I Am The God Of Tits And Wine
Valar Morghulis... Don't You Mean YOLO?
Owner: kcdrews
9-1, 52.5 roto pts (#2)
Z-Score:
1.103 (percentile: 86.5%)
Weeks at #1: 2.5
Categories won:
Best Week:
Episode 10: Mother's Mercy
(+5 roto points)
Team MVP:
Cersei Lannister
(picked #2,
142 points,
47.49% of team total)
Longest winstreak: W-5
Roster Stats
Roster
charId | Character | Special |
---|---|---|
18 |
Cersei Lannister
Queen Regent of the Seven Kingdoms and mother to King Tommen.
|
* +1 special point every time she pours wine or requests a glass be poured * +1 point when someone (excl. Jaime) references incest with Jaime or her childrens' bastardy directly to her * 2x multiplier for sex acts involving incest (first cousin or closer) |
61 |
Theon Greyjoy
Heir to the Iron Islands, and formerly a ward of House Stark. Theon is currently a captive of Ramsay Bolton.
|
+1 point for scenes where Theon refers to himself as "Reek" +1 point when his missing manhood is referenced |
185 |
Doran Martell
The head of House Martell of Dorne, and elder brother of Prince Oberyn Martell.
|
+1 point for every on-screen step he takes |
35 |
Barristan Selmy
The former Lord Commander of the Kingsguard of Robert and Joffrey Baratheon. After being dismissed by King Joffrey, he joins Daenerys to serve as her advisor and Queensguard.
|
+1 point when he makes a suggestion to Daenerys and she ignores it. |
42 |
Maester Aemon
The Maester of the Night's Watch. In a previous life he was born Aemon Targaryen, a great-uncle of Daenerys.
|
+1 point when he tells a story from his past +1 politics point when he overrules decisions by other members of the Night's Watch. |
186 |
Trystane Martell
Prince Doran Martell's son, and heir to Dorne. He is betrothed to Myrcella Baratheon.
|
|
187 |
Areo Hotah
The personal bodyguard for Doran Martell.
|
|
161 |
Illyrio Mopatis
Magister of Pentos, one of the free cities of Essos. He hosted the exiled Viserys and Daenerys Targaryen.
|
Kills
47:48
(+30)
Barristan Selmy:
Barristan arrives to the scene of the Unsullied ambush. He cuts down 15 of the Sons of the Harpy in an attempt to save Grey Worm, but is eventually cut down by the mob.
1. Slashed across the back as Barristan arrives
2. Slashed across the stomach as the mob engages
3. Slashed across the side after his first strike is parried
4. Held in place by Barristan to receive a stab from a fellow Son of the Harpy
5. Slashed across the chest
6. Sliced through the stomach
7. Sliced across the back
8. Stabbed through the stomach
9. Beheaded from behind
10. Slashed through with an uppercut swing
11. Stabbed through the stomach
12. Slashes across the stomach
13. Slashes after stabbing Barristan's leg
14. Stabbed through while Barristan is kneeling on the ground
15. Stabbed simultaneously while another stabs Barristan through the stomach (mostly obscured behind the surviving fighter) (Kill of Unnamed Character)
1. Slashed across the back as Barristan arrives
2. Slashed across the stomach as the mob engages
3. Slashed across the side after his first strike is parried
4. Held in place by Barristan to receive a stab from a fellow Son of the Harpy
5. Slashed across the chest
6. Sliced through the stomach
7. Sliced across the back
8. Stabbed through the stomach
9. Beheaded from behind
10. Slashed through with an uppercut swing
11. Stabbed through the stomach
12. Slashes across the stomach
13. Slashes after stabbing Barristan's leg
14. Stabbed through while Barristan is kneeling on the ground
15. Stabbed simultaneously while another stabs Barristan through the stomach (mostly obscured behind the surviving fighter) (Kill of Unnamed Character)
16:54
(+2)
Trystane Martell:
Trystane orders Areo Hotah to return an elbow to Bronn's face in light-hearted retribution, as his punishment for the "fleabite" Bronn gave to him in the Water Gardens.
(Minor Injury of Named Character)
16:54
(+2)
Areo Hotah:
Areo delivers a stiff elbow to the face of Bronn, as ordered by Trystane Martell.
(Minor Injury of Named Character)
18:43
(+10)
Theon Greyjoy:
Theon breaks and throws Myranda from the top of the Winterfell walls onto the ground below, saving Sansa Stark.
(Kill of Named Character)
Political Wins
25:41
(+3)
Barristan Selmy:
Barristan convinces Daenerys to give the Son of the Harpy a fair trial instead of executing him immediately. "Your Grace... I served in [Mad King Aerys'] Kingsguard. I was at his side from the first. Your enemies did not lie."
(Politics - uncategorized)
31:17
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei stacks the Small Council in her favor, appointing the loyal Mace Tyrell as Master of Coin and Qyburn as Master of Whisperers, over the protests of Grand Maester Pycelle and Kevan Lannister.
Grand Maester Pycelle: "Your Grace... him? This- this man (Qyburn)? This... embarrassment to the Citadel? ... what qualifications can he possibly have for this post?"
Cersei: "The qualification of loyalty, Grand Maester. That's far more than the eunuch ever had." (Politics - uncategorized)
Grand Maester Pycelle: "Your Grace... him? This- this man (Qyburn)? This... embarrassment to the Citadel? ... what qualifications can he possibly have for this post?"
Cersei: "The qualification of loyalty, Grand Maester. That's far more than the eunuch ever had." (Politics - uncategorized)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
43:38
(+3)
Maester Aemon:
Maester Aemon casts the deciding vote for Jon Snow in the Lord Commander election.
(Politics - uncategorized)
46:18
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei has the High Septon imprisoned. "The High Septon's behavior was corrosive, as was his attitude. Having a man like that reside in the Sept eats away the Faith from the inside. So now he resides in the Red Keep's dungeons instead."
(Politics - uncategorized)
13:00
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei betrays the Tyrells, exposing Ser Loras' homosexuality to the High Sparrow and causing him to be arrested.
(Politics - uncategorized)
submitted by moonbaseu92 (approved!)
8:52
(+3)
Maester Aemon:
Maester Aemon convinces Jon to follow through with his convictions. "Kill the boy, Jon Snow. Winter is almost upon us. Kill the boy and let the man be born."
(Politics - uncategorized)
34:55
(+18)
Doran Martell:
After their fight in the Water Gardens over Princess Myrcella, Jaime Lannister, Bronn, Obara, Nymeria, Tyene, and Ellaria Sand are all captured by Areo Hotah, the household guard for Doran Martell.
(Politics - uncategorized)
34:55
(+3)
Areo Hotah:
Areo's Dornish guard wins the battle in the Water Gardens, arresting Bronn/Jaime and the Sand Snakes.
(Politics - uncategorized)
43:05
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei's betrayal of the Tyrells is realized further, as her manipulation of the Faith's inquest lands both Ser Loras and Margaery Tyrell in prison after she assures Olenna Tyrell that the High Sparrow's inquest would be merely a formality.
(Politics - uncategorized)
10:01
(+3)
Theon Greyjoy:
After promising to help Sansa Stark light a signal candle at the top of the broken tower, Reek instead goes directly to Ramsay Bolton to inform him of Sansa's plot.
(Politics - uncategorized)
submitted by wpearsal (approved!)
13:17
(+3)
Doran Martell:
Doran agrees to Tommen's request that Myrcella return to Dorne, over the angry protestations of Ellaria.
(Politics - uncategorized)
13:47
(+3)
Trystane Martell:
Doran secures a seat on the Small Council for his son Trystane.
Doran Martell: "My brother was named to the Small Council before his death. Your father understood the importance of keeping Dorne in the fold. With Oberyn gone, Trystane will take his place on the small council."
Jaime Lannister: "You have my word." (Politics - uncategorized)
Doran Martell: "My brother was named to the Small Council before his death. Your father understood the importance of keeping Dorne in the fold. With Oberyn gone, Trystane will take his place on the small council."
Jaime Lannister: "You have my word." (Politics - uncategorized)
26:00
(+3)
Doran Martell:
Ellaria Sand breaks down and becomes a follower of Doran Martell again. "You can swear your allegiance to me now... or you can die."
(Politics - uncategorized)
18:40
(+3)
Theon Greyjoy:
Theon finally breaks and betrays the Boltons, saving Sansa Stark from one of Myranda's arrows before throwing Myranda off the walls of Winterfell.
(Politics - uncategorized)
Insults Delivered / Funny Lines
9:50
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
to the fortune teller, Maggy: "Tell me my future, or I'll have your two boring eyes gouged out of your head."
(Threat)
10:34
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei inherit's Tywin's family lecture abilities.
to Jaime: "Tyrion may be a monster, but at least he killed our father on purpose. You killed him by mistake, with stupidity." (Witty Insult)
to Jaime: "Tyrion may be a monster, but at least he killed our father on purpose. You killed him by mistake, with stupidity." (Witty Insult)
30:51
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Lancel: "I led you into the darkness."
Cersei: "I doubt you've ever led anyone anywhere." (Witty Insult)
Cersei: "I doubt you've ever led anyone anywhere." (Witty Insult)
16:01
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Jaime: "I'm going to make this better.
Cersei: "You've never made anything better." (Witty Insult)
Cersei: "You've never made anything better." (Witty Insult)
submitted by kas113 (approved!)
20:42
(+3)
Doran Martell:
Doran: "Oberyn was slain during a trial by combat. By law, that is no murder."
Ellaria: "Your brother-"
Doran: "You don't have to remind me. He was my brother long before he was anything to you." (Witty Insult)
Ellaria: "Your brother-"
Doran: "You don't have to remind me. He was my brother long before he was anything to you." (Witty Insult)
20:58
(+3)
Doran Martell:
Doran delivers a stern rebuke to the decision-making ability of Ellaria and his hot-headed subjects.
Doran: "You would have me go to war?"
Ellaria: "The whole country would have you go to war."
Doran: "Then we are lucky the whole country does not decide." (Witty Insult)
Doran: "You would have me go to war?"
Ellaria: "The whole country would have you go to war."
Doran: "Then we are lucky the whole country does not decide." (Witty Insult)
submitted by moonbaseu92 (approved!)
9:33
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei with a jab to Margaery while talking to Tommen: "She's certainly very pretty, isn't she? Like a doll. She smiles quite a lot. Do you think she's intelligent? I can't quite tell, not that it matters."
(Witty Insult)
submitted by wpearsal (approved!)
7:11
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
After Cersei sends Lord Mace Tyrell away to Braavos to negotiate with the Iron Bank:
Grand Maester Pycelle "The small council getting smaller and smaller..."
Cersei "Not small enough." (Threat)
Grand Maester Pycelle "The small council getting smaller and smaller..."
Cersei "Not small enough." (Threat)
submitted by wpearsal (approved!)
27:45
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Petyr Baelish: "Surely your uncle Kevan could muster a force."
Cersei: "My uncle Kevan has all the courage of a kitchen mouse." (Witty Insult)
Cersei: "My uncle Kevan has all the courage of a kitchen mouse." (Witty Insult)
34:47
(+3)
Areo Hotah:
Areo puts his longaxe at Jaime Lannister's throat when he refuses to put down his sword.
"When you were whole, it would have been a good fight." (Threat)
"When you were whole, it would have been a good fight." (Threat)
36:37
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
to Olenna Tyrell: "Ah, yes. The famously tart-tongued Queen of Thorns."
(Witty Insult)
37:53
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Olenna Tyrell: "He understood that sometimes we must work with our rivals rather than destroy them."
Cersei: "House Lannister has no rival." (Threat)
Cersei: "House Lannister has no rival." (Threat)
52:01
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei taunts Margaery in the dungeons: "This is horrible. Unacceptable. Are they feeding you enough at least? I brought you this. Venison. It's quite good. I had it myself for supper only last night."
(Witty Insult)
58:48
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
to Septa Unella: "Look at me! Look at my face. It's the last thing you'll see before you die."
(Threat)
26:22
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
to Septa Unella: "I can make sure you die in the most hideous way imaginable. And all I do is sit here imaginging hideous ways for you to die."
(Threat)
13:58
(+3)
Doran Martell:
after Ellaria Sand insults him: "You are mother to four of my nieces, girls I love very much. For their sake, I hope you live a long and happy life. Speak to me that way again, and you won't."
(Witty Insult)
16:24
(+3)
Doran Martell:
Areo Hotah; "Prince Doran, Ser Bronn of the Blackwater."
Doran: "I didn't realize there were 'knights' of the Blackwater" (Witty Insult)
Doran: "I didn't realize there were 'knights' of the Blackwater" (Witty Insult)
16:59
(+3)
Doran Martell:
Jaime: "[Trystane Martell] has agreed to grant you your freedom."
Bronn: "I'm glad to hear it. Pie looks good."
[Areo Hotah possibly breaks Bronn's jaw with an elbow to the face]
Doran: "...Perhaps some soup instead." (Witty Insult)
Bronn: "I'm glad to hear it. Pie looks good."
[Areo Hotah possibly breaks Bronn's jaw with an elbow to the face]
Doran: "...Perhaps some soup instead." (Witty Insult)
26:15
(+3)
Doran Martell:
to Ellaria Sand: "I believe in second chances. I don't believe in third chances."
(Threat)
Glasses of Wine Consumed
28:54
(+10)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei drinks at the start of Tywin Lannister's wake, as she listens to Loras drone on about Tywin's "force to be reckoned with."
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
31:50
(+10)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei's second glass of wine while listening to Lancel's attempt to convert her to religion.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
26:24
(+10)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei drinks while talking with Lord Petyr Baelish.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
26:57
(+10)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei slurps up the probably alcoholic liquid that Septa Unella spills on the dungeon floor.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
12:55
(+5)
Doran Martell:
Doran drinks after proposing a toast to Jaime Lannister. "Let us drink to Tommen, the First of His Name, King of the Andals and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms."
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
16:57
(+5)
Trystane Martell:
Trystane drinks after Areo Hotah carries out his order to knock out Bronn with his elbow.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
Acts of Intercourse
38:04
(+15)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei is stripped naked and washed by the septas in the dungeons of Baelor's Sept.
(Act of Intercourse)
45:00
(+15)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei is stripped for her walk of atonement through the streets of King's Landing.
(Act of Intercourse)
Deaths
2:14
(+10)
Barristan Selmy:
Barristan's body lies in Daenery's throneroom after he was cut down by the Sons of the Harpy.
(Death)
+1 for Barristan Selmy
+1 for Barristan Selmy
+1 for Barristan Selmy, +1 for Maester Aemon
+1 for Barristan Selmy, +1 for Maester Aemon
+1 for Barristan Selmy, +1 for Maester Aemon
Special
15:28
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Jaime talks to Cersei about Myrcella. "The world can't know she's our daughter."
(Special)
25:16
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Lord Baelish makes a sly reference to Cersei's incest.
Cersei: "I'm the insulted party, Lord Baelish. Ser Loras was promised to me, instead he chose the company of boys."
Petyr: "One's choice of companion is a most curious thing." (Special)
Cersei: "I'm the insulted party, Lord Baelish. Ser Loras was promised to me, instead he chose the company of boys."
Petyr: "One's choice of companion is a most curious thing." (Special)
0:00
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
The High Septon confronts Cersei with the charges of her incest: "There are those that say your children were not fathered by King Robert, that they are bastards born of incest and adultery."
(Special)
submitted by wpearsal (approved!)
49:25
(+15)
Cersei Lannister:
Members of the crowd insult Cersei with references of her incest, as she performs her walk of atonement through the streets of King's Landing.
49:25: A man yells: "Bitch! Brother fucker!"
49:48: Indistinctly from the crowd: "Brother fucker!"
50:10: A man exposes himself and exclaims: "I'm a Lannister. Suck me off!"
50:51: A women yells on the stairs before being bludgeoned by a Sparrow: "Brother fucker!"
52:07: A man yells just before Cersei reaches the Red Keep's gates: "Brother fucker!" (Special)
49:25: A man yells: "Bitch! Brother fucker!"
49:48: Indistinctly from the crowd: "Brother fucker!"
50:10: A man exposes himself and exclaims: "I'm a Lannister. Suck me off!"
50:51: A women yells on the stairs before being bludgeoned by a Sparrow: "Brother fucker!"
52:07: A man yells just before Cersei reaches the Red Keep's gates: "Brother fucker!" (Special)
submitted by coconnor723 (approved!)