soldier pinned under his own horse. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
26:48 (+10) Tyene Sand:
Tyene pulls out a dagger to stab Areo Hotah in the back, as Ellaria Martell begins her overthrow of the Martells. (Kill of Named Character)
Ellaria stabs Doran Martell as she overthrows the royal family of Dorne. "When was the last time you left this palace? You don't know your own people. Their disgust for you. Elia Martell raped and murdered, and you did nothing. Oberyn Martell butchered, and you did nothing. You're not a Dornishman. You're not our Prince." (Kill of Named Character)
Tyene takes the dagger from Areo Hotah's back and throws it at Doran Martell's fleeing messenger. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Episode 2: Home
Zombie Gregor smashes in the head of a King's Landing drunk who was spreading stories about Cersei. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Episode 3: Oathbreaker
49:19 (+40) Jon Snow:
Jon cuts the rope holding the gallows platform at Castle Black, executing Ser Alliser Thorne, Bowen Marsh, Othell Yarwyck, and Olly for their roles in the plot to assassinate him. (Kill of Named Character)
Episode 6: Blood of My Blood
Benjen's horse stomps through a wight's chest as he rides in to Meera and Bran's rescue. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Benjen uses his flaming flail to knock out two wights. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Benjen sideswipes a wight into a tree, and kills two more with his pickaxe, and sets the last wight on fire with his flaming flail. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Benjen decapitates the head of a rabbit he has just hunted. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Episode 8: No One
Lady Crane explains that she had disfigured Bianca's face after finding out the actress tried to kill her.
Arya: "What happened to the actress? The one who wanted you dead."
Lady Crane: "Bianca. She'll have a hard time finding work as an actress after what I did to her face."
(Major Injury of Named Character)
Gregor rips off the head of a Faith Militant soldier sent to detain Cersei Lannister. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Episode 9: Battle of the Bastards
40:17 (+6) Jon Snow:
Jon cuts down 3 more Bolton soldiers in between arrow barrages from Ramsay's archers. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
43:34 (+2) Jon Snow:
Jon stabs through a Bolton soldier as his forces attempt to break through the encircling Bolton army. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
43:54 (+4) Jon Snow:
Jon Snow cuts down two more Bolton soldiers. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
45:18 (+2) Jon Snow:
Jon uses a spin move to dodge and cut down a Bolton soldier from behind. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
52:21 (+5) Jon Snow:
After the Stark forces breach the Winterfell walls, Ramsay challenges Jon to single combat: "You suggested one-on-one combat, didn't you? I've reconsidered. I think that sounds like a wonderful idea."

Jon blocks all three of Ramsay's longbow shots with a Mormont shield, and finally moves in close enough to Ramsay to pummel him into the ground.
(Major Injury of Named Character)
Episode 10: The Winds of Winter
Lancel carves the seven-pointed star into Loras Tyrell's forehead after his confessions, as a symbol of Loras' sins and newfound faith in the Seven. (Major Injury of Named Character)
Septa Unella screams in agony as Cersei leaves Gregor Clegane to slowly torture her.
Cersei: "Now? Today? You're not going to die today. You're not going to die for quite a while."
(Major Injury of Named Character)
Political Wins
Episode 1: The Red Woman
Ser Alliser defends his treason against Lord Commander Jon Snow, and convinces the Night's Watch to side with him.

"You're right! We've committed treason, all of us. Jon Snow was my Lord Commander. I had no love for him. That was no secret. But I never once disobeyed an order. Loyalty is the foundation on which the Night's Watch is built. And the Watch means everything to me. I have given my life, we have all given our lives to the Night's Watch. Jon Snow was going to destroy the Night's Watch ... He thrust a terrible choice upon us. And we made it."
(Convincing Argument)
Alliser takes over as de facto Commander of the Night's Watch after explaining his mutinous actions to kill Jon Snow, and winning over the crowd. (New Title)
Ser Davos convinces Edd to seek help from the Wildlings instead of throwing his life away in an attack against Alliser Thorne. "You're not the only ones who owe your lives to Jon Snow. (Convincing Argument)
After saving her from capture by the Bolton soldiers, Brienne finally convinces Sansa Stark to accept her protection.
Brienne: "Lady Sansa, I offer my services once again. I will shield your back and keep your counsel and give my life for yours if need be. I swear it, by the Old Gods and the New."
Sansa: "And I vow... that you shall always have a place by my... hearth. and..."
Podrick assist" Meat and mead at my table."
Sansa: "...meat and mead at my table. And I pledge to ask no service of you that might bring you dishonor. I swear it by the Old Gods and the New. Arise."
(Convincing Argument)
submitted by moonbaseu92 (approved!)
Tyene betrays Doran Martell, killing his bodyguard Areo Hotah as the first strike in Ellaria Sand's coup d'état of Dorne. (Act of Betrayal)
Ellaria betrays Doran Martell, stabbing him to death as she overthrows the royal family of Dorne.
Doran Martell: "My son... Trystane."
Ellaria: "Your son is weak, just like you. And weak men will never rule Dorne again."
(Act of Betrayal)
Ellaria performs a coups d'état and seizes control of Dorne after assassinating Doran and Trystane Martell.
Doran Martell: "My son... Trystane."
Ellaria: "Your son is weak, just like you. And weak men will never rule Dorne again."
(Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
Episode 2: Home
Davos takes up Longclaw (Jon Snow's Valyrian sword) as he and the other Night's Watchmen prepare to defend against Ser Alliser Thorne. "I've never been much of a fighter... Apologies for what you're about to see." (New Weapon)
Davos convinces Melisandre to make an attempt to revive Jon Snow after she has lost faith in the Lord of Light in their long-awaited Disney moment. "I'm not a devout man, obviously. Seven Gods, Drowned Gods, Tree Gods, it's all the same. I'm not asking the Lord of Light for help. I'm asking the woman who showed me that miracles exist." (Convincing Argument)
Episode 3: Oathbreaker
Kevan Lannister rebuffs Cersei's attempt to force her way into the Small Council discussions, by simply ordering the meeting to be moved.
Jaime Lannister: "We've got a lot to discuss. All of us together."
Cersei Lannister: "And seeing as you cannot make us leave, we best get on with it."
Kevan Lannister: "No, we cannot make you leave. And you cannot make us stay."
(Executive Decision)
Episode 4: Book of the Stranger
Episode 5: The Door
Episode 6: Blood of My Blood
Randyll discovers Gilly's true origins as a Wildling from north of the Wall.
Randyll: "Your way *down* to Castle Black? Where did he kill a White Walker? Where are you from? How'd you come to meet my son?"
Gilly: "The Night's Watch came to our keep."
Randyll: "Where?"
Gilly: "North of the Wall."
Randyll: "North of the Wall? You're a Wildling."
(Secret Discovery)
Randyll takes in Gilly and Little Sam: "Your mother's a fine woman. You're not worthy of her. To please her, I'll take the Wildling in. She can work in the kitchens. The bastard will be raised here." (New Follower/Prisoner)
submitted by goodjujumagic (approved!)
discovers Bianca's (Sansa Stark actress) treachery after Arya knocks the poisoned whiskey glass out of her hands and exposes the murder plot. "Careful of that one. She wants you dead." (Secret Discovery)
Walder overrules his sons, Lothar and Black Walder, ordering them to take back Riverrun despite their strategic doubts. (Executive Decision)
Episode 7: The Broken Man
14:15 (+3) Jon Snow:
Wun Weg Wun Dar Wun: "Snow." (New Follower/Prisoner)
The Freys attempt to negotiate for the surrender of Riverrun by threatening to cut Edmure Tully's throat. The Blackfish coldly calls their bluff without regard for his nephew's life, convincing them to spare the heir to House Tully (for now).

Black Walder: "Yield the castle, or I cut his throat."
Brynden: "Go on, then. Cut his throat."
(Convincing Argument)
submitted by righteous (approved!)
After Jon Snow and Sansa Stark prove unconvincing, Davos convinces the young Lyanna Mormont to rally against the Bolton army. "Because Jeor Mormont and Jon Snow both understood that the real war isn't between a few squabbling houses. It's between the living and the dead. And make no mistake, my lady, the dead are coming ... As long as the Boltons hold Winterfell, the North is divided. And a divided North won't stand a chance against the Night King." (Convincing Argument)
27:11 (+3) Jon Snow:
Lyanna Mormont pledges her house to Jon Snow's fighting forces: "House Mormont has kept faith with House Stark for a thousand years... We will not break faith today." (New Follower/Prisoner)
Episode 8: No One
Brienne persuades Jaime Lannister to allow her to broker surrender terms with the Blackfish, who commands the Tully forces holding Riverrun.
Jaime: "I'm a Lannister. Don't ask me to betray my own house."
Brienne: "I do no such thing."
(Convincing Argument)
Episode 9: Battle of the Bastards
Yezzan and the other slave masters parley with Daenerys, going back on the peace agreement they brokered with Tyrion.
Razdal mo Eraz: "Once before, I offered you peace. If you had not been so arrogant, you could have returned to your homeland with a fleet of ships. Instead, you will flee Slaver's Bay on foot like the beggar queen you are."
(Act of Betrayal)
Davos discovers Shireen's true fate as finds the charred remains of the wooden stag toy he gifted to Shireen next to a pyre. (Secret Discovery)
53:00 (+3) Jon Snow:
After Wun Wun single-handedly breaks down the Winterfell gates, Jon Snow and his forces storm in, killing the remaining garrison of Bolton soldiers and defeating Ramsay Bolton. (Victorious Battle)
53:00 (+3) Jon Snow:
Jon retakes Winterfell for House Stark after defeating Ramsay Bolton and the rest of the Bolton army. (Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
54:23 (+3) Jon Snow:
After being defeated in one-on-one combat, Ramsay is imprisoned in the kennels of Winterfell. (New Follower/Prisoner)
Episode 10: The Winds of Winter
Lancel follows one of Qyburn's little birds to the King's Landing underground. There he is stabbed, but crawls to discover the hidden cache of wildfire buried beneath the Sept of Baelor. (Secret Discovery)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Ownership of Riverrun transfers back to Walder Frey after the Lannister army helps to retake it from the Blackfish.
Walder Frey: "Riverrun belonged to House Tully for a thousand years. Now it's mine. What do you call that? Victory."
(Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
Walder Frey re-claims Edmure Tully as his prisoner. "Edmure is back in a cell. Can't go killing my son by law. It wouldn't be right. Give the family a bad name." (New Follower/Prisoner)
59:43 (+9) Jon Snow:
The Northern Lords Madnerly, Glover, Cerwyn declare their allegiance for Jon Snow as the King in the North.

Lord Wyman Manderly: "Lady Mormont speaks harshly, and truly ... I didn't think we'd find another king in my lifetime. I didn't commit my men to your cause, 'cause I didn't want more Manderly's dying for nothing. But I was wrong. Jon Snow avenged the Red Wedding. He is the White Wolf. The King in the North."

Lord Robett Glover: "I did not fight beside you on the field and I will regret that until my dying day. A man can only admit when he was wrong and ask forgiveness ... There will be more fights to come. House Glover will stand behind House Stark as we have for a thousand years. And I will stand behind Jon Snow. The King in the North!"
(New Follower/Prisoner)
61:13 (+3) Jon Snow:
Jon gains the allegiance of Lord Yohn Royce of the Vale, as he and the Northern lords declare Jon as King in the North. (New Follower/Prisoner)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
61:25 (+3) Jon Snow:
After Lyanna Mormont's rousing speech, the Northern lords declare for Jon Snow as the new King in the North.

Lyanna Mormont: "But House Mormont remembers. The North remembers. We know no king but the King in the North whose name is Stark. I don't care if he's a bastard. Ned Stark's blood runs through his veins. He's my king from this day until his last day."
(New Title)
Insults Delivered / Funny Lines
Episode 1: The Red Woman
Doran Martell: "My son, Trystane..."
Ellaria: "Your son is weak, just like you. And weak men will never rule Dorne again."
(Witty Insult)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Alliser Thorne: "And you, Ser Davos, I will allow you to travel south. A free man, with a fresh horse."
Davos: "And some mutton. I'd like some mutton."
Alliser: "Wot?"
(Funny Line)
Episode 2: Home
Davos as he takes Jon's sword and rallies the men against Ser Alliser Thorne: "I've never been much of a fighter... Apologies for what you're about to see." (Funny Line)
Episode 3: Oathbreaker
7:25 (+3) Jon Snow:
Edd: "Your eyes are still brown. Is that still you in there?"
Jon: "I think so. Hold off on burning my body for now."
(Funny Line)
submitted by moonbaseu92 (approved!)
Episode 4: Book of the Stranger
5:45 (+3) Jon Snow:
after Sansa tastes the finest from Castle Black Brewery: "You'd think after thousands of years, the Night's Watch would have learned how to make a good ale." (Funny Line)
submitted by kremershell (approved!)
Brienne: "I was Kingsguard to Renly Baratheon. Before Renly was assassinated with bloodmagic."
Nervous Davos: "That's... in the past now."
Brienne: "Yes, it's in the past. It doesn't mean I forget. *looks at Melisandre* Or forgive."
(Threat)
submitted by jamesfkehoe (approved!)
Tyrion: "Trust me. My own recent experience with slavery have taught me the horrors of that institution."
Missandei: "How many days were you a slave?"
Tyrion: "...long enough to know."
Missandei: "Not long enough to understand."
(Witty Insult)
Tyrion, in Valyrian: "Large sorry... you wait so fat time."
Missandei: "Perhaps I should translate for you."
(Funny Line)
Episode 5: The Door
Lady Crane (Cersei) "Who will teach him strength? Who will teach him grace? To whom will he turn when it's time to learn to look darkness in the face?"
Izembaro (Robert): "Ned Stark will do fine. Now bring me more wine!"
(Funny Line)
Brienne: "I don't like leaving you here alone."
Sansa: "With Jon?"
Brienne: "Not him. He seems trustworthy. A bit... brooding, perhaps. I suppose that's understandable, considering. The others, though. Davos and the Red Woman helped a man murder his own brother with bloodmagic... and that wildling fellow with the beard-"
(Funny Line)
Episode 6: Blood of My Blood
Melessa Tarly: "Samwell, would you care for more bread?"
Sam: "Oh, yes. Yes, please."
Randyll Tarly: "Not fat enough already?"
(Witty Insult)
to Sam: "I thought the Night's Watch might make a man of you. Something resembling a man at least. You managed to stay soft, and fat. Your nose buried in books. Spending your life reading about the achievements of better men." (Witty Insult)
"I took you (Gilly) for a Mole's Town whore when I saw you and I made my peace with that. Who else would have him (Samwell)? But I overestimated him. No, it was a Wildling whore that seduced my son." (Witty Insult)
referring to Gilly: "This you getting back at me, boy? Bringing *that* to my table and making me dine with *it*?" (Witty Insult)
submitted by goodjujumagic (approved!)
to his sons: "You've lost it? ... It's a castle, not a bloody sheep. Presumably you still know where it is." (Witty Insult)
submitted by alexanderdropkin (approved!)
"All across the Riverlands right down to King's Landing, they're laughing at us. I hear it in my sleep! I'm not dead yet, unfortunately for you. And I'll not leave this world until they all choke on that laughter." (Threat)
Episode 7: The Broken Man
on the 62 Mormont soldiers: "If they're half as ferocious as their Lady, the Boltons are doomed." (Funny Line)
submitted by Laxis (approved!)
The Blackfish: "I assume you're here to fulfill the vow you gave my niece. I don't see Sansa and Arya."
Jaime: "I don't have them."
The Blackfish: "Pity. Do you wish to resume your captivity?"
(Witty Insult)
Jaime Lanniser: "But if you surrender, I'll spare the lives of your men. On my honor."
Blackfish: "Your honor? Bargaining with oathbreakers is like building on quicksand."
(Witty Insult)
to Jaime: "We have enough provisions for two years. Do you have two years, Kingslayer?" (Threat)
Jaime Lannister: "You clearly have no intention of saving your men's lives. Why did you come treat with me?"
Blackfish: "Sieges are dull. And I wanted to see you in person, get the measure of you."
Jaime: "Well, now you have."
Blackfish: "Aye, now I have. I'm disappointed."
(Witty Insult)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Episode 8: No One
to Arya, as she gives her Milk of the Poppy: "Trust me, if my soup didn't kill you, nothing will." (Funny Line)
Kevan: "Where are you going?"
Cersei Lannister: "To stand by my son."
Kevan: "Your place is in the gallery. With the other ladies of the court."

Read more at: http://transcripts.foreverdreaming.org/viewtopic.php?f=67&t=27550
(Witty Insult)
submitted by dclark51 (approved!)
"I haven't had a proper sword fight in years. I expect I'll make a damn fool of myself." (Funny Line)
submitted by righteous (approved!)
Sandor Clegane: "They killed a friend of mine."
Thoros: "You've got friends?"
(Witty Insult)
Episode 9: Battle of the Bastards
to Tormund: "No, it's a manner of speaking... not actual demons." (Funny Line)
submitted by righteous (approved!)
Tormund: "I need a good drink to help me sleep the night before a fight. You want some? I have a jug of sour goat's milk..."
Davos: "No thanks, it does sound delicious, but..."
(Funny Line)
submitted by righteous (approved!)
Davos: "I can never sleep the night before a battle."
Tormund: "So what do you do all night?"
Davos: "I walk. Think and walk. Think and walk until I'm far enough away from camp that no one can hear me shitting my guts out."
(Funny Line)
Davos rallies the archers to charge in towards the main battle: "We may as well be taking shits back here. Follow!" (Funny Line)
submitted by righteous (approved!)
Episode 10: The Winds of Winter
38:05 (+3) Jon Snow:
Sansa: "A raven came from the Citadel. A white raven. Winter is here."
Jon: "Well, father always promised."
(Funny Line)
submitted by cfitzgerald (approved!)
Glasses of Wine Consumed
Episode 5: The Door
Lady Crane shares a drink with Bobono backstage of the Braavosi theatre after the end of the performance.
Bobono (Tyrion actor): "May I get you some wine, Lady Crane?"
Lady Crane (Cersei actress): "I'm a rum girl, Bobono. You need to know that if we're going to be intimate."
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
Episode 6: Blood of My Blood
Randyll drinks after toasting to his son Dickon for the 70-yard deer kill from that day's hunt. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Izembaro drinks backstage as he laments the terrible crowd. "No laugh for Ned's death. These people are worse than animals." (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Walder Frey takes a sip of wine while listening to excuses from his useless sons, Lothar and Black Walder. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
submitted by alexanderdropkin (approved!)
Episode 8: No One
Grey Worm drinks in the Meereenese council room, as Tyrion toasts: "Here's to our Queen. Anyone not drinking is disrespecting our Queen." (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Thoros drinks from his wineskin as he walks towards the campfire. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Episode 9: Battle of the Bastards
Episode 10: The Winds of Winter
Walder drinks from his cup after sitting down to chat with Jaime during the Frey-Lannister feast to celebrate the retaking of Riverrun. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Walder drinks from his chalice while waiting for his sons to arrive for lunch. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Acts of Intercourse
Episode 3: Oathbreaker
2:24 (+5) Jon Snow:
Glorious Kit Harrington butt shot as the resurrected Jon Snow sits up from the table. (Non-sexual Nude Scene)
Episode 4: Book of the Stranger
Tyrion brings in prostitutes for Yezzan and the other slave masters at the end of their negotiation sessions. "Give freedom a chance. See if it doesn't taste every bit as good as what came before." (Act of Intercourse)
Deaths
Episode 1: The Red Woman
26:50 (+10) Areo Hotah:
Areo Hotah dies from a dagger to the back from Tyene Sand, as Ellaria Sand launches her coup d'état of Dorne. (Death)
Doran Martell bleeds out after being stabbed by Ellaria Sand. "When was the last time you left this palace? You don't know your own people. Their disgust for you. Elia Martell raped and murdered, and you did nothing. Oberyn Martell butchered, and you did nothing. You're not a Dornishman. You're not our Prince." (Death)
Episode 2: Home
+1 for Doran Martell, +1 for Areo Hotah
Episode 3: Oathbreaker
Smalljon Umber brings Ramsay the severed head of Rickon Stark's direwolf, Shaggydog, to prove his prisoner's identity. (Death)
Olly is hanged for his role in the assassination of Jon Snow. (Death)
+1 for Doran Martell, +1 for Areo Hotah
Episode 4: Book of the Stranger
+1 for Rickon Stark, +1 for Alliser Thorne, +1 for Olly, +1 for Doran Martell, +1 for Areo Hotah, +1 for Bowen Marsh
Episode 5: The Door
+1 for Rickon Stark, +1 for Alliser Thorne, +1 for Olly, +1 for Doran Martell, +1 for Areo Hotah, +1 for Bowen Marsh
Episode 6: Blood of My Blood
Benjen tells the story of his death and resurrection to Bran Stark: "I led a ranging party deep into the North to find White Walkers. They found us. A white walker stabbed me in the gut with a sword of ice. Left me there to die. To turn. The Children found me. Stopped the walker's magic from taking hold." (Death)
submitted by cmwalken15 (approved!)
+1 for Rickon Stark, +1 for Alliser Thorne, +1 for Olly, +1 for Doran Martell, +1 for Areo Hotah, +1 for Bowen Marsh
Episode 7: The Broken Man
+1 for Benjen Stark, +1 for Rickon Stark, +1 for Alliser Thorne, +1 for Olly, +1 for Doran Martell, +1 for Areo Hotah, +1 for Bowen Marsh
Episode 8: No One
Arya discovers the body of Lady Crane, murdered by the Waif. (Death)
+1 for Benjen Stark, +1 for Rickon Stark, +1 for Alliser Thorne, +1 for Olly, +1 for Doran Martell, +1 for Areo Hotah, +1 for Bowen Marsh
Episode 9: Battle of the Bastards
Smalljon Umber tosses out Shaggydog's severed head to prove to Jon and Sansa that they have Rickon as their prisoner. (Dead Body Appearance)
submitted by Lem Lemoncake (approved!)
Rickon is killed by an arrow through his chest by Ramsay Bolton, after being given a chance to run to freedom towards the Stark army. (Death)
+1 for Benjen Stark, +1 for Rickon Stark, +1 for Alliser Thorne, +1 for Brynden Tully (Blackfish), +1 for Olly, +1 for Doran Martell, +1 for Areo Hotah, +1 for Bowen Marsh, +1 for Lady Crane (Cersei Actress)
Episode 10: The Winds of Winter
Lancel Lannister is lured into the King's Landing underground where he is stabbed by one of Qyburn's little birds. Finding a cache of wildfire, he is too late to stop the candles from burning down and igniting it, engulfing him in the explosion. (Death)
Kevan Lannister is engulfed as the wildfire explosion rips through the Sept of Baelor, destroying the entire section of King's Landing and killing all those inside. (Death)
After being served a meat pie baked from his own sons, Walder Frey has his throat slit by Arya Stark in the very same room where he orchestrated the betrayal of Robb and Catelyn Stark. "My name is Arya Stark. I want you to know that. The last thing you're ever going to see is a Stark smiling down at you as you die." (Death)
+1 for Benjen Stark, +1 for Rickon Stark, +1 for Rickon Stark, +1 for Alliser Thorne, +1 for Brynden Tully (Blackfish), +1 for Olly, +1 for Doran Martell, +1 for Areo Hotah, +1 for Bowen Marsh, +1 for Lady Crane (Cersei Actress)
Special
Episode 1: The Red Woman
Doran 'Professor X' Martell turns out to not actually be a wheelchair-bound cripple at all - apparently he was just too lazy to walk anywhere during any part of S5. He takes thirty-two slow, gimpy steps along the way to his wheelchair. Then decides to adjust his dangling right foot for good measure, before fully sitting down.

5 steps in initial overhead scene (25:35)
7 steps to get up the stairs (25:40)
8 steps to the next set of stairs (25:47)
9 steps to the wheelchair (25:55)
3 steps to get in the wheelchair (26:06)
1 step to get his last dangling foot onto the wheelchair (26:11)
(Special)
Episode 2: Home
29:18 (+3) Jon Snow:
Roose Bolton: "Jon Snow is a bastard, not a Stark." (Special)
submitted by kremershell (approved!)
Episode 3: Oathbreaker
43:46 (+3) Jon Snow:
Ramsay Bolton: "Why have you come to Winterfell, Lord Umber?"
Smalljon Umber: "The bastard Jon Snow led an army of Wildlings past the Wall."
(Special)
44:23 (+3) Jon Snow:
Ramsay Bolton: "Pledge your banners to House Bolton. Swear loyalty to me as Warden of the North and we will fight together to destroy the bastard and all his Wildling friends." (Special)
to Jon Snow: "I fought, I lost. Now I rest. But you, Lord Snow, you'll be fighting their battles forever." (Special)
Episode 4: Book of the Stranger
in Valyrian to the former slaves: "I do not trust them (the slave mastesr). I will never trust them. ... but as a wise man once said, 'We make peace with our enemies, not out friends'." (Special)
48:23 (+3) Jon Snow:
Ramsay Bolton's letter to Jon: "Winterfell is mine, bastard. Come and see." (Special)
Episode 5: The Door
Lady Crane pours out a cup of rum for herself. "I'm a rum girl, Bobono. You need to know that if we're going to be intimate." (Special)
Episode 7: The Broken Man
Septon Ray: "How many men did it take to cut you down?"
Sandor Clegane: "Just one."
Ray: "Whew... he must have been some kind of a monster."
Sandor: "He was a woman."
(Special)
Episode 8: No One
As Brienne meets with Jaime inside a tent on the Lannister siege line, Bronn outs himself as Vice President of the Brienne's a Hottie Admiration Society.
Bronn: "You think they're fucking?"
Podrick: "What? No."
Bronn: "Why not? I'd fuck her. You'd fuck her, wouldn't you? ... Well he'd (Jaime) fuck her, that's for sure. And she'd fuck him, don't you think?"
(Special)
submitted by alexanderdropkin (approved!)
Episode 9: Battle of the Bastards
13:32 (+3) Jon Snow:
Ramsay Bolton: "I keep hearing stories about you, bastard." (Special)
15:35 (+3) Jon Snow:
Ramsay Bolton: "We'll find out soon enough. In the morning, then, bastard." (Special)
18:49 (+3) Jon Snow:
Sansa Stark: "Rickon is Ned Stark's trueborn son, which makes him a greater threat to Ramsay than you, a bastard, or me, a girl." (Special)
Episode 10: The Winds of Winter
52:02 (+3) Jon Snow:
Petyr Baelish: "Who should the North rally behind? A trueborn daughter of Ned and Catelyn Stark born here at Winterfell? Or a motherless bastard born in the south?" (Special)
59:17 (+3) Jon Snow:
Lyanna Mormont: "I don't care if he's a bastard. Ned Stark's blood runs through his veins." (Special)