Matchup: Melisandre's Killer Shadow Queefs vs United Under Unique Unics' Unit for Ep 1

The Game of Bones

Melisandre's Killer Shadow Queefs (tommywaffles18)

Character	Drafted	Total	Kills	Politics	Insults
Brienne of Tarth A skilled fighter and heir to House Tarth. A sworn sword to the late Catelyn Stark, she continues her mission to ensure the safety of the Stark girls.	#6	11	8	3	0
Davos Seaworth Ser Davos is a knight serving Stannis Baratheon, and one of his most trusted advisors. He is often at odds with the Red Priestess Melisandre.	#22	6	0	3	3
Daenerys Targaryen The last royal member of the Targaryen dynasty, Daenerys and her three dragons have carved out a revolutionary empire in the east, liberating several slave cities and acquiring an army of Unsullied warriors. Her recent rule over the slave city of Meereen has been met with strife, however, and she currently finds herself lost with her largest dragon, Drogon, in Dothraki territory.	#3	5	2	3	0
Sansa Stark The second eldest of the Stark children. Sansa has spent many of her past years as prisoner to the Lannisters and more recently, House Bolton, the new Warden of the North. Currently she is married to Ramsay, the heir of House Bolton, who keeps her imprisoned in Winterfell and tortures her sadistically. During the Bolton battle against Stannis Baratheon's forces, Sansa escapes over the Winterfell walls with the help of Theon Greyjoy, and the two make their way as far from the Boltons as possible. She is a huge fan of lemon cakes.	#11	3	0	3	0
Theon Greyjoy Heir to the Iron Islands, and formerly a ward of House Stark. Theon has been broken through torture by the hands of Ramsay Bolton, but has escaped Winterfell along with Sansa Stark during the chaos of the Battle of Winterfell.	#19	2	2	0	0
Eddard Stark The long-deceased head of House Stark. There are rumors that he may make a reappearance in flashback form for S6.	#14	0	0	0	0
Euron Greyjoy An uncle to Theon Greyjoy, Euron is an infamous pirate who has terrorized seas all around the world. He is described as cunning, ruthless, and with a touch of madness.	#30	0	0	0	0
Tormund Giantsbane A leader of the Wildlings, and formerly a trusted lieutenant and second-in-command to Mance Rayder, the King Beyond the Wall. Although they have met in battle more than once, he bears a grudging respect for Jon Snow.	#27	0	0	0	0
Totals		27	12	12	3

United Under Unique Unics' Unit (marcus.barkac)

Character	Drafted	Total	Politics	Insults	Special
Alliser Thorne A former master-of-arms and acting Commander of the Night's Watch, Thorne narrowly lost the Lord Commander choosing to Jon Snow in S5. He later led a mutiny of disgruntled Night's Watch members against Jon Snow, stabbing and leaving him for dead.	#32	6	6	0	0
Tyrion Lannister The third, stunted dwarf of the Lannister children - a fugitive from Westeros after losing his trial for the murder of King Joffrey, he has escaped and found service as an advisor to Daenerys Targaryen.	#1	6	0	3	3
Varys Formerly the Master of Whisperers in King's Landing, Varys controls a vast network of spies. After smuggling Tyrion Lannister to Essos, he reveals himself as a supporter of Daenerys Targaryen's claim to the Iron Throne. In Daenerys' absence, he serves with Tyrion Lannister and presides over the rule of Meereen.	#9	6	0	3	3
Jorah Mormont The exiled head of House Mormont. Jorah was previously one of Daenerys Targaryen's most trusted advisors before his banishment. He returned to her service during a revolt in the fighting pits of Meereen, and now travels with Daario Naharis to rescue Daenerys, who has disappeared along with one of her dragons, Drogon.	#17	6	0	0	6
Cersei Lannister Queen Regent of the Seven Kingdoms and mother to King Tommen. Afflicted by a rare water allergy.	#8	3	0	0	3
Jaqen H'ghar The leader of the Faceless Men of Braavos, and a skilled assassin. He trains Arya to become an assassin in the House of Black and White.	#25	0	0	0	0
Petyr Baelish (Littlefinger) Formerly the Master of Coin, Littlefinger is a conniving political mastermind and serves as Warden of the East after his behind-the-scenes assassination of Lisa Tully.	#16	0	0	0	0
Margaery Tyrell The wife of King Tommen Baratheon and Queen of the Seven Kingdoms. Her increasing influence over the young king have put at her odds against his mother, Cersei Lannister.	#24	0	0	0	0
Totals		27	6	6	15

Kills

15:49 (+2) Brienne of Tarth:

Brienne cuts down the first Bolton soldier on horseback as she and Podrick rush in to save Sansa Stark. "It's a bloody woman!" (Kill of Unnamed Character)

16:22 (+2) Brienne of Tarth:

Brienne cuts down the second Bolton soldier who stupidly dismounts his horse to engage an enemy he's knocked to the ground. (Kill of Unnamed Character)

16:31 (+2) Brienne of Tarth:

Brienne cuts down the horse of a Bolton soldier, pinning the soldier's leg (Kill of Unnamed Character)

17:00 (+2) Brienne of Tarth:

Brienne ruthlessly slits the throat of a Bolton soldier pinned under his own horse. (Kill of Unnamed Character)

17:13 (+2) Theon Greyjoy:

Theon stabs a Bolton soldier through the back while he is battling Podrick Payne. (Kill of Unnamed Character)

32:57 (+2) Daenerys Targaryen:

Jorah and Daario discover the charred bones of a ram out on the hills near the Dothraki sea. It appears to be Drogon's work.

Daario: "You think our friend got him?"
Jorah: "Don't know anything else that can melt a ram's horn."
Daario: "We're on the right path, then." (Kill of Unnamed Character)

submitted by alicehanners (approved!)

So the one little bit of difference in my mind is that for the little kid, we see both the before and after. So it's a clear, "this happened during the course of the episode". The ram in this case, I don't think was shown anytime earlier, and I worry that giving points for *any* dead bodies that show up will lead to some later scene where we come across a field of hundreds of mutilated bodies and get a line "Drogon must have done this." or "this is the work of Gregor Clegane", and end up rewarding a bunch of points that never had a payoff for show watchers.

Open to other thoughts/interpretations though. This is a good precedent-setter either way. -nyan

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2016 Apr 26
Wait, you see Zalla alive? I forgot that part
-alicehanners

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2016 Apr 26
Will have to bring the episode back up, but if I recall correctly the opening scene of the episode is the girl playing on the grass hillside. Then Drogon emerges from below the cliff and stares down at her. The later on in the episode the man comes to Daenerys' court with the charred bones. -nyan

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2016 Apr 26
Went back to do a rewatch, your memory of the events is right Alice. The scene I was thinking of is from S4E6 - Drogon rises above the cliff to stare down a boy goat herder, then ends up roasting a little goat and snatching it away. The boy escapes unscathed. Later in S4E10 the girls' bones show up without any prior introduction. I also found some previous precedents with Ramsay talking about killing people and just displaying the flayed corpses in S5 which were counted. So in keeping with that, this poor bbq'd ram will count! -nyan

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2016 Apr 27 moonbaseu92 likes this
Are dragon kills considered her "Special"? Because that would be a x3 multiplier -armizzle.diaz

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2016 Apr 29
@armizzle.diaz the dragons' actions will count for all of their respective category, so this is scored as kills, and if they shotgun a barrel of wine or decide to get incestuous, it'll count as wine/sex points. The special category is more for the "+1 for each..." that don't fit elsewhere. The Starks' wolves are counted the same way. -nyan

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2016 Apr 29 nsimmonds likes this

Political Wins

8:13 (+3) Alliser Thorne:

Ser Alliser defends his treason against Lord Commander Jon Snow, and convinces the Night's Watch to side with him.

"You're right! We've committed treason, all of us. Jon Snow was my Lord Commander. I had no love for him. That was no secret. But I never once disobeyed an order. Loyalty is the foundation on which the Night's Watch is built. And the Watch means everything to me. I have given my life, we have all given our lives to the Night's Watch. Jon Snow was going to destroy the Night's Watch ... He thrust a terrible choice upon us. And we made it." (Convincing Argument)

8:13 (+3) Alliser Thorne:

Alliser takes over as de facto Commander of the Night's Watch after explaining his mutinous actions to kill Jon Snow, and winning over the crowd. (New Title)

9:07 (+3) Davos Seaworth:

Ser Davos convinces Edd to seek help from the Wildlings instead of throwing his life away in an attack against Alliser Thorne. "You're not the only ones who owe your lives to Jon Snow. (Convincing Argument)

18:16 (+3) Sansa Stark:

Given a redo, Lady Sansa finally accepts Brienne of Tarth into her service as a knight.
Brienne: "Lady Sansa, I offer my services once again. I will shield your back and keep your counsel and give my life for yours if need be. I swear it, by the Old Gods and the New."
Sansa: "And I vow... that you shall always have a place by my... hearth. and..."
Podrick assist" Meat and mead at my table."
Sansa: "...meat and mead at my table. And I pledge to ask no service of you that might bring you dishonor. I swear it by the Old Gods and the New. Arise." (New Follower/Prisoner)

18:16 (+3) Brienne of Tarth:

After saving her from capture by the Bolton soldiers, Brienne finally convinces Sansa Stark to accept her protection.
Brienne: "Lady Sansa, I offer my services once again. I will shield your back and keep your counsel and give my life for yours if need be. I swear it, by the Old Gods and the New."
Sansa: "And I vow... that you shall always have a place by my... hearth. and..."
Podrick assist" Meat and mead at my table."
Sansa: "...meat and mead at my table. And I pledge to ask no service of you that might bring you dishonor. I swear it by the Old Gods and the New. Arise." (Convincing Argument)

submitted by moonbaseu92 (approved!)

8 more comments - see full thread

Even if it's not a title, doesn't it count as convincing Sansa of something major? Brienne has been trying to convince Sansa to let her protect her for like an entire season. Sansa initially said no, and Brienne has now changed her mind. -jedjackoway

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2016 Apr 27 moonbaseu92 and alicehanners like this
It sounds like decent consensus that Brienne should get something here, and convincing Sansa to accept her services is a solid one because of the past rejection. The new title (if there is one) will be saved for when/if it is actually named on the show. -nyan

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2016 Apr 28 alicehanners likes this
Why Does Jon not get points this week? i feel like that's pretty significant for points lol -ehbud25

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2016 May 2

40:11 (+3) Daenerys Targaryen:

Daenerys convinces Khal Moro to not rape her by mentioning that she is the widow of Khal Drogo.
Daenerys: "I was wife to Khal Dorgo, son of Khal Bharbo."
Khal Moro: "Khal Drogo is dead."
Daenerys: " I know. I burnt his body."
Khal Moro: "Forgive me. I did not know. It is forbidden to lie with a Khal's widow. No one will touch you. You have my word." (Convincing Argument)

submitted by nyan (approved!)

Insults Delivered / Funny Lines

29:17 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:

Tyrion with the completely uncalled-for burn on Varys.
Varys: "You walk as though the paving stones were your personal property. I used to steal from people like you when I was a boy."
Tyrion: "It's a good thing you're not a boy anymore. ... Because you have no cock." (Witty Insult)

29:48 (+3) Varys:

Tyrion to homeless mother: "For your baby. To eat." [makes stuffing motion into mouth]
Varys. "She thinks you want to eat her baby." (Funny Line)

44:25 (+3) Davos Seaworth:

Alliser Thorne: "And you, Ser Davos, I will allow you to travel south. A free man, with a fresh horse."
Davos: "And some mutton. I'd like some mutton."
Alliser: "Wot?" (Funny Line)

Special

22:29 (+3) Cersei Lannister:

Jaime refers to Myrcella's parentage as Cersei grives: "Listen- listen to me. She was my daughter and I failed her." (Special)

I feel like Jamie should have gotten points for this scene too, they were grieving parents together, clearly referring to their children, and what was taken from them. -taylorreneegoodrich

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2016 May 2
@taylorreneegoodrich, this special originated from the earlier seasons when the paternity of Cersei's children was much more of a hushed secret. It's gotten more difficult to score now that Cersei and Jaime talk about it all the time, but in keeping with the original scoring, Cersei/Jaime get a point when it's someone else who talks about their childrens' bastardy *to* them. In this case it was Jaime's line to Cersei, but Cersei didn't respond back with anything about their kids.

the main distinction we went with is -nyan

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2016 May 2
Cersei also had a glass of wine so where are the points for that? -kimbo

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2016 May 2 joe.puglisi, bookworm13457, sofiazbv, Lem Lemoncake like this

29:17 (+3) Varys:

Tyrion references Varys' eunuch status in his comeback.
Varys: "You walk as though the paving stones were your personal property. I used to steal from people like you when I was a boy."
Tyrion: "It's a good thing you're not a boy anymore. ... Because you have no cock." (Special)

29:58 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:

Tyrion gives a coin to the Meereenese homeless woman and her baby to feed themselves. (Special)

33:27 (+3) Jorah Mormont:

Daario Naharis calls out Jorah's friendzone status like he sees it:
Jorah: "I've been all over the world. There's no escaping men like us."
Daario: "There's no escaping her, eh? You keep coming back. Why?"
Jorah: "You know why."
Daario: "Isn't it frustrating wanting someone who doesn't want you back?" (Special)

Is this really Jorah's special, though? Dany isn't leading him on, they're just talking about it. -alicehanners

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2016 Apr 26 mariahwestfall3 likes this
Yeah, pretty disappointed that this counts as being friendzoned -paolarodelas

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2016 Apr 26
There was actually a last-minute change to clarify Jorah's special a bit - the old text was "Daneerys leads him on", and it's now "gets friendzoned". Paola has a fair point that it may not count even then - it's really Daario jabbing at/referencing his friendzone status, and not actually Daenerys putting him in it. If others feel this shouldn't count, we'll take it out. -nyan

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2016 Apr 26 as38 likes this
I think whining about the vassalzone should count. You can practically see the fedora in this scene. -nsimmonds

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2016 Apr 26

34:20 (+3) Jorah Mormont:

Jorah corrects Daario with the proper Essos terminology.
Daario: "Huh... an army?"
Jorah: "Not an army. A horde." (Special)

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