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House of snark | Fantasora

House of snark

House Dev for the Throne

Owner: alkaconsultant

4-2, 47 roto pts (#4)
Z-Score: 0.663 (percentile: 74.63%)
Weeks at #1: 0
Categories won: Political Wins (69), Insults Delivered / Funny Lines (84), Glasses of Wine Consumed (75), A Game of Thrones (41)
Best Week: Episode 2: A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms (+9 roto points)
Team MVP: Tyrion Lannister (picked #8, 206 points, 47.58% of team total)
Longest winstreak: W-3

Roster Stats

Character Drafted Total Kills Politics Insults Wine Sex Thrones Deaths Special Feels
#8 206 0 30 57 55 0 20 0 0 44
#9 89 0 15 12 10 0 11 0 6 35
#25 86 52 18 0 0 5 0 0 6 5
#24 51 0 6 15 10 0 9 0 3 8
#41 1 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 0
#72 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
#57 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
#56 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
#40 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
#73 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Totals 433 52 69 84 75 5 41 0 15 92

Roster

charId Character Special
17
* +1 point each time he is denied a drink
* +1 point whenever he physically gives someone a coin (or other legal tender)
5
* Lady's actions contribute to her points.
* +1 point in every scene she cries
50
* +1 point every time his fingers or onions are referenced
* +1 point when invoking Shireen's name
38
* +1 for every 3-syllable word uttered in the Common Tongue (Westerosi English), not counting proper nouns (Daenerys, Unsullied, etc.)
* Receives standard sex points for making it to first base
13
+1 every time she transports Bran
84
Gains points in the the Wine category for breastfeeding.
+1 point when he mentions making something "fly".
233
126
+1 point whenever he name-drops that the brothel "is Lord Petyr Baelish's establishment"
255
161
Kills
Episode 3: The Long Night
Grey Worm stabs a wight as it climbs over the wall. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Grey Worm lands a blow on a wight as it tries to climb the wall. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Grey Worm defends a cowering Sam from the wights. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
A bloodied Grey Worm fights off a wight with his spear. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Grey Worm runs through a wight. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Episode 5: The Bells
37:48 (+10) Grey Worm :
Grey Worm throws his spear through the back of a fleeing Captain Strickland, as the Unsullied forces rout the remains of the Golden Company and charge the King's Landing gate. (Kill of Named Character)
Grey Worm throws a spear through the heart of a surrendered Lannister soldier, following his Queen's lead to raze the city and take no prisoners. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
47:11 (+18) Grey Worm :
Grey Worm goes on a 9-soldier killing spree as he mows down Lannister soldiers with his spear in the fracas after their surrender. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Grey Worm spears 4 more soldiers as the fight against the Lannister soldiers continue. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Episode 6: The Iron Throne
Grey Worm slits the throat of a Lannister prisoner. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Political Wins
Episode 2: A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms
Theon returns North and pledges his services to Sansa. "I want to fight for Winterfell, Lady Sansa. If you'll have me." (New Follower/Prisoner)
Episode 4: The Last of the Starks
Tyrion and Jon convince Daenerys to take a more cautioned approach to the war and lay siege to King's Landing instead of destroying it.

Daenerys: "No matter how many lords turn against her, as long as she sits on the Iron Throne, she can call herself Queen of the Seven Kingdoms. We need the capital."
Tyrion: "I watched the people of King's Landing rebel against their king when they were hungry, and that was before winter began. Give them the opportunity and they will cast Cersei aside."
Jon: "We'll surround the city. If the Iron Fleet tries to ferry in more food, the dragons will destroy them. If the Lannisters and the Golden Company attack, we'll defeat them in the field."
Tyrion: "Once the people see that Cersei is our only enemy, her reign is over."
(Convincing Argument)
Arya and Sansa learn of Jon Snow's true heritage as a secret Targaryen and heir to the Iron Throne. (Secret Discovery)
Sansa breaks her promise to Jon, divulging his secret heritage to Tyrion Lannister. "What if there's someone else? Someone better?" (Act of Betrayal)
Tyrion learns of Jon's heritage as a secret Targaryen and claimant to the Iron Throne through Sansa. (Secret Discovery)
Episode 5: The Bells
Tyrion rats out Varys for his betrayal of Daenerys. (Act of Betrayal)
Tyrion speaks his way past the Unsullied guards stationed outside of Jaime's tent
Unsullied: "We have orders to guard the prisoner."
Tyrion: "Ordered by whom, the Queen herself?"
Unsullied: "No."
Tyrion: "Well, in that case, as Hand of the Queen, I outrank whomever gave your order, probably by quite a lot."
(Convincing Argument)
Tyrion convinces Jaime to undertake the covert mission to smuggle Cersei out of King's Landing and escape to a new life.

"Do it. If you don't, you'll never see Cersei again."
(Convincing Argument)
Tyrion unlocks Jaime's chains and frees him, sending him on a covert mission to rescue Cersei and end the war before Daenerys destroys the city.

"Tens of thousands of innocent lives. One not particularly innocent dwarf. Seems like a fair trade."
(Act of Betrayal)
The Northern forces win the ground war over the Lannister army, who are in disarray after surrendering their weapons and attempting to flee. (Victorious Battle)
Episode 6: The Iron Throne
Davos talks down the confrontation between Jon Snow and Grey Worm over the Lannister prisoners, convincing Jon to speak to Queen Daenerys first. (Convincing Argument)
Grey Worm carries through with executing the Lannister prisoners over objections from Davos and Jon Snow.

Grey Worm: "It is not over until the queen's enemies are defeated."
Davos Seaworth: "How much more defeated do you want them to be? They're on their knees."
Grey Worm: "They are breathing."
(Executive Decision)
Daenerys names Grey Worm to her Small Council as her new Master of War.

"You have walked beside me since the Plaza of Pride. You are the bravest of men, the most loyal of soldiers. I name you commander of all my forces, the Queen's Master of War."
(New Title)
Tyrion convinces Jon to betray Daenerys for the good of the realm. "It's a terrible thing I'm asking. It's also the right thing." (Convincing Argument)
After Daenerys Targaryen's death, Grey Worm has taken charge of Tyrion as his prisoner, bringing him to the dragonpit to await judgment. (New Follower/Prisoner)
Grey Worm confirms he also has Jon in his custody.

Sansa: "Where's Jon?"
Grey Worm: "He is our prisoner."
(New Follower/Prisoner)
Tyrion successfully deflects Grey Worm from discussing his fate by dangling a juicy power struggle in front of the Lords of Westeros instead.

Grey Worm: "You are not here to speak! Everyone has heard enough words from you."
Tyrion: "You're right. And no one's any better for it. But it's not for you to decide. Jon committed his crime here. His fate is for our king to decide. Or our queen."
Lord Royce: "We don't have a king or queen."
Tyrion: "You're the most powerful people in Westeros. Choose one."
(Convincing Argument)
Tyrion is succesful in his nomination of Bran Stark for King of Westeros.

"I've had nothing to do but think these past few weeks. About our bloody history. About the mistakes we've made. What unites people? Armies? Gold? Flags? Stories. There's nothing in the world more powerful than a good story. Nothing can stop it. No enemy can defeat it. And who has a better story than Bran the Broken?"
(Convincing Argument)
Sansa defies the rule of Bran Stark and proclaims that the North will secede from the Seven Kingdoms.

"...tens of thousands of Northmen fell in the Great War defending all of Westeros. And those who survived have seen too much and fought too hard ever to kneel again. The North will remain an independent kingdom, as it was for thousands of years."
(Executive Decision)
Tyrion is named as King Bran Stark's Hand. (New Title)
Forced by the demands of Grey Worm and the Unsullied, the rest of Westeros throws Jon under a bus, exiling him to the Night's Watch while everyone else gets noble titles.

Tyrion: "Giving you to the Unsullied would start a war. Letting you walk free would start a war. So our new king has chosen to send you to the Night's Watch."
(Convincing Argument)
Davos is named the Master of Ships in King Bran's new Small Council (New Title)
Sansa is declared the Queen in the new, independent North (New Title)
Insults Delivered / Funny Lines
Episode 1: Winterfell
to Varys as they arrive in a frigid Winterfell: "You should consider yourself lucky. At least your balls won't freeze off." (Funny Line)
Tyrion: "Last time we spoke was at Joffrey's wedding. Miserable affair."
Sansa: "It had its moments."
(Funny Line)
to Tyrion, for thinking Cersei would honor the agreement to support them with the Lannister Army: "I used to think you were the cleverest man alive." (Witty Insult)
submitted by gravesalex0 (approved!)
Varys (observing banners): "The Karstarks."
Tyrion: "One of the better sigils. Beats an onion, anyway."
(Funny Line)
Varys: "Jon and Daenerys don't want to listen to lonely old men."
Tyrion: "I'm not that old... not as old as him (Davos Seaworth)."
(Funny Line)
Episode 2: A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms
Tyrion comments on the Lannister brothers reunion as they are spat upon by Northerners.

"Well, here we are... together again. And the masses rejoice."
(Funny Line)
Tyrion: "So, we're going to die. At Winterfell. Not the death I would've chosen. I always pictured myself dying in my own bed, at the age of 80, with a belly fully of wine and a [in unison with Jaime] girl's mouth around my cock." (Funny Line)
Tyrion: "You've had a strange journey."
Bran: "Stranger than most."
Tyrion: "I'd like to hear about it.
Bran: "It's a long story."
Tyrion: "If only we were in a castle, in the middle of winter with nowhere to go."
(Funny Line)
to Jaime: "I wish father were here. I would love to see the look on his face when he realizes his two sons are about to die defending Winterfell." (Funny Line)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Brienne: "We didn't meant to interrupt, we were just looking for someplace warm to-"
Tyrion: "-to contemplate your imminent death. You've come to the right place."
(Funny Line)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Tyrion: "How about a song? One of you must know one. Ser Davos?"
Davos: "You'll pray for a quick death.
(Funny Line)
Episode 3: The Long Night
"You might be surprised at the lengths I'd go to avoid joining the Army of the Dead. I could think of no organization less suited to my talents." (Funny Line)
submitted by ryanmcfarlane09 (approved!)
Tyrion: "Maybe we should have stayed married."
Sansa: "You were the best of them."
Tyrion: "What a terrifying thought."
(Funny Line)
submitted by ryanmcfarlane09 (approved!)
Episode 4: The Last of the Starks
Sansa: "... he got what he deserved. I gave it to him."
Sandor: "How?"
Sansa: "Hounds."
(Funny Line)
ribbing Jaime on his new dedication to Brienne: "I'm happy. I'm happy that you're happy. I'm happy that you'll finally have to climb for it." (Funny Line)
ribbing Jaime on his new dedication to Brienne: "Do you know how long I've waited to tell tall-person jokes?" (Funny Line)
to Sansa: "My Lady. [long pause] ...'My Lord' is the standard response." (Funny Line)
Varys: "He (Jon Snow) is a man, which makes him more appealing to the lords of Westeros, whose support we are going to need."
Tyrion: "Joffrey was a man. I don't think a cock is a true qualification, as I'm sure you'd agree."
(Witty Insult)
Episode 5: The Bells
Tyrion attempts to speak to the Unsullied guards.

"I drink to eat the skull keeper."
"I want to eat the skull keeper."
"I want to see the..."
Unsullied: "-we speak the Common Tongue."
(Funny Line)
Episode 6: The Iron Throne
"I suppose there's a crude kind of justice. I betrayed my closest friend and watched him burn. Now Varys's ashes can tell my ashes: See, I told you." (Funny Line)
Edmure Tully: "I suppose this is the most important moment of our lives. What we decide today will reverberate through the annals of history. I stand before you as one of the senior lords in the country. A veteran of two wars. And I like to think my experience has led to some small skill in statecraft - and underst-
Sansa: "Uncle? Please sit."
(Witty Insult)
"I'm not sure I get a vote, but aye." (Funny Line)
Jon: "I don't expect we'll ever see each other again."
Tyrion: "I wouldn't be so sure. A few years as Hand of the King would make anyone want to piss off the edge of the world."
(Funny Line)
to Bronn: "These projects will begin as soon as the Master of Coin and Lord of Lofty Titles provides funding." (Witty Insult)
Bronn: "The Master of Coin looks forward to helping the Master of Ships, but first he has to ensure we're not wasting coin, or soon there won't be no more coin."
Davos: "Any more."
(Funny Line)
Tyrion: "I once brought a jackass and a honeycomb into a brothel." (Funny Line)
Glasses of Wine Consumed
Episode 2: A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms
Tyrion drinks in front of the fireplace at Winterfell as he chats with Jaime. "I wish father were here." (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Episode 3: The Long Night
Tyrion takes a swig from his wineskin after he realizes he has nothing to say to Sansa in the Winterfell crypts. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Tyrion drinks from his second wineskin as Varys and Sansa tell him to give up hope of venturing upstairs and being useful for the battle. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Tyrion drinks some liquid courage from his wineskin as the wights come bashing through to the crypt level. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Episode 4: The Last of the Starks
Tyrion drinks in the far background as Gendry scoots his way up the aisle. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Sansa stuffs her face with another cup as Gendry scoots his way down the aisle. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Tyrion refills and drinks at the the refill station as he and Davos discuss the political drama to come. "We may have defeated them, but we still have us to contend with." (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Davos is handed a cup by Tyrion as they worry about the mysteries of the Lord of Light and the political infighting situation. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Tyrion drinks at the table with Jaime and Brienne as they kick off their drinking game of guesses. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Davos drinks in the foreground as Tormund regales the crowd with the legends of Jon Snow. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Brienne tells Tyrion he is wrong about his guess, and he is forced to drink. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Jaime and Tyrion drink after toasting to Jaime's new relationship with Brienne. "To climbing mountains." (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Tyrion drinks in the ship's cabin while discussing the issue of Jon Snow's parentage with Varys. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Tyrion drinks in the throne room at Dragonstone as he and Varys discuss how to reign in Daenerys. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
A Game of Thrones
Episode 1: Winterfell
Sansa sits at the head of the table alongside Jon Snow as they host the Northern Lords at Winterfell. (Basic Seat)
Tyrion sits at the head table to the side of Sansa and Jon Snow, as they host the Northern Lords at Winterfell. (Basic Seat)
Sansa sits in her chambers as she discusses the cowardice of Robbet Glover, who is not sending his troops. (Basic Seat)
Episode 2: A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms
Sansa is seated at the head table in Winterfell as the court interrogates Jaime Lannister. (Basic Seat)
Sansa sits down with Daenerys during their 1:1 chat. (Basic Seat)
Tyrion sits down to hear Bran's story.

Bran: "It's a long story."
Tyrion: "If only we were in a castle, in the middle of winter with nowhere to go."
(Basic Seat)
Davos and the fireplace crew continue sitting. (Basic Seat)
Davos and the fireplace crew continue sitting. (Basic Seat)
Tyrion sits as Davos declares "we're out of wine" to the fireplace crew. (Basic Seat)
Davos sits as he declares "we're out of wine" to the fireplace crew. (Basic Seat)
Episode 4: The Last of the Starks
Sansa sits at the head table during the celebratory feast at Winterfell. (Basic Seat)
Tyrion sits at the head table during the celebratory feast at Winterfell. (Basic Seat)
Davos sits and observes nervously as Daenerys calls out Gendry for his Baratheon heritage. (Basic Seat)
Tyrion sits with Jaime in front of a fireplace in Winterfell, as Tyrion ribs Jaime on his newfound romance with Brienne. (Basic Seat)
Tyrion sits with Varys in the cabin below deck, discussing the secret of Jon's parentage. (Basic Seat)
Episode 6: The Iron Throne
Sansa is seated as the Lords and Ladies of Westeros meet in the Dragonpit for Tyrion Lannister's trial. (Basic Seat)
Davos is seated as the Lords and Ladies of Westeros meet in the Dragonpit for Tyrion Lannister's trial. (Basic Seat)
Davos returns to his seat after his passioned pleas for Grey Worm and the Unsullied to end the confrontation and settle in the Reach are rejected. (Basic Seat)
Robin sits as the Lords and Ladies of Westeros gather in King's Landing to discuss the fate of Tyrion Lannister and the Kingdom. (Basic Seat)
Sansa sits back down after the Lords rise to anoint Bran Stark as King of Six Kingdoms. (Basic Seat)
Davos sits back down after the Lords rise to anoint Bran Stark as King of Six Kingdoms. (Basic Seat)
Tyrion tries out his seat in the Hand's chair before the Small Council meeting begins. (Seat of Power)
Tyrion hurriedly sits back into the Hand's chair as he hears the Small Council members enter the room. (Seat of Power)
Davos is seated at the Small Council meeting as Tyrion reviews Archmaester Ebrose's historical tome, "A Song of Ice and Fire" (Basic Seat)
Tyrion returns to the Hand's seat after Bran arrives at the Small Council meeting. (Seat of Power)
Davos reseats himself after Bran arrives at the Small Council meeting. (Basic Seat)
Davos reseats himself at the Small Council meeting after King Bran's departure. (Basic Seat)
Davos reseats himself in the Hand's chair at the Small Council meeting after King Bran's departure. (Seat of Power)
Sansa takes her throne in the Winterfell Great Hall as Queen in the North (Seat of Power)
Special
Episode 1: Winterfell
Episode 2: A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms
"I am loyal to my Queen. I will fight for her until her *enemies* are *defeated.* (Special)
Episode 4: The Last of the Starks
The Feels
Episode 2: A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms
Davos encounters a Northern girl with a scarred face, much like Shireen Baratheon's.

Nothern girl: "Which way should I go?"
Davos: "Which way do you want to go?"
(Sad Feels)
Grey Worm and Missandei make plans for summer vacation after the war is done.
Missandei: "My people are peaceful. We cannot protect ourselves."
Grey Worm: "My people are not peaceful. We will protect you."
(Warm Fuzzy Moment)
Episode 3: The Long Night
Sansa and Tyrion wax nostalgic to their King's Landing days, and all the trials they've endured since

Tyrion: "Maybe we should have stayed married."
Sansa: "You were the best of them."
(Warm Fuzzy Moment)
submitted by brendan.hamme (approved!)
Sansa and Tyrion wax nostalgic to their King's Landing days, and all the trials they've endured since

Tyrion: "Maybe we should have stayed married."
Sansa: "You were the best of them."
(Warm Fuzzy Moment)
submitted by okaymkay (approved!)
As the dead make their way into the Crypts, Sansa and Tyrion hide behind a tomb and share a tender moment. Tyrion kisses her hand as they pull out their weapons and join the fray. (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
submitted by brendan.hamme (approved!)
Episode 4: The Last of the Starks
Sansa grieves over the body of Theon Greyjoy as the forces at Winterfell gather to honor the dead. She leaves him with her Stark brooch before lighting the funeral pyre. (Sad Feels)
Sandor Clegane and Sansa talk about their long journeys and roads not taken.

Sandor: " You've changed, Little Bird. None of it would have happened if you'd left King's Landing with me. No Littlefinger, no Ramsay none of it."
Sansa: "Without Littlefinger, and Ramsay, and the rest... I would have stayed a Little Bird all my life."
(Warm Fuzzy Moment)
Arya and Sansa stage a family intervention with Jon Snow to bring him back to the Stark side.

Jon: "I've never been a Stark."
Sansa: "You are. You're just as much Ned Stark's child as any of us."
Arya: "You're my brother. Not my half-brother or my bastard brother. My brother."
(Warm Fuzzy Moment)
Episode 5: The Bells
Tyrion attempts to speak to the Unsullied guards.

"I drink to eat the skull keeper."
"I want to eat the skull keeper."
"I want to see the..."
Unsullied: "-we speak the Common Tongue."
(Ridiculously Funny Moment)
Tyrion frees Jaime and the Lannister brothers say their goodbyes on the eve of the attack on King's Landing.

Tyrion: "You were the only one who didn't treat me like a monster. You were all I had."
(Sad Feels)
Episode 6: The Iron Throne
Tyrion discovers the bodies of Jaime and Cersei buried beneath the rubble of the Red Keep. (Sad Feels)
The Starks share their farewells with Jon Snow before he is exiled off to the Night's Watch.

Sansa: "But they (the North) lost their King."
Jon: "Ned Stark's daughter will speak for them. She's the best they could ask for."
(Warm Fuzzy Moment)
An exacerbated Tyrion reacts as the Small Council arrives and proceed to rearrange his carefully placed chairs. (Ridiculously Funny Moment)
Davos drags out and drops one of Tyrion's carefully arranged Small Council chairs to the Hand's exasperation. (Ridiculously Funny Moment)
Tyrion inquires about how history regards him in the Archmaester Ebrose's new historical tome, "A Song of Ice and Fire" - but is told by Samwell Tarly that he isn't actually mentioned in it. (Ridiculously Funny Moment)