A girl just wants to have fun
Arya Not Entertained
Owner: saraanntate
5-5, 40.5 roto pts (#4)
Z-Score:
0 (percentile: 50%)
Weeks at #1: 1
Categories won:
Insults Delivered / Funny Lines (108)
Best Week:
Episode 1: The Red Woman
(+10 roto points)
Team MVP:
Jaime Lannister
(picked #8,
94 points,
33.45% of team total)
Longest winstreak: W-3
Roster Stats
Roster
charId | Character | Special |
---|---|---|
19 |
Jaime Lannister
The second of the Lannister children, he is Cersei's lover and twin brother, and also the father of her three bastard children, the supposed sons and daughters of the late King Robert Baratheon. He also serves as Lord Commander of the Kingsguard, and recently returns from a mission to Dorne to rescue his daughter/niece, Myrcella Baratheon.
|
* +1 point for awkward waves with his metal hand * +1 point when he uses his metal hand in a combat situation * +1 point when someone (excl. Cersei) references incest with Cersei or her childrens' bastardy directly to him * 2x multiplier for sex acts involving incest (first cousin or closer) |
82 |
Varys
Formerly the Master of Whisperers in King's Landing, Varys controls a vast network of spies. After smuggling Tyrion Lannister to Essos, he reveals himself as a supporter of Daenerys Targaryen's claim to the Iron Throne. In Daenerys' absence, he serves with Tyrion Lannister and presides over the rule of Meereen.
|
* +1 politics point when he meets another character in secret * +1 point when someone references his being a eunuch to him * +1 point when he passes along information from his "little birds" |
37 |
Missandei
A freed slave from Astapor, who serves Daenerys as an advisor and translator.
|
+1 point for each scene where she speaks Valyrian or translates. |
23 |
Bronn
A former sellsword, who has risen through the ranks of nobility thanks to his fighting skills and work for the Lannisters. He recently accompanied Jaime Lannister on a sensitive diplomatic mission to Dorne to rescue the Princeess Myrcella Baratheon.
|
+1 point when he gives expert critique/advice on fighting strategy |
59 |
Olenna Redwyne (Grandma Tyrell)
The matriarch of House Tyrell, Olenna is the grandmother of Margaery and Loras. She is known as the "Queen of Thorns" for her sarcasm and wit.
|
+1 point every time she interlocks arms with someone while walking. |
58 |
Mace Tyrell
The head of House Tyrell and Lord of Highgarden. He is the father of Loras and Margaery. While bumbling and appearing incompetent, he heads a powerful House and serves as both Master of Ships and Master of Coin on King Tommen Baratheon's Small Council.
|
+1 point every time he volunteers for something without being asked |
92 |
Edmure Tully
Catelyn Stark's brother, and the heir to House Tully and Riverrun. He is held as a prisoner of Lord Walder Frey after the betrayal at the Red Wedding.
|
|
195 |
Septa Unella
A Septa and member of the Most Devout, the council that rules the Faith of the Seven. She rings the shame! shame! shame! bell.
|
+1 point for each bell ringing (S6 onwards) |
Kills
2:50
(+10)
Jaime Lannister:
Jaime slays the Mad King Aerys II during one of Bran's flashback visions.
(Kill of Named Character)
21:39
(+2)
Jaime Lannister:
Jaime clobbers Black Walder with his golden hand, leaving him with a severe bruise to the cheek.
Jaime: "Only a fool makes threats he's not prepared to carry out. Now let's say I threatened to hit you unless you shut your mouth, but you kept talking. What do you think I'd do?"
Black Walder: "I don't give a rat's-" *smack* (Minor Injury of Named Character)
Jaime: "Only a fool makes threats he's not prepared to carry out. Now let's say I threatened to hit you unless you shut your mouth, but you kept talking. What do you think I'd do?"
Black Walder: "I don't give a rat's-" *smack* (Minor Injury of Named Character)
submitted by bookworm13457 (approved!)
21:45
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Jaime acquires Edmure Tully as his prisoner after taking over the Siege of Riverrun.
(New Follower/Prisoner)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Political Wins
Varys' investigations have exposed Vala, the Meereenese prostitute who lured the Unsullied to her brothel so that the Sons of the Harpy could murder them.
"I know who you are and what you've done. You've done a lot. You've sacrificed your body for a cause, which is more than most people do. And you've helped the Sons of the Harpy murder the Unsullied and the Second Sons." (Secret Discovery)
"I know who you are and what you've done. You've done a lot. You've sacrificed your body for a cause, which is more than most people do. And you've helped the Sons of the Harpy murder the Unsullied and the Second Sons." (Secret Discovery)
submitted by moonbaseu92 (approved!)
Varys has discovered the source of the rebellion's funding after coercing the prostitute Vala.
"Sorry.. I was busy, learning who funds the Sons of the Harpy. Some things you can't rush... The Good Masters of Astapor, and the Wise Masters of Yunkai, with help from their friends in Volantis." (Secret Discovery)
"Sorry.. I was busy, learning who funds the Sons of the Harpy. Some things you can't rush... The Good Masters of Astapor, and the Wise Masters of Yunkai, with help from their friends in Volantis." (Secret Discovery)
39:27
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Jaime assists Cersei in convincing Kevan Lannister and Olenna Tyrell to march the Tyrell army into King's Landing to arrest the High Sparrow and rescue Queen Margaery. "When the High Sparrow is in custody or dead, preferably, and Margaery's back at Tommen's side, do you think the king will be angry at the outcome?"
(Convincing Argument)
submitted by coconnor723 (approved!)
2:50
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Jaime stabs the Mad King Aerys II in the back during one of Bran's flashback visions.
(Act of Betrayal)
41:32
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Despite being demoted out of the Kingsguard, Jaime is assigned a new role as head of the Lannister armies sent to deal with the Blackfish in the Riverlands. "I'm being sent to deal with the Blackfish. Apparently Walder Frey can't manage it on his own because he's 400 years old. Sent me with an army to the Riverlands and a siege that could last months."
(New Title)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
21:55
(+6)
Jaime Lannister:
Lothar Frey and Black Walder find themselves under Jaime Lannister's command as he arrives to take over the siege forces surrounding Riverrun.
(New Follower/Prisoner)
35:31
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Jaime successfully convinces Edmure Tully to comply with his plan to retake Riverrun, sending him to the gates to ask for entry.
(Convincing Argument)
36:55
(+3)
Edmure Tully:
Edmure requests access into Riverrun and receives it from the head of the Tully guard, despite a vigorous protest from his uncle Brynden Tully.
(Executive Decision)
38:29
(+3)
Edmure Tully:
Edmure regains control of Riverrun after he is let in by his loyal Tully soldiers.
(Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
38:36
(+3)
Edmure Tully:
Edmure commands the Tully forces to lay down their arms and surrender Riverrun to the Lannister/Frey forces.
(Executive Decision)
39:35
(+3)
Edmure Tully:
After turning over Riverrun to the Lannisters/Freys, Edmure orders the arrest of his uncle, the Blackfish. "Find the Blackfish. Put him in irons and hand him over to the Freys."
(Act of Betrayal)
submitted by cfitzgerald (approved!)
40:00
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Jaime is victorious in the Siege of Riverrun after his Trojan Horse, Edmure Tully, gains access to the castle and willingly opens his gates to the Lannister army.
(Victorious Battle)
41:19
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Jaime captures the castle of Riverrun.
(Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
41:50
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
While watching from the ramparts of the newly-acquired Riverrun, Jaime spots Brienne and Podrick rowing away from the castle under the cover of night.
(Secret Discovery)
submitted by nsimmonds (approved!)
Insults Delivered / Funny Lines
23:57
(+3)
Septa Unella:
Margery: "I am the Queen and I demand to see my brother."
Unella: "Sinners do not make demands. They make confessions" (Comeback)
Unella: "Sinners do not make demands. They make confessions" (Comeback)
submitted by smarlow13 (approved!)
Tyrion to homeless mother: "For your baby. To eat." [makes stuffing motion into mouth]
Varys. "She thinks you want to eat her baby." (Funny Line)
Varys. "She thinks you want to eat her baby." (Funny Line)
19:08
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
High Sparrow: "You would spill blood in this holy place?"
Jaime: "Oh the Gods won't mind. They spill more blood than the rest of us combined." (Threat)
Jaime: "Oh the Gods won't mind. They spill more blood than the rest of us combined." (Threat)
Tyrion: "Dragons are intelligent ... They have affection for their friends and fury for their enemies. I am their friend."
Varys: "Do *they* know that?" (Funny Line)
Varys: "Do *they* know that?" (Funny Line)
submitted by danmirabile13 (approved!)
Varys shakes his head and tsks as Tyrion pours out a glass of wine during a meeting of the Meereenese advising council.
(Funny Line)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
to Unsullied guards while fanning himself: "I don't know how you stand in all that leather."
(Funny Line)
submitted by danmirabile13 (approved!)
30:35
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
to Qyburn: "Does he (Gregor Clegane) understand what we're saying? I mean, to the extent that he ever understood complete sentences in the first place."
(Witty Insult)
Olenna: "I was invited, my dear, to help deal with several troublesome issues, such as the Queen's imprisonment."
Cersei: "Thank you for bringing it up. It's well past time we addressed the abuses I endured."
Olenna: "Margaery is the Queen. You are not the Queen, because you're not married to the king. I do appreciate these things can get a bit confusing in your family."
(Witty Insult)
Cersei: "Thank you for bringing it up. It's well past time we addressed the abuses I endured."
Olenna: "Margaery is the Queen. You are not the Queen, because you're not married to the king. I do appreciate these things can get a bit confusing in your family."
(Witty Insult)
Tyrion: "Trust me. My own recent experience with slavery have taught me the horrors of that institution."
Missandei: "How many days were you a slave?"
Tyrion: "...long enough to know."
Missandei: "Not long enough to understand." (Witty Insult)
Missandei: "How many days were you a slave?"
Tyrion: "...long enough to know."
Missandei: "Not long enough to understand." (Witty Insult)
Tyrion, in Valyrian: "Large sorry... you wait so fat time."
Missandei: "Perhaps I should translate for you." (Funny Line)
Missandei: "Perhaps I should translate for you." (Funny Line)
Cersei: "You once spoke of your respect for our father because he understood the necessity of working with one's rivals."
Olenna: "My dear, you have been stripped of your dignity and authority, publicly shamed, and confined to the Red Keep. What's left to work with?" (Witty Insult)
Olenna: "My dear, you have been stripped of your dignity and authority, publicly shamed, and confined to the Red Keep. What's left to work with?" (Witty Insult)
35:18
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
to High Sparrow: "You've already insulted one great house. It won't happen twice. Every last sparrow will die before Margaery Tyrell walks down that street."
(Threat)
41:32
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
"I'm being sent to deal with the Blackfish. Apparently Walder Frey can't manage it on his own because he's 400 years old."
(Witty Insult)
remaking on Septa Unella: "Does it move or talk?"
(Witty Insult)
submitted by ace75318 (approved!)
to Septa Unella: "You're now in your sanctuary now, my dear. All I have to do is whistle and my men will stroll you in here and bash you about until I tell them to stop... *if* I tell them to stop."
(Threat)
to Cersei: "I wonder if you're the worst person I've ever met. At a certain age it's hard to recall. But the truly vile do stand out through the years."
(Witty Insult)
Olenna: "You've lost, Cersei. It's the only joy I could find in all this misery."
(Witty Insult)
18:15
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Bronn: "Now that is a sorry attempt at a siege. Someone needs to teach those sad twats how to dig trenches."
Jaime: "Someone certainly does." (Funny Line)
Jaime: "Someone certainly does." (Funny Line)
Bronn: "Oh no, not me. I'm just an upjump sellsword."
Jaime: "You're an anointed knight, there's quite a difference."
Bronn: "Aye, knights don't get paid." (Funny Line)
Jaime: "You're an anointed knight, there's quite a difference."
Bronn: "Aye, knights don't get paid." (Funny Line)
Jaime: "You have better instincts than any officer in the Lannister army."
Bronn: "That's like saying I have a bigger cock than anyone in the Unsullied army." (Witty Insult)
Bronn: "That's like saying I have a bigger cock than anyone in the Unsullied army." (Witty Insult)
Jaime: "And you'll get all three. A Lannister always pa-"
Bronn: "Don't say it. Don't fookin' say it..." (Funny Line)
Bronn: "Don't say it. Don't fookin' say it..." (Funny Line)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Lothar Frey: "Ser Jaime, we didn't know you were coming."
Jaime Lannister: "Because you didn't set a proper perimeter."
Bronn: "Good thing we're friends, or we'd be fucking you in the ass right now." (Witty Insult)
Jaime Lannister: "Because you didn't set a proper perimeter."
Bronn: "Good thing we're friends, or we'd be fucking you in the ass right now." (Witty Insult)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
21:29
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
to Black Walder: "Only a fool makes threats he's not prepared to carry out. Now let's say I threatened to hit you unless you shut your mouth, but you kept talking. What do you think I'd do?"
(Threat)
submitted by nsimmonds (approved!)
Jaime: "Get word to the Blackfish. I want a parley."
Bronn: "A parley or a fight?"
Jaime: "He's an old man."
Bronn: "You've got one hand. My money's on the old boy." (Witty Insult)
Bronn: "A parley or a fight?"
Jaime: "He's an old man."
Bronn: "You've got one hand. My money's on the old boy." (Witty Insult)
greeting Podrick Payne: "Gettin' a bit old to be a squire, aren't we?"
(Witty Insult)
Bronn: "Are they in there?"
Podrick Payne: "Uh huh."
Bronn: "You think they're fucking?"
Podrick: "What? No."
Bronn: "Why not? I'd fuck her. You'd fuck her, wouldn't you?"
Podrick: "I'm her squire."
Bronn: "Oh." (Funny Line)
Podrick Payne: "Uh huh."
Bronn: "You think they're fucking?"
Podrick: "What? No."
Bronn: "Why not? I'd fuck her. You'd fuck her, wouldn't you?"
Podrick: "I'm her squire."
Bronn: "Oh." (Funny Line)
on Jaime Lannister: "The way all women look at him is frankly irritating. I preferred working with the little brother on that account."
(Funny Line)
16:31
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
on Sansa Stark: "In my experience, girls like her don't live very long."
(Witty Insult)
31:18
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Edmure Tully: "Do you imagine yourself a decent person? ... After you've massacred my family. Kept me in a cell for years. Stolen our lands."
Jaime: "I'll remind you that our houses are at war. I'm sorry if this conflict has inconvenienced you, but rebelling against the Crown does have consequences." (Witty Insult)
Jaime: "I'll remind you that our houses are at war. I'm sorry if this conflict has inconvenienced you, but rebelling against the Crown does have consequences." (Witty Insult)
34:35
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
to Edmure Tully: "I'll send for your baby boy. And I'll launch him into Riverrun with a catapult. Because you don't matter to me, Lord Edmure. Your son doesn't matter to me. The people in the castle don't matter to me. Only Cersei."
(Threat)
to Jaime: "She doesn't want me, she wants your golden fingers up her twat."
(Funny Line)
submitted by axhandle (approved!)
to Jaime, after a Frey serving girl gives him the eye: "You don't even have to do anything, do you?"
(Funny Line)
Jaime Lannister: "Those two have their eyes on you."
Bronn: "They have their eyes on *you*, cunt."
Jaime: "Not my type."
Bronn: "Not blonde enough?" (Witty Insult)
Bronn: "They have their eyes on *you*, cunt."
Jaime: "Not my type."
Bronn: "Not blonde enough?" (Witty Insult)
26:10
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Walder Frey: "Fear is a marvelous thing."
Jaime: "They don't fear the Freys, though. They fear the Lannisters. We gave you the Riverlands to hold the Riverlands. If we have to ride north and take them back for you every time you lose them, why do we need you?" (Witty Insult)
Jaime: "They don't fear the Freys, though. They fear the Lannisters. We gave you the Riverlands to hold the Riverlands. If we have to ride north and take them back for you every time you lose them, why do we need you?" (Witty Insult)
submitted by moonbaseu92 (approved!)
"Obara. You look like an angry little boy. Don't presume to tell me what I need."
(Witty Insult)
"Do shut up, dear. *turns to Tyene Sand* Anything from you? *Tyene begins to speak* No? Good. Let the grown women speak."
(Witty Insult)
Glasses of Wine Consumed
Grey Worm drinks in the Meereenese council room, as Tyrion toasts: "Here's to our Queen. Anyone not drinking is disrespecting our Queen."
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
18:15
(+5)
Septa Unella:
Septa Unella has a cup of wine poured over her face as she is being tortured by Cersei Lannister.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
18:32
(+5)
Septa Unella:
Following up on the cup, Septa Unella has an entire pitcher of wine poured over her face as she is being tortured by Cersei Lannister.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
Acts of Intercourse
43:08
(+10)
Jaime Lannister:
Jaime and Cersei get it on after hot and heavy dirty talk about the power of House Lannister and destroying their enemies. "They've made us both stronger, all of them. They have no idea how strong we are. No idea what we're going to do to them. We've always been together. We'll always be together."
(Act of Intercourse)
Deaths
17:27
(+10)
Mace Tyrell:
Mace Tyrell is engulfed as the wildfire explosion rips through the Sept of Baelor, destroying the entire section of King's Landing and killing all those inside.
(Death)
Special
Tyrion references Varys' eunuch status in his comeback.
Varys: "You walk as though the paving stones were your personal property. I used to steal from people like you when I was a boy."
Tyrion: "It's a good thing you're not a boy anymore. ... Because you have no cock." (Special)
Varys: "You walk as though the paving stones were your personal property. I used to steal from people like you when I was a boy."
Tyrion: "It's a good thing you're not a boy anymore. ... Because you have no cock." (Special)
Varys just can't get away from the eunuch references after he judgmentally stares at Tyrion downing another cup of wine.
Tyrion: "If I lost my cock, I'd drink all the time. *looks at Greyworm* ...meaning no offense. He makes dwarf jokes, I make eunuch jokes." (Special)
Tyrion: "If I lost my cock, I'd drink all the time. *looks at Greyworm* ...meaning no offense. He makes dwarf jokes, I make eunuch jokes." (Special)
submitted by alexander.hilton91 (approved!)
32:28
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Olenna to Cersei: "Margaery is the Queen. You are not the Queen, because you're not married to the king. I do appreciate these things can get a bit confusing in your family."
(Special)
(Special)
Astapor slave master: "We came here to meet the Queen, and instead we're greeted by a dwarf and a eunuch."
(Special)
in Valyrian to the former slaves: "I do not trust them (the slave mastesr). I will never trust them. ... but as a wise man once said, 'We make peace with our enemies, not out friends'."
(Special)
High Priestess Kinvara talks to Varys about his castration.
"If not for your... mutilation at the hand of a second-rate sorcerer, you wouldn't be here. Helping the Lord's Chosen bring his light into the world... Do you remember what you heard that night when the sorcerer tossed your parts in the fire?" (Special)
"If not for your... mutilation at the hand of a second-rate sorcerer, you wouldn't be here. Helping the Lord's Chosen bring his light into the world... Do you remember what you heard that night when the sorcerer tossed your parts in the fire?" (Special)
submitted by emilien.raggi (approved!)
"Now that is a sorry attempt at a siege. Someone needs to teach those sad twats how to dig trenches."
(Special)
21:39
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Jaime smacks Black Walder with his golden hand as he gives a lesson on threats.
Jaime: "Only a fool makes threats he's not prepared to carry out. Now let's say I threatened to hit you unless you shut your mouth, but you kept talking. What do you think I'd do?"
Black Walder: "I don't give a rat's-" *smack* (Special)
Jaime: "Only a fool makes threats he's not prepared to carry out. Now let's say I threatened to hit you unless you shut your mouth, but you kept talking. What do you think I'd do?"
Black Walder: "I don't give a rat's-" *smack* (Special)
Bronn starts instructing the Frey forces on the proper siege preparations: "Have your lads start digging perimeter trenches. Set pickets every hundred yards. And work double-time on those siege towers and trebuchets."
(Special)
Varys: "If you shaved your beard with a straight razor, you'd say the razor worked. That doesn't mean it won't cut your throat."
Tyrion: "Spoken like a man who has never had to shave." (Special)
Tyrion: "Spoken like a man who has never had to shave." (Special)
submitted by alexanderdropkin (approved!)
Podrick: "She's training me to fight."
Bronn: "Is she? Oh ... Then how come an old cunt like me can still sneak up and murder you?"
Podrick: "Well, that's a different sort of fighting."
Bronn: "Now, that's the truth, isn't it? You want to learn that sort of fighting? ... All right, let's start with your footwork..." (Special)
Bronn: "Is she? Oh ... Then how come an old cunt like me can still sneak up and murder you?"
Podrick: "Well, that's a different sort of fighting."
Bronn: "Now, that's the truth, isn't it? You want to learn that sort of fighting? ... All right, let's start with your footwork..." (Special)
42:09
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
after spotting them from the castle wall, Jaime waves to Brienne and Podrick as they row away from Riverrun.
(Special)
submitted by andres.geurts (approved!)
24:08
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Bronn converses with Jaime about the women at the Frey-Lannister feast.
Jaime: "Not my type."
Bronn: "Not blonde enough?" (Special)
Jaime: "Not my type."
Bronn: "Not blonde enough?" (Special)