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You Know Nothing Jake Messer | Fantasora

You Know Nothing Jake Messer

What are Sundays for?!

Owner: drewgainey

40 roto pts (#7)
Z-Score: -0.898 (percentile: 18.45%)
Weeks at #1: 0
Categories won:
Best Week: Episode 2: Stormborn (+5 roto points)
Team MVP: Euron Greyjoy (picked #10, 113 points, 86.92% of team total)

Roster Stats

Character Drafted Total Kills Politics Insults Wine Sex Thrones Deaths Special Feels
The new King of the Iron Islands, after killing his brother Balon Greyjoy. He is described as cunning, ruthless, and with a touch of madness.
#10 113 35 30 33 0 0 0 0 15 0
Lord Protector of the Vale, Littlefinger effectively controls the Knights of the Vale through the easily manipulated Robbin Arryn. He is a master manipulator who will stop at nothing for power.
#11 17 0 12 0 0 0 0 5 0 0
A squire in the service of Brienne of Tarth. He previously served as Tyrion Lannister's squire.
#31 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
An uncle of Theon Greyjoy, who serves as a priest to the Drowned God.
#50 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Leader of the Second Sons, a sellsword company who now serves Daenerys Targaryen. He is also one of Daneerys' trusted advisors and her lover, but has been left behind in Meereen to govern the city.
#30 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
The Knight of the Gate, commander of the soldiers that defend the Bloody Gate that guards entrance into the Vale.
#70 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
A former prostitute, Olyvar now manages Littlefinger's brothels while he is away in the Eyrie. He plays a key role in the Sparrows' indictment and imprisonment of Loras Tyrell.
#51 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Totals 130 35 42 33 0 0 0 5 15 0

Roster

charId Character Special
216
The new King of the Iron Islands, after killing his brother Balon Greyjoy. He is described as cunning, ruthless, and with a touch of madness.
+1 when he or his Ironborn is referenced as the "greatest" (including self-references)
+1 for crude sexual remarks made about women he is courting
79
Lord Protector of the Vale, Littlefinger effectively controls the Knights of the Vale through the easily manipulated Robbin Arryn. He is a master manipulator who will stop at nothing for power.
+1 point in the intercourse category for sex events that occur in his brothels
2x multiplier for betrayal events
+1 for every kiss he gives to Sansa
36
Leader of the Second Sons, a sellsword company who now serves Daenerys Targaryen. He is also one of Daneerys' trusted advisors and her lover, but has been left behind in Meereen to govern the city.
+1 point each time he flirts with Daenerys.
27
A squire in the service of Brienne of Tarth. He previously served as Tyrion Lannister's squire.
+1 point for failed attempts at basic tasks.
+1 point for surprising people with how good he is at a task
233
An uncle of Theon Greyjoy, who serves as a priest to the Drowned God.
126
A former prostitute, Olyvar now manages Littlefinger's brothels while he is away in the Eyrie. He plays a key role in the Sparrows' indictment and imprisonment of Loras Tyrell.
+1 point whenever he name-drops that the brothel "is Lord Petyr Baelish's establishment"
112
The Knight of the Gate, commander of the soldiers that defend the Bloody Gate that guards entrance into the Vale.
Kills
Episode 2: Stormborn
Euron crushes a Greyjoy soldier with the landing bridge, as he makes his entrance aboard Yara's ship, and then immediately cuts down another. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Euron parries a blow, and then slices up a Greyjoy soldier. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Euron cleaves down an Ironborn soldier, then sticks his axe into the head of another before getting caught by Nymeria Sand's whip. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Euron stabs Obara through the stomach with the shards of her own broken spear. (Kill of Named Character)
Euron bests Nymeria Sand, blocking her dagger and then strangling her with her own whip. (Kill of Named Character)
Euron kills an intervening soldier after he and Yara begin their head-to-head fight. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Euron's axe finds an unsuspecting soldier that Yara uses as a human shield. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Euron bests Yara in single combat, taking his bloodied niece captive. (Minor Injury of Named Character)
Political Wins
Episode 1: Dragonstone
Euron sails into King's Landing with his shiny new Iron Fleet, rebuilt after Yara stole the existing fleet following his coronation. (Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
Episode 2: Stormborn
Yara and Theon Greyjoy, and their competing claims to lead the Ironborn, are eliminated as Euron captures Yara and forces Theon to flee after successfully ambushing their fleet. (Rivals Eliminated)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
Ellaria and Tyene Sand are taken prisoner by Euron's Ironborn. (New Follower/Prisoner)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Euron bests Yara in single combat and taunts Theon into running away, taking his niece captive. (New Follower/Prisoner)
Euron succesfully ambushes Yara Greyjoy's fleet, burning most of her ships and taking Yara, Ellaria, and Tyene Sand as prisoners. (Victorious Battle)
Episode 3: The Queen's Justice
With his succesful destruction of Yara Greyjoy's fleet and the "gift" of the captured Ellaria and Tyene Sand, Euron wins over Cersei and convinces her to ally with his Ironborn and accept his marriage proposal. (Convincing Argument)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
Cersei accepts Euron Greyjoy's proposal of an alliance, appointing him as the head of the navy of the Seven Kindgoms. (New Title)
As the Unsullied are busy attacking Casterly Rock, Euron's Iron Fleet ambushes their ships, destroying the Unsullied navy and cutting off any sea-based escape route in the process.

Jaime Lannister to Olenna Tyrell: "They won't be able to hold it (Casterly Rock). Euron Greyjoy's navy burned their ships, we emptied the larders before we left. Eventually, they'll be forced to abandon their position and march all the way across Westeros."
(Victorious Battle)
Episode 5: Eastwatch
Littlefinger acquires the only copy of a raven letter written by Sansa while she was in King's Landing, when she was compelled by Cersei to ask Robb Stark to come south and bend the knee.

Maester Wolkan: "I found it, my Lord. It took some searching. Maester Luwin's archives are very thorough."
Petyr: "You're sure this is the only copy in Winterfell?
Wolkan: "Yes, my Lord."
Petyr: "Lady Stark thanks you for your service."
(Secret Discovery)
Littlefinger has been using Maester Wolkan to dig through the Winterfell archives, portraying it as a command by Sansa Stark.

Maester Wolkan: "I found it, my Lord. It took some searching. Maester Luwin's archives are very thorough."
Petyr: "You're sure this is the only copy in Winterfell?
Wolkan: "Yes, my Lord."
Petyr: "Lady Stark thanks you for your service."
(Act of Betrayal)
Insults Delivered / Funny Lines
Episode 1: Dragonstone
Jaime: "The people I was cutting down were your own kin."
Euron: "The place was getting crowded."
(Funny Line)
submitted by hsackman2146 (approved!)
When he said to Jamie and Cersei, ".... with two good hands." Making a joke of Jamie having lost one his hands. (Witty Insult)
submitted by Th3 JaBBeRWoCK (approved!)
Cersei: "You murdered your own brother."
Euron: "You should try it. Feels wonderful."
(Funny Line)
Episode 2: Stormborn
Euron taunts Theon into fleeing the battle as he holds Yara captive: "Ah come on, you cockless coward. I have her. Come and get her." (Witty Insult)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
Euron sarcastically and disparagingly to Yara as he approaches her to cut her down: "Give your uncle a kiss" (Witty Insult)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
Episode 3: The Queen's Justice
to Yara, mocking Theon's reaction during their battle on her ship: "*Ohhh noooo!* What a twat." (Witty Insult)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
to Jaime: "There's nothing like it is there, the love of the people ... but I suppose you wouldn't know". (Witty Insult)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
Jaime Lannister: "...if you turn on us, they'll cheer to have your severed head mounted on a spike."
Euron: "Or yours. They just like severed heads, really."
(Threat)
to Jaime: "Does she like it gentle, or rough? A finger in the bum? Shh, shh, shh, shh, not now. We'll talk later." (Funny Line)
submitted by jbornstein89 (approved!)
Episode 7: The Dragon and the Wolf
Tyrion: "I think we ought to begin with larger concerns."
Euron: "Then why are you talking? You're the smallest concern here."
(Witty Insult)
Deaths
Episode 7: The Dragon and the Wolf
Littlefinger has his throat slit by Arya Stark, after his betrayals and treason are exposed by Sansa Stark in the court of Winterfell to the Northern and Vale lords.

Sansa: "Thank you for all your many lessons, Lord Baelish. I will never forget them."
(Death)
Special
Episode 1: Dragonstone
While responding to Jaime about him fleeing after the Greyjoy Rebellion: "If I hadn't done that, I wouldn't be the greatest captain of the fourteen seas" (Special)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
Episode 3: The Queen's Justice
Cersei: "You've proven yourself the greatest captain of the Fourteen Seas." (Special)
The Feels
Episode 4: The Spoils of War
While watching on as the living Stark children together in the courtyard of Winterfell:

Podrick: "Catelyn Stark would be proud. You've kept your vow."
Brienne: "I did next to nothing."
Podrick: "You're too hard on yourself, My Lady."
Brienne: "I'm not- ...thank you, Podrick."
(Warm Fuzzy Moment)