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Great Balls of Tyrion | Fantasora

Great Balls of Tyrion

There's No Cure For Being A Cunt

Owner: braveartisan

28.5 roto pts (#3)
Z-Score: -0.707 (percentile: 23.97%)
Weeks at #1: 0
Categories won: Kills (933), Deaths (12)
Best Week: Episode 6: Beyond the Wall (+3.5 roto points)
Team MVP: Daenerys Targaryen (picked #1, 923 points, 81.61% of team total)

Roster Stats

Character Drafted Total Kills Politics Insults Wine Sex Kills Cmd. Thrones Deaths Special Feels
Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen, Mother of Dragons and Breaker of Chains. With her three dragons and army of Unsullied soldiers she carved out an empire of liberated slave cities in the east, and she now sets her sights westward as she sails for the Seven Kingdoms to reclaim the Iron Throne.
#1 923 858 33 12 0 10 0 0 7 3 0
Formerly a lieutenant of Mance Rayder, the King beyond the Wall, Tormund is now the de facto leader of the Wildlings and a reasoned voice in rallying them behind the cause of Jon Snow.
#11 104 50 12 36 0 0 0 0 0 6 0
The leader of the Unsullied - a highly-trained army of freed slaves who serve Daenerys Targaryen.
#20 45 24 6 0 0 15 0 0 0 0 0
A freed slave from Astapor, who serves Daenerys as an advisor and translator.
#21 31 0 3 0 0 25 0 0 0 3 0
A Red Priest from the city of Myr - he is a member of the Brotherhood Without Banners, led by Beric Dondarrion.
- 24 0 0 6 10 0 0 0 5 3 0
The new Master of Whispers in King's Landing, loyally serving Queen Cersei Lannister. A disgraced former Maester, he engages in many scientific experiments in his dungeon lab
#30 3 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 3 0
A skilled fighter and heir to House Tarth. After swearing an oath to Catelyn Stark, she continues her mission to ensure the safety of the Stark girls.
#10 1 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
The leader of the Faceless Men of Braavos, and a skilled assassin. He trains Arya to become an assassin in the House of Black and White, although she later leaves his training to return to Westeros.
#31 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
A former prostitute, Olyvar now manages Littlefinger's brothels while he is away in the Eyrie. He plays a key role in the Sparrows' indictment and imprisonment of Loras Tyrell.
- 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
- 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
#40 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Totals 1131 933 54 54 10 50 0 0 12 18 0

Roster

charId Character Special
31
Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen, Mother of Dragons and Breaker of Chains. With her three dragons and army of Unsullied soldiers she carved out an empire of liberated slave cities in the east, and she now sets her sights westward as she sails for the Seven Kingdoms to reclaim the Iron Throne.
* Announcing her titles: "Mother of Dragons", "Breaker of Chains", etc. (min. of 2 titles)
9
A skilled fighter and heir to House Tarth. After swearing an oath to Catelyn Stark, she continues her mission to ensure the safety of the Stark girls.
* Scores every time she mentions the "oath" or "vow" she swore to serve the Starks. * Scores every time someone references her size/masculinity/attractiveness.
67
Formerly a lieutenant of Mance Rayder, the King beyond the Wall, Tormund is now the de facto leader of the Wildlings and a reasoned voice in rallying them behind the cause of Jon Snow.
* every mention of "killing Crows"
* every on-screen second he stares into Brienne's soul (rounded up)
38
The leader of the Unsullied - a highly-trained army of freed slaves who serve Daenerys Targaryen.
* +1 for every 3-syllable word uttered in the Common Tongue (Westerosi English), not counting proper nouns (Daenerys, Unsullied, etc.)
* Receives standard sex points for making it to first base
37
A freed slave from Astapor, who serves Daenerys as an advisor and translator.
+1 point for each scene where she speaks Valyrian or translates.
72
The new Master of Whispers in King's Landing, loyally serving Queen Cersei Lannister. A disgraced former Maester, he engages in many scientific experiments in his dungeon lab
* +1 point whenever he receives a new specimen for his experiments
* +1 politics point when reporting information from his "little birds"
102
A Red Priest from the city of Myr - he is a member of the Brotherhood Without Banners, led by Beric Dondarrion.
+1 point every time he revives someone.
+1 when shown igniting his flaming sword
10
+1 point for every utterance of "Hodor"
Kills
Episode 3: The Queen's Justice
Grey Worm slits the throat of a Lannister guard, after sneaking past the walls of Casterly Rock via the sewer tunnels. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
54:29 (+14) Grey Worm :
At the top of the stairs, Grey Worm kills 7 Lannister soldiers, throwing his spear to impale the last one against a door. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Episode 4: The Spoils of War
Brienne beats lucky man Podrick badly in a sparring session at Winterfell, before Arya Stark inerrupts.

Brienne: "Don't lunge."
Brienne: "Don't go where your enemy leads you."
Brienne: "And don't-"
Arya: "Don't fight someone like her in the first place."
(Minor Injury of Named Character)
Daenerys, riding on Drogon's back, breaks the line of Lannister soldiers with a breath of fire. "Dracarys." (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Daenerys and Drogon make a strafing run on the Lannister caravan, torching 34 soldiers and a dozen loot wagons in the process. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Daenerys and Drogon begin a second strafing run after a volley of arrows from Jaime Lannister's archers fail to have any effect. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
As Bronn runs through the chaos of the battlefield, he shoves aside a burning Lannister soldier and encounters two other burning men. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Jaime surveys the losing battle, witnessing a field of Lannister soldiers being burned alive. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Daenerys and Drogon go on a third strafing run, flying over the river and targeting Jaime Lannister's position. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Drogon gets to roasts two consolation horses after Bronn tackles Jaime Lannnister out of the way from his ill-fated charge at Daenerys. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Episode 5: Eastwatch
After they refuse to bend the knee, Daenerys has Randyll and Dickon Tarly executed by dragonfire.

"Lord Randyll Tarly, Dickon Tarly, I, Daenerys of House Targaryen, First of My Name, Breaker of Chains, and Mother of Dragons, sentence you to die. Dracarys."
(Kill of Named Character)
Episode 6: Beyond the Wall
Tormund kills 25 wights in the ensuing battle as the Night King's Army of the Dead descends upon the group. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Daenerys and her three dragons ride in to save the day for Jon Snow, Jorah, Tormund, the Hound, and Beric, laying waste to a massive number of wights with their dragonfire. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Political Wins
Episode 1: Dragonstone
While looking into Thoros' flames, Sandor Clegane discovers the location of the planned White Walker invasion - Eastwatch-by-the-Sea -  a secret which Thoros and the Brotherhood seem to already be aware of.
---
Sandor Clegane: "Ice.  A wall of ice.  The Wall. ... It's where the Wall meets the sea.  There's a castle there.  There's a mountain.  Looks like an arrowhead.  The dead are marching past.  Thousands of them."
Beric: "Do you believe me now, Clegane?"
(Secret Discovery)
Daenerys reclaims her ancestral home, the abandoned castle of Dragonstone, once commanded by Stannis Baratheon. (Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
Episode 2: Stormborn
Daenerys overrules the direct assault advocated by the Greyjoys, Tyrells, and Dornish, opting for a less violent siege on King's Landing and attack on Casterly Rock. (Executive Decision)
Episode 3: The Queen's Justice
Missandei convinces Daenerys against flying out herself to hunt down Euron Greyjoy's Iron Fleet.

Tyrion: "You'd be flying around the open seas alone for who knows how long."
Daenerys: "I wouldn't be alone. I would have Drogon, Viserion, and Rhaegal. What can anyone do to them?"
Missandei: "They can still do something to you. It only takes one arrow."
(Convincing Argument)
Grey Worm and his Unsullied step over the bodies of dead Lannister soldiers atop the walls at Casterly Rock, surveying their victory in taking the castle. (Victorious Battle)
Episode 4: The Spoils of War
Ignoring the stern advice of Tyrion and all her other advisors, Daenerys finally puts herself and her dragons into action, riding Drogon into the field of battle to attack the Lannister caravan. (Executive Decision)
Although Drogon is injured, Daenerys and her Dothraki horde are successful in attacking the wagon train of Tyrell loot and breaking the Lannister army. (Victorious Battle)
Episode 5: Eastwatch
Daenerys rounds up the Lannister prisoners in the aftermath of the battle, which include Randyll and Dickon Tarly. (New Follower/Prisoner)
Daenerys rejects Tyrion's pleas for mercy or alternative punishments for the Lannister army, choosing to burn those who will not bend.

"I meant what I said. I'm not here to put them in chains. If that becomes an option many will take it. I gave them a choice. They made it."
(Executive Decision)
After getting that infection checked out at the Maester Clinic, Daenerys happily accepts Jorah Mormont back into service as her First Sword of the Friendzone.

Jorah: "I return to your service, my Queen, if you'll have me."
(New Follower/Prisoner)
Jon arrives to Eastwatch, where Tormund has command of the castle, meeting with Jon and taking him to the prisoners his scouts found. (Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
Tormund takes Jon to the three prisoners he has locked up underneath Eastwatch - Beric Dondarrion, Thoros, and Sandor Clegane.

"My scouts found them a mile south of the Wall. Said they were on their way here."
(New Follower/Prisoner)
Episode 6: Beyond the Wall
Daenerys rejects Tyrion's proposal that she name an heir.

Tyrion Lannister: "But there are other ways of choosing a successor. The Night's Watch has one method. The Ironborn, for all their many flaws, have another-"
Daenerys: "We will discuss the succession after I wear the crown."
(Executive Decision)
Daenerys ignores Tyrion's pleas, flying off with her three dragons to rescue Jon Snow and his expedition to capture a wight. "I'm not doing nothing again." (Executive Decision)
After she rescues Jon Snow's expedition from the Army of the Dead and pledges to fight the war, Jon swallows his pride and agrees to bend the knee.

"Alright, not Dany. How about 'My Queen'? I'd bend the knee, but..."
(New Follower/Prisoner)
Insults Delivered / Funny Lines
Episode 1: Dragonstone
"You're a lucky man." - to Podrick after he gets knocked down by Brienne during sparring practice. (Funny Line)
Episode 2: Stormborn
on Melisandre's arrival to Dragonstone, after Varys protests that she had served Stannis Baratheon: "You chose an auspicious day to arrive at Dragonstone. We've just decided to pardon those who once served the wrong King." (Witty Insult)
submitted by kimberly.ramia (approved!)
Episode 3: The Queen's Justice
Daenerys catches Tyrion in one of his signature made-up proverbs and calls him out:

Tyrion: "I'd very much like to believe that Jon Snow is wrong. But a wise man once said that you should never believe a thing simply because you want to believe it."
Daenerys: "Which wise man said this?"
Tyrion: "I don't remember."
Daenerys: "Are you trying to present your own statements as ancient wisdom?"
(Funny Line)
submitted by jedjackoway (approved!)
Episode 4: The Spoils of War
Missandei: "Your Grace, there's still no word from the Unsullied."
Daenerys: "Soon, he (Grey Worm) will come back to you."
Missandei: "He better."
Daenerys: "What happened?"
Missandei: "Many things."
Daenerys: "... many things?" ?
(Funny Line)
Episode 5: Eastwatch
Tormund: "Isn't it your job to talk him out of stupid fucking ideas like this?"
Davos: "I've been failing at that job of late.
(Funny Line)
Tormund: "How many queens are there now?"
Jon Snow: "Two."
Tormund: "And you need to convince the one with the dragons or the one who fucks her brother?"
(Funny Line)
Davos: "I'll be staying behind. I'm a liability out there, as you well know."
Tormund: "You are."
(Funny Line)
Episode 6: Beyond the Wall
Gendry: "How do you live up here? How d'you keep your balls from freezing off?"
Tormund: "You've got to keep moving, that's the secret. Walking's good, fighting's better, fucking's best."
Jon Snow: "There's not a living woman within 100 miles of here."
Tormund, eyeing Gendry: "We have to make do with what we've got."
(Funny Line)
Jon Snow: "She will only fight beside us if I bend the knee."
Tormund: "You spent too much time with the Free Folk. Now you don't like kneeling."
(Witty Insult)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Tormund: "Were your born mean, or you just hate Wildlings?"
Sandor Clegane: "I could not give two shits about Wildlings. Gingers, I hate."
Tormund: "Gingers are beautiful. Kissed by fire."
(Funny Line)
Sandor Clegane: "You're with Brienne of fucking Tarth?"
Tormund: "Well, not with her yet. But I see the way she looks at me."
Sandor: "How does she look at you? Like she wants to carve you up and eat your liver?"
Tormund: "You do know her."
(Funny Line)
Tormund: "I want to make babies with her - think of them. Great big monsters. They'd conquer the world." (Funny Line)
submitted by Laxis (approved!)
Tyrion Lannister: "I'm trying to serve you by planning for the long term."
Daenerys: "Perhaps if you'd planned for the short term, we wouldn't have lost Dorne and Highgarden."
(Witty Insult)
Jorah Mormont: "Something I've always wanted to know ... How drunk were you when you charged through the breach on Pyke?"
Thoros: "If I'm being honest, I don't remember charging through the breach. Some of the lads told me about it the next morning. Sounded like a good scrap."
(Funny Line)
Jorah Mormont: "The Ironborn thought you were some kind of god. The way you were waving that flaming sword. I thought you were the bravest man I ever saw."
Thoros: "Just the drunkest."
(Funny Line)
Glasses of Wine Consumed
Episode 5: Eastwatch
Episode 6: Beyond the Wall
Acts of Intercourse
Episode 2: Stormborn
26:45 (+25) Missandei:
Missandei gets with Grey Worm on the very last night before he sails off for Casterly Rock. (Act of Intercourse)
28:00 (+10) Grey Worm :
Grey Worm gets with Missandei on the very last night before he sails off for Casterly Rock. (Act of Intercourse)
Episode 7: The Dragon and the Wolf
Daenerys invites Jon Snow into her room so that he can properly bend the knee. (Act of Intercourse)
Deaths
Episode 6: Beyond the Wall
Thoros is found dead in the morning, having succumbed to his injuries and lack of snuggles in the frost as the the group is marooned on the rock isle in the middle of the frozen lake. (Death)
Viserion slumps into the icy depths of the lake after having been fatally struck by an ice javelin from the Night King. (Death)
Viseron's body is dragged back out from under the ice lake by a chain gang of wights. (Dead Body Appearance)
Special
Episode 1: Dragonstone
Tormund eyes Brienne on the grounds of Winterfell as she spars with Podrick. (Special)
After Tormund speaks to Podrick, he returns his gaze to Brienne and approaches her. (Special)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Thoros conjures a magic prophecy fire to share a vision of the White Walker invasion with Sandor Clegane. (Special)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Episode 2: Stormborn
8:35 (+3) Missandei:
Missandei gives a lesson on Valyrian gendered pronouns in ancient prophecies: "Your Grace, forgive me, but your translation is not quite accurate. That noun has no gender in High Valyrian, so proper translation for that prophecy would be 'the prince or princess who was promised will bring the dawn'. (Special)
19:17 (+3) Qyburn:
Qyburn presents a high-powered dragon-killing ballista to Cersei. "Apparently, one of Daenerys' dragons was wounded by spears in the fighting pits of Meereen. If they can be wounded, they can be killed." (Special)
Episode 5: Eastwatch
"Lord Randyll Tarly, Dickon Tarly, I, Daenerys of House Targaryen, First of My Name, Breaker of Chains, and Mother of Dragons, sentence you to die. Dracarys." (Special)
Episode 6: Beyond the Wall
Thoros lights his sword on fire as the wight bear descends on the party. (Special)
The Feels
Episode 4: The Spoils of War
While watching on as the living Stark children together in the courtyard of Winterfell:

Podrick: "Catelyn Stark would be proud. You've kept your vow."
Brienne: "I did next to nothing."
Podrick: "You're too hard on yourself, My Lady."
Brienne: "I'm not- ...thank you, Podrick."
(Warm Fuzzy Moment)
Episode 5: Eastwatch
Jon Snow, secret Targaryen, shares a moment and boops le snoot of the fierce and beautiful - gorgeous!, actually - Drogon. (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
Daenerys says her goodbyes to Jorah once again, as she takes his hands into hers.

Daenerys: "We should be better at saying farewell by now."
Jorah: "Your Grace, I-" (stunned speechless by actual physical contact)
(Warm Fuzzy Moment)