Matchup: The God of Tits and Wine vs Theon's Sausage for Ep 1

The God of Tits and Wine (andrewtforeman)

Character	Drafted	Total	Kills	Politics	Insults	Deaths
Ellaria Sand The former paramour of Prince Oberyn. She is also the mother of several of his bastard children, known as the Sand Snakes, and plots revenge against the Lannisters for Oberyn's death.	#61	19	10	6	3	0
Areo Hotah The personal bodyguard for Doran Martell.	#45	10	0	0	0	10
Alliser Thorne A former master-of-arms and acting Commander of the Night's Watch, Thorne narrowly lost the Lord Commander choosing to Jon Snow in S5. He later led a mutiny of disgruntled Night's Watch members against Jon Snow, stabbing and leaving him for dead.	#36	6	0	6	0	0
Theon Greyjoy Heir to the Iron Islands, and formerly a ward of House Stark. Theon has been broken through torture by the hands of Ramsay Bolton, but has escaped Winterfell along with Sansa Stark during the chaos of the Battle of Winterfell.	#20	2	2	0	0	0
Jon Snow The bastard son of Ned Stark, and the current Lord Commander of the Night's Watch. After guiding the Wildlings to safety in the aftermath of the Battle of Castle Black and the attack on Hardhome, he was betrayed by a mutiny of the Night's Watch, and left for dead in the snow.	#13	0	0	0	0	0
Eddison Tollett A member of the Night's Watch, and one of Jon Snow's few friends on the Wall.	#52	0	0	0	0	0
Petyr Baelish (Littlefinger) Formerly the Master of Coin, Littlefinger is a conniving political mastermind and serves as Warden of the East after his behind-the-scenes assassination of Lisa Tully.	#4	0	0	0	0	0
Hodor Hodor hodor Hodor hodor Hodor hodor Hodor hodor Hodor hodor Hodor hodor Hodor. hodor.	#29	0	0	0	0	0
Totals		37	12	12	3	10

Theon's Sausage (mrudd27)

Character	Drafted	Total	Politics	Insults	Special
Davos Seaworth Ser Davos is a knight serving Stannis Baratheon, and one of his most trusted advisors. He is often at odds with the Red Priestess Melisandre.	#14	6	3	3	0
Cersei Lannister Queen Regent of the Seven Kingdoms and mother to King Tommen. Afflicted by a rare water allergy.	#3	3	0	0	3
Septa Unella A Septa and member of the Most Devout, the council that rules the Faith of the Seven. She rings the shame! shame! shame! bell.	#62	3	0	3	0
Lancel Lannister A cousin to the Lannister children. In a past life he was a stuttering servant to King Robert Baratheon and secret consort to his cousin Queen Cersei Lannister. Lancel now serves as a leading member of the Sparrows, a dangerously militant religious group whose power over King's Landing is growing.	#30	0	0	0	0
High Sparrow The leader of the Sparrows, a religious movement within the Faith of the Seven. After being appointed as High Septon by Cersei Lannister, he has lead a sweeping inquiry to root out moral corruption in King's Landing, imprisoning Loras Tyrell, Margaery Tyrell, and Cersei Lannister.	#19	0	0	0	0
Thoros of Myr A Red Priest from the city of Myr - he is a member of the Brotherhood Without Banners, led by Beric Dondarrion.	#35	0	0	0	0
Three-eyed raven A mysterious man who lives far north of the Wall with the Children of the Forest. He has been guiding Bran's dreams through the form of a three-eyed raven.	#46	0	0	0	0
Balon Greyjoy The head of House Greyjoy and Lord of the Iron Islands. He is the father of Theon, who was given up as a ward to the Starks after Balon's failed rebellion against the Iron Throne.	#51	0	0	0	0
Totals		12	3	6	3

Kills

17:13 (+2) Theon Greyjoy:

Theon stabs a Bolton soldier through the back while he is battling Podrick Payne. (Kill of Unnamed Character)

26:51 (+10) Ellaria Sand:

Ellaria stabs Doran Martell as she overthrows the royal family of Dorne. "When was the last time you left this palace? You don't know your own people. Their disgust for you. Elia Martell raped and murdered, and you did nothing. Oberyn Martell butchered, and you did nothing. You're not a Dornishman. You're not our Prince." (Kill of Named Character)

Political Wins

8:13 (+3) Alliser Thorne:

Ser Alliser defends his treason against Lord Commander Jon Snow, and convinces the Night's Watch to side with him.

"You're right! We've committed treason, all of us. Jon Snow was my Lord Commander. I had no love for him. That was no secret. But I never once disobeyed an order. Loyalty is the foundation on which the Night's Watch is built. And the Watch means everything to me. I have given my life, we have all given our lives to the Night's Watch. Jon Snow was going to destroy the Night's Watch ... He thrust a terrible choice upon us. And we made it." (Convincing Argument)

8:13 (+3) Alliser Thorne:

Alliser takes over as de facto Commander of the Night's Watch after explaining his mutinous actions to kill Jon Snow, and winning over the crowd. (New Title)

9:07 (+3) Davos Seaworth:

Ser Davos convinces Edd to seek help from the Wildlings instead of throwing his life away in an attack against Alliser Thorne. "You're not the only ones who owe your lives to Jon Snow. (Convincing Argument)

26:51 (+3) Ellaria Sand:

Ellaria betrays Doran Martell, stabbing him to death as she overthrows the royal family of Dorne.
Doran Martell: "My son... Trystane."
Ellaria: "Your son is weak, just like you. And weak men will never rule Dorne again." (Act of Betrayal)

27:09 (+3) Ellaria Sand:

Ellaria performs a coups d'état and seizes control of Dorne after assassinating Doran and Trystane Martell.
Doran Martell: "My son... Trystane."
Ellaria: "Your son is weak, just like you. And weak men will never rule Dorne again." (Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)

Insults Delivered / Funny Lines

23:57 (+3) Septa Unella:

Margery: "I am the Queen and I demand to see my brother."
Unella: "Sinners do not make demands. They make confessions" (Comeback)

submitted by smarlow13 (approved!)

27:28 (+3) Ellaria Sand:

Doran Martell: "My son, Trystane..."
Ellaria: "Your son is weak, just like you. And weak men will never rule Dorne again." (Witty Insult)

submitted by nyan (approved!)

44:25 (+3) Davos Seaworth:

Alliser Thorne: "And you, Ser Davos, I will allow you to travel south. A free man, with a fresh horse."
Davos: "And some mutton. I'd like some mutton."
Alliser: "Wot?" (Funny Line)

Deaths

26:50 (+10) Areo Hotah:

Areo Hotah dies from a dagger to the back from Tyene Sand, as Ellaria Sand launches her coup d'état of Dorne. (Death)

Special

22:29 (+3) Cersei Lannister:

Jaime refers to Myrcella's parentage as Cersei grives: "Listen- listen to me. She was my daughter and I failed her." (Special)

I feel like Jamie should have gotten points for this scene too, they were grieving parents together, clearly referring to their children, and what was taken from them. -taylorreneegoodrich

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2016 May 2
@taylorreneegoodrich, this special originated from the earlier seasons when the paternity of Cersei's children was much more of a hushed secret. It's gotten more difficult to score now that Cersei and Jaime talk about it all the time, but in keeping with the original scoring, Cersei/Jaime get a point when it's someone else who talks about their childrens' bastardy *to* them. In this case it was Jaime's line to Cersei, but Cersei didn't respond back with anything about their kids.

the main distinction we went with is -nyan

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2016 May 2
Cersei also had a glass of wine so where are the points for that? -kimbo

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2016 May 2 joe.puglisi, bookworm13457, sofiazbv, Lem Lemoncake like this

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2025 Nathan Yan

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