Matchup: Rastafarian Targaryen vs Arya Ready to Lose for Ep 7
Battle of the Bastards
Kills
After revealing the wight to the audience in King's Landing, Sandor Clegane reels back its chain and bisects the wight as it charges him.
(Major Injury of Unnamed Character)
At the audience in King's Landing, Jon demonstrates the two ways of defeating the Army of the Dead, burning the wight's severed hand, and then finishing off the dismembered wight with a dragonglass dagger.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
53:24
(+1)
Theon Greyjoy:
Theon makes a comeback in round two with Harrag, wearing out the older Ironborn's kneecap on his impervious groin area, and then pounding him into submission.
(Minor Injury of Named Character)
Political Wins
In what is universally regarded as a terrible idea by all sides, Jon single-handedly dissolves the Lannister-Targaryen truce in the name of honor and hopefully getting into Daenerys' pants later.
Cersei: "In return, the King in the North will extend this truce. He will remain in the North where he belongs. He will not take up arms against the Lannisters. He will not choose sides. ... I know Ned Stark's son will be true to his word."
Jon Snow: "I am true to my word. Or I try to be. That is why I cannot give you what you ask. I cannot serve two queens. And I have already pledged myself to Queen Daenerys of House Targaryen." (Executive Decision)
Cersei: "In return, the King in the North will extend this truce. He will remain in the North where he belongs. He will not take up arms against the Lannisters. He will not choose sides. ... I know Ned Stark's son will be true to his word."
Jon Snow: "I am true to my word. Or I try to be. That is why I cannot give you what you ask. I cannot serve two queens. And I have already pledged myself to Queen Daenerys of House Targaryen." (Executive Decision)
36:50
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
During their meeting in King's Landing, Tyrion deduces that Cersei is pregnant.
(Secret Discovery)
40:01
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion's meeting with Cersei is succesful, convincing her to not only agree to the truce but to pledge her armies to march north to face the undead threat.
Cersei: "My armies will not stand down. I will not pull them back to the capital. I will march them north to fight alongside you in the Great War. The darkness is coming for us all. We'll face it together. And when the Great War is over, perhaps you'll remember I chose to help with no promises or assurances from any of you." (Convincing Argument)
Cersei: "My armies will not stand down. I will not pull them back to the capital. I will march them north to fight alongside you in the Great War. The darkness is coming for us all. We'll face it together. And when the Great War is over, perhaps you'll remember I chose to help with no promises or assurances from any of you." (Convincing Argument)
40:01
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
After a private meeting with Tyrion, Cersei agrees to a truce with the Targaryen and Northern forces so that they may collectively combat the White Walker threat, completing the deal brokered by Tyrion, Jaime, and Bronn's secret meeting.
(Deals Brokered)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Jon convinces Daenerys to sail with him to the North, rather than flying on her own.
"It's your decision, Your Grace. But if we're going to be allies in this war, it's important for the Northerners to see us as allies. If we sail to White Harbor together, I think it sends a better message." (Convincing Argument)
"It's your decision, Your Grace. But if we're going to be allies in this war, it's important for the Northerners to see us as allies. If we sail to White Harbor together, I think it sends a better message." (Convincing Argument)
53:29
(+3)
Theon Greyjoy:
Theon wins over Harrag's crew of Ironborn after punching him out on the beaches of Dragonstone. "Not for me. For Yara!"
(Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
69:17
(+3)
Samwell Tarly:
Sam puts the pieces of Bran's visions about Jon Snow's parentage together, remembering what Gilly told him at the Citadel about Rhaegar Targaryen's secret wedding.
"At the Citadel, I transcribed a High Septon's diary. He annulled Rhaegar's marriage to Elia. He wed Rhaegar and Lyanna in a secret ceremony." (Secret Discovery)
"At the Citadel, I transcribed a High Septon's diary. He annulled Rhaegar's marriage to Elia. He wed Rhaegar and Lyanna in a secret ceremony." (Secret Discovery)
Insults Delivered / Funny Lines
Sandor Clegane: "Am I going to die in this shit city?"
Tyrion Lanniser: "You might."
Sandor: "And this is all your idea. Seems every bad idea has some Lannister cunt behind it." (Witty Insult)
Tyrion Lanniser: "You might."
Sandor: "And this is all your idea. Seems every bad idea has some Lannister cunt behind it." (Witty Insult)
13:55
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Sandor Clegane: "Am I going to die in this shit city?"
Tyrion Lanniser: "You might."
Sandor: "And this is all your idea. Seems every bad idea has some Lannister cunt behind it."
Tyrion: "And some Clegane cunt to help them see it through." (Witty Insult)
Tyrion Lanniser: "You might."
Sandor: "And this is all your idea. Seems every bad idea has some Lannister cunt behind it."
Tyrion: "And some Clegane cunt to help them see it through." (Witty Insult)
to Gregor Clegane: "Remember me? Yeah, you do. You're even fucking uglier than I am now. What did they do to you? Doesn't matter. That's not how it ends for you, brother. You know who's coming for you. You've always known."
(Threat)
28:21
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
to Jon Snow: "I'm pleased you bent the knee to our Queen. I would have advised it, had you asked. But have you ever considered learning how to lie every now and then? Just a bit?!?"
(Witty Insult)
28:49
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Jon: "Talk about my father if you want, tell me that's the attitude that got him killed. But when enough people make false promises, words stop meaning anything. Then there are no more answers, only better and better lies. And lies won't help us in this fight."
Tyrion: "That is indeed a problem. The more immediate problem is that we're fucked." (Funny Line)
Tyrion: "That is indeed a problem. The more immediate problem is that we're fucked." (Funny Line)
29:23
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Jon Snow: "I did this. I should go."
Tyrion: "She'll definitely murder you." (Funny Line)
Tyrion: "She'll definitely murder you." (Funny Line)
32:02
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Cersei: "I shouldn't be surprised, I suppose. She's your kind of woman: a foreign whore who doesn't know her place."
Tyrion: "A foreign whore you can't abduct, beat, or intimidate. That must be difficult for you." (Witty Insult)
Tyrion: "A foreign whore you can't abduct, beat, or intimidate. That must be difficult for you." (Witty Insult)
67:52
(+3)
Samwell Tarly:
Sam: "What happened to you beyond the Wall?"
Bran Stark: "I became the Three-Eyed Raven."
Sam: "Ohhh! ...I don't know what that means." (Funny Line)
Bran Stark: "I became the Three-Eyed Raven."
Sam: "Ohhh! ...I don't know what that means." (Funny Line)
Glasses of Wine Consumed
34:26
(+5)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion pours himself a glass from Cersei's own wine stash after he survives his feigned plea that Cersei should have Gregor Clegane execute him.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
35:24
(+5)
Tyrion Lannister:
After serving a refill of wine to Cersei, Tyrion pours another for himself and drinks.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
Acts of Intercourse
The Feels
34:54
(+0)
Tyrion Lannister:
After an intense conversation spilling out all of Tyrion's wrongs to their family, Cersei decides not to execute her brother after all this time. Relieved, Tyrion downs a glass of wine, and pours another for Cersei, reuniting them with the only familial bond more powerful than her incestual love for Jaime - alcoholism.
(Warm Fuzzy Moment)
48:49
(+0)
Theon Greyjoy:
Jon Snow comes around to forgive Theon for his betrayals to their family.
Theon: "I always wanted to do the right thing. Be the right kind of person. But I never knew what that meant. It always seemed like there's like there was an impossible choice I had to make. Stark or Greyjoy."
Jon Snow: "Our father was more of a father to you than yours ever was. ... And you betrayed him. Betrayed his memory. ... But you never lost him. He's a part of you. Just like he's a part of me. But the things I've done It's not my place to forgive you for all of it.
But what I can forgive, I do. You don't need to choose. You're a Greyjoy and you're a Stark." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
Theon: "I always wanted to do the right thing. Be the right kind of person. But I never knew what that meant. It always seemed like there's like there was an impossible choice I had to make. Stark or Greyjoy."
Jon Snow: "Our father was more of a father to you than yours ever was. ... And you betrayed him. Betrayed his memory. ... But you never lost him. He's a part of you. Just like he's a part of me. But the things I've done It's not my place to forgive you for all of it.
But what I can forgive, I do. You don't need to choose. You're a Greyjoy and you're a Stark." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)